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  • DH and I discovered very early in our relationship that physical activity is not a place where we have common ground. We tried tennis, handball, biking, and hiking all with frustrating results. He is, and always has been, more athletic than I am/was. Plus he is more competitive so I would want to go out and "hit the ball around and generally just move around a bit" he wanted to "win the trophy." With biking, I lived in Florida and spent my life riding bikes with no gears, you know beach type rambling along checking out the guys. He did trail and mountain biking in West Virginia. Same with hiking, I was strolling the beach all day long, he was hiking mountains. We did swing dancing and that worked because I am a better dancer to start with and neither one of us knew how to swing dance. So although he was more athletic I was a slightly faster learner, and this kept us at approximately the same pace. Plus we both loved the music. He is willing to do that again if I could just find some lessons. I have found some but soooo expensive. We did it via Community Ed in Florida, so far not an option here.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

    Comment


    • Ruth, I LOVE that book.

      Comment


      • Awesome you ROCK STAR you!!! Thrilled for you!
        Karin


        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

        What am I doing? Depends on the day.

        Comment


        • I'm sexy and I know it (maybe)??????

          Incidentally, one of the reasons that I struggle to change my life is my lack of confidence in myself. This is really two-fold: I don't think I'm physically attractive and I don't think I'm smart enough. {Warning - possible TMI ahead}

          I believe this stems from significant mental/emotional abuse from stepdad 1 when I was young. Every single day, he would tell me (over, and over, and over again) how ugly I was, how stupid I was, how useless I was, etc. Some of this was then reinforced at school (kids are mean!). When I moved in with my grandparents, they tried so hard to counteract these thoughts. Actually, if you listened to my grandparents, I was as kind as Mother Theresa, smart as Einstein, and beautiful as Cindy Crawford Similarly, my DH will tell you (and me) how beautiful and smart I am. As far as I can tell, the man clearly believes these things. Yet, I cannot seem to believe them about myself. It's a wonder that I've achieved the success I have with so little confidence.

          Slowly, I've been working to change my own self-perception. When we moved to NM, I decided to "re-invent" myself. I started dressing better - in a way that really flatters my figure. When my grandma passed away, she left me all of her jewelry. [As an aside, my grandma was the BEST role model in this sense. When she was a tiny size 6 or a more full-figured size 16 she always, and I mean always, looked her best. Even in the nursing home, my grandma's hair was styled, she wore nice looking clothes, and lipstick. At my grandpa's funeral, she was in a lather because we hadn't thought to bring a purse or lipstick (we remedied that rather quickly).] I started pairing jewelry with my outfits. Then, I got a really flattering bob haircut. Ironically, it's helped me to feel better about myself. Of course, I STILL have trouble thinking I look "hot"...

          Then, I read the Fear book. While it's not directed at self-confidence, per se, it does does talk a lot about the negative self-chatter that goes on in our head. And, I admit, I have a LOT of that chatter going on. So, starting yesterday, I'm following her suggestion to keep repeating positive mantras to myself. Mine are usually along the lines of "you are a rockstar" [not sure exactly what that means, but I like it for some reason]; "you are fierce", and "you are smokin' hot". I don't know how long it will take to overcome 30 some-odd years of negative perceptions, but I'm bound and determined to make it work!!

          Today's risk: taking care of some of my grandpa's stuff that I've been avoiding.

          My quote of today is part of a PN lesson. This, incidentally, is going to be really hard for me, though the habit is deceptively simple.
          Nutrition scientists at the University of Rhode Island had 30 normal-weight, college-age women come into a laboratory twice for lunch. Each time, the women were offered a huge plate of pasta with tomato-vegetable sauce and grated Parmigiana cheese, plus a glass of water.

          They were asked to eat until the point of comfortable fullness.

          At one visit, the women were told to eat as quickly as they could; during the other visit, they ate slowly and put down their spoons between bites.

          The women didnít know that researchers weighed the food and water before and after the meal to determine the amount consumed. Sneaky!

          Hereís what the study found:

          When eating quickly, the women consumed around 646 calories in about 9 minutes.
          When eating more slowly, they consumed around 579 calories in about 29 minutes.
          They ate 67 more calories in 9 minutes than they did in 29 minutes! Add that up over three meals per day and you can see why thatís a problem.

          And get this: an hour after the meal, the women reported being hungrier after eating quickly, even though they consumed more total calories.


          Finally, here's a recent picture from my cousin's wedding. Not where I ultimately want to be, but definately hot (in more ways than one with the major sunburn)) [do you know how hard it is not to qualify that statement???]
          DSCF2315.jpg
          -- Ruth

          Comment


          • Oh such a cute couple!! LOVE LOVE the hair and giiirrrrrrl... you ARE a ROCK STAR!!

            Interesting quote.. I think I even had a couple of OMG moments and flashbacks. It explains a lot. I have always been a quick eater.

            I am loving the PN lessons you are sharing.. they truly are thought provoking.
            Karin


            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

            What am I doing? Depends on the day.

            Comment


            • You guys look great. I always wanted to look that good in a Bob haircut, but mine always ended up looking like a pyramid.
              Primal since 9/24/2010
              "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

              Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
              MFP username: MDAPebbles67

              Comment


              • First....you are adorable! Very nicely proportioned. (and that is a southern lady's polite way of saying stacked) And you guys make a lovely couple.

                I think it is sooo important to overcome the negative chatter in our heads. I have stopped that, finally, as well as the snide remarks I used to make about my weight to people to let them know that I knew that I am fat. But I have not turned that around into positive chatter. I just avoid the conversation!

                I do still believe I am attractive, never thought of myself as 'hot' or 'sexy', even when I was thin and technically could be called both.

                I know that one of my biggest problems is eating fast as well as not really paying attention to what I am eating. Something to seriously work on!

                I know that writing this stuff down may not be the easiest thing for you, but it is very helpful for me, as I can see myself in much of what you are writing. (except the stepdad part-what a horrible person)
                Chris
                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                Unknown

                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                Comment


                • It's Monday. Time for another week at work and another work trip. Sigh. I'm tired of traveling. Not so much time this morning, but I will come back to the notion of my job (that'll be another epic post).

                  Today starts the "official" 2 weeks of eating slowly. I find this simple, but incredibly daunting. I practiced yesterday and found it hard. But did notice a nice feeling of full with a normal portion size. Things I'm trying to help:
                  * Put your fork down between each bite (yeah, do you know I don't do that as a regular habit?)
                  * Set a minimum number of chews for each bite (um, amazing how FAST I scarf my food. taste? did I taste that?)

                  Anything else I might try? I know that this is going to be a big key to learning to live without counting calories.......
                  -- Ruth

                  Comment


                  • Quote I'm loving today:

                    Life.jpg
                    -- Ruth

                    Comment


                    • Love the quotes you are coming up with!

                      The thing I did to help me slow down (come to think of it I need to be doing all of these as well!) was to sit so that I faced the mirror in the dining room. When I saw how unattractive I looked scarfing down food, boy that slowed it down. One of the things I added was when I put my utensil down, I blotted my mouth with my napkin, very refined looking and it adds a few seconds at each bite. I also took my wrist watch off my wrist and set it in front of my plate. I would not allow myself to put food into my mouth more often than every 30 seconds. I started this when I was eating sloppy sandwiches which were a pain to put down between bites.

                      I think I really just need to put less on my plate. I never go back for seconds, and I generally finish my plate, seems like a no-brainer to give myself smaller portions!

                      Good Luck, I will edit if I think of any others.
                      Chris
                      "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                      Unknown

                      My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                      My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                      Comment


                      • Great ideas for slowing down. I am always the first one finished eating in my family. I find it very embarassing when we are out in public. I will start practicing slow eating today.
                        Primal since 9/24/2010
                        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                        MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                        Comment


                        • Shining a Flashlight in the (Emotional) Closet

                          I've been sharing for the last 2 days that our new PN habit is sloooooooooowing down the eating. I solicited advice from my MDA pals yesterday and shared that I thought it was going to be a tough habit. What I didn't mention was how very stressed I really was about this new habit. I actually avoided eating my first meal because I was so stressed. I was unnaturally shaken (and, I'm a person who handles new challenges and circumstances with grace and calm). Something else was going on.

                          Last night, when I should have been sleeping, it dawned on me. My issues with slowing down weren't just about bad habits I've developed over the years (although, don't get me wrong, those habits are certainly part of the problem). I have emotional issues that I've buried so deep, I have literally "forgotten" that they exist.

                          I mentioned in an earlier post that I was emotionally abused as a child. I was humiliated for my weight. We were also poor, and food was limited and I was often hungry (although I can't figure out how I was overweight when I often was hungry? it's hard to say how much was perception. Of course, maybe it was because it wasn't the most nutrition-dense food). On top of that, my baby brother was picky, we were poor, and so certain foods were designed for him only (nothing like the forbidden to tempt you...). I ate, quite often, in shame. I ate secretly. I ate quickly so as not to be discovered, so as not to draw attention to myself. The little girl inside of me feels shame, hurt, rejection, and anger.

                          I suspect that not dealing with these issues is one of the reasons I cannot keep the weight off. I can bury these feelings and the habits for awhile, but since I've refused to acknowledge them, they continue to rear their ugly head. Today, I'm going to take the first step and recognize that these things exist. I'm not entirely sure how I will deal with them going forward, but I certainly feel as though a weight has been lifted.

                          This is the first step. I shined the light in my big, dark, scary, closet. Now I need to pull the junk out, sort it, and deal with it.
                          -- Ruth

                          Comment


                          • Yesterday was a good day. I spent a lot of time thinking. Eating slowly was a challenge, but I feel better for it.

                            Food yesterday:
                            B - Leftover pork roast, spinach, strawberries
                            L - Leftover pork roast, jicama, fermented pickles
                            S - banana, nectarine, beef jerky (beef, salt)
                            D - beef roast, mushrooms, onions, 1/2 sm sweet potato, cantaloupe
                            [Not enough veggies]

                            Workout (Lower body):
                            Foam rolling
                            Stretching
                            Mobility work
                            Lower body (includes squats, Romanian dead lifts, planks, etc)

                            I'm just a bit sore today, which means I pushed it just enough.

                            Sometimes I struggle that I've spent my entire life trying, unsuccessfully to lose weight. But, I have a resilient spirit and have not doubt that I'm going to get there. With that in mind, here's my inspiration for today.

                            Famous Failures.jpg
                            -- Ruth

                            Comment


                            • Love the quote and wow its so true. Some I had heard of and some were new to me.

                              Shining the light in the emotional closet is not something I want to do. Its a scary thing and you are brave. I am so proud that you are able to shine some light on the causation. So I guess, since you identified it, now comes the time to come to terms with it so it no longer dictates you. You are one step closer and that is a reason to celebrate!
                              Karin


                              Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

                              What am I doing? Depends on the day.

                              Comment


                              • love the quotes.

                                And seriously, regarding the emotional stuff, have you ever checked into Jon Gabriel (the Gabriel Method)? The thing I think you would really get out of his stuff is from his meditations. He focuses on healing emotional situations in which we have built up a layer of protection (extra weight) around us. He has some great meditations. If you are interested I could send you my copy of his night time one to try out.
                                Chris
                                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                                Unknown

                                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                                Comment

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