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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • cameras help me discover untapped depths of bodily discomfort

    i feel so very uncomfortable and discouraged right now. i am not honey boo boo, i do not gleefully jiggle what i have.

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • That thinspo photo made me think "Why would you want cake between your thighs?"
      Depression Lies

      Comment


      • Originally posted by zoebird View Post
        nice. i'm going to australia tomorrow.
        A guy that used to work for me had a girlfriend in Australia. When he would visit her he would always promise to bring back a kangaroo scrotum change purse for me but he never did. It's always made me wonder, if I had given him better ratings on his evaluation, would my change be jingling in a kangaroo's ballsack? If someone gave me a Sacagawea dollar, I could have said, "I'm gonna put this in my ballsack!" Or if someone gave me that elusive state quarter I've been searching for I could have exclaimed "Straight to the scrotum with this one!" I'll never know; I'm saddened because I really did want one.
        If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
          That thinspo photo made me think "Why would you want cake between your thighs?"
          Ever hear of Sploshing...
          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

          Comment


          • yeast infection inducing sexytimes, straight to the scrotum *brow wagglewagglewaggle*

            i made a passable looking liver mousse. key word is 'looking'. my run downedness made me miss cooking them by the expiration date so it tasted weird, hence i dumped it out for whatever wildlife wanted a shot of vitamin A & Bs

            i still have calf liver in the freezer. and the canned oysters i cooked the other night had the consistency of liver. so, close enough. and watching diners drive ins and dives. won't someone think of the children and cook me all this food?
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • i am not ashamed to say that i'm watching here comes honey boo boo and i like the show so far

              but i'm fairly sure my baby is judging me heavily, what with the 'smh' and 'no' don't watch and :| faces

              i wanted to spend some time with him earlier but.. my body. so sore and tired and runned over feeling. 'i wanna talk to youuuuu but i feel bad. i wanna talk to youuuuu, but i can't take it anymore i'm gonna lay down. i wanna talkto youuuuuuu, but i'm gonna nap'

              he called to make sure i didn't sleep past the alarm too much, i have alarm sleep turning off down to a science. this time i didn't even change positions and my arm turned it off like it was possessed

              i think it may be a whole other month before i can squat again
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • Originally posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
                A guy that used to work for me had a girlfriend in Australia. When he would visit her he would always promise to bring back a kangaroo scrotum change purse for me but he never did. It's always made me wonder, if I had given him better ratings on his evaluation, would my change be jingling in a kangaroo's ballsack? If someone gave me a Sacagawea dollar, I could have said, "I'm gonna put this in my ballsack!" Or if someone gave me that elusive state quarter I've been searching for I could have exclaimed "Straight to the scrotum with this one!" I'll never know; I'm saddened because I really did want one.
                kangaroo scrotum purses and pouches

                youuuuuu're welcome
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • we're listening to this tonight



                  and i just went to first base with myself, it seems that the iodine in my multis and pink salt and seaweed wraps made at least one of my larger breast tissue lumps shrink. and i haven't grown and lost a new cherry angioma in a while. i haven't eaten lugols in a while so i guess the vituhmins were enough for that

                  i was about to get teary while on the phone with bay again. explained it out that he lets me relax when i go around every day all tough cookie, so he's my glass of milk. that i soak in. and turn mushy and crumbly.

                  AND THEN HE MADE FUN OF ME! d:<

                  if i didn't like him so much.. POW

                  i vacuumed some just to loosen up, and it worked kinda, but i got overly hot for some weird reason. and still sore. so i said eff it and laid down as i said. the dogs looked pitifully at me so i let them up on the bed and them rolling and wallowing around on me would have been fine if not for the fact that they kept coming back to lick my nose and mouth

                  i'm trying to play sudoku, not make out

                  even if i am in bed with 3 hairy men

                  but i like the hippie toothpastes, my teeth feel cleaner. like there isn't a buffered layer of slick the regular toothpaste left. but that lack of buffered slick also makes my gums feel a bit abused, even with a soft bristle brush. so i guess i'll use a baby toothbrush or sumn

                  i did buy strawberry flavored kid toothpaste once. the rationale went something like this;

                  I'M 30 YEARS OLD AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

                  it was a taste disappointment, which is what i get for buying 'healthy' toothpaste. the happy dancing strawberries were a lie
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • before you came into my life i missed you so bad i missed you so bad i guess you know that *hip thrust thathathrust*

                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Heh!
                      I saw that video and posted it before I saw that you had posted it.
                      It gave me much needed smiles today.
                      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                      Comment


                      • you should subscribe to him so you get the occasion extra happy surprise too

                        and muh sale items from urban decay came in. i was almost as excited as a jaded kid too old for santa finding a big box at christmas

                        and i'm eating another giant salad. and it's good. i ate a pill finally, that was good too
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • hi. back around and still reading your journal. just not witty.

                          Comment


                          • welcome baaaaack

                            now where's muh present??

                            he's a cute kid:


                            the boys love avocado. strange, but okay you little weirdlings, eat up

                            i'm tired of taking care of plants so i'm trying to think of humane ways of letting them die natural deaths. not all of them. but some.

                            cookie escaped approximately 10,378.81 times today. he stayed close tho, and came running happily when i called, so he only got a bath as a punishment. and probably more avocado later. i'm a horrible, abusive mother

                            i'm in a pissy mood today. my hormones are all over the place and everything is bothering me. i even yelled GODDAMMIT with bay on the phone. he's not a curser so i stopped 90% of my outward cursing

                            i also have chicken leg bones making broth. i had the legs for breakfast. it's recycling. i'm a recycler.
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • we are also chicken recyclers. eat the chicken, boil the bones off, use the broth, compost the bones (bokashi and then regular compost). keeps right on going.

                              i'm looking at making more money. it's thrilling.

                              Comment


                              • i burned mine >.>

                                the pot was full, i started watching shows then went internetting, next thing i know i smell something burning

                                meh.. but i came back with that report as an excuse to post this



                                and according to my lipton teabag wrap, i'm supporting tea growers

                                i was under the assumption that by buying a tea product i would favorably look upon and support tea and the people who grow it

                                apparently i was wrong

                                also, since the lipsticks i got at the UD sale were so nice i wanted to buy more. but there's this little thing called a budget i need to be on, and it's a pretty tight one now

                                last night muh baby was trying to tempt me into watching one of his fayvrit shows, so he said 'it's snarky and awesome, like you'

                                you silver tongued devil, i'll watch anything you say
                                Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-11-2012, 09:49 PM.
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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