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  • where the heck are you lady? Hope all is well.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

    Comment


    • Lots to catch up on - will try tomorrow.

      I was in TX for a week, working like a fiend, so that explains part of it
      -- Ruth

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      • anticipating news
        Chris
        "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
        Unknown

        My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

        My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

        Comment


        • Trying to think where to even start...................

          Okay, after the family pictures came back, I lost it. I looked at myself and couldn't believe it. I haven't weighed this much in like 5 or 6 years and never thought I'd be here again. And, my body shape is completely different. I've never had relatively big thighs in proportion to the rest of me...all the while, the girls are shrinking. I fell off my ADF bandwagon, which is silly, because how am I going to feel better about myself by not making a change???? But, I'm working hard to like myself. I bought a few things that fit. New bras. New underwear. New stuff to wear to the gym that makes me feel better.

          Thanksgiving was good, but somewhat hard. I'm not the world's best cook and I was having unrealistic expectations. But, overall, loved having my first Thanksgiving with kids. My kids

          Things are going pretty well with the kids. My oldest turned 18. I can hardly believe it. So proud of this young man. He's maturing so much. Love, love, love him. He almost cried on his birthday while opening his gifts. He's in contact with his mom again, so we'll do our best to support him as he navigates through the relationship. He asked us if we wanted to have lunch with him and her when they finally meet again. We relaxed some of the rules, but many are in place. He continues to be respectful about the rules that are there. He still calls and asks if he can go places and tells us where he is. His grades are pretty good (I'm worried about 1 of his classes) and miles better than the past 2 years. He's also doing a sport for the first time ever.

          Making gains with our middle guy (the one with the most trust issues). He's more open (less lying, more sharing [though I should comment the "lying" is not direct...he answers the question I asked, which is not always the question I was really intending to ask...or, he just doesn't mention things he should]) and able to handle some physical touch...and actually initiating some of it. He's my "trainer" at the gym. He harps on my about pushing myself, not giving up so easily, and gets mad at me if I say something about being "fat". He also harps (endlessly) on me eating more and getting enough protein.

          My baby turns 15 in a few weeks. He's is he that still a kid but a teenager phase. His grades are improving, though not where he needs to be. But, making progress. We've just finished watching all Fast and Furious movies together (all 6 of them). He asked me to start the day after he and his girlfriend broke up. On Saturday, he was asking me to read the series of text messages between he and her. So, some attachment continuing to form with my "little" guy (you know, his 5'8.5" to my 5'5").

          DH and I are doing better. Honestly, still a long way to go. But, since I've gotten back from my visit to my best friend at the end of February, most of my anger has gone (I had a LOT of my own stuff to work through). I don't feel as close and I'd like, and I can see that my growing attachment to the boys is hindering things, but, we'll get there. I plan to focus more energy on us in the coming months.

          After my meltdown, I then had TDay, where I could not do a true DD to save my life. I then went to TX, where I worked over 60 hours (something that used to be norm, but is no longer my life), and I did NOT get a DD there either. But, I was really only 3-4 lb from my low, so I take that as a victory.

          Compounding my lack of DD and my emotional issues were trying to rev things up in the gym. I was really struggling with recovery after very light sessions and was not able to gain any kind of strength. I was STARVING, physically, not emotionally.

          But, this week, I think I'm back at it. I'm only about 1 lb from my low (after a DD). My gym recovery is good and I'm progressing well at the gym. I'm doing a modified Starting Strength and will probably try to go full force after the new year. So, my bench press is at 70, squat without a bench and full depth is at 75, deadlift is 120ish, press is 45. My middle guy is pressing me to get my bench to 90 (so I can spot him, because he's lifting a lot more), so that's why it's so close to my squat, because I've been working hard at it.

          Still battling with how I look. I weigh more than each of my sons, including my 5'9" wrestler. But, progress is progress. I'm working to lose weight (hopefully mostly fat) while maintaining my lean body mass. Back on track with ADF, focusing a lot on protein. I've almost moved to a "if it fits your macros" paradigm, except I don't track macros. I try to make the balance of my eating choices good, with a focus on protein and veggies. But, I'm allowing for some treats...so long as treats remain treats and not an all the time, everyday thing.

          Anyway, probably much more, but this is all I can think of for the moment
          -- Ruth

          Comment


          • oh my there is so much there, I need to go make dinner now though, so I will take the time to do thoughtful commentary tomorrow. Mostly I love what you said, except the part about how you think you look.
            Chris
            "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
            Unknown

            My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

            My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

            Comment


            • Really, you need to focus on the positives. You have a great family, you are a wonderful person. Believe in yourself rather than dwelling on the negatives of how you think you look. If it bothers your son when you call yourself fat, don't do it!!
              Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

              Comment


              • I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, Ruth, as best you can. You have a lot of positives in your life, and that is fantastic.

                Comment


                • I agree with Honeybuns and Sabine, you have a lot of positive stuff going on there.

                  I really feel like you need to convince yourself that you are beautiful, believing it will have you acting in a way that makes it even more so. You know that we often use food as a punishment, and thinking that you are not worth it or it doesn't matter anyway or that you have let yourself go, are all ways in which we will tend to pile on more food. And when we don't feel good about the way we look we also tend to just throw on anything, clothing wise, which makes us feel even worse. Take an honest look at your current body shape, go to pinterest and find outfits that work with it, and wear them. You most likely have the parts in your closet already, and accessories are without size as a general rule, so use lots of them.

                  I have taken to telling myself something positive about my looks every time I see a reflection of myself. Very hard at first but coming more naturally now. Sometimes the affirmations are general ("you look adorable"), and sometimes they are specific ("your eyes are sparkling today"). I don't say them out loud, though I probably should, because it just felt too awkward.

                  If you are working out, you probably do need to add more protein (at least as a percentage of the total). I have been working on an anti-inflammatory style of eating, which focuses on protein, healthy fats, and using veggies/fruits as my carb sources (though I do enjoy an occasional piece of homemade bread, stone cut grits, or steel cut oats). I feel better and it allows for a fuller plate (I do have a portion control issue).
                  Chris
                  "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                  Unknown

                  My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                  My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                  Comment


                  • Just dropped by to let you know I'm thinking about you all, the holidays and how crazy this all must be for everyone. Wishing you all the best.

                    Happy New Year!

                    Comment


                    • Just saw your Christmas picture on facebook and I wanted to tell you that the boys actually look like your boys. Because of DH they look like they could genetically be yours. I love the picture. It is really lovely (you aren't trying to hide back there are you?)
                      Chris
                      "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                      Unknown

                      My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                      My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                      Comment


                      • Hi guys!!!!!!!!!!! Here we are, the end of 2014. Can you believe it???????????? It did not turn out to be anything like I thought it would be. It was both the most amazing, and hardest, year I can remember. I would not trade it for the world, though health and weight wise, it was one of the worst. Having my boys has been so incredible. I love, love, love, love, love being a mom. I never, in my wildest imagination, saw that about myself. Not saying I'm the best mom But, it's the best "job" I've ever had...the missing "thing" in my life. DH and I have, and continue, to struggle with our married life. But, we also continue to work at it. One day, we will be stronger for this. I have also done so much work on myself. I'm learning that I never really dealt with my own past (abuse, neglect, etc.). I'm learning to be more aware of my own feelings. I'm doing better about not eating my way through life.

                        So, where to go for 2015. I've stopped making resolutions. I'm a goal-oriented person, but I never reach my health/aesthetic resolutions. Instead, here's what I want to focus on:
                        * My faith;
                        * My marriage;
                        * My relationship with my kids;
                        * Getting stronger;
                        * Finding a livable eating situation.

                        I want to continue at the gym and get stronger. I do not think this will help me lose weight. In fact, it's often counter productive because I get SO hungry. But the gym does many things. I actually like lifting heavy (think powerlifting). It gives me confidence. It gets me out of the house. It gets me out of the house with my boys (because they'll often go with me). It will give me strength to be active with them this summer, so that I don't sit at home while the rest of my family is enjoying themselves together.

                        Foodwise. I'm leaning toward a more relaxed Primal/Paleo. My boys are Mexican and really want Mexican food. So, I've been making more (homemade green chile chicken enchiladas, their grandma's Mexican rice, homemade refried beans with lard from US Wellness meats, etc.). It's homemade. It has grains. But they like it. My family likes it. I like it. My focus is still meat and veg and some starch (potatoes, etc.), but Mexican is going to happen and I'm not going to try and "paleofy" it (unless it has gluten, since I cannot eat much of that, but a lot of time, I'll just take out the filing and make the rest for them).

                        I loved ADF and finally saw some losses with it. At the same time, I can't make it work at the gym. With ADF, I couldn't recover (it would take at least a week, with a very light workout) and couldn't make any strength gains. When I eat enough to fuel the workouts, the scale wasn't moving (though I'm certain I did gain some muscle -- you can feel my triceps, biceps, and quads) [my waist was getting smaller, but no movement on the hips or thighs]. This week, I've gone back to a window (basically, one nice meal and one small snack), with a focus on protein, and the scale seems to be moving and my initial results are that the scale is moving and the gym performance is okay. So, for awhile, I may be back to a window. I'm also at sorta a IIFYM, which a real focus on sufficient protein.

                        Other than that, my weight held pretty steady over the holidays, which was NICE. There was fudge, and cookies, and prime rib, and scalloped potatoes, and some days of not as much. I'm please with that and ready to make progress again.

                        Christmas was lovely. I did 12 days of "Christmas" before Christmas of giving the boys small things each day. I'm pretty sure they loved it. We also worked hard to set expectations for the actual day and I think it worked. I can feel us settling in more as a family and I can feel a much tighter attachment. I think it takes about 9 months.

                        MF - glad you stopped by. Thanks for the note and I hope you are well!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Chris - I wasn't hiding (seriously). DH said we all had to squeeze in tighter to fit in the picture and he came running over so we could snap it. My boys were all being goofy (the youngest was scowling because he had girl problems), but that's our life, so that's the picture I posted

                        Happy 2015 MDA friends. Look forward to another year with my virtual friends
                        -- Ruth

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                        • Love this post!


                          Sent from my iPad using Marks Daily Apple Forum
                          Karin


                          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

                          What am I doing? Depends on the day.

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                          • Kids must be back in school by now, so the new year has officially begun. How is it going for you?
                            Chris
                            "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                            Unknown

                            My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                            My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                            Comment


                            • Middle son and I will go to Texas after school today and come back Saturday. My "baby" turns 15 on Saturday. More updates probably next week, although I go to Austin next week and the following week
                              -- Ruth

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                              • Primal Journal (RMS)

                                Texas?!? Though I am guessing it is not as crazy long a trip for y'all as it would be for us. For fun or business?

                                Happy birthday to your baby. Soon you will have 3 male teenage drivers in the house. Kinda scary.

                                p.s. Mark had an article on calories and weight loss. Nothing earth shattering but certainly helpful to be reminded.
                                Last edited by demuralist; 01-08-2015, 11:43 AM.
                                Chris
                                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                                Unknown

                                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                                Comment

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