Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal Journal (RMS)

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I went to work last Tuesday after getting only 3 hours sleep the night before. So I decided to lower my computer and sit for the day. It actually made things worse, by about 1pm I put it back and went back to standing, I wasn't any less sleepy but I felt less lethargic. I am slowly coming to the realization that I am better off with slow steady movement all day long, or at least that the less sitting I do the better I feel. Just a thought.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

    Comment


    • Hey girl, checking in on you
      Karin


      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

      What am I doing? Depends on the day.

      Comment


      • Finally catching up with everyone. I hope it has all worked out well with DH's job. That's a scary thing to worry about.

        Brrr, for the track day. One of the parts Eldest loved best about his swim team uniform was the HUGE fleece-lined coat they were each issued. You could have used that thing for a polar expedition. Something like that would sure be handy for those desert nights.

        Littlest got carded last week, for wearing shorts that were a fraction too short. It's always something.

        Comment


        • Did you make the cheesecake yet?
          Chris
          "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
          Unknown

          My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

          My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

          Comment


          • ok, here is the thing, I know you were here, but did not leave us an update in your journal. This kind of thing makes me worry. What's up?
            Chris
            "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
            Unknown

            My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

            My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

            Comment


            • Lots going on - will try to update tomorrow (today is early release from school, 2 track practices, and I teach class).
              -- Ruth

              Comment


              • ok, I will let you off the hook then, hope you are remembering to enjoy the moment.
                Chris
                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                Unknown

                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                Comment


                • Eek, I don't even know where to start....

                  * DH still has a job. Whew. I think things are tense, but I'm glad that right now things are okay. Not that we can't roll with the punches...but it's nice to have a little time before we have to deal with those punches. We have plenty going on right now
                  * DH and I were each on a different parenting page. This surprised us both, because we think we have the same general philosophy. DH thinks I have been too permissive (probably true) and I think all he focuses on is disciple without any consideration, turning into his dad (someone I don't particularly like). I felt like my kind, gentle, loving husband went out the door and was replaced with someone only concerned with disciple, discipline, discipline. There were tears. There was screaming. There might have been a few cuss words. There was some stupid, petty stuff on both of our behalf. None of this childish behavior helped our kids out. DH called our therapist with some issues with one of our guys and I was uncomfortable because I wasn't seeing the same behaviors. We had a really hard session therapy with one of our guys (in part because I wasn't fully on board). I think it came out fine, probably even very good.....and DH have worked through a lot and are now back on (mostly) the same page. This has been stressful in many ways. I can totally see how having children, particularly adopted children, can be stressor and help lead toward divorce if both partners aren't committed to working through things.
                  * I was very disregulated the past many days. My TOM totally, totally, totally kicked my rear. Tears over nothing. Snapping. More tears. Eating crap that did not help any of the situation. Disregulation in me causes disregulation in the entire family. I ended up sleeping until 6:30 one morning and my boys were freaked out (I'm usually up by 5:30 am making sure their morning is going okay....and checking on things like dress code). I was crying and they weren't sure what to do with it.
                  * I'm so tired. LIke I said, TOM has been unusually rough this month.
                  * We had to tell one of my guys that he has to miss two track meets. Given that he just got his grades high enough to participate, and given how important this is to him, it was hard. Probably more so for me than for him?
                  * One of my guys had a rough week. His GF dumped him and (the truly difficult part) spread about some sensitive information. We knew, but others, including his brother and former foster brother did not. This info is now all over the entire school.
                  * I continue to worry if we're good parents, if we're what the boys need, if they can ever love us (we knew this might never happen when we adopted them, and I'm okay with it, but I still want it).
                  * Some good moments of trust. All three of our guys shared stuff with us this week (unprompted). One guy brought me his phone and asked me to read a series of text messages on some private stuff related to a girl (I do have all of their passwords, but we try hard to be judicious and only scan for safety issues). One guy told me about something big he lost (he usually makes up stories about lost stuff). One guy shared rough stuff about his day.
                  * Major med changes for one guy. It's possible that crap will hit the fan when the stuff is out of his system. We are committed to working through this with him, but it could be some stressful weeks.
                  * In the midst of all of this, there are many other "normal" but joyous events. I do so much enjoy parenting and am sad I only have these guys for a few short years.
                  * Let's not talk about my weight, which continues to go in the wrong direction, despite efforts on my part.
                  * Next week is spring break. Hooray. Other than the 10 hour car ride, I think we all need this break.

                  Is it Friday yet????????
                  -- Ruth

                  Comment


                  • Boy howdy. Big hugs. Sounds like life AND parenting are smacking you around big time this week. Just remember, sometimes, just putting one foot in front of the other IS the victory. No one needs to be perfect, or even good, ALL the time.

                    It is good for your boys to see you meltdown--and then recover. Show them that these things happen, you correct/soothe, and move on.

                    And the biggest lesson I learned from when I had new arrivals(both biological and other): it is normal to be overwhelmed. Just because you feel this way now, does not mean you will feel this way in a week, a month, a year. Thhings change. Breath, and keep going.

                    I'll be sending you good vibes. The weather is clear between Texas and New Mexico, so they should get there in a jiffy. (Have your boys look up what a jiffy is, if they don't already know. It's neat.)

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Sabine View Post
                      Boy howdy. Big hugs. Sounds like life AND parenting are smacking you around big time this week. Just remember, sometimes, just putting one foot in front of the other IS the victory. No one needs to be perfect, or even good, ALL the time.

                      It is good for your boys to see you meltdown--and then recover. Show them that these things happen, you correct/soothe, and move on.

                      And the biggest lesson I learned from when I had new arrivals(both biological and other): it is normal to be overwhelmed. Just because you feel this way now, does not mean you will feel this way in a week, a month, a year. Thhings change. Breath, and keep going.

                      I'll be sending you good vibes. The weather is clear between Texas and New Mexico, so they should get there in a jiffy. (Have your boys look up what a jiffy is, if they don't already know. It's neat.)
                      What she said!

                      All normal real life stuff! Sucky yes, but you all will be stronger for the bumps in the road. Differing parenting styles can acctually help your kids. One parent is there to help get the job done and the other can give hugs, love and commiserate along the way. You will work through all these things and you already have therapists to help you. Just keep trying. You succeed much more than you fail! You are already awesome parents ( here's a secret you already know, there are no perfect parents, we all fail at lots of stuff)!

                      Comment


                      • Well, first, I heard one of the Boston Marathon bombing survivors say that the thing that pulled her through (she is a dance that lost her foot and is working through getting a replacement) was a quote her grandmother told her "it is ok not to be ok". Life is not all about moving from one happy moment to the next, there are going to be some less than happy moments too and learning to deal with them is part of life.

                        Building on what has already been said (cross posting going on)...

                        My DH and I very RARELY agree on discipline issues. It is usually that he thinks I am too soft on them, though there have been surprises where that was reversed. The problem is that every child is different, and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. It is good that you have a therapist to help you work through things.

                        So sorry that the GF had to get ugly with the breakup, social media really allows for some fast spread of things that are very often nobody's business.

                        Why does he have to miss 2 track meets?

                        Very happy that they are beginning to trust you.

                        Also, the reality is that now that you are parents, you are always their parents. So they will go off to college and come back home for summers (sometimes) then get married and bring back their children (you will have grandchildren). What you are giving them is way more than a stable situation for the next few years, you are creating a home base for the rest of their lives.

                        Where are you going for Spring Break?
                        Last edited by demuralist; 04-10-2014, 06:15 AM.
                        Chris
                        "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                        Unknown

                        My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                        My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                        Comment


                        • Oh honey. Try and not beat yourself up too much on this. Easier said than done. The kiddos have baggage and all you can do is be there, help them and love them. That is what they need most. I would also encourage you strongly to have a regular date night with the hubs just to keep on the same page. It is true that not just for adopted parents but regular that you get sucked into parenting and forget about the relationship part. If you will remember my brother and sister are adopted and I have watched much of what you describe play out with my dad and Meg. Let me know if you want to contact her as someone who has been there. Even though the kids were much younger when they were adopted, there were issues.. Many many issues.

                          Love ya sista!!
                          Karin


                          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

                          What am I doing? Depends on the day.

                          Comment


                          • Thinking of you. You are doing great.
                            Primal since 9/24/2010
                            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                            Comment


                            • Hooray, it's Friday. I swear, it's been a crazy week. Two therapist visits and a social worker. Tonight, I take one of my guys to the doctors (I think it's a shin splint, but want to make sure it's not something more). Tomorrow is a track meet and then we leave for spring break. Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're driving to Park City. The guys are worried - it's like a 12 hour car ride...that's the longest ride they've ever been on, and well, you know how brotherly love goes After tomorrow, I probably won't be checking in much -- you know how it goes on my phone.

                              We have some fun stuff planned. We have Jazz/Lakers tickets -- I know at least 2 out of the 3 boys are going to be so excited. One guy isn't much of a sports fan, but live games are actually pretty fun, even if you don't like sports. If the snow is still good (questionable, this time of year), we'll go snowboarding.

                              We're only 3 hours from my hometown, which is relatively close, but I probably won't drag the family to just go check on my grandparents grave and say 'hi' to my best friend's family.

                              Taxes are DONE. My stupid company made an agreement to pay taxes in other states if we travel over a few days, so I got to pay taxes in Colorado as well. What a pain to have to do the 2nd state tax return. We owed a ton. Philosophically, I would rather owe than have a refund (and I have enough in savings to cover it), but this year, with all of our expenses with the boys, it was not making me feel particularly happy.

                              Some other cool stuff to mention (for me as a mom to report). Maybe in awhile. It was a big day of errands and I'm tired. Gotta get my middle guy to the school bus by 6:30 am tomorrow. Eecks. I know I"m usually up by 5 or 5:30, but it would be nice to sleep until 6 or 6:30. Oh well. Such is life as a mom
                              Last edited by RMS123; 04-11-2014, 03:55 PM.
                              -- Ruth

                              Comment


                              • Oh yes, cheesecake. Haven't made it yet. Middle son wants one for his birthday, which is the end of May. I want to do a test run soon so I don't ruin it on his big day.

                                Oldest is having a friend over for dinner. He told him that his mom "cooks organic stuff" and "it's usually okay". LOL. These guys are both dismayed and proud that I use organic (mostly grassfed meat, but to them, it all means organic).
                                -- Ruth

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X