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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • i'm weak enough that menial chores make my heart flutter, which is always interesting but annoying. i'm ready to be better. gramma thinks my voice sounds terrible enough that i should be on antibiotics. i've just got a cold but my body is doing the equiv of swooning with the vapors.

    i've eaten more tonight than i have in the last few days, bbq chicken, potatoes and broccoli rice and cheese. i'm full. i watched waka slowly put away a chicken leg roughly the size of his head then still want a hibiscus flower. i almost feel as though i could have rolled him to bed and the fact that he immediately went to poo and then come in to fall on the floor in an exhaustion of digestion made me snicker and baby talk him some.

    ugh

    tired and sniffly

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • i guess i'm going to stick with this lady for my nutrition information as she has/d pcos and she seems fond of studies

      Paleo for Women | Shattering the Myth of Fasting for Women: A Review of Female-Specific Responses to Fasting in the Literature

      i say 'going to stick with' because people can pull out a study to prove any point they have and i'm ready to scream MAKE UP YOUR FKING MIND regarding the most healthiest way to live

      i bought some "natural" listerine and noticed it's 21% alcohol. i could probably have gotten some everclear for cheaper and watered it down some for the same effect.

      my mouth knows what being an alcoholic feels like now

      the large chicken legs has given cookie at least Death Burps, which smell exactly like death farts but have the miniscule perk of not coming out of his ass before hitting my nose

      waka has this thing about stairs. i don't know where it comes from, but he has it. he goes up and down the same steps multiple times a day every day and has for years and yet he still has this thing. if anything is anywhere in front of his destination, he's too anxious to go around it. if i or his brothers are standing too close to the top step he acts like it's an impassable obstacle. if the steps are wet he'll hop his front feet on and off it and whine his tiny whine. because if you met waka you'll see that for some reason he'll climb up stairs like he's falling down them and nothing i do seems to help. stand on the steps and calmly talk to him, show him how to climb them like a normal person by putting his paws on them, having his brothers go up and down them, excessive praise when he scrambles up them on the first go just makes his swishy tail swish faster.

      this morning he was having his anxious back and forth at the step, i'd say 'come on waka' and 'waka, come on' and 'waka'. this morning, for the first time, he turned his back and sat looking away from the steps and studiously ignored me. i told him that i was going to leave him out there. alone. with the lights off. that didn't work so i went in. i left the lights on, i'm not totally heartless. he still wasn't showing up 5 minutes later so i had to go back out and carry his grown ass up the stairs like a baby.
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • i spent hours i'd rather have been sleeping, reading. but i love that book so ifi had to fill hours with a book i'd choose that book.

        song of the beast by carol berg, btw. quit whatever you're doing and go read it.

        my body is still seesawing between fevery and hot and fevery and cold. my fingers are typing fumbly. i wish the dogs would go play. they whine at me and want out, then want right back in when i don't follow.

        i guess i'm grumpy cause i'm tired

        food of the days have ranged between fewer carbs and morer carbs. i'm tired of typing the word carbs. but the last 2 days have featured more starches and sugars in the form of OJ. there we go. starch and sugar. no need for the c word.

        i need a nap. and more oj. and soup. and someone to baby me like i was little again.

        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • Ack - you're still feeling icky. Hot spicy soup. I didn't realize your weather was so different from ours until you mentioned that it had been in the 30s one morning (more than one?). I'm just ecstatic when we dip down into the 60s.

          I was wondering if Waka has been checked for hip dysplasia? How does he do with ramps? Is your stairway wide enough to ramp part of it? I don't have experience with dysplasia, but for my two senior animals, I made (well, I had someone else make) a small set of steps up to my bed when they no longer jumped up on it.

          Feel better, Baby!

          ETA: good link on Paleo for Women. Though IF works for me, the knowledge that even at the far edge of nutritional "research," almost all is still being done on men is a good awareness. It's the shitz.
          Last edited by JoanieL; 10-11-2014, 08:13 AM.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • he's as healthy as a tiny fluffy horse, he just doesn't like stairs the way cookie doesn't like strangers and bear doesn't like car rides

            and yeah i've been putting hot sauce on my food to breathe. still sort of weak and sniffly but i'd feel a lot better without the sore throat. i really need to pay someone to cook for me.. joanie, wanna earn 5 bucks?
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • my thyroid's normal so i've got that going for me

              a cup of hot french vanilla with a splash of decaf is my current thing. i don't know if instant decaf coffee can be considered coffee. but it feels good on my throat.

              i slept about 4 and a half hours yesterday and not at all last night. my body is moving like i'm drunk but dammit i'm getting shit done.

              i picked up a new maybelline matte lipstick while i was picking up more throat drops and i dig that lipstick so hard. i would ride with it in a carriage in a shower of softly falling cherry blossoms that gently whisper, in caressing, lingering tones, Touch of Spice....

              the cashier is a lady i chat with when i see her, because she's chipper and talks to me, and she looked at me all concerned and said 'hun you know we give flu shots right?' oh yeah, i'm getting over what i had 'okay, but come back in a few days'

              i don't care how nice you are, i'm not getting more needles in me 'less i have to

              no but i do sound terrible, i could probably make small children scream 'I HEAR A MONSTER MOMMY GO KILL IT'

              i get the dogs kibble at a farming supply store and i was roaming as one is wont to do when i saw some toys out for an obscenely early christmas shelf. it was a box of little figures, a kid in camo, some turkeys, hunting dogs, i think a tree stand and all that, a g.i. hunter joe set, and i wondered how people who grew up and lived in a city would react to it

              fever sweeaaaattttt i feel hot and gross and hot

              and now i feel cold

              and sleepy as all hell

              i left some chicken thighs a day or two too long in the fridge, so it smelled a little sour when i opened it last night. i cooked it excessively and ate it anyway.

              is this what no fcks left to give feels like?
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • Seems like you've been sick a long time, if that fever doesn't subside soon I think you may want to see a doctor.

                I'm a little concerned, I wish I could dose you with some of my concotions, cook for you and make you a cozy little nest to curl up in. Since I can't I'll send you cyber hugs. ((( )))
                Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                Comment


                • Glad to hear that Waka is healthy. Neurotic is better than hip dysplasia.

                  Also, UF is a much better person than I. I'd be taking the five bucks. hahaha
                  "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                  B*tch-lite

                  Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
                    Seems like you've been sick a long time, if that fever doesn't subside soon I think you may want to see a doctor.

                    I'm a little concerned, I wish I could dose you with some of my concotions, cook for you and make you a cozy little nest to curl up in. Since I can't I'll send you cyber hugs. ((( )))
                    my hero i think it's been a week and a half? it lingers but it's getting better, promise (((huuuuug)))

                    Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                    Glad to hear that Waka is healthy. Neurotic is better than hip dysplasia.

                    Also, UF is a much better person than I. I'd be taking the five bucks. hahaha
                    yeah but you'd still be cooking instead of me so it's worth it

                    laying butt to butt with a dog is a very warm experience

                    symptoms are shifting to some coughing and i know i'm probably coming off as a dumbass too dumb to go to the doctor but i'm keeping track of how i feel, ease of breathing and all that. i just like whining on here.

                    ebola popping up randomly across the US makes me feel like someone's playing a giant game of pandemic and i'm wondering what spreading method they chose cause its bypassing quarantines and everything
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • wee i feel better

                      ma nagged me to sip apple cider vinegar & honey for my throat. pa nagged me to sip whiskey. to say i'm not a fan of whiskey would be eerily accurate so i sipped vinegar first. it burned the shit out of a quarter sized patch in my throat and my throat was not sore yesterday or today. so. add that to your list of 'holistic remedies' alongside jack.

                      i go through spells where i work out and then my back dies, and then i don't do nearly enough of anything for a while. rinse repeat. last night i did some upper body stuff with a pair of 10 lb'ers and afterwards i felt the warmth in my back muscles through the pills. so i don't know how it's gonna go. i don't know why i'm so adamant about being so stubborn about this. i don't know why i don't just do gentle stuff like i should do instead. i'm just stubborn, like my mother and her mother. get the 3 of us in a room and it'll be a daisy chain of 'no sit down, i'll do it'

                      seriously, i seriously find this adorable and plan to get one as a christmas gift to me. i'll bum a smoked down cig from someone before it gets crushed out and pop it in his tiny, disgustingly cute mouth.

                      Blood, Babes, and Beyond: Bizarro Au Go-Go, Store

                      and this

                      Walking Dead TV Series 6 Action Figure Bungee Guts Zombie

                      i hate that i missed out on getting the well zombi when it first came out, it's selling for 50$ now and i just don't want it that badly

                      there really aren't any holiday makeup items i want so i'm just looking at people swatch them on their blogs. it's weirdly relaxing.

                      food has been scrambled eggs and apples, french vanilla coffee. chicken is out to thaw for tonight.
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • I'm a big fan of ACV for a lot of things. Eyes (bright whites), skin (clearer), gut (no nausea/acid and good BMs). One or two tablespoons in a big glass of ice water on a hot day seems a little more satisfying than plain water sometimes.

                        You must be the black sheep not liking whiskey and living where you live. NOLA is the first place I've ever lived where the types of whiskey available outnumber the types of tequila by more than 4:1.

                        Love the little cigaratts. They remind me of these guys:

                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • oh man haha i haven't seen that in years, the mouth is slightly creepier than i remember

                          and yeah, everybody'd be like 'yeah give me a jack and coke!' or drink it straight and i'm just sitting there sipping my girly drinks in shame lol

                          whiskey and beer, man, cannot do it

                          i love this dog's goofy face and i love the cat's immediate and thorough shut down

                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • It's funny how they are both using just one paw, must be a rule.. I think the cat could do some serious damage if he used both paws.
                            Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                            Comment


                            • I think the cat is a lefty. I love the one-paw rule.

                              I love beer, though whiskey is only an occasional thing. I used to like beer with a shot dropped in - is that a Boilermaker?

                              We had a big old German Sheperd; the sweetest dog ever. He and the cats got on great. One day, we were in the kitchen and we heard him squeal. We ran from the kitchen to see what the matter was. The little female cat had nailed him in the snout with all four sets of claws and wouldn't let go. He could have easily killed her, but instead he called for help. Dogs will surely go to heaven. It's even money on whether or not cats will get there.
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                                It's even money on whether or not cats will get there.
                                They won't. I'll make sure of it. Kittens may get a pass.

                                Comment

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