But, you don't deserve that and it sucks to live like that. I hope you can find the strength to get out of that relationship. I can tell you, I'm 50 and finally found a guy who is so much like me in so many ways and we are so comfortable around each other and there is none of that eggshell BS at all--for him either. I dealt with nastiness, insecurity and jealousy and it sucks bad and it made me feel like I couldn't be myself at all. After a good amount of therapy (both for me and my fiance), we are in a healthy relationship where we are free to be who we are and it's really awesome.
You don't deserve a crappy relationship SB--he has issues, but you probably need to figure out why you attracted that kind of guy into your life. And sorry if I sound preachy--I've just been through it too many times and it's painful.