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Releasing my inner siren - ErinF

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  • #16
    I went to the doctor to have her take a closer look at my symptoms AND my low lab scores and she said I'm "normal" and being cold, tired, irritable, moody, and having pretty significant hair thinning is normal. Really? I don't see many people walking around feeling/looking like me so I'm pretty sure I'm OUTSIDE of normal right now. I guess I'll just have to take things into my own hands and try to find a way to fix my problems naturally. I'm planning on seeing a naturopathic doctor soon, but I have to wait until my husband gets his big pay raise in the spring. If my insurance would cover that I'd definitely go now, but they don't so I can't.

    I've lost a few more pounds since my last post and I'm thinking it probably has to do with my IF every day from dinner until lunch the next day. I stopped watching my calories because every time I get back into logging what I eat and watching everything that goes into my mouth I seem to develop a weight loss stall. I'm sure I'm eating WAY under what I should be as far as calories go, but I don't care anymore. I'm finally losing weight. I've also started eating coconut oil on a daily basis. I've found that I can't really stomach the coconut oil that tastes strong so I'm using expellor pressed coconut to cook with right now. I've also decided that I probably need to cut back on the amount of meat and fat I'm eating and try to focus on getting in more veggies. I know it seems like the wrong way to do things according to primal, but I'm not eating enough veggies and in order for me to get what I need I have to cut back somewhere.

    I finally feel like I've found how to make Primal work for me. It's taken a few weeks and those weeks have been super frustrating, but I'm seeing results now. I've learned that bacon is a treat and not a staple for me. I love butter, but I don't need to drown everything in it and everything is better in moderation anyway. Sugar is not my friend and causes my face to break out like crazy if I eat it. Eggs are also not friendly to my tummy and dairy has always been a little hard for me to deal with so it looks like I'll either be cutting that out completely or eating it in very small quantities. I've also figured out that when I hit a weight loss stall, the best way to get things moving again is to eat more carbs for a few days in a row and then go back to low carb. This is how I got over my last stall and it worked, I lost 2 lbs in 2 days and have continued to lose since then. I'm finally down to 150 and will be in the 140's soon. As soon as I hit 135 I'll be getting my tummy tuck to get rid of the excess skin I have from my pregnancies.


    • #17
      I've decided I really just don't have any idea what I'm doing and apparently going to the forums and asking "newb" questions is pissing people off so I'm at a loss as to what I should do. I'm losing weight easily still, but I'm having some issues with IF. So far I've been eating dinner around 5:00 pm and fasting until lunch the next day at 12:00. I was watching my calories the last two days and I've only been eating about 900 calories each day because I'm only eating two meals. So, it looks like I'm basically starving myself which is probably the reason for the weight loss lately. I wonder if the weight I've lost has been a lot of muscle and fat rather than just fat. I need to get some input on this.


      • #18
        I'm not an expert however this is what i get from reading The PB... I think as long as you are getting enough protein first and foremost - and keeping your carbs under 150 gms (which i'm sure you are if your losing) then the numbers don't really matter as much. If you are full and not feeling deprived then that is probably what your body needs at this moment. If you are meeting your protein requirements you should not lose muscle mass.
        If your low energy is due to thyroid issues, then your calories needs may change once that is resolved to meet your more energetic levels.

        HOWEVER (grin) if your low energy is not thyroid related, it very well could be from a very low calorie intake... that could cause hair loss and some of the other symptoms you speak of.

        Did you have low levels of energy even when you were eating more calories?


        • #19
          I've actually had energy problems for over 10 years, it started in my teens and hasn't let up except for the first week after getting over the carb flu. I felt amazing for a week with tons of energy and then I went right back into the same fatigue I've had for years. This was well before I started IF though, so I don't think the two are related. The hair loss has been going on for a while also, no idea what's going on there. I've been fighting the doctors over getting my thyroid levels checked by a specialist and so far it's been a losing battle.

          I got the same thing out of the PB, but sometimes the info in the forums can be so different from what I've read. I'm getting the amount of protein I should and really feel like I'm eating well. I know once I get to a good weight I won't need to do IF as much if at all, but for now it's working.


          • #20
            Then honestly - i wouldn't worry about the calorie count. If you are not feeling deprived and hungry, then i would say "carry on...."
            I've heard that low thyroid is one of the most un-diagnosed disorders around... Dr.s rely too much on tests and not enough on patients symptoms... be persistent!!

            I don't eat breakfast either, mainly because i am just not hungry. For years i force fed myself in the mornings cause "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day...." lol


            • #21
              I've read that about thyroid disorders, my next step is to see a natural doctor, I've heard they are better at listening to the patient rather than reading results from a test. LOL at most important meal of the day, I always thought that saying was a little off since breakfast always made me feel sick, and yet I did the same thing. I also forced down gallons of water because we "need 8 glasses a day" completely ignoring the fact that my kidney pain was from drinking too much water. CW is so backwards sometimes!


              • #22
                I'm in the midst of thyroid testing myself. By the end of the month, I'll know for sure if I have adrenal fatigue or not. You can do mail order testing by spitting in tubes throughout a 24hr period, but that could be up to $200 depending on the cost of the test as well as any additional lab fees. If mine isn't covered by insurance, they said it'd be $120.

                I've been primal for 5 months now and my fatigue has been slow to change. Like you, I've been constantly fatigued since my mid-teens (the start of my depression & anxiety, too). Today is the first day I felt like I woke up easily and could drag myself out of bed to get to work on time with minimal effort! This occurred after nearly a week of getting to bed by 11pm as much as possible, but always getting at least 8 hours of sleep. I don't know what your sleep is like, but definitely make sure adequate sleep is something you can check off the "potential issues" list. It seems so basic, but if you spend a long time falling asleep or wake up in the middle of the night, or wait too late to go to bed, you probably won't get enough rest for your body. I've found it to be a really hard habit to change.

                I've heard that naturopaths are a lot better in regards to "I've done a lot of research and self-testing and think I have a problem" kind of things than regular doctors. There are always exceptions, of course. My doctor's office has a "holistic approach" so that makes it minimally easier, but they're still very resistant to my non-grain diet.
                Depression Lies


                • #23
                  Maybe I need to keep my hopes up that this diet will help with my thyroid issues. I'm finally going to see a specialist and hopefully he'll listen to me. I doubt things will change though. I'm looking into to doing some testing myself, but won't be able to pay the $$ for it for a while so I'm stuck dealing with what the insurance will pay for.

                  As far as sleep goes, my sleep is an absolute mess and it's nothing I can control or change right now. I have a 9 month old daughter that wakes up frequently at night. I'm only up and out of my bed for maybe 5 mins at a time, but some nights she can wake up as many as 4-5 times, especially when she's teething. A lot of nights she does sleep all the way through the night, but she always wakes up at least once because she has crawled out of her blankets in her sleep. I try to go to bed at 8:30 and don't wake up for the day until 6:00 or 7:00 if I'm lucky. I'm hoping the extra two hours will offset the times I have to wake up for the baby. If she's anything like my son she'll continue waking up like this until she's about 14 months so I have a while. Could my sleep really be affecting me that much? I never really thought about how my broken up sleep could be affecting me during the day. I never wake up feeling rested and I still feel like I could fall asleep in minutes any time during the day. I'm getting so sick of it!


                  • #24
                    Oh it definitely can affect you that much! Bodies aren't meant to go 24/7. Some people and studies claim that certain types of sleep cycles (sleeping 4 hrs at a time throughout the day or something like that) work better than others, and maybe that's true for some people, but your body needs rest. Having a young baby is going to make that difficult for you, and I do think that eating primal will help you, but it's probably going to be some time before you see the results Any chance of a baby vacation for a couple of nights?

                    The Definitive Guide to Sleep | Mark's Daily Apple
                    Depression Lies


                    • #25
                      I get some relief from my husband on the weekends, but even if he gets up to take care of the baby I still wake up when she cries and can't fall back to sleep until she stops crying. We don't even have a baby monitor in our room but I still hear every noise she makes. I'll just have to deal with this until she grows out of it, it's only about 9 more months or so. I'm ok with waiting for results, especially after dealing with this for about 10 years now, any light at the end of the tunnel, regardless of how dim, is still a light! I'll work on taking naps when I can to see if that helps out at all.


                      • #26
                        First it was no raw fruits and veggies, then it was no gluten, next came eggs and now dairy...can my body handle ANYTHING?? I don't mind going grain free so that part doesn't really bother me at all, the eggs thing may end up being temporary so that is also ok with me, but dairy too?

                        I've been feeling generally pretty good since I've started gluten free and then primal, my oral allergy syndrome has actually improved to where I can eat bananas, BANANAS! I've always know that eggs and I didn't agree, if I eat more than 1 egg a day I get a stomach ache and bloat up like a whale. I still ate them for years, after going primal my body said ENOUGH and I'm no longer able to eat them unless it's a boiled egg. Since making the switch to primal eating I've always had this slight feeling that dairy was causing problems. Of course I ignored it because I wanted to be ok with dairy, I love dairy! I recently got over a 5 day stomach flu episode and during that time I basically ate nothing. After I started feeling better I decided to give in and eat a little bit of ice cream. I ate literally two bites and I felt really uncomfortable, much like you would if you had overstuffed yourself. I was bloated and full and just felt icky. I figured it was the sugar. Then, for the last two nights in a row I had some gluten free spinach and artichoke dip, it was amazing, but I had the same experience. After just two bites I felt really full and bloated, then had some nausea and "intestinal issues" the next morning. Today I woke up feeling like a complete idiot, it wasn't the sugar or anything else, it was the dairy. I can gaurantee it. In fact, I just ate some vegetable lasagna (no noodles) and again, the full bloated feeling and tummy ache. I'm so sad. I love cheese, in moderation of course :P I thought I was really limiting dairy, but I went through my dinner list for the week and I'm really not. I have some type of cheese or cream in most of the recipes. I'm going to go two weeks of dairy free and see if it makes a difference. I wonder if this has anything to do with my thyroid symptoms? I know gluten can cause issues, maybe dairy can too?


                        • #27
                          I feel like I'm right back where I started. This is the third day in a row I've had a headache in the morning, and today the headache persisted through the day. I used to get headaches like this as a teen and I'm not really sure what has brought them on again. My skin is dry and feels as if it's going to start cracking and my hair is still falling out as much as it was right after I had my second baby. Again my fatigue has creeped up and I just don't have the energy to do much at all. I sit on the floor all day playing with the kids and some days I just don't want to pick myself up to do anything more than that. I feel like I should be able to fix all of these things with diet. Up until I started living Primal I was experiencing these same symptoms but worse. I know things have slightly improved, but it's not at 100% yet. I've been stuck at 150 lbs for over two weeks now, I'm slightly annoyed by this. And while I know it's not an overnight change, I just hoped by now I'd feel better than I do.

                          I know I need to get rid of dairy, I know it's what's causing me to feel like crap every day. I did away with gluten for the same reason so why is it so hard for me to let go of dairy? It's hard because my husband and kids still eat a lot of it, and if it's there I know eventually I'll give in and eat it. I'm not tempted by milk, I can't stand the stuff, but a lot of my recipes call for cream, butter, or cream cheese. My favorite meal is made with cream cheese, and so far I've not found a replacement for cream cheese. I tried looking for a list of foods that contain casein because I figure that's what's causing my problems, but I can't find a list and honestly I know casein is in everything. I don't know if I'm having a casein intolerance or if I'm lactose intolerant, either way dairy is out. I think this is the first time I've actually felt like I hated this way of eating. Yes, I'm pouting. Why do I want to continue to eat something I know causes me to feel like crap? It's like a freaking drug that I just can't quit, that alone should tell me something.

                          I really think I'm just having a bad day, I found out that my husband is getting deployed soon and I'm gonna be alone with the two kids at the worst time (baby will be in prime teething stage and toddler is at terrible two's). Luckily I'll be moving home to Utah so I can be with family while he's gone, but that just adds more stress to this way of living/eating because now I'll either have to cook two seperate meals or convince whoever I'm staying with to eat the way I do. If I end up staying with my Mom this will be a disaster, if I end up staying with my brother-in-law it will be slightly easier. Either way I feel like I'll have to do this alone and I hate being alone. However, maybe this is a good opportunity to get the kids on 100% gluten free diet, as it is I'm still feeding them bread and pasta, but have been slowly cutting it out.

                          Everything sucks today. I think I'll go workout, maybe I can force this frustration out of me through push-ups and squats.


                          • #28
                            I'm sure most people get to this point in a diet change, you know, the point where they feel they've lost their way or rolled down the giant hill they had just climbed. Now I'm at the bottom of the hill looking up at the top and screaming because I don't want to climb it again. I'm back to feeling tired all the time, and I know that is from not sleeping well. I can't fix that so I'll deal with being tired.

                            The one thing I'm having the hardest time with is quitting snacking. At first it was easy, I just wasn't hungry. Then I went on vacation over Thanksgiving and started snacking on small things. I pulled things together between then and Christmas, but Christmas vacation was the perfect storm of horribleness. Tons of goodies, snacks, alcohol, soda, and everything that is just wrong and gross. I ate a lot of it, even the sparkling cider which is basically all sugar. I felt like crap and it took an entire week for my intestines to recover from that train wreck. Here I am now, over two weeks later and I'm constantly snacking. If I eat breakfast I end up snacking all day. I can't seem to get my hunger under control. I took this as a sign that I needed to back off on the daily dinner to lunch fasting and started eating breakfast, but eating in the morning always makes me sick. Also, I developed this horrible stuffy nose while visiting family in Utah. I figured it must be allergies, but here I am back in Cali for two weeks and I'm still dealing with mucous draining down my throat and a constant stuffy nose. I still haven't given up dairy and I'm wondering if this is the cause. I love dairy and I don't want to give it up. AH!! Tomorrow I'm going on a dairy fast for three weeks. I have to see if that is the cause. I need to feel normal again.

                            I've started using for fitness and I can feel massive changes in my muscle tone. I have little over 6 weeks until my tummy tuck surgery to fix my abdominal muscles and I want to have some muscle tone to show off afterward. The doctor said I should work on building up the muscle and strength in my abs because it helps in healing. I don't care if a tummy tuck is or isn't primal, I'm no longer going to have people ask me when I'm due to have my baby and that is probably the most exciting thing I've ever had to look forward to. My abs are stretched out so far that they literally stick out so much that I appear pregnant. I hate it and I'm finally going to look normal. I need to tone up though. I've been uber frustrated about my not gaining any strength with my push-ups though. I've been doing "girl" push-ups and I feel like I'm going backward in progress. I want to advance to normal push-ups, but I can barely make it through 6 before I can't do anymore. Maybe it's my form?
                            Last edited by ErinF; 01-15-2012, 08:51 PM.


                            • #29
                              What is going on with me??

                              Things have been crazy, over the holidays my weight dropped to 140, which put me past the 20 lb mark. Woot! Christmas was a disaster, with all the snacking and junk food thrown at me that I so happily accepted. Yuck. Now I'm back up to 147 and just floating there. The crazy thing is, I'm craving everything. I want to eat crap, and that is totally not like me. It's been a struggle to not make a bowl of salty popcorn on a daily basis. I'm not really craving wheat or gluten related foods, but anything salty and crunchy in my sight is gone within minutes. I don't understand why I can't stop this snacking madness. Will power alone is not enough, I need a metal cage!! I've been more productive lately and really busy, so snacking because of boredom is out. I thought it was that time of the know...ugh, and it is, but where is it?? My husband has a vasectomy so there's no way I can be pregnant...ok there's a slight chance. OMG that would be the end of my life. My baby is turning 1 and I can't wait! I don't do well with babies. We only wanted two kids, we have two kids, things are good. My husband is about to leave on a deployment and all I can think about is me being pregnant with two kids to take care of alone. Calm husband thinks I'm going crazy, but I have some suspicious symptoms pointing to pregnancy. I know the answer to this is screaming PREGNANCY TEST, easy peasy, but I can't get myself to take one because what if it says I am pregnant? I'll have to face my worst fear!! I knew I should have had my tubes tied at the same time my husband had his vasectomy. /cry

                              Ok rant over, but really what is going on with these cravings? I've never felt such an intense need to snack on everything salty and savory before. I usually want salty snacks versus fruity snacks, but this is rough. I was doing awesome with my daily fasts from dinner to breakfast every day so I don't know whats going on. I just downed a bowl of chili, and earlier I ate two boiled eggs, a bowl of tomato soup, and cheese...tons of cheese. In fact, that is the source of my craving, its dairy. I've been wanting to eat tons of cheese lately. I wonder what's going on with that o.O

                              On a better note, I finally got an appointment with an endocrinologist and he ordered the thyroid antibodies test as well as one of those 24 hour iodine pee tests. I suspect my iodine levels are low because I've never bought iodized salt before. I didn't even know there was more than just salt, I always say iodized and thought it was full of some kind of freaky chemical so I bought the non-iodized kind. The doctor thinks this is hilarious, or that I'm crazy, possibly both.

                              I need a nap today.


                              • #30
                                I'm completely out of control and I have no idea what's happening to me. Yesterday I caved and bought a chocolate doughnut. I don't even like doughnuts, but of course I inhaled it in the parking lot of the grocery store. What is this? I don't do this kind of shit. This is freaky stuff that hoarders and mentally sick people do. Why do I feel like I have to hide a doughnut. It's not like my mommy is going to punish me. Regardless of the reason, I did it. And later than night we were invited to a neighborhood party. There were tons of primal friendly food so I shouldn't have had any problem at all, but I gave in and ate a piece of garlic bread. To be honest, the bread was nasty. It was dripping with some kind of oil and a very fake tasting garlic spread. Yuck. Why did I keep eating it? I didn't want to offend the host, and after my weird doughnut attack I figured there was no where to go from there, but down.

                                Then today I actually had my first experience with binging. I had to go to the store. No, I chose to go to the store to buy some chocolate syrup for my son. This was what caused everything to spiral downward. I don’t normally just give in to my son’s every whim, especially when it comes to junk food, but I was not in a mental state to fight this one out. While I was at the store I bought everything I didn’t need. The problem was my going to the store hungry, when I knew I shouldn’t have gone. I was stressed and I was hungry, there was no way I was going to win. I left the store with a box of almond nut thins, grasshopper cookies, three doughnuts, chocolate sauce, and a box of ritz crackers for the kids. By the end of the day I had eaten two doughnuts, 9 grasshopper cookies, and at least 12 nut thin crackers and those were just the snacks I ate, that doesn’t even include my lunch (which was not primal friendly at ALL).

                                I’ve never felt like this before. I was out of control, it was like my mind had been taken over by some food demon. I felt sick, I was completely full, but I kept stuffing food into my mouth. It actually scared me. Then I sat down and cried. After the episode was over I decided to go over everything that had happened and find the trigger. I found it. It actually started years ago, and everything has finally bubbled to the surface. Two years and two months ago my son was born. While this was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, it was also the end of my sleeping as much as I wanted. My son never slept through the night. I was waking up at least twice every night to either feed him or pull his blankets back over him. 14 months after my son was born, my daughter was born. Just as I was finally getting my nights back, things started all over again. My daughter is now 1 and I'm still waking up at least twice every night. Some nights she'll sleep long enough for me to get a 6 hour stretch in, but most nights I'm only able to get no more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. She's growing up and growing out of needing to wake at night. I couldn't ask my husband for help because he was waking up at 4 am for work. I had to deal with this on my own, and I was happy to.

                                To add to the stress of not getting any sleep, my husband took a job out of state and I/we had to leave our family and friends. Once we settled into our new life in a new state I realized I had absolutely no support system to help me. I was no longer able to drive to my mom's house for help during the days where I had absolutely no energy. I was tired, lonely, and frustrated. For the last month my husband has been getting ready to go on a deployment. We knew this deployment was coming and I felt like I was prepared. I had been through a deployment with him once before so I knew what to expect. Things have been fine, I've been able to pack the house by myself and keep up the house cleaning and make sure dinner was made. Then the perfect storm hit. Both of my kids started teething. My daughter started pushing 6 teeth at once and my son's last set of molars started coming in. Both kids have been crying, fussing, and acting up. My stress levels are at overload right now. While I'm dealing with teething I'm also having to set up living arrangements in Utah, so I can be close to family while he's gone. And now that I'm down to the last few days of my husband being here, I can really feel the stress. It's overwheling and I almost feel like I can't bear anymore. I just can't keep going like this.

                                10 days after I get to Utah I'm going to have an abdominoplasy to fix the severe separation in my abs and get rid of a lot of saggy skin and stretchmarks. I've worked really hard to get down to the weight I'm currently at. I started at 170, with a goal of 130 before my surgery. I'm floating around 140 right now. Every time I get in the 130's I start to eat like crap. It's almost like I don't want to get to that goal. I'm sabatoging my own weight loss and I have no idea why. I wanted to be closer to my ideal weight before my surgery and I'm just not getting there. My husband thinks everything will line up once I get my sleep back to normal. I agree, but to me it just feels like no end in sight. I've never felt depressed, but I can honestly say that after today I feel like there's something going on that I just can't get a handle on. I hate my life today, I just want to go to bed and not wake up. I know tomorrow is a new day and another chance to do things right, but from where I'm sitting it just feels like I'm stuck in a tornado of horrible-ness and I keep spinning around and around with no way out.