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Primal Journal--Ayah (Randi)

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  • Primal Journal--Ayah (Randi)

    I started PB on May 31, 2011, and was off of it by July 4. In between those dates I had a pizza day or six, but I still felt the effects of the diet. I've wanted to be faithful to it ever since, but I've allowed life and laziness to get in the way. There were several false starts, but my best friend and I decided that on January 1 we were starting for real and not going off the diet. No more pizza days.

    There are certain times when I won't be pure. For example, no matter how hard I try I simply can't make mayonnaise. I just can't. It isn't something I eat much anyway, but when it is needed, it is needed. So when it comes time to eat something that requires mayonnaise, I'm just going to eat the store-bought stuff. I will also go pretty easy on myself when it comes to rice-, quinoa-, bean-, and potato-consumption. Most of that I really don't eat anyway, and I'm going to cut back as much as possible, but I'm not cutting them out up front--and they will be the very first things to go if I am not losing weight. Furthermore, on Shabbas I have matzo ball soup and challah with my family. I will limit my intake to the required olive-sized bite of challah (which I'll try to make gluten free) and one matzo ball, which isn't too bad and is definitely better than what I ate before. Once again, if this proves to be a problem, I will adjust accordingly.

    All of that means that I'm not strictly Primal, I guess. I just don't want to try to do everything and fail (like I did last time).

    I currently weigh 162. Theoretically, I want to lose 32 pounds to get to 130, which is my pre-baby weight plus the 5 pounds per baby that you supposedly can never lose. Plus, my husband thought I looked too skinny at 120. That is the goal that I would have had I not tried this diet before. Also, I really want to add about 10 pounds of muscle. I figure that puts my ideal goal right around 140. Ultimately, my actual weight isn't nearly as important as how I look and feel, but it is the most easily measurable thing. When I get where I want to be, I'll know it even if I am over or under the targeted 140.

    DIET: Obviously, Primal Blueprint. I hired someone to help me get a menu and grocery list put together each payday. She doesn't know much about PB (which is part of the reason I'm not going to freak out if she includes beans or potatoes in a recipe at first), but her first 2 week plan is pretty great. I'm also going to start making my cholent with sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes.

    FITNESS: I'm going to start by completing my NFL Training Camp 60 Day Challenge. I'm also going to work my way through my 100 push ups, 200 sit ups, and 200 squats apps. Plus, I have an exercise bike that I want to build up my time on. I don't have anything written out yet as far as scheduling goes.

    PARTNERSHIPS: My daughter and best friend are all in with me. My husband has turned his diet over to me, but he has no real feelings on the subject so I'm sure he will "cheat". Plus, he'll let me if I ever want to. I'm counting my Bree & Dawn to keep that from happening. My son is learning everything he needs to know, but I'm not forcing myself on him. I figure if he knows, he'll know what to do later. He'll also have to eat with me more often than not, which puts him pretty firmly in the PB universe.

  • #2
    DAY 1:

    B: Eggs, Bacon, Coffee
    L: Jimmy Johns Beach Club unwich w/ extra alfalfa sprouts and 1/2 mayonaise
    D: Kilbalsa & Cabbage

    WOD: None

    DAY 2:

    B: Skipped, Coffee
    L: Jimmy Johns Beach Club unwich
    D: Sushi w/ tamari
    S: V8 mixed w/ green drink.

    WOD: An insane amount of grocery shopping... totally counts, right?!?!
    Last edited by Ayah; 01-02-2012, 07:36 PM.


    • #3
      DAY 3:

      B: 2 scrambled eggs w/ stir fry veggies, coffee
      L: Skipped
      D: Salmon packet w/ capers & lemon, romaine salad w/ olives, sesame seeds, almonds, olives, feta, and tahini dressing
      S: Undetermined... maybe some apple sauce

      I keep thinking about Shabbas. I don't want to bite that bread. I just don't want to. I think I won't. It's weird because it's a religious thing, you know? I feel like I should, but I'm doing so good... I don't want to. The prayer is actually for wheat. Maybe it is wheat or nothing, in which case I will just skip it.

      Tomorrow a friend is coming over to teach me how to make potato leek soup. I'm going to workout in the morning so I can use the soup as a recovery food. In addition to being a great cook, Jen has a gym in her basement. She and I are going to figure out a plan over lunch, which I'm pretty excited about.

      I weighed myself today and I'm ahead of my goal.


      • #4
        My weekly weight loss goal...

        The 1-2 pounds per week thing is absolute bullshit. I have no real science to back this up, just good old fashioned logic. It has to be percentages of weight loss. 1 pound is a lot more to me than it is to Ruby, for example. I read somewhere that you can safely lose 1% of your weight per week. That makes much more sense. That said, I don't want to set goals that make me want to kill myself when I weigh in. 1% is what I can lose. .5% is my goal each week. That is going to be slightly less than a pound/week.

        My best friend, Dawn, and I thought it would be totally fun to make large, brightly-colored weight charts that we decorated with glitter pens. That is a weird way for a couple 30-somethings to spend the first day of the new year. Whatever. It was fun, and there is no age limit on fun. Maybe on glitter pens, but it wasn't written on the box so screw it. We wrote the dates of our weigh-ins down one column, left a column for our goal weight (selected the Friday before the date), and one for our actual weight (to be written on Fridays at about 5 AM). I decided to lay out my goal weights for the next 4 months basing it on that .5% each week. Dawn told me that was a bad idea. She will be writing next week's goal the week prior, like a normal person. I wanted to watch myself kick my goal's ass. When it was all laid out, I ended up with an over-all 4-month weight loss goal of about 12 pounds. It isn't much, but I've done this before so I know that Grok's 12 pounds are much more drastic than CW's 12 pounds. Either way, when I wanted to lose 1-2 pounds a week and I only lost .37 that week it made me want to quit. I'd rather lose 12 pounds in 4 months than end up frustrated and off the diet again.

        I say all that to say this: I stepped on the scale this morning... Apparently, it is February 17. Man, time sure does fly.

        I don't want to get caught up in this idea that I can lose like that each week, because it is obviously going to slow a bit. Still, it feels pretty good to know that there is a chance I will meet my goal well before I thought I would.


        • #5
          Day 4

          B: 2 Poached eggs w/ feta, coffee
          L: Skipped
          D: Green Chili Turkey Soup on a potato

          WOD: EA Sports NFL Training Camp


          • #6
            Hi Ayah, just to share my own primal experience (last time around, when I first started losing weight) ... I would go for weeks without losing even 0.2 lbs, then in 2 days lose 5 lbs. Then stay the same for weeks again. but over the course of 8 months I lost 40 lbs. So... don't get too frustrated if you don't appear to be losing weight consistently, sometimes that's just not how it works!



            • #7
              Thanks, Mik. I really appreciate your encouragement.


              • #8
                DAY 5

                B: Eggs & Sausage
                L: Skipped
                D: Fritatta (Unpleasant. I didn't eat much.)
                WOD: Yoga, Bike 11 min.

                DAY 6:
                B: Eggs & Veggies w/ tamari, coffee
                L: Skipped
                S: Walnuts & Pine nuts in butter w/ honey
                D: Kilbalsa & Cabbage, Moscato
                S: 1/2 Peach baked w/ goat cheese, pine nuts & honey
                WOD: 23 Sit Ups, 28 Squats, 36 Push Ups

                DAY 7:
                B: Eggs & Veggies w/ Tamari, Coffee
                L: Skipped
                D: Salad w/ cheese, bacon, & ranch. Cucumbers w/ artichoke dip. Bacon wrapped ahi. Loaded baked potato. Moscato.
                S: Leftover peach.
                S: Walnuts & pine nuts in butter (Primal Popcorn)

                DAY 8
                B: Lox & cream cheese w/ capers, coffee
                S: Primal Popcorn w/ honey
                D: Flank Steak w/ smashed potatos
                WOD: NFL Training Camp

                DAY 9:
                B: Scrambled eggs w/ Feta, Coffee
                L: Skipped
                D: Swt. Potato w/ black bean chili
                WOD: NFL Training Camp


                • #9
                  Looking at my food journal for the passed couple days, I realize that I'm taking in a lot of "okay" foods. The one thing I must say is that there have been meals when I felt I needed bread, but used potato instead. I think that was a really good choice. Still, I need to start reigning those things in. Especially since the black bean chili didn't sit well.

                  My weight is still dropping, and my energy level has skyrocketed. I've even worked out at 7 AM which is a huge change for me. I've also decided to register for the Warrior Dash in June. This is the first time that I've felt as though I really could get trained and ready for an event like that. I'm loving working out and experimenting with different exercises. It's a lot of fun!


                  • #10
                    Do you have any recommendations for places to buy local meat or organic veg? I've found lots of places that have some foods I like, but nobody has everything.
                    Naturally Yours Grocery is great, but not cheap. They have local eggs, pork, and beef. I also found fish sauce and macadamia nuts here. Couldn't find them anywhere else.
                    Pottstown Meat and Deli has grass finished beef and Amish turkeys.
                    I get a lot of fresh & frozen organic stuff at Shnucks on University.
                    And The Fresh Market has some good produce, duck fat, and clarified butter.
                    Kroger has great spices, and ground lamb, and the one on Knoxville has decent organic produce, but I don't drive up there very often.

                    I think that pretty much covers the stores that I go to the most.
                    When I first started eating primal I didn't worry about local and organic food, it was hard enough to avoid sugar, but once I started trying organic and local products I noticed how much better they taste. I still do whatever is most convenient though. I'm not about to stop off at three different places to get groceries for dinner! It's 2012 dammit. Plus I'm not that great of a cook, so if I'm going to burn the hard-boiled eggs I'll feel better about it if they were just cheap wal-mart eggs.
                    Last edited by Sketcha; 01-17-2012, 07:52 PM.


                    • #11
                      That pretty much covers where I go also. I'm don't buy organic meat yet. The best choice (imho) is to get a freezer and go to a butcher where you can get local meat. I'm still working on that, but I have friends who do it so I can get you the name of a good place. I know there is one that isn't certified organic b/c he's a small, local farm and the certifications are expensive, but his meat is organic and grass fed. Like I said, you'd want a freezer, though, because you can buy bulk meat which saves a ton of money.

                      Another option for more "single serving" type of purchases is to call the Jewish Federation and get in on the Kosher Co-Op. (Home « Jewish Federation of Peoria) They order once a quarter (so you'll need that freezer). Kosher food isn't necessarily certified organic, but in order for the meat to be certified kosher the animal has to eat what it is supposed to eat and live in a way that would have been pleasant for him. Plus, they have to die in the least painful way possible and there are certain cleanliness standards that must be upheld. It is part of the believed responsibility of the Jews to give our food a certain amount of respect, so that is how it must be done. There isn't much kosher meat in the local stores, but you don't have to be Jewish to go through the Federation. In fact, they would be thrilled to have you order through them. Just don't ask for pork or shellfish.

                      As for veggies, I don't buy organic. For a vegetable to be organic just means that they use organic pesticides. Organic pesticides will kill you just as quickly--if not more so--than synthetic pesticides, so rather than spend the extra cash I just wash my veggies. Blind taste tests have proven that there is no flavor difference between organic and non-organic vegetables. I'm more concerned about local than organic. Unfortunately, this isn't the time of year for the farmer's market, but when the time comes there are some really great one's on the other side of the river. Until then, I've heard good things about Aldi's and the Kroger by my house. The only thing I know for sure is that the produce at Sams and Wal Mart is truly awful. I won't buy it.

                      Now for the bigger problem: cooking. I am not a very good cook. Or, I wasn't. Then a friend of mine opened a business called Melissa's Food Affair. (Home) Brian was pissed the first time I used her service, but he has come to really appreciate it. I told her the rules, and she put together a menu. Included in the rules was the fact that I can't cook worth a damn. She sits down with me every two weeks, goes over the menu, makes sure I know what all the ingredients are, tells me how to do certain things, and writes a grocery list for me. And it doesn't cost me much at all. There is also the option where she does all the shopping and cooking and you end up with a freezer full of home cooked meals that you just heat up. That is more expensive. I want to learn how to cook, so I don't do that. I recommend that you call her and ask her to put together a 2 week plan for you. Give her a shot. Brian is now convinced that I CAN cook and he is singing Melissa's praises every chance he gets.


                      • #12
                        This one is a "Dear Diary" style entry...

                        Things have been pretty tough this past week. There is some pretty serious unpleasantness happening in my life. I can't really discuss that, but I can discuss the effect it is having. The short version is that everything I cared about two weeks ago just seems stupid now. I wanted to register for the Warrior Dash so I could have something fun to focus on, but races seem very inconsequential. I just can't make myself get excited.

                        I'm very proud of myself that I've stayed (mostly) primal during this upheaval. I did have nachos and french fries the other day, and I'm drinking a lot of wine. Unfortunately, by "wine" I mean moscato as opposed to a dry red, so my sugar consumption is up. I also had sushi, but--until I learn to roll my own--sushi is a necessary evil in my life and the only thing I'm willing to use my 80/20 on.... doesn't count. Anyway, other than a few slip ups and becoming a lush, I'm doing well on my diet.

                        That said, exercising is hard. It is hard to peel myself off the couch, much less actually move. My kids forced me to go skating, which was helpful. I did sit with my nachos pouting for a while, but once they started playing Double Dutch Bus (the real one, not that Raven Symone bullshit), I had no choice but to get my skate on. I promised them we'd go back this week, but that is the only exercise I'm getting. When I spend the entire day alone, I mostly just sit here staring out the window and drinking wine. After noon, of course. I'm not THAT much of a lush... yet.

                        My weight has not changed since my Friday weigh-in. I'm assuming that is because of the wine, nachos, and lack of exercise. I have this Getting Fit with Netflix thing happening on my blog, which is getting me off my ass about once a week. The rest of the time I'm supposed to be doing EA Sports NFL Training Camp for the Wii, but since I'm not accountable to anyone, and I don't feel like doing it, I'm basically just not doing it.

                        This is not a "rub some dirt on it" kind of issue. I have no choice but to suffer through it. There is no mindset that will make it go away. So, barring that, how do I find the want-to to get up and do it? Has anyone had to do this before? What did you do?
                        Last edited by Ayah; 01-18-2012, 07:36 AM.


                        • #13
                          Well, it's been a while... and (as you can see from my ticker) I've gained quite a bit of weight. My last post put me at 145, now I'm at 167. It's been a long year so far. Not a good one.

                          In January my sister told me that my dad was dying. He apparently was told by his doctor that his cancer had returned and he had 9 months to live. He didn't want her to tell me, so I went on pretending I didn't know. Meanwhile, he went on acting totally normal to me and told my sister that the doctor had been wrong. We didn't believe him, but he was acting normal... we just weren't sure what to think. That was the world I was living in at my last entry.

                          I continued with my diet pretty well. Didn't exercise much, but I never had. In the beginning of April I went to visit my dad, and he told me the truth of the situation. He was ill, running out of time fast, and no one could do anything about it. I started comforting myself with biscuits and such fairly often, but I was mostly doing well... considering.

                          Around the middle of April my dad became less available to talk on the phone, so my sister and I went to Florida to stay with him. I helped take care of him and stayed with him in Hospice until he died on May 25. After that it there was the funeral and subsequent depression. During my time in Florida I ate whatever people would give me, so my diet was a disaster. After I got home, getting out of bed and cooking was just impossible... emotionally speaking. I kept thinking it would get better, but it seems to be getting worse.

                          On top of all that, I'm selling my house. Cooking creates odors and messes that could effect showings, so we are eating out. At first we were eating decent food, but as money started to thin the fare went downhill. I'm feeling downright terrible, and I don't really know how to fix it. I mean, I do know, but it is very hard to do right now.

                          So... that's that.