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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • you remind me of an oreo, of course i can't turn away
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

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    • People often compliment me on my creamy center.
      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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      • beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • cooked apples.. weren't that good. i guess i was supposed to dump a bag of sugar on it or something.

          i am more than ready to get the dogs shaved. they've all grown up into men. men who shed like crazy all over the floor, my clothes, me and the world.

          bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy wake up now

          i wanna talk to youuuuuuuuu
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • i did (minimal) googling on my permabroken back. it's mildly depressing. since the specialist said surgery was out, i get to discount all the 'talk to your dr about this cement goo', which leaves me with.. pilates, tai chi and copious amounts of pills

            but only for a month or two, then talk to your dr about surgical options

            whoops, my expiration date on that is gone

            yeah i'm a sad kid right now. a new muscle below my shoulder was screeching and yanking earlier. but my one saving grace is that i think my rod is over the compression so i won't gradually slump over

            yes this is more tmi for the internets. i mean, really, who the fuck cares. my grandkids might come up to me one day and say 'wow gramma you really said lol? how cute' before zooming off on their hover boards with jaws part 38 in 4-d downloading into their brains

            i would have tried to get them to watch something more 'educational', but kids these days just want to rot their brains with blood and gore and can you help me in my hoverround, i'm playing bingo with dottie today

            i mean seriously, 2 weeks ago i did bent over rows with 15 effing lb effing dumbbells. FIFTEEN. and. it. kilt. my. broke. parts.

            am i being lazy when i just wander around or am i being self preservative? cause i don't effing know! do you know? cause i don't know!

            i don't have the patience for pilates and tai chi, i've tried. and yoga makes me cry. don't ask. and i've got apile of pictures beside me from various family functions and i feel like i should get a black sharpie and cross out the dead faces

            maybe i should start sacrificing to the dark lords to bring them back and keep others from dying. if i actually thought that would work i'd seriously consider and study it.

            no of course i don't care for the natural order of things, why do you ask

            anyways. soul rending pilates before sleep or sudoku before sleep.. hm..
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • i did some full body stretching and then sudoku before sleep. good enough. a muscle relaxer before sleep and a pain pill after sleep and i'm still stiff and achey. i ate mom's spaghetti. i bought some herbs and flowers today. i still haven't started my seeds. sometime between last night and today cookie's entire neck scruff became one big tangle and he shed a buttload of hair literally all over the floor, so more brushing and knot trimming and doggy french kiss avoiding

              he looks pitiful, his entire coat is uneven

              someone uploaded their copy of the butt bible onto youtube so i'm looking at it

              lower level's 1-3
              The Butt Bible Lower Level 1 - YouTube

              The Butt Bible Lower Level 2 (full video) - YouTube

              The Butt Bible Lower Level 3 - YouTube

              there is a surprising amount of content on those vids, i am well pleased and as such will not mind spending 18$
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • shortly after writing that i thought to myself 'what the hell am i thinking' and just wrote the routines down. pauline nordin cracks me up tho 'this is how we make love to the butt'

                stretch routine before bed again, still stiff and achey with pain pills. i had a nightmare where i was standing at one end of a dark hall and toddler me was standing at the other. for some reason it was terrifying.
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • That's because toddlers are terrifying.

                  I'm sorry you're in pain Would a back-cracking bear-hug be of any help?
                  http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                  Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                  And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                  • if you could put your knee in my upper back and pull my shoulders that would be awesome
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                      stretch routine before bed again, still stiff and achey with pain pills. i had a nightmare where i was standing at one end of a dark hall and toddler me was standing at the other. for some reason it was terrifying.
                      Oh, that was me.

                      No need to be alarmed, I'm just wandering around in your sleeping head for... no real reason that you need concern yourself with.

                      Nothing.

                      Nevermind.

                      I never wrote any of this.

                      Or hit "post quick reply".

                      Comment


                      • well if you find what you're looking for, let me know. god knows what all's in that place

                        butt bible level 1. did it. jesus.
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          well if you find what you're looking for, let me know. god knows what all's in that place

                          butt bible level 1. did it. jesus.
                          Pauline's a nut. A hot hott hawt nut.

                          I remember reading on her blog or somewhere that she gets thai massage 3x a week to help counter act all the damage her training does. Somehow I found that endearing.

                          Y'know, beyond the obvious...

                          Comment


                          • lady works for that donk, no lie

                            i think you should write her something of a fan letter. she may be looking for just the right sadist to match her inherent masochism
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                              lady works for that donk, no lie

                              i think you should write her something of a fan letter. she may be looking for just the right sadist to match her inherent masochism
                              LMAO..."oh, a boy can dream can't he?"...*looks*wistfully*

                              Comment


                              • a boy can dream *nodding*

                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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