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My oldest son called me mom today (not just a reference or introduction as his mom -- all the boys do that). Usually they call me Ruth. I am okay with that and had accepted they would always call me Ruth. It probably won't happen again, especially around his brothers, but it was still special....
Down 3 lb this week. Feeling happy with things like being called mom Love, love, love my 3 boys. Trying not to focus on my insecurities and comments of others (so much unsolicited advice and/or plain ol' negative comments).
This week, I should be moving my first meal out until 4. 3 was hard some days, super easy on others. I'm needing to make my boys lunch right now, so it's going to be a bit of a challenge. I can tell by the results that this is promising. I can enjoy a nice dinner with my family and, if I want (which isn't all that often), a nice (small) treat. Weekends are more difficult, but maybe those will be 2 meals a day (or, 1 "snack" size and one regular size). I'm hoping to be firmly in the 1 meal/day camp by the time we go on vacation...that way, hopefully, I don't come home with too many unwanted pounds.
I lost more weight today, after what was a rather high calorie day. Go figure. I am much LESS stressed than I have been and getting better sleep. I'm suspecting this, plus a pretty low calorie week, has contributed. [4 down, 70 something to go......]
Just generally feeling pretty happy. I really want to go rafting...this from a girl that can barely swim. Not sure what has gotten into me.
Get a nice cover up. Seriously don't wait to do fun stuff until you are the right weight.
Oh and buy a well reviewed tutorial with videos you can follow along with. I got one for like $5 for the Mac and I would not try to use the photoshop without it. It was not an apple or an adobe product.
The hard thing about attachment is that it is 1 step forward, 4 steps back...but, I'm keeping a daily gratitude journal, which helps me remember these high points and has really helped with my attitude. Lots of hard stuff in my life, but many, many, many amazing things, big and small, happen to me every single day.
Today, my first meal is at 4. It's HARD. I've been hungry since 2, but I am determined (with 50 minutes to go) to make it to 4. Of course, it wasn't that long ago that getting to 2 was hard, so I know that I'm making progress
Fighting with 2 of my sons to get them to eat enough. I never thought I'd be one of those moms. But, I have one kid who, without intervention, is probably getting 600 calories a day (that is NOT enough) and then another that just wants to eat junk (and who actually isn't really eating enough, especially considering his activity level). Sigh. I never wanted to do this. If it's a day here and there, I don't worry...but sustained, yeah. My one son is 5'8.5" and weighs 110 lb. At least it's mostly muscle!
Other than that, just not wanting to work. I know that one of my blessings is that I work part time, work (mostly) from home, and make more than most people working full time. I think my issue is that 1) I have no passion or like for my job; and 2) I just want to be a full time mom. I'm slowly working on my husband...and, I can't deny that I really have a good thing going....
Look how far you have come in the food, family and job areas...so far in such a short time. Be kind to yourself.
As for a kid who does not eat..I sympathize and actually KNOW how you feel. Remember Lily does not eat. At the end of the day, I almost don't care what she eats, as long as she eats. All you can do us keep nourishing food available. Junk food?? Oh yes, we have it here..we play "let's make a deal" sometimes.
Junk food, well yes they will get it from you or they will get it elsewhere can't stress too much about that. But maybe make a rule that if they want it in your house they have to make it. Maybe you do once a week treat and teach them how.
And oh my yes, how very far your have come in a very short time. Maybe your rewards need to be things that you like to do in solitary since you know you need alone time. Knitting and reading come to mind.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
In the grand scheme of things, the "junk" is probably not all that egregious... tortilla chips, ice cream bars, jerky with icky stuff, and popsicles. I'm trying to remember that at school, it's no better. So, if I can get one healthy dinner, life is good
Mental hunger today. A little bit of tummy rumbling, but I know it's more mental. I'm tired and a little anxious, so I know that's the bulk of my problem. Yesterday was a low calorie day (like 300 calories), not the scale can be kind enough to reflect it It's making it more difficult to go until 4, but I'm really going to give it my all.
My little guy started football practice last night. I think he's got a stomach bug today
We're on track for the adoption to be finalized in early August...though the social worker has to get her paperwork done next week...and that's really asking a lot. SIGH.