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  • #46
    Although many people seem to not take this so seriously...I found it kind of shocking that a lot of the aspects of orthorexia fit the way I felt towards food. I can't seem to keep this primal/paleo thing up. I stress too much over it. I struggle with finding recipes I like because everything I want lies within the 'off limits'. I only gravitated toward this because it seemed simple but it almost feels like more work than what it's worth.

    All I want is to eat and enjoy my food and have it nourish me without me always wondering if I'm getting the right levels of this or that or making sure something is gluten free or whatever.

    Still, my bouts of IBS have made things difficult. Sometimes I can't eat anything without an attack (even with medication.) I think because of the fear I have for the intense pain and the embarrassment it all causes me, I find that I'm afraid to eat because I may get a reaction. I think I should get tested for food sensitivities so that I know for sure if there is something I should avoid or not.
    Last edited by Byakko; 01-21-2012, 01:04 AM.
    F|26yr|5'3"
    1st Start: 8.25.12
    SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
    HW: 195

    Comment


    • #47
      Alrighty so it's been a while since I posted.
      Since then I've really fallen off the wagon.

      However, last Friday I finally saw myself a nutritionist who I hope will set me on a path to better eating and a healthier digestive system. Not to seem hardheaded but it appears that many of you all on this forum were right when you said to try an elimination diet. Because that is exactly what I'm having to do. No, grains, dairy, rice, bananas or apples. She did allow me to have fruit juice, beans and Ezekiel bread only but I thought I'd take this opportunity to completely cut those things out (except the juice, but I am limiting it.)

      What I was left with was the framework for primal/paleo eating. She also has me taking probiotics and triphala for digestive aid. We'll see how that works but at least it's natural. (Bloody huge pills though).

      So today was my first day avoiding those things. Breakfast and Lunch could have been better in terms of being well rounded. All I had was juice and protein. But dinner was filled with london broil and seasoned kale. Snacks included dark chocolate (but it does contain milk) a handful of almonds and a nice large orange.

      Unfortunately I'm still craving like mad. I'm starting to get a headache (though I'm not sure if it's from cravings.) For two weeks I have to keep up this way of eating. Not sure if that's enough time to really determine if I'll benefit.

      Atm I'm looking for some quick primal/paleo sauces, dips and dressings.
      F|26yr|5'3"
      1st Start: 8.25.12
      SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
      HW: 195

      Comment


      • #48
        Back again...trying to get back on the wagon.

        Apparently the nutritionist just didn't work out, which left me feeling very disappointed. While her focus was to heal my IBS she seemed to neglect my nutrition which to me is still very important. I hate feeling so restricted with eating but I need some one to help me figure out how to make my eating more well rounded. Since I last updated I'm down to 156 lbs but I'm not too enthusiastic about it. I haven't exercised and I've gone back to binging on unhealthy things so unfortunately I think I lost muscle and not fat.

        I'm also just not feeling well period. Same old stomach problems, weakness, and all that horrible stuff. I am always inspired to see the success stories and successes in the making. Unless I just have some underlying issue that can't be solved with diet and exercise alone I want to do this. That said, I'd like to get some things straight.

        How much protein, fat and carbs should I have daily?
        I thought one of the perks for this diet was not having to measure and keep track of things, but if I must do this to insure I get nutrition and lose weight then I will.

        I think I'll stick with the 50-100g of carbs daily since that seems to help aid in switching from sugar to fat burning. But protein and fats confuse me a little. One site said my body fat percentage was 32% but I have no idea if that's right. I'm not one of the die-hard health nuts so I don't know the best way of going about this. I just want to be fit and healthy. I think I am also going to try FODMAPS which is ultra restrictive. Either way I have to eliminate some things and see what works.

        I have a bad feeling the urge to binge will come back with a vengeance. I've become a Kool-Aid fiend, something I hadn't had in years and was proud that I never craved it. But now that fruit juice seems to upset my stomach it's like I've fallen back on wanting some kind of flavored beverage (tea and coffee don't do it for me) but if I can beat a soda habit I feel like I can do this too.

        Here's a sort of update on what has been going on with me.

        -I've become a little more open to cooking now (though in some cases still unsure.) I've learned to make sweet potato "fries" and they taste good but I'm starting to think I need to let that be an occasional treat. They may or may not cause IBS symptoms if I over do it so I'll have to see. But easy to make and tasty and frankly found out I like sweet potato when seasoned well.

        -AppleGate Farms hot dogs are very good to have on hand. I know they're not the ideal examples of primal protein (still not locally available though) but they're better than some. I may also try Hormel's turkey slices since they are nitrate free. I'd love to get organic grass fed meats but I have to be realistic. I'm not big on beef.

        -I love dark chocolate but I think I should just stay away from it for a while. It could be helpful with dealing with sweet cravings but maybe I need to just toughen up and not "cheat" on even the paleo/primal approved treats.

        -I'm starting to really appreciate the power of prepping...or pre-prepping. Since I've gotten better at cutting vegetables I don't think too much of having a go at them after dinner or if I'm feeling bored. Great for salads. Assembling is easy and fun.

        -It's worth it to look into growing your own plants, whether it's veggies or herbs. I've successfully and easily regenerated spring onions that help zazz up my scrambled eggs. I hope to try something similar with bok choy (celery also works but I find it too strong for my tastes at times.) I think I got a solid month out of my spring onions before they started wilting. Hadn't even used them every day.

        -Tried daikon. That day I felt sort of sick but I have no idea if the daikon had anything to do with it. BUT at least I know Kroger has them if I ever want to try again. I've never had any kind of radish so it was a new experience.

        -I have a love/hate relationship with searching for recipes. I admit to not wanting to put in a lot of work when cooking but I'll eat a boot if it's flavorful.

        -I have to strive not to let fruit become the thing that takes the place of my vices. 1 or 2 servings of fruit should be the limit. And I know when I start to crave fruit that it's just cravings for sugar. I shouldn't be eating dinner but thinking about how quickly I can get to my "dessert".

        -I'm going to try practicing mindful eating. I don't gulp down food as much as my dad but I still need to take my time.

        -Yoga. If nothing else, yoga! I sit far too much and I need to at least stretch my body so it won't be stiff.

        -I've been exploring going barefoot but it hasn't been easy. Instead of my hiking Merrells, I've been wearing a pair of Keds. I still have foot pain and am always confused about how to walk (not run, walk). I just want my plantar fasciitis to go away!
        Last edited by Byakko; 06-13-2012, 09:25 PM.
        F|26yr|5'3"
        1st Start: 8.25.12
        SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
        HW: 195

        Comment


        • #49
          Bmelet with two eggs and cup of spinach, salt, pepper, and bits of spring onion
          -tried to eat mindfully but I probably need to eat earlier *woke up real late*
          F|26yr|5'3"
          1st Start: 8.25.12
          SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
          HW: 195

          Comment


          • #50
            ....Okay. Today was terrible in terms of eating...

            First chance I get I'm ditching the Udi's gluten free bread. I somehow talked myself into thinking once I finished this loaf I'll never touch grains again but I should have just left it alone. That stupid "just one bite" mentality is a killer.

            I really like eggs with spinach and it's a good way to work in veggies. I'd be nice if someone would comment though and tell me how to go about making sure I get enough of everything so I don't feel hungry and likely to cheat. I'm still not in a situation where I can avoid temptation.

            I helped do some yard work today and I'm sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow but that's probably the most active I've been in a while. ><
            F|26yr|5'3"
            1st Start: 8.25.12
            SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
            HW: 195

            Comment


            • #51
              White tiger - I've been reading your jounal and want to tell you how glad I am for you that you keep trying even though you have "fallen off the wagon" many times. It is so hard to change a life time of learned habits and along with the stress problems you are experiencing, I bet things seem too much to handle at times. Just keep working at it!

              One thing that has helped me is to consider foods that cause me problems a poison. Would you eat rat poison for fun? Probably not and some foods are just as damaging to some of us. I used to be in constant pain, curled in a ball on the couch and trying to take care of a 2 yr old (I'm a SAHM), teenager, hubby, chickens and dogs. It was all I could do to keep them fed some days. I was taking more than the max dose of Ibuprophen and needed narcotics to sleep. Many days I added alchohol to the mix just to get some relief. A very dangerous mix. The Dr said a "special diet" would not help and handed me more narcotics. My brother asked me to google nightshades and arthritis for him one day as someone suggested he look into it. Many of these stories sounded like me (I have RA,OA and possibly fibromyalgia). I avoided tomato, potato, peppers and eggplant (nightshades) and within a week was so much better. About 8 months later, a friend suggested I try primal/paleo and so I avoided all grains and legumes as well - more amazing improvemnets.

              While your body has different problems than mine does, I bet that the underlying causes are similar - our gut. It takes time to heal the damage done by years of eating the wrong stuff that our immune system is going crazy over. Try to figure out your worst problem foods and avoid them like the plague. Other foods like dark chocolate or maybe even kool-aid may not be the best for you, but if they help you avoid the worst stuff, then use them as needed. A good dark chocolate (like lindt 90%) is so yummy so enjoy - I feel it is actually good for me but YMMV.

              Most of all, just keep trying to "fail better". We all mis-step at times. Don't accept your "lazy excuses" when you don't want to cook what will feed you body - you are stronger than that - I know this because you just keep trying and coming back again and again. Seek out more stories from others with IBS that have cured themselves to give yourself the motivation to make the hard choices.

              Comment


              • #52
                Originally posted by Mud Flinger View Post
                White tiger - I've been reading your jounal and want to tell you how glad I am for you that you keep trying even though you have "fallen off the wagon" many times. It is so hard to change a life time of learned habits and along with the stress problems you are experiencing, I bet things seem too much to handle at times. Just keep working at it!

                One thing that has helped me is to consider foods that cause me problems a poison. Would you eat rat poison for fun? Probably not and some foods are just as damaging to some of us. I used to be in constant pain, curled in a ball on the couch and trying to take care of a 2 yr old (I'm a SAHM), teenager, hubby, chickens and dogs. It was all I could do to keep them fed some days. I was taking more than the max dose of Ibuprophen and needed narcotics to sleep. Many days I added alchohol to the mix just to get some relief. A very dangerous mix. The Dr said a "special diet" would not help and handed me more narcotics. My brother asked me to google nightshades and arthritis for him one day as someone suggested he look into it. Many of these stories sounded like me (I have RA,OA and possibly fibromyalgia). I avoided tomato, potato, peppers and eggplant (nightshades) and within a week was so much better. About 8 months later, a friend suggested I try primal/paleo and so I avoided all grains and legumes as well - more amazing improvemnets.

                While your body has different problems than mine does, I bet that the underlying causes are similar - our gut. It takes time to heal the damage done by years of eating the wrong stuff that our immune system is going crazy over. Try to figure out your worst problem foods and avoid them like the plague. Other foods like dark chocolate or maybe even kool-aid may not be the best for you, but if they help you avoid the worst stuff, then use them as needed. A good dark chocolate (like lindt 90%) is so yummy so enjoy - I feel it is actually good for me but YMMV.

                Most of all, just keep trying to "fail better". We all mis-step at times. Don't accept your "lazy excuses" when you don't want to cook what will feed you body - you are stronger than that - I know this because you just keep trying and coming back again and again. Seek out more stories from others with IBS that have cured themselves to give yourself the motivation to make the hard choices.
                Hi Mud Flinger. I'm a little ashamed to show my face after I basically didn't report back because "big surprise" I feel off yet again. Again the cause (ie. excuse) was lack of planning.

                But as of today I'm starting anew. I am focusing more on avoiding the foods that are bad instead of obsessing over the foods I need to eat. It's true that having a good basic plan for eating is important but I basically let perfect get in the way of improvement. I wanted to have a perfect primal meal plan but I don't. And so I just quit until I could figure out what to do. That obviously is not the right approach and I have finally learned that even if I can't afford quality food or I don't have access to it, even conventional foods are better than grains, sugar and processed junk. That has encouraged me a little more.

                And you're right. I think I will start to employ some junk-food seeking vision and because of my IBS (I've been having more flares lately) I have to look at those foods as harmful (because they pretty much are.) I've decided I just can't deal with the pain or the fear of a possible flare after eating something I knew wasn't good for me. You know it's bad for you and you know it's going to cause you problems yet you can't seem to get away from it. Well I have to look at it as, as you say, poison. (I also have to take a medication to stop cramping and spasms and it also puts me to sleep.)

                I had what I would consider a filling paleo breakfast however my cravings sometimes make me think I'm hungry when all I really want to do is cram junk into my mouth because I need some kind of insane high to feel good. It tastes wonderful, but that taste doesn't last as long as the damage it's causing my body. After that I had a banana, some water and a small piece of G&B chocolate. So I haven't had a "real" lunch yet because...I'm stuck for ideas (that is, I don't have much meat stocked.)

                I appreciate you commenting (I wish I had the sense to check back sooner but like most forums, I felt I was being ignored so I stopped checking.

                All in all I think I have to stop being super gung-ho (a comment trait of mine) and take it one hour, one day, one week at a time.
                F|26yr|5'3"
                1st Start: 8.25.12
                SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                HW: 195

                Comment


                • #53
                  Yet another "update" and confession of "faileo". I fell off hard.

                  My dad fell of his own diet and started suddenly retaliating by buying cheap (and I do mean cheap..like dollar store) junk food. Now I see why CW diets don't work. You're limiting yourself. (He's now addicted to Jalapeno Cheetos and eats at least a 4th of the bag when he decides to partake of it. The worse part is, I just had a small taste and I also began eating them every other day. (I found that when I ate twice the amount, it would cause issues with my gut. I probably can't handle anything too spicy...let alone fake food) He gets a bag of tiny party sized Hershey's chocolates, cans of fatty (not the good kind) cashews, and washes it down with Pepsi Next, beer or Kool-Aid if he chooses.

                  I see the things he brings in, am initially and sometimes visibly disgusted yet somehow I partake of them. It's beyond disappointing. Somedays I only have one protein in one meal and virtually no vegetables (not to mention lack of any vitamins or supplements.) I don't say all this to demonize my dad. I love him and I suppose I'm just frustrated. But there is nothing I can do for him and I hope that if I succeed that might motivate him and mom.

                  Recently I've lost weight: I'm down to 153.

                  Ordinarily that number should have me flouncing around and jumping for joy. I kept asking myself "how did that happen?" Unfortunately the weight I lost was not fat, but probably muscle as I have not been working out or changing my eating at all. I have the same flabby arms, the same distended bloated tummy and cottage cheese thighs. I also find I cry a lot more (non-menstrual related) and I'm way more anxious. I'm having more flares and discomfort (normally I just suffer from lethargy) and ultimately I'm completely run down and tired all the time.

                  I'm 25. My grandma often says "How can you be tired? You're so young." (She's 90 and diabetic and has to depend on me a little more than she used to.) But she's right. I'm young. I shouldn't be this tired. But I am. And it sucks and it's embarrassing.

                  So, I need to get real with myself. I don't hate meat or vegetables or nuts or fruit...so I honestly shouldn't be so down in the dumps. But I guess it's the sugar talking (as well as having to adjust to being proactive and cooking the food. I am way too dependent on ready made food.) I'm in a situation where I can't easily escape the temptation (as I live with my family) but I feel that maybe if I stick to the forums and other primal/paleo blogs I can continuously remind myself what I'm working toward.
                  F|26yr|5'3"
                  1st Start: 8.25.12
                  SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                  HW: 195

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    I've been backtracking and reading through my old posts.

                    It's only now that I am realizing that all-or-nothing attitudes are not for everyone and that I was given a lot of good advice in the prior responses that I should have listened to. Unfortunately I let my obsessive perfectionist side take over and get me in trouble.

                    Right now I am not feeling too well. I started off my day with a pretty strong resolve (stronger than it's been in months) but after dessert (a bunch of grapes) The cravings kicked it into high gear and I ate and drank some things I know were bad. So…I suppose I'm feeling the consequences. I get pretty angry with myself for becoming weak, failing and then paying for it with pain and despair.

                    I did well today and fell off. I will strive to do better tomorrow and keep on track. I have got to focus on healing. That is the crux of why I'm doing this at all. (Losing the body fat would just be a lucky perk.) Being tired, in pain, sick and foggy-headed sucks yet I'm having a hard time communicating that to my body (or taste buds.) Sugar is addictive. Period.

                    I was weak today and I acknowledge the bad decisions I made. I should have gone for a walk or…practice some yoga poses (I know I need them). I believe sticking to this forum or other blogs will be a driving force in my motivation (or at least serve as a reminder.

                    I've got a lot of mental healing to do. Changing my thinking patterns and vocabulary is crucial. I have to stop glorifying the foods that I want to avoid, stop thinking about just how good it will taste (did someone say sugar high?) It's toxic and I deserve to find out what life could potentially be for me without these things.
                    F|26yr|5'3"
                    1st Start: 8.25.12
                    SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                    HW: 195

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      non-depressing post for once!

                      I've posted thrice today but this time I sort of have to. It's a motivating post.

                      OMG! I am so excited to report this.

                      1. After a skeptical search online, I was able to locate two LOCAL farms that sell GRASS FED MEAT!!!
                      2. One of the two chain groceries stores in town sells....wait for it....KERRYGOLD BUTTER!!!

                      *insert flailing Kermit the Frog gif*

                      I have to say I am excited and surprised to discover this; especially the butter. If I want anything relatively non mainstream in terms of food, I have to travel 45 minutes away from home (and then only on the weekend) to get it. Such a pleasant surprise, so unreal. In fact I had been planning to make a long distance trip to check out Publix and Kroger and see what the options were. It's a relief to know that for now I don't have to go more than 10 miles to get a primal staple. *fist pump* This truly does motivate me. I've never had or seen Kerrygold Butter before now (when my mom brought it home for me) so I can't wait to taste it. I'm mostly happy about the butter because there is a salmon recipe that is heavenly with butter so I can rejoice!

                      As to the grass-fed meat, that'll need some work. Mom and I have reached a kind of compromise over food and price. I told her that conventional meats and produce was totally fine BUT, when and if funds allowed, I'd like to purchase cleaner grass-fed/organic food. We're both happy with that. It's realistic and honestly I am done being obsessive, worrying about how clean it is and just giving up because I can't have it perfect. The purists can go kick rocks. I'm not savvy enough to say whether or not the local meat is any cheaper than what's at the store (depending on the cut) but I'm comforted to know that option is there!
                      F|26yr|5'3"
                      1st Start: 8.25.12
                      SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                      HW: 195

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        I'm exhausted and grumpy right now...

                        Had a bout of dizziness last night as well as some today. Scary and not a good feeling. This is the first day I have tried to go serious...

                        Today was a planned long distance trip to check out what the Kroger, Publix and Fresh Market had to offer me while I am trying to start my transition to Paleo/Primal.

                        What I Ate

                        Breakfast
                        1 banana
                        2 eggs with 1 cup spinach cooked inside

                        Snack
                        1 KIND bar

                        Lunch/Dinner
                        Burger King side salad with separate grilled chicken

                        Right now
                        grapes

                        Here's the thing…it is very difficult to maintain a paleo/primal regimen when you leave home. I tried to hold out but I couldn't and I still feel weak.

                        My eating today was all kinds of messed up. We went to a sporting goods store and I bought a KIND bar (they used to have LaraBars but they were completely out.) Unfortunately I realized it had a good amount of soy and peanuts. I only bought it because of the dizziness I was experiencing, thinking a fatty snack with almonds, walnuts and macadamia nuts would give me a boost.

                        It was getting late and so I had to get the side salad from BK to eat (this was around 5pm. I tend to eat dinner around 6pm.) I tried to be as clean as I could but still ate fast food. I'm not proud of it but I am trying my best not to beat myself up (which is hard.) I suppose there were some positive things today.

                        Trip to Kroger
                        -2 packages of Applegate Farms hotdogs (one beef, one turkey)
                        -4 LaraBars (because they were on sale and I would rather have them for when I leave home than be faced without them)
                        -green onions (they'll last me a month if I regrow them)
                        -cilantro

                        Trip to Publix
                        -2 packages of grass fed ground beef
                        *they had some pastured eggs but it was only 6 to a carton

                        Trip to Fresh Market
                        -1 bottle of Red Boat Fish sauce

                        I will save the receipt and try to figure out how all this works. I'm not sure if I had any bargains but the important thing is I have food to eat.

                        I didn't have the greatest of starts but I hope tomorrow will prove better.
                        F|26yr|5'3"
                        1st Start: 8.25.12
                        SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                        HW: 195

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Check into that local grass fed beef. Sometimes it's not much if any more expensive than the crap you buy at many stores. Some places will sell you just the cheaper cuts as many people love the prime stuff. Maybe you can get a deal on ground if you buy in bulk (ground is what you will use the most of since it is so versatile.

                          If you have a food processor, you can make your own larabars. They are just nuts and dried fruit. I make a great one with almonds, dried cherries and coconut flakes - great with chocolate on top. Elanaspantry.com has lots of variations to try.

                          Try boiling up 6 eggs at a time for taking along with you. They are cheap emergency protien and easy. Grapes were a good choice - while high in sugar, they are primal and probably made you feel lots better and ready to deal with another day. You made much better choices than your could have today with the kind bar; while not perfect (soy) it was not a twinkie either

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Mud Flinger: Thanks for the tips. While I don't travel much it's always a challenge so I'll try to better prepare myself for future trips.

                            As for today..I won't even bother logging what I ate. Family was visiting from long distance, didn't have access to my foods and the food my aunt put out was not optimal (but I ate it anyway because it was time for my dinner and I didn't want to feel hungry or else I'd just binge.) The only primal thing I had today was left over sesame ginger chicken (two pieces) with several baby carrots (and I think the carrots help fill me up) for my breakfast.

                            It's taking a lot of strength to not breakdown over it. I just don't like each day to be a failure. I want to feel and experience beneficial things while going primal/paleo. I want to feel more energetic and focused, and heal my gut among other things. When I can't get ONE DAY to go as it should, it's tough. ...but I will just try to look forward to a new start tomorrow. I think I'm pretty prepared for the week at least. If anyone could kind of peek in and steer me in the right direction in regards to how rounded my meals are looking, I'd appreciate that.
                            F|26yr|5'3"
                            1st Start: 8.25.12
                            SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                            HW: 195

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Just keep trying. Believe it or not, you will learn to "fail" better and avoiding the worst choices will get easier. Party situations are tough for most of us. Old favorites whisper your name and sometimes you just cant resist. No biggie unless you get super sick. Today is a new day. Plan to win and grit your teeth to get past the rough spots. You may surprise yourself and find that it wasn't that hard after all.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Mud Flinger: Thanks for the encouragement. I'm grateful for it.

                                B: NomNomPaleo's Thai Style Omelet
                                (Turned into scrambled eggs but I don't care.) It's definitely a new taste, but I like it. Not the boring eggs I'm used to. No salt needed since I'm using a potent fish sauce. I think cooking with butter gives it the most flavor. I may start preferring it to coconut oil. It's almost cheesy (I guess because Kerrygold is so flavorful.) Honestly I am having a craving for a sugary drink but I just got a whole bottle of water so I hope to get through it. Lastly I'll say the eggs (though scrambled) came out pretty. Cooked well but no scald marks in sight.

                                S: 1 banana

                                L: skipped; ended up eating 4 Hershey kisses while at my grandma's

                                D: salmon broiled with butter sauce (no veggies). This recipe is my mom's and it called for seasoning salt. But the one my mom gets is full of fake crud (not to mention cornstarch) so I omitted it. Next time I make this I might try looking for a way to substitute that. This would have tasted better if it had also had the skin on.

                                S: half of a huge orange (didn't taste that great)

                                I won't lie, after dinner I fell apart and haven't been able to stop. I am not going to bother listing what I ate. I'm aware of my mistakes. HOWEVER; I refuse to rip my hair out over this. I will not stress! I had a good start at least. I'm also taking this time to really learn some things along the way, even if I mess up.

                                -I learned that I think my lunches might need to be the biggest meal of the day (that is if breakfast is not as robust as it should.) Around the afternoon I just get really hungry and the longer I wait for dinner the more ravenous I become. Today's lack of lunch was because I was distracted with computer activities and I was probably being kind of lazy. I'm sure even a hotdog would have been something (but I dunno.) It might also be due to the fact that I keep waking up late and my internal clock is out of whack. It's possible too that JUST eggs (even cooked with butter) isn't enough to keep me satisfied. Lunch also needs to be portable so I'll take that into consideration.

                                -I had a very minute reaction (a few stomach pains that weren't too strong) after eating that candy. More reason to stay strong and avoid it.

                                -Batch cooking is CRUCIAL. So glad to have something waiting for me tomorrow.

                                -I have learned to like oven cooking. When I used to eat and prefer a lot of fried foods I wasn't fond of anything oven-baked. I found it bland and boring. But now that I have to cook for myself I am preferring it more (I'm afraid of frying anyway. Too dangerous!) Also with the right combo of seasoning it's great.

                                -I have to start prioritizing which foods get bought over others and it's not an easy task. I have to share the kitchen with mom which also means sharing spices and sauces (only the fish sauce and butter are exclusively mine, despite my willingness to share them.) So in this situation, things can run out. (I'm pretty conservative with ingredients).

                                -When I do slip up I notice that after the first 2-3 bites or sips (depending on the food), I don't enjoy it as much beyond that. It's sort of like when I gave up soda. I used to live for Sprite but I found that no matter what soda I drink now, eventually I'd make a face because that FIZZ would leave and what you're left with is gross syrupy yucky yuck. It seems now it's more about feeding the craving (high) than to get that divine flavor or taste. And that's both scary and eye-opening. You give in for just a taste of that delicious treat and after you just eat blindly and you don't seem to enjoy it anymore. (I think I'm also itchier, mostly my face.)

                                *sigh* Tomorrow is an "away from home" day so, I have to be on my toes. (Got my trusty Larabars waiting.) I am not particularly pleased with today. I had no real excuses for why it didn't go well but tomorrow is another opportunity, I hope I can do better.
                                Last edited by Byakko; 08-20-2012, 05:01 PM. Reason: updates
                                F|26yr|5'3"
                                1st Start: 8.25.12
                                SW: 151 CW: 147 GW: -150
                                HW: 195

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