Five years ago I was going to school in Los Angeles, studying to become a film maker, acting in movies with my friends, playing music around town, and bodybuilding intensely. Things seemed to be going the way I had always imagined them to; my art was taking off and I was in the best shape of my life.
But I wasnít happy, and I didnít know why. I felt like crap. I was sleeping 16 hours a day and still feeling groggy. I was ornery. I was reclusive. I developed bellís palsy (half of my face stopped working). I had sharp muscle spasms. There were hives all over my body. And I was having unformed hallucinations regularly. There were many times I could not remember the names of long-time friends. Or think of simple single-syllable words. Or even remember where I was driving. I pulled out of the gas station with the hose still in my carís tank more times than I can count.
It got so bad that I couldnít write anymore. I couldnít work. I didnít want to play music in front of anyone. I didnít want to be seen. I moved back home to New York after graduation and proceeded to get worse. The doctors I went to had no answers for me. I was depressed, they said. Maybe it was all in my head. Or it was the lingering effects of losing my father. And then I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease.
That diagnosis was three years ago. They figure, from how bad my symptoms were and how elevated my anti-body count was, that I had acquired it sometime in high school. Now, after years of treatment, I am finally starting to feel some semblance of normalcy.
But my body has been ravaged by medication and inactivity. I ache all the time. Brisk walks wind me. Iím overweight. Iíve lost much of my muscle. And, worst of all, I have developed a whole slew of bad habits. I sleep too late. I eat too much (and poorly). And Iíve lost the will power I used to think of as an essential part of my personality. But I will get it back. My will. My body. My mind. All of it. And then some.
I stumbled upon Markís Daily Apple while looking into ways to restart your body clock. It immediately felt like home to me. You are the type of people I used to know when I was working out religiously. And the way Mark sees the world, what he is striving to attain, a lifestyle which is optimizing our body, is what I had been searching for all those years ago when I would spend hours in the gym and measure every bit of food that entered my mouth. Only this makes sense (even then I knew it was illogical to have to put so much work into making your body as it should naturally want to be).
I ordered The Primal Blueprint right away and devoured it. I started living Primaly at the beginning of December. Then I went home for Christmas and New Yearís. I stuck to my guns as much as possible but I ultimately lost my momentum. Now that Iím back, living in Tucson with my brother, Iím ready to grab the reins again. To take the challenge. I am going to need more than 30 days to undo the damage that was done to my body and my mind, but I hope that after that month I will be full steam ahead.
It begins tomorrow: Iím back on the diet. Iím beginning yoga again. Iím back in the gym. Iím hitting the pavement (at a moderate pace, of course). Iím climbing rocks. Iím biking around. Iím having a normal, active life once more. I do not know how long I will keep this journal up, but, for this first month, I am going to post every day. And Iíll put up my stats at the beginning, middle, and end of the endeavor.
I can do this. I know. But if (or when) I falter it will be nice to feel as if others are watching. Iíve learned that much from being sick: I can certainly do it alone. But not as well or as easily as when I am around other people.
Good luck to all of you in your own private struggles. And Iíll be back tomorrow.