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Life is about creating yourself. (Tricia)

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  • Life is about creating yourself. (Tricia)

    I figured this thread could use a little introduction, so here goes: I'm 29, going on 30 (ack!), trying hard to finally get my bachelor's degree before that, and then hopefully my master's the year after. To support my studying habit, I work in retail, which is great because studying is a very sedentary business. My life up to now has been a pretty wild ride, filled with bad lifestyle choices. I'm one of those people who's prone to pretty much any addiction that's ever been invented, starting out as a small child substituting love with chocolate, which developed into borderline boulemia when I was 13. Having been around the bend a few times, I'm glad to say I am now at a place where food is now again my only vice, as I have just given up smoking about 5 months ago (after 16 years) and am managing my anxiety issues with only a very small dose of SSRI's, that I would like to wean off in the near future. I've been overweight and unfit my whole life, with my years of substance abuse as a sad exception when I was losing weight by slowly destroying myself... But having seen what I have managed to overcome so far, I really do believe I can change this too, the healthy way this time!

    I had been thinking about starting another blog to hold myself accountable in 2012, but have always gotten cold feet due to the privacy issue. So what better place to show/hide myself than in this little niche of a community full of like-minded individuals? I may post a picture in the future (no real hurry in getting a 'before' picture, since nearly every picture taken of me ever can serve as a 'before' picture), but for now I'm still too scared... again, because of the privacy thing. Might be less scary if the forum required registration to view certain threads... Ah well, guess you'll all have to imagine my mug for now

    I'll definitely be posting some lengthy ramblings here, but at the moment my body is punishing me for all the slacking off I have done with a bad case of sinusitis, which is great for motivation on the one hand (feel that anger! use it!), but not so helpful for actually doing stuff

    I'll suffice for now with just formally stating my goals, and how I plan to go about achieving them.

    Goals:
    1. Obviously lean out. Definitely lose 20pounds, but more importantly build muscle, especially in my arms. Would love to be able to do pull-ups one day. Can't even manage 'girly' push-ups now.
    2. Get off the nicotine patches. I quit smoking on last July 24th and have managed my weight since then, but the last time I tried to come off the nicotine patches (in November) I had an entire week of almost ED-style binge eating that got so scary it ended with me actually lighting a cigarette again. Luckily that did NOT taste good, but since then I've been using those patches as teeny tiny security blankets...
    3. Get a kick ass immune system ŗ la my boyfriend who never ever gets sick. (he works outside all year long)
    4. Kick the SSRI's for good. I'm on a very small dose now, but same as with the nicotine patches; things go topsy turvy when I try to come off them.

    How I will do this:
    1. Absolutely no sugar whatsoever. No junk food. No grains. I added a column to my weight/fitness spreadsheet and will award myself a gold star for every day I manage this. Gotta give my inner child something when it's not getting any chocolate.
    2. Take long walks every day. Not so much a problem when I actually have to go places, but when I'm inside cramming for finals like I will be for the coming month, this tends to get overlooked.
    3. Lift heavy things (mainly myself). Will have to look around for tips on this. Like how many times should I repeat a movement to count as training? Can not afford gym membership but there's a pull-up bar in the park and also a jungle gym in the playground around the corner that we sometimes go and abuse when there are no kids around
    4. Sleep. This can not be overrated. But anyone who's ever tried to combine a full time college education with a part time job knows how easy it is to slack off in that department. Also: turn off all screens an hour before bed.

    Wow. That did turn out quite long-ish. Hope it wasn't boring! Time to turn to the books now, but I'm already excited knowing I have this little corner of the interwebs to track my progress to the new me!
    Last edited by Tricia; 01-14-2012, 03:43 AM. Reason: added a little introduction ;)
    Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
    When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

  • #2
    my first gold star!

    Got my first gold star yesterday, yay!
    Had only two meals, since I just eat when I'm hungry and when I'm at home, that isn't all that often.

    B/L: 2 eggs with half a green bell pepper and some bacon bits
    Dinner: Moussaka (yes I know that has potatoes in it, but I had to cut a deal with the boyfriend stating that potatoes and white rice are ok, or he would go on another cooking strike like the last time I went primal, and that was part of the reason I fell off the wagon)

    I stocked up on clementines because I'm a notorious after dinner snacker, but didn't 'need' them. I'm determined this time to be absolutely perfect!

    Still feeling under the weather, but the storm we've been having seems to have subsided, so I'm about to pop out for a walk and gathering some fresh produce for dinner tonight.
    Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
    When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

    Comment


    • #3
      Just popping in quickly to write down what I ate before I forget, hehe

      B: 3 tbsp of homemade muŽsli (just chop up a handful of every kind of nuts you find and add some dried apricots or coconut for flavour) and 4 heaping tbsp of full fat organic yoghurt
      L: bowl of broccoli soup
      afternoon snack: a handful of brazil nuts and two mini Babybel cheese
      D: my soon to be ready beef stew with lots of colourful vegetables \o/

      I still have the clementines for maybe later. I sure am feeling munchy today...
      Last edited by Tricia; 01-04-2012, 01:03 PM.
      Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
      When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome Tricia! Good luck. You deserve it.

        For what it's worth, I eat potatoes every day. I have great respect for Mark, but other smart ancestral diet gurus say they are fine. I have several rants about potatoes in my blog (below). Not trying to sabotage your primal plan. Just saying that they work very well for me.
        Ancestral Health Info

        I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

        Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey thanks Hedonist
          I don't feel too strongly about potatoes either, just that they shouldn't take the place of more nutritious food (by, say, making up an entire meal!). I try to eat them in moderation. Same with rice: I cooked up a little bit of Basmati rice yesterday for the boyfriend to have with my stew but it smelled so good I had a big tablespoon of it myself. Didn't look like very much on my big plate of stew

          I also found out that the tiny coconut cubes I bought yesterday that I was so excited about seem to be sweetened after all, even though it doesn't say so on the package. We both tasted one and thought they were suspiciously sweet. No fair! I still think I deserve a star for my day though, since I didn't mean to eat anything sweetened and I locked them away in a closet right after we reached our verdict. I like to think that's discipline

          I really have to be super strict on the sugar, though. Sometimes I think my brain's reward system has been so messed up so early in life, I'll always struggle with instantly gratifying stimuli like that. And it runs in the family. If you've ever seen my aunts at a tea (and cake!) party, you'll definitely agree with me that the only reason none of them ever got addicted to drugs is that they never went out to try them! Jokes aside, the other thing that runs in my family is diabetes, surprise, surprise. And I'm determined not to fall victim to that. Epigenetics is the word, yo!
          Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
          When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Tricia
            Originally posted by Tricia View Post
            I may post a picture in the future (no real hurry in getting a 'before' picture, since nearly every picture taken of me ever can serve as a 'before' picture), but for now I'm still too scared... again, because of the privacy thing. Might be less scary if the forum required registration to view certain threads... Ah well, guess you'll all have to imagine my mug for now
            If you upload your photo using MDA (through your Profile), only people who are signed in can see it. If you link it from another site (Flickr, etc.) everyone can see it. The only downside to using MDA is that the photos have to wait for moderator approval and that could take a couple of days. A linked photo is immediate.
            "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
            "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
            "Moderation sucks." Suse
            "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
            "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


            Winencandy

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            • #7
              Oh, thanks for the info!
              I'll keep that in mind when I have something that starts to resemble an 'after' or even 'during' photo
              Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
              When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

              Comment


              • #8
                Alright, could it be that coconut really is that sweet by itself? I found a carton of coconut milk at the bottom of my fridge, and upon opening it, found out that it had turned all thick and creamy, kind of like yoghurt. (I'm not sure whether it's supposed to do that - I don't think I've ever bought coconut milk before) Curious to check if it was still good, I tried it and *omg* it tasted like dessert!
                So instead of, I don't know, doing what a normal person might do, I figured two scoops of my ground nuts would make it taste even more like desert (it did) and ate like 3 big tablespoons worth while re-watching 'The Dark Knight' (I'd fallen asleep halfway through the last time) and musing about how much I would love to be more like Batman. I'm sure he doesn't have a dysfunctional relationship with everything made by Ben & Jerry's... I'm sure his idea of a 'workout' doesn't consist in trying to do push-ups on the staircase, failing, and then resorting to doing 2x10 push-ups on the bloody kitchen counter and calling it a day, then having trouble afterwards to blow dry his hair because his arms are tired. I mean wtf

                Ok. Step back. Even Batman wasn't built in a day and just because you've now tasted the sweetness of coconut doesn't mean you have to go into the closet and revisit those coconut cubes, because they probably were sweetened and because dessert doesn't own you. You are going to get back to that kitchen counter tomorrow and make it 3x10. Then you're going to find some other workout type things to do on breaks. Then you're going to go out and buy more fruit because you're not Batman and maybe you do deserve a little something after dinner. /breakdown

                Right. Back to the order of the day:

                B/L/ general eating during the day: 2 bowls of broccoli soup at my desk while studying
                D: zuccini 'pasta' with boursin cheese (man I love not being lactose intolerant!), more broccoli, bell peppers, onions, tomatoes and smoked salmon
                dessert: weird coconut cream invention
                midnight snack: leftover grated celery + potato salad + 2 slices of salami... sheesh.

                I still get a star. Technically.
                Last edited by Tricia; 01-06-2012, 03:40 AM. Reason: added in midnight snack
                Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yesterday's food log:
                  B/L: finished off the leftovers of my zuccini 'pasta' from the day before
                  snacks while studying: handful of brazil nuts, half an apple with some goat cheese, 1 clementine
                  dinner: steak with salad, broccoli and mushrooms and scallops for starters (courtesy of the boyfriend)
                  dessert: blueberries with coconut cream

                  resisted temptation: my sister's homemade almond muffins (plain flour muffins with an almond on top) that she brought as she's staying here for a week or so. Luckily she understands, so it wasn't a very big deal. The boyfriend seems a lot more supportive than he was the last time around. Maybe he understands I'm serious this time

                  exercise: 30min evening walk, tried out some more strength movements to add to dailies, nothing too fancy.

                  cravings: horrible. I'm hoping this will get better once I'm a week or so in. I had a dream about buying all the different kinds of pies in a bakery and then not getting to eat any. During the day I'm fine, and my primal snacks are great, but at night - that's a whole different story and all I can think of is SUGAR. Not good
                  Last edited by Tricia; 01-07-2012, 04:53 AM. Reason: added some whining ;-)
                  Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                  When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yesterday's food log:
                    B/L: 2 eggs over 2 slices of bacon. It's absolutely amazing how long this keeps me satisfied.
                    dinner: 2 oopsie-burgers with some nice organic burger meat and lots of colourful veggies. (I'm not considering oopsie-rolls to be primal, more like a cheat/treat that technically is allowed by the rules I set. Thankfully they are a hassle to make and also not addictive like some other treats, so I don't have them all too often)
                    late night snack: two clementines

                    exercise: went grocery shopping on foot as my bicycle is simply falling apart and needs to get in for repairs asap - so we used it as a mule

                    cravings: getting better

                    weight lost so far: exactly 1kg (= about two pounds) - man I forgot how EASY those first ones come off... Primal rules!
                    Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                    When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Food log:
                      Lunch: kickass salad of awesome (ie salad with everything that kicks salad up a notch; bacon, cheese, pumpkin seeds, bits of apple and fresh chives)
                      Dinner: the best roast chicken in the world with more salad, tomatoes and shredded carrots. I always make the chicken so spicy I can barely take it and then combine each bite with a fresh mouthful of salad. Heaven
                      Dessert(s): bowl of blackberries with a dot of mascarpone, 2 clementines

                      Resisted Temptation:
                      Nothing, really, but I really think I ought to opt for just the one dessert, even if it's 'just' fruit. It's obvious that during the day I only eat because and when I'm hungry, but at night, something else enters into play. Not sure if it's boredom, because I'm not really bored. Maybe force of habit?

                      Exercise:
                      Took all the initial tests from this site, because it looks like fun to focus on just those 4 moves for now, especially when I can do them on study breaks without having to get all sweaty and needing a change of clothes. I rated 'poor' on all of them except for the squats, and now I can't sit down or come down stairs without being in horrible pain and looking like an old lady. Go figure

                      Dips: 17
                      Situps: 17
                      Squats: 40
                      Pushups (on 4th step of stairs): 15
                      Last edited by Tricia; 01-09-2012, 03:04 AM. Reason: grammar! :)
                      Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                      When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hah, a good can of coconut milk is quite a surprise isn't it? I don't know why, but when I was in Virginia, the Thai Kitchen coconut creme I would buy at Whole Foods was soooo smooth, creamy and delicious. I would put a little bit of stevia in it and call it a dessert ... or ... when it was a really hard day and I didn't feel like cooking anything, I would just make a can my dinner. It hardly has any carbs, but I don't think that means the calories should be completely discounted if you've been sitting around studying and working all day either. I continued losing weight during that time, though, so I'm still not sure if it was a bad habit or a good habit yet. Unfortunately, I'm back in California, and for some reason, none of the coconut milk brands have as good a texture! Not even Thai Kitchen. Also, I don't know if you've researched Candida or yeast overgrowth in the intestines, but coconut products are supposed to help you fight the overgrowth. All in all, I don't think eating coconut milk on its own is the dirtiest of deeds. It's so fattening, it's hard to overeat it.
                        Starting weight: 225
                        Current weight: 195
                        Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                        Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                        My Primal Journey


                        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods

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                        • #13
                          So true about the coconut milk

                          Yesterday and today I have been in pain. Serves me right for not stretching after doing all those squats, that now I've got the worst case of the DOMS. I figured yesterday afternoon that a long, slow paced walk might loosen things up and it did, for a while, as I was walking. But at night after I'd been sitting for another while, it just made things worse :-s It's been a great source of amusement to my current house mates that I can barely move my legs, but less so to myself. I want to get to training! Not having to come down the stairs on my bum.

                          Food log:
                          B/L: 2 fried eggs with 1 slice of bacon
                          afternoon snack: some of my primal nut muŽsli and yoghurt
                          dinner: huge bowl of salad (I have it out of a serving bowl, hehe) with cut up tomatoes, smoked salmon and my home made cocktail sauce
                          dessert: 2 clementines (seems I'm on a clementine diet, right? I can't help it, they're so sweet and convenient!)

                          Resisted temptation:
                          Both my boyfriend and my sister (who is sort of living with us during winter exam month) each decided to get french fries and kebab from the shop at two separate times last night and eat them in front of me. So I had to sit through two fast food meals without having any, as I couldn't be bothered to get up from the couch due to my legs hurting. Then my boyfriend has the courtesy to offer me a chicken finger. I almost offered him a different kind of finger, but I'm trying to demonstrate how zen and level headed this diet is making me so...

                          I think I'm going for the 30 day challenge here, 30 days of being perfect according to my rules, and then after that I can cheat with one thing (that I get to decide on for the next 23 days or so), after which I would probably go for another 30 days. It would coincide nicely with the day of my final exam this winter, so I could celebrate with something. What to choose, what to choose...

                          Exercise:
                          Walked about 3km (about 2 miles) down to campus and then took a bus back because my legs hurt.
                          Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                          When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Food Log:
                            B/L: ground nut muŽsli with yoghurt
                            study snack: a big piece of aged cheese
                            dinner: tried to make a paleo hacked lasagna by substituting zuccini slices for the pasta, but it came out a watery mess
                            extra: 1 clementine, 1 pear, more of my ground nuts with coconut cream. oh dear...

                            Cravings:
                            Pretty bad again. Especially since after two plates of my lasagna concoction with salad, I still didn't feel full. Probably need to make sure I get enough fat and protein during the day. I thought the cheese would have covered that, but apparently not.

                            Exercise:
                            Absolutely nothing! Will compensate with an extra long walk today.
                            Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                            When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Today was an exam day, so my log may be a little weird. I didn't feel like eating in the morning (hardly ever do) but I knew I needed something to keep me going so I boiled 2 eggs, quickly ate one, and packed the other so I could eat it after my walk to campus (I always have to do things before I get hungry, but then it's suddenly there!) I think I did ok on the exam, so afterwards I decided I deserved a treat so I went down to the local health food store and got a little bottle of pomegranate juice. No added sugar, mind, but it tasted so sweet it was almost like alcohol (or syrup?). I went back to campus to pick up my sister, went grocery shopping and then took a long nap when I got home. Afterwards I snacked on some cold turkey (no pun intended ) and clementines, and had 2 glasses of milk because I was craving it for some reason (?), did some chores, took a long shower with the awesome shower gel & body lotion I got for X-mass (I save it for when I feel I deserve a reward - I'm trying to find other rewards for my senses that are not food) and am sitting down now (at 10pm) to a big ass salad with salmon and home made cocktail sauce. Doesn't seem to add up to all that much, though I still feel like I've been stuffing myself all day. Weird. Must be all the protein? I almost forced myself to make a salad to get some veggies in there. Ah well
                              Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. ---George Bernard Shaw
                              When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

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