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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Hey ya!
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

    Comment


    • Originally posted by excursivey View Post
      Puuuuuuuggggggggs!!!!
      god they're so fat, it can't be very healthy but i love it

      Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
      Pugs as Easter eggs are very cute!

      He loves his hammer is a great color. I like dark eyes and light lips, so I'd love that as a lipstick. If I wore lipstick. Which I don't because I can feel it.

      Ut oh on the babysitted dog. I hope that works out and the owners come back.
      haha.. i wound up calling and with a chipper voice asked when a good time to bring pup home would be. no more clingy growling

      Originally posted by excursivey View Post
      Hey ya!
      hi

      i used to hate the word fat and would not say/type it or any of it's synonyms. it would be physically uncomfortable to try. it was a 'manifestation of internalized shame'? those sound like the right big words. but i forced some over exposure of fat hate sites and it seems to have cured it over a little bit of time.

      so i'm fat, wheat carbs keep me fat. i can't even tell you how impossible it would have been to even try to write that without an emotional breakdown a few years ago.

      it's partly why the whole 'i'm fat and perfectly healthy!' gets on my nerves now, like no shit, you're young, that shit's gonna snowball on you in a few years. i was healthy..ish up until the moment i wasn't then a whole new slew of problems hit me at once.

      on the flipside, completely discounting someone just for being fat also grinds my nerves. i once saw a post that said 'i think all fat people are unintelligent because only someone unintelligent would get fat'. oh my god no.. just no..

      i guess my main motto in life is 'don't be a dumb asshole cause no one likes dumb assholes'

      or, to be more politically correct, 'the arrogance of youth makes my ass twitch'

      but off that tangent, my appetite has been crazy the last several days and mainly all i've wanted is thin crust pizza. 'look at that meat, look at those sweet taters' no! i want pizza dammit all! and i don't want the hassle of making that delicious cauli crust, so buy that 5 dollar frozen one i like! NOW!

      i am so aggravatingly hung up on it and i don't know why.

      but i had steak and salad last night. and ruined it with buttered rolls. that i had more of while catching up on tv shows. i am so detrimentally in love with bread i may as well get hypnotized into hating it. which probably wouldn't work anyway but at least i'll have tried.

      i just sat here and literally thought that i can work through terror to end a bad relationship but i can't not get and eat bread. this is idiotic. like.. no words level of idiotic.

      siiiiiiiiigh.. i'm an idiot

      my new subtle, no-makeup makeup, every day look



      smile for the camera, birthday boy!



      and..

      Last edited by bloodorchid; 04-16-2015, 12:10 PM.
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • I'm so glad that you resolved the dog-sitting thing! I was concerned. Not worried, because despite what you thing, you are a very capable woman. Just concerned. Having another dog foisted upon one can be a bit of a bitch.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
          I'm so glad that you resolved the dog-sitting thing! I was concerned. Not worried, because despite what you thing, you are a very capable woman. Just concerned. Having another dog foisted upon one can be a bit of a bitch.
          For reelz kid. That being said I almost adopted a buddy for my little Knox this weekend. Boyfriend and I stopped into the local pet shop to pick up supplies for his daughter's guinea pig and there was a small dog rescue group there with the most adorable little dogs. There were 2 little Knox like terrier sorts who just melted my heart. Boyfriend had to talk me down.

          Hope you are well!
          Breathe. Move forward.

          I just eat what I want...

          Comment


          • i am skeptical on my capabilities, it's true

            and i saw a gigantic st bernard puppy while out and about and it tested my will power not to try and take him for my own, he was such a giant slobbery teddy bear

            i would like to have a love affair with my medicine. i'm trying to ride it out for the most part but i would love to take them as i wanted and disregard the directions and the knowledge that some of my deceased family members died due to complications from medication.

            i'm not addicted, it just hurts that much.

            it's been a few weeks of 24 hour aches. i'm pretty over it.

            i've been trying to pet and talk to the boys more because i've been very much not in the mood to talk or coo or pet or play, i just give them treats because they're easy like that and i don't want to make the effort of sitting on the floor.

            aside from frozen sweet potato fries, they also love the breath fresheners that smell like greenery. it makes them happy.

            i've been weaning off bread the last several days. last night i got full of meat and veggies, a few hours later i mixed honey in yogurt. and i still wasn't sated til i had a couple of rolls. i'm not lowering carbs yet so i don't understand this. unless it's what i believe, that my body is a brat and pitches a fit til it gets what it wants.

            i'm pretty sure that's the only reason, it's the most obnoxious one.

            okay i feel guilty and am going to go play in the floor now

            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
              i'm glad you enjoy it, honestly i feel like i'm a really boring person haha everybody's off doing all kinds of things and i'm just sitting here petting a dog
              I feel the same. But at least you are funny as hell.

              Sorry you haven't been feeling really good. Hope it's getting better.
              Breathe. Move forward.

              I just eat what I want...

              Comment


              • St. Bernard puppies are hard to resist.



                My body is a brat also.
                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                B*tch-lite

                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                Comment


                • i slept last night, after not sleeping much over the weekend. so yesterday this post would have been super depressed and discouraged. now, it's slightly less so!

                  i have a dr appt soon. i'm going to ask if there are any non addictive, libido non-touching mood elevators. because being in pain for so long is wearing my happy mood down to nothing. if there aren't real live happy pills, i guess i'll finally have to seriously think about buying the mood cure. or start making and eating ecstasy. i'm sure google will tell me how this is done.

                  the relationships subreddit is pretty much my soaps. bay laughs because it so obviously puts me in a ragey mood but i can't stay away from it, especially the update posts. his personal theory is i'm addicted to being mad i think i'm addicted to.. being mad. it's like a train wreck, but i can't stay away from the liar, cheater and abuser posts. i could try and color it up like 'it's therapeutical!' but it's not. it's really not. i always want to say 'why the hell are you still there?!' with my 20/20 hindsight super powers, but i always know, from experience, it's not gonna happen until they've had enough.

                  'thank you, captain hindsight! you're my heeeeeeero'

                  i don't really know what to write here. nothing of note has taken place and i'm just killing time til i go say hi to dr so-and-so, whose name i've currently misplaced in my brain. i need more sleep i think. if names were faces i'd never forget what to call them.

                  i even dreamed once that i forgot what one of my dogs name was. like i watched you splat out of your mom's butt i should know the answer to this, damn.

                  bear's been codependently yipping at the door to come in. no sir, you enjoy that fresh air and morning sunshine whether you want to or not.

                  but i finally let him in. and naturally, he's now my shadow once again and all is right in his world.
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • Wellbutrin.

                    Comment


                    • Cannabis.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by heregoesnothing View Post
                        Wellbutrin.
                        i have been on many depression pills, that was one of them. while i can say that for me it was a mood enhancer, it was not a good mood. i think maybe if i had stayed on that longer than i was i would have wound up on the FBI's most wanted.

                        rampant dick/boob punching has got to be illegal after a certain number of victims.

                        Originally posted by WaylandC View Post
                        Cannabis.
                        if i ever got a prescrip for that i'd ask for a copy to frame
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Ah, makes sense. And definitely not recommended if you have any degree of anxiety either. I hope you find something that works for you bloodorchid

                          Comment


                          • Cannabis can be good or bad depending on one's reaction. I'm guessing that in a state that still considers it a felony, one could get anxiety from it. The only issue would be the munchie factor, but that's a whole lot less of an issue than it was lo those many years ago. It's such a better drug now.

                            Hope that you and the doc can find something that helps.

                            Oh, yeah, I almost forgot - thanks for the splatting out of butt mental visual.
                            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                            B*tch-lite

                            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                            Comment


                            • I live in a legal state, and cannabis can be taken in many forms. Never done it myself, but it has helped a lot of people I know, none of whom fit the stereotype of a marajuana user. Despite being legal, it is still pretty controversial. If I were suffering, I would try it.
                              My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                              Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

                              Comment


                              • well.. we're back in time

                                what amazingly interesting things have happened lately? nothing. sorry! but nothing. there's been the usual soreness, and depression. when showering seems like an insurmountable task, you know you're in a low. i did have a few days of regular sleep, but that's over already.

                                but when bay told me his dad thought i was beautiful, that was a very bright spot. it was completely unexpected. so of course i respectfully told him his dad was a liar

                                i had subway yesterday for my movie night. depression eating. so illogical, i know how terrible it is, especially now that i'm a finger stabber. but i can't explain it, or explain the overriding pull of it. is this how people lose their feet? having complete total self-blinders?

                                but between breakfast and supper today i'm ranging about 50 carbs, no depression over rides, food's good, i'm full, weight was still lower this morning after the horror show of food yesterday so bloating may be minimal.

                                i feel no change with the upped dosage zoloft, dizzy/sleepy-wise

                                i did finish a book though. rocking on the porch with flowers around me and a breeze and the smell of honeysuckle was nice and i wish it could feel like that forever, maybe i'd even finish more books.

                                i lent gramma game of thrones haha. she lent me this easy read series of funny detectives and i lend her a punch to the face intensity of a book in comparison.

                                we both used to be voracious readers and now we both have trouble starting a book. maybe this one will suck her back in.

                                waka looks miniscule with super short hair. he kind of reminds me of a colt with his long skinny legs and narrow torso.

                                i've never been much of a simpsons fan, but i enjoyed this. cause i'm a rick and morty fan.



                                and i'm never gonna not like this video.

                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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