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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • #31
    OK, I shouldn't be laughing, but SADDEST. FACE. EVER. It's heart-breaking when they give you the cold shoulder treatment. Except when mine sneaks a peek over his shoulder to check to make sure I'm seeing him give me the cold shoulder treatment. And then I crack up.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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    • #32
      they're such big babies, the shunner only looked at me when i reached in to unhook him and then he stayed under there for at least 10 more minutes and when he crawled out he looked so shell shocked lol

      he needed recovery time *eyeroll*
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

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      • #33
        Love the alliteration of your title!! YOUR DOGS ARE SO STINKIN CUTE!! I have 2 yappy ones as well. They own all they see.LOL
        Karin


        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

        What am I doing? Depends on the day.

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        • #34
          just finished your journal..love it!
          Karin


          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

          What am I doing? Depends on the day.

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          • #35
            yaaaay we love you too

            i realized something this evening. i am afraid to try sprints. will i look pathetic? will it not work? will i fail? or will it work? will it make me look smexy? or will i have a strangely shaped body due to whacked out hormones? what then? will i have to go to a plastic surgeon and get hip and breast implants to look more like a girl? will the transgendered women in there look at me going 'smh, stupid'? will i start the slide down a slippery slope to plastic surgery addiction and walk away, when i'm 80, with giant fake boobs and butt and face?

            but on the other hand, that will make me pretty popular in the nursing home

            but on the other other hand, do i want to be popular among the 80+ crowd?

            is it worth it? or would i be not remiss in joining a BBW modelling site, to get paid for eating steak lustily?
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • #36
              bloodorchid, I am a contender for the weakest sprinter on the face of the planet. I "sprinted" up the very moderate hill in my neighborhood the other day. The total hill is 0.08 miles long (I google earth'd it when I got home, because I felt like a bad-ass thinking my sprints were long, ha!) It goes by the mailbox. I think the people checking their mail were laughing at me. I thought I was hauling ass, but in retrospect, it was probably more like a normal person jog, but with me laboring an awful lot. Despite all of that, I still felt awesome about myself afterwards, since I did go and run those 4 sprints, and those hypothetically laughing people went home to their TV's and couches and didn't run at all.

              The moral of the story: do it!
              My Primal Journal

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              • #37
                nike keeps telling me that too.. i guess i could just flip off any laughers, that would make me feel better
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

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                • #38
                  i... am cranky. my back hurts, my ovary hurts, my dogs want me to play, i want to act like cujo at everyone

                  without the whole bashing my brains in at the end

                  i hurt, and i would like someone to fight with me so i can yell a while. it'll be like a boxing match, it's not personal and maybe a handshake after the concussion heals

                  but really, a prolonged back massage would be awesome and if i were rich i would have someone on retainer with excellent tips so they would stay there

                  i had an orange soda while grocery shopping, but broccoli slaw and green tea after. it doesn't even out but it could have been worse

                  dammit my back hurts
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                    i hurt, and i would like someone to fight with me so i can yell a while.
                    Gay Panda is trying to think of something inflammatory to say so that you can yell in print at me to make yourself feel better. Panda fail.

                    I'm sorry that everything is hurting! :::sending psychic back massage:::
                    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                    • #40
                      thank you for the psychic back massage it, along with a handful of pain pills and an hour of electro shock therapy calmed my s--- down some

                      but if one were to feel obliged in throwing inflammatory remarks at me, one could say 'you have a little butt' which would receive a quick, enraged and affronted reply of 'i do NOT!' and the yelling could commence
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

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                      • #41
                        new goal: the splits
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

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                        • #42
                          being sickly and mostly in bed for a few days in a row made me a bit winded walking after the dogs outside

                          that's pitiful

                          so are the boys, they got in all kinds of nettles so i foresee an hour long bit of not mutual boredom brushing them out. they love being brushed.

                          but they had the bestest time so my grumbling is to myself

                          netflix has a plethora of strange exercise dvds so of course they're now in my queue

                          the boys are trying to eat the nettles out of each others' coats. yeah, good luck with that

                          my tastes in workouts lean toward bellydance and 'exotic' dance. not just because at my core i'm rather slutty, but i'm hoping they teach me to move like a woman. well, more like one any way. i'm fairly certain the extra testosterone went head to head with the estrogen and resulted in a stalemate which resulted in me having a slutty core and asexual exterior

                          god i do love those run on sentences

                          i look at a put together lady and i don't get it. what kind of hoodoo is she doing with all that girl stuff and eyeshadow.

                          i look at a man and i don't see a sexual object until i get to know and like him well

                          for some reason that just reminded me of the bad ex feeding me a strawberry then wiggling it on my teeth and, annoyed, say 'you're such a control freak'. strange.

                          anyways, had 2 days of crap food, more than ready for real food again and to continue my love affair with cream cheese

                          mmmmmmm <3
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

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                          • #43
                            Are the boys pomeranians? I have one at home (5 more months til I can enjoy his company!) And they are yappy little f***ers but TOTALLY worth it.

                            also, ever tried zumba? It always makes me feel sexy, especially when I look around the room at all the other awkward ladies trying to make sexy faces in the mirror, and realize that all of us are failing in our attempts.

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                            • #44
                              the boys are indeed pomeranians, and they are indeed yappy little f-ers haha it works out for me though, because i like knowing when something/one is there to bark at, and they generally listen when i say hush

                              as for zumba.. those infomercials fill me with a longing of girlness. those women look so sexy! agh!

                              i'm just stuck in the mindset of 'i'm so uncoordinated, i can't do that, herp derpity derp'
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                haha the videos can be daunting because everyone in them is so damn coordinated and in good shape, but if you go to a class at a local gym it's mostly a bunch of middle aged women who are just there to have fun and not super coordinated.

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