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  • I will keep the teaching job through this quarter. Whether I would do another quarter -- or if they would have me -- we shall see how things go on that front.

    DH is rather nervous, because I don't have an official offer...however, sometimes, you just need to take a leap of faith. Can I find another job that pays what I'm making? Not in another field. Can I find another job? Absolutely. Are we going to be better off as a family? Without a doubt.
    -- Ruth

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    • in the end, you will make the money work, but you cannot make up for the lost time.
      Chris
      "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
      Unknown

      My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

      My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

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      • YEAH!!! About time!! So pleased to hear this. I can only imagine the weight off your shoulders. Promise me though, after your last last day at the old job you will take a minimum of a week to rest rest rest, take care of you and enjoy life.

        Excited about you all and the boys!! So, when will you meet them?
        Karin


        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

        What am I doing? Depends on the day.

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        • Right now, I have 2 weeks scheduled off. Poor DH. The whole thing is so very stressful for him. I would like to make it better, but I can no longer keep doing what I was doing. If the other job falls through (I don't think it will, but it is within the realm of possibility), and we get the boys, he will be very stressed. I'm confident that things will work out, however.

          If all goes well (and, in the state of NM, nothing goes as planned......), we have the BIP meeting next week (although I'm worried she'll call me back next week to schedule it and who knows how long before we actually have the meeting). Then, we have 72 hours to decide. If we say yes, then I think we finalize the paperwork, maybe meet the boys, and then get ready for them to move in. But, my social worker wasn't really sure, and I can't find a lot of details in my paperwork. This process is a bear, that's for sure. And, there will be so many things to do, including getting beds and what not for the kids. I'm a planner, and this system does not lend itself to planning.
          -- Ruth

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          • I am surprised that the hubs hasn't begged you to quit. It cannot be good for your long term health or your short term attitude. The house is paid off (Or very close) right? And not having a job, at least when you first get the boys (or whoever you end up with), cant be a bad thing, but having your current job would very likely be a bad thing.
            Chris
            "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
            Unknown

            My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

            My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

            Comment


            • DH does want me to quit, but he's so very scared about losing my income. Our house is paid off, as are our cars. I think the thing is multi-faceted, and we 6-12 months of cash savings. DH worries (for good reason, actually) that he will lose his job -- and then how will we support these boys that we are purposefully bringing into our house? He was also very, very, very poor growing up, and does not wish to repeat that experience. And, DH is very risk adverse and hates change, even if the change is ultimately good. It will ultimately turn out for the good, but in the short-term, is causes DH a significant amount of stress (and thus, me a lot of stress). Sometimes, though, I have to push for change, or we'd be stuck in a not-so-good scenario, because he'd often rather stay in the place he knows rather than a place he does not know. The real issue is that he often thinks I run over him and I feel like he isn't supportive. We eventually get to where we need to be, but boy, it can be a bit rough
              -- Ruth

              Comment


              • omg, been there many times, different scenarios but the same conversations. I admit that I do tend toward Pollyanna attitude that it will all work out (I call it optimistic, he calls it la la land), but he is cynical and pessimistic (he calls it realistic). In the end we balance, but oh my gosh the trip can be so very stressful. I feel for you right now.
                Chris
                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                Unknown

                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                Comment


                • It's funny, because when you describe your DH Chris, I see a lot of me. But, in this scenario, I'm more like you. I always believe things will turn out for the better. And, when I screw up (ahem, I do sometimes push for the wrong change), then we just correct course however that may be. DH is always worried that we won't be able to correct course and I'm too rash (sometime true). It's funny, because most people think we are a good balance, which is true, but while in the storm, it's hard to remember. At the end of the day, though, he's a totally fantastic husband and I know he's doing what he thinks is in the best interests of our family. That makes it much easier to deal with. But, it's wonderful to be able to vent to my internet friends..........
                  -- Ruth

                  Comment


                  • Ugh, guys, I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling to concentrate, struggling to want to do anything. I want my job to be over and the boys to be settled. I can barely think and yet so many thoughts are swirling in my mind. I feel intense sadness for these boys and their original family, sad and yet happy/excited at the same time for us. I think raising 3 teenage boys is going to be a roller coaster ride of the lifetime, particularly with whatever trauma they have experienced, and yet it feels so right (I say this now -- you are my sounding board for all of the rough times ahead). I feel that leaving my job is also so right, but I dread having to give my notice (on my new boss's first day...). They will try to convince me to stay, I will feel flattered, and then it will be more difficult to say firmly that I have made a decision for a different path in my life. I have also mentally checked out, but the case still needs to be completed (it gets filed a week from Tuesday!) and I cannot drop it until it is completed.

                    Sorry to go on and on about the same things...
                    -- Ruth

                    Comment


                    • I can see this being difficult. You just have to concentrate on the new chapter of your life, as a mom
                      Karin


                      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

                      What am I doing? Depends on the day.

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                      • Hang in there. You don't have to feel good about the next few days at work; you just have to do them and come out the other side. I'm so glad you are making this positive change for yourself and your family. I'm holding you in my thoughts, Ruth. All will be well!

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                        • Wow big changes are coming. Praying for you all.
                          Primal since 9/24/2010
                          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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                          • Today, I'm totally freaked out What were (are) we thinking? Three boys. Teenagers. From the foster care system. Holy cow...what have we gotten ourselves into? Holy cow, holy cow, holy cow.

                            And, I don't have beds. Or blankets. Or towels. Or whatever else I'm going to need (what do I need)????????????
                            -- Ruth

                            Comment


                            • You need:

                              Your presence as much as possible. Doing with and for them, and just being there, in the house.

                              Beds for them to sleep in. Buy boxsprings, mattresses, and plain metal frames. After a little bit, let them choose their headboards.

                              Bedding. More towels if you don't have enough.

                              Depending on the foster home they are coming from: toothbrushes, hairbrushes, toiletries, new pajamas. Underwear, socks.

                              Some fun, easy activity you can all do together. Board game, puzzles, crafty things, outdoor sport.

                              Some fun, easy activity they can do on their own, for mindless decompression in a new place. Books, coloring, handheld video game, legos. Put in their room(s) and introduced with a casual, 'these are for you if you want to check them out some time.'

                              Lots of good food. Don't be surprised if they hoard some in their room, and do not stop them from doing it. Do explain about crumbs, bugs, rodents if you find food in their rooms, and give them a metal tin(each) to keep things in if they want it.

                              Don't freak out. You can totally do this!

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                              • Great list Sabine! Most of what you need can be found at Goodwill, including activities and such. You might also check out some of the games that get played at camp for the campers to get to know each other for one of your activities to do together.
                                Chris
                                "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
                                Unknown

                                My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

                                My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day, with a little twist of anti-inflammatory mixed in.

                                Comment

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