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Primal Journal (Marianne "60 Is the New 40")

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  • #31
    You do sound parentally blessed my dear!

    Your zumba story? Oh my... It's a funny bone tickler. I am a zumba addict. If need be I will send you GPS coordinates to my neighborhood dance studio so that one of the Tone instructors can mop the floor with you. I am often literally soaked to the skin. So yeah, sitting zumba seems... anticlimactic!

    Good job on the bread. This has been my first experience of not being a 'cravey' eater and it still has me a little flummoxed. Seems to good to be true, but true it is!

    It's nice you and your husband can do this together.

    Keep up the good work friend. You are doing great! xoL


    • #32
      Way to pick your parents, Marianne! I had friends who lost their parents just after highschool; I've been blessed to have both of mine well into my 50's. I am grateful for all those years.

      Please to explain "Proustian moment"? (I know he's a writer.)


      • #33
        Yes, I'm very, very lucky to still have my parents this late into my own life. Such a gift to be able to mature together and see our relationship deepen over the years.

        Sanas -- I'm sure a real live literary scholar could give you a more "official" explanation on the Proustian moment thing, but it's essentially about involuntary memories. For Proust, the main character in his most famous book eats a madeleine cookie and then all sorts of memories of his childhood start flooding back and are they are the start of the story of the book. For me, Missblue's mention of butter on radishes was close to the same thing. I'd completely forgotten that wonderful taste combo, then her post brought back lovely memories of early Spring picnics in Sweden and the dear people I shared them with. But, unlike Marcel Proust, I do not intend to write a seven volume novel about it!
        My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


        • #34
          I have definitely been gathering primal steam again recently after a bit of a slump from winter holidays, visitors, a few lingering aches and pains, etc. Today I have decided to ramp up the commitment further and attempt the 21-Day Challenge. No, I should say DO the 21-Day Challenge. No maybe’s. No almost’s.

          I’ve had the 21-Day book ever since it came out, and even gave a copy to my 26-year old computer jockey son in the hopes that he would think about improving his health habits. No luck there yet, but I don’t have much of a soap box to stand on if I don’t do the challenge myself, right? He’s definitely noticed I’ve lost weight over the last year and jokes that now I have more muscle than he does. Maybe a solid commitment on my part will get him thinking further. Parenting 101: Teaching Children By Example. Still a useful subject!

          Despite how happy I would be to see him change his evil snacking ways, though, this decision is really for me. I have spent most of my life struggling with food, weight, guilt, body issues, and all the associated misery. A good part of the misery was all about falling off whatever diet wagon I happened to be on—eating the cookies at midnight, not following through on a promise to exercise, etc.—and then feeling like sh*t for it afterwards. It seemed that although I would rather break my leg than break a promise to another person, when it came to promising myself . . .

          Going primal has made a huge, HUGE difference in that whole miserable state. I relate to food, my body—heck, my life, the world!—in a wonderful new and healthy way. I no longer rebel against healthy choices, subconsciously seething at the idea of being told what I can/can’t have or should/shouldn’t do.

          Now I see making good choices as fun challenges. Who knew THAT was possible? I know I will never have a life of total 100% perfection in all the choices I make. That’s okay, I don’t really want it. But I do want to be someone who keeps commitments to herself. So starting today and for the next three weeks, I have committed wholly and hereby publically to full-tilt primal, following the 21-Day Challenge with no foggy oh-it’s-just-one-little-taste excuses around the edges.

          Best of all, I don’t see this as a curse or a horror to live through. It’s more like a fitting activity to take on at the end of this amazing year. My science fair project, as it were, and a celebration of all that I’ve learned thus far—hey, that even sounds like fun!
          My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


          • #35
            And we'll all be rootin' for you Marianne. Go get 'em!
            There's a crack inside of everything, that's how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
            Journal, From Sick to Fit:


            • #36
              Good on you Marianne! I bask in the warm, loving glow of your can-do attitude! A 21 day challenge sounds lovely. Maybe not for me at the moment; but at some point in the future... (Im still a little gimpy what with the puking and the falling down and whatnot; plus the care for my injured MIL is about to step up as she is being released from rehab this week and the kids will need to parse out overnight gigs with her on the next two weeks or so time horizon...)

              I cant wait to hear about your next zumba experience. Here's what I tell all new zumba users: a) everybody messes up steps, even the instructors now and again... b) nobody knows or cares you've messed up steps unless you are the aforesaid instructor and you've just left a classroom of women scratching their heads mid-leap in the mirrors... hahaha c) first beat, then feet, then arms or turns... that means just move to the beat and watch the steps... you're still moving and grooving and you are taking time to absorb the movement around you... begin by mentally blocking out where the feet are going and let the rest of your body follow... add arm movements or turns after you are sure of the steps... trying to process it all at once can send the brain into short circuit, so take a deep breath and add one element at a time. If you've ever studied modern or jazz dance forms you will find that most of zumba happens in eight beat blocks. That can be a good way of organizing your learning. Once you begin to learn zumba dances, your ability to learn them faster and faster just increases, like how doing crosswords makes you faster at new crossword puzzles. I focus on my hips and my pelvic floor. That is one of my official 'happy places'. When my pelvic floor is properly engaged and I am hitting good hip isolations, I begin to feel relaxed and joyful. So dance from your pelvic floor and see if the happy juices don't get flowing....

              I do think you are on the right track just being an example to your young adult son. That's about all we can do... I'm not taking my young girls off in a primal direction overtly, but they are getting usually just a little bread or tortillas or pasta in an otherwise primal evening meal and I've noticed their school lunches are getting a lot less starchy as I have more primal alternatives on hand. Going at them head-on would just turn this whole thing into an ugly power struggle and I don't think its that dire if they don't have life threatening medical conditions or weight issues etc. Besides, it sounds like he has won the genetic lotto with those grandparents! I love how appreciative you are of having parents. I still have a dad -- he's young! I had teen parents! -- but I lost my mom, who had raised me alone, to pancreatic cancer the year she turned 59 and I turned 40. It remains one of the largest disappointments of my life. Being a single teen parent in a small town during the 60's and 70's was a gargantuan struggle on her part; I just assumed we would reap the benefits of that hard work enjoying a long old age together. And because my dad didn't raise me.... well, I love him... but more in an amusing uncle sort of way... you really have to be actively parented by someone to feel a true parental bond.

              Keep up your good work my dear. I enjoy your progress. xo L


              • #37
                Originally posted by primal4fifty View Post
                ... you really have to be actively parented by someone to feel a true parental bond.
                I definitely agree on this, sounds like you are doing it right with your girls and the primal stuff. Food power struggles with kids ought to be one of the rings of hell in Dante's inferno! I'm thinking that "actively parented" is just as much about being emotionally present/concerned about your kids as providing shoes, a roof, etc. So knowing when a struggle isn't worth it shows care and love way better than a heap o' stuff.

                And thanks for the Zumba tips--I love the idea of "beat before feet"! I will be sure to keep it in mind. I'm left-handed, and I believe that's contributed to my not always being in synch with the physical world lo these many years. But I think this Saturday will be my date with real Zumba destiny, and I'm just gonna' flail away and see what happens :-)
                My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


                • #38
                  A few notes on the 21-Day Primal Challenge thus far, then over and out. In keeping with the challenge I want to shut down all electronica early in the evening.

                  With just two days and a thorough re-read of the book under my belt, I'm glad I'm doing this. The book is mostly designed for folks who've never done anything primal before, but it's still a very good back-to-basics reminder.

                  I did a mini purge of my pantry yesterday. Happily, not too much to get rid of. The additional challenge around here is that The Husband is only reluctantly primal, but, like primal4fifty's approach with her kids, I know that forcing full primal on him would only backfire. So his few snack favorites got to stay. That's really okay with me because they are nothing I actually like that much :-) And for dinner tonight, he looked so pitiful when I said there wasn't going to be any carbs, I broke down and make him a little rice since I'd gotten rid of all the pasta. Call me an enabler if you will, but it worked for me since I'm never tempted by just plain rice. Risotto, of course, being a totally different story!

                  So, 48 hours of completely clean eating for me. I'm just as happy, if not more so, about keeping to a personal commitment as I am about the food itself.

                  I've also made sure to be up and about as much as possible, in addition to focused exercise time. When I did laundry yesterday (finally!), I went back and forth from the dryer putting away each piece of clothing individually. It was fun, even though all that pacing sort of freaked out the cat.

                  And I now have on order my very first pair of Vibram Five Fingers! I tried some on at our local runners' store and looooooved how they felt, but then got all girlie and decided I didn't like the color (the ones with the best fit were just too red for me). So by this time next week I will be happily wiggling my grey-shod toes for all the world to see!
                  My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


                  • #39
                    Way to go shutting down the electronica Marianne! My dirty lil struggle every evening... love to sit and zone out with my iPhone once everyone else is in bed...

                    Cant wait to hear more about the toesie shoes. They scare me a little I have to admit. Like wearing fetishist underwear in public or something: Not... Ready... To cop to it!! Hahahaha

                    You were a brave pantry purger too. I am still hanging on to the last bag of buckwheat taglietelle from Italy that I was able to buy before Traverso's closed here in Santa Rosa. I don't want to eat it myself; I just want to watch the looks of religious experience flit across the faces of my guests when it finally gets eaten. Food voyerism!! And I am encouraged at the thought of risotto... Everyone around here seems to think white rice is the cleanest and most inocuous of carbs, so once we are no longer chubs we will be able to tuck into a nice risotto with bone broth now and again, right?

                    Take care. Doing great! xoL


                    • #40
                      Just call me Pavlov’s dog. For years and years in my pre-primal life I was a scale junkie, and my daily morning routine was always: turn off alarm, step on scale. I knew it was a crazy-making thing to do, but at the same time it was nearly impossible to resist. Somehow I managed to convince myself that it was a healthy habit. Well, there’s a reason an addict’s behavior is referred to as a habit. And just like so many other druggies, I was in serious denial that there was a problem.

                      That damn scale had such power over me. (Hmmm, is there a 12-stepper in the house? I don’t know enough about such programs, but I think I just did one of the steps…) My rational mind would tell me that whatever I saw on the scale was just a number, no more no less, but my inner abuser was completely addicted to it. My whole sense of self would fly or crash depending on that number. There’s that saying about the definition of crazy: repeating the same action over and over, but expecting a different outcome. Yep, that was me.

                      So when I decided to go full-tilt primal a year ago, I also decided that for the sake of sanity I would focus on all sorts of other markers during the process and NOT the scale. I’m not saying it was easy. I had to put the scale in the far back corner of a crammed storage closet so I wouldn’t be tempted by it. Thank god I’m not one of those people with IKEA-perfect closets (do they really exist?) because some days it was only the overwhelming prospect of burrowing through that nasty barricade of old junk that kept me from a scale fix.

                      But it worked. I started feeling healthier, I gained muscle, better sleep, more energy, better mood, and lo and behold my clothes started to fit differently, too. This was change from within, not marked by an arbitrary outside measurement. What a difference! About three months ago, my husband decided he wanted to start weighing himself to see what progress he was making in his “primal-by-default” life. The scale came back out, but I’ve been able to keep away from it—mostly. When I do get on, there’s a new absence of emotion, neither good nor bad. What an incredible change!

                      Still, I had a sense during my post-holiday doldrums that the scale was calling to me a little more loudly, and I didn’t want to slip back into my old destructive habit. As part of my current 21-Day Challenge, I have re-committed to not weighing myself. Because ultimately—if I know I’m living truly primal and feeling great, who needs a number?
                      My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


                      • #41
                        Many years ago I ended a three week cycle of stepping on the scale -multiple times a day-! How crazy is that!? Of course I was going to gain weight in the time between breakfast and lunch. But my normally logical brain was overridden by my desire to see a change in *that* number. Then I would feel terrible and obsessive the rest of the day. One day, I'd had enough and took the scale out back and destroyed it, dumped it in the garbage can. I didn't own a scale in the years afterward, until last year. I am pleased that I don't get on it daily (let alone multiple times).

                        Marianne, I so enjoy reading your posts. Great writing style and sense of humor, thanks for keeping it real!
                        There's a crack inside of everything, that's how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
                        Journal, From Sick to Fit:


                        • #42
                          Great to hear all the anti-scale talk just as I decided to ditch mine too for the month. Thanks guys! xo L


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by GoLisaGo View Post
                            How crazy is that!?

                            my normally logical brain was overridden by my desire to see a change in *that* number. Then I would feel terrible and obsessive the rest of the day.
                            How crazy is that? Very, very :-) All my sympathies to fellow sufferers of our odd fixation. The override of our logical brains--if scientists aren't doing it already, there should be a special branch of research just for this wacky behavior. It's comforting at least to know that it's not just me. And hurray for anyone ditiching their scales -- one day at a time and hang in there!
                            My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


                            • #44
                              Today I was reminded that there’s always something new to learn, stuff to practice.

                              My husband and I went on a great hike in the hills above the SF East Bay. We scrambled all over for hours, and it was wonderful to be outside and feeling so healthy. We couldn’t stop commenting on how we would have never been doing this a year ago! But before we headed out we stopped for coffee, and that’s where the ol’ life lesson took place.

                              It was one of those coffee emporia with the big glass jars of mega cookies sitting right by the cash register, and when we ordered our drinks I jokingly commented to said husband that what I really wanted was one of the chocolate hockey puck cookies. Then, while I waited for my artfully crafted coffee to be hand-dripped by the be-pierced hipster of the day, I wandered over to the community bulletin board to catch up on the latest in guitar lessons, used hydroponic supplies, and poetry therapy. (Ah, Berkeley—bless your heart, some things never change.) I turned back to fetch my coffee and there was my dear guy with a big smile and a cookie in his hand. Without thinking, I broke off a chunk and popped it in my mouth faster than you can say, “Wait! What would Grok do???”

                              It was another stellar instance of bad habits dying hard. Let’s break it down. Party of the first part: after umpteen years of married life I still do not always communicate clearly. Poor man hadn’t really realized I was joking. Party of the second part: my inner Miss Nice still has a very hard time saying no to people, particularly when their actions spring from love. And finally – chocolate can still jump out and get at me when I least expect it. Oh, and bonus points: what’s the good thing about having a partner who is only semi-primal? You can catch yourself after a moment and oh so graciously give him the rest of the damn cookie!

                              So, lots of stuff to ponder from that little experience. Yes, it was definitely a slip up in the 21-Day Challenge clean eating plan. I need to be more conscious of all the non-primal food lurking outside my own kitchen—and practice wrapping my mouth around the word “No.” On the other hand, the win is that I am not taking a nose dive into the Giant Sea of Remorse the way I would have done prior to going primal. The slip happened, learn from it, and move on. Which is exactly what I’m going to do. We’ve got another excursion planned for all day Sunday when most folks will be glued to their couches, eating junk and watching the Superbowl. Football, schmootball, I’d rather be hiking.
                              My Journal 60 Is the New 40 (more musings, less stats) --


                              • #45
                                Great story Marianne... we seem to be exhibiting primal 'harem syndrome' cuz I struggled with mindlessly popping junk in my mouth today too! xo your pal L