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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Dogs are such good sports! The other day I rode my bike to the video store and there was a bloodhound laying in the bike rack, apparently waiting for her owner, with her front paw draped over one of the bars, I took a picture but I can't manage to post it from my phone. I know, I'm a hopeless Luddite! I wish you could have seen her, she raised her head and looked at me like "I hope you don't expect me to move!"
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

    Comment


    • LOL! The answer, "penis," fits many questions.

      Waves to UF.
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • That is the happiest, most rolly polly puppy on the planet!! That picture made me laugh! The fruit and veggie dog made me sad!

        Penis should be the go to answer no matter the question!

        I hope you are getting lots of rest, my friend.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
          Dogs are such good sports! The other day I rode my bike to the video store and there was a bloodhound laying in the bike rack, apparently waiting for her owner, with her front paw draped over one of the bars, I took a picture but I can't manage to post it from my phone. I know, I'm a hopeless Luddite! I wish you could have seen her, she raised her head and looked at me like "I hope you don't expect me to move!"
          aww animals get comfortable in the weirdest positions.. if you can text with your phone, you miiiight be able to send it to your email

          waka and cookie will generally jump up to do stuff but if bear's ready for a nap he'll just raise his head up enough to look at me then slowly roll over onto his side or back to go to sleep. or ignore me until he's ready to get up 2 minutes later.

          Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
          LOL! The answer, "penis," fits many questions.

          Waves to UF.
          60% of the time penis is the answer every time, according to my casual internet research

          Originally posted by vh67 View Post
          That is the happiest, most rolly polly puppy on the planet!! That picture made me laugh! The fruit and veggie dog made me sad!

          Penis should be the go to answer no matter the question!

          I hope you are getting lots of rest, my friend.
          the papaya face broke my tiny heart, then the potato face made me smile. dog went the full range of negative emotions. i hope you're getting enough rest too, i've been keeping up with you over at joanie's and i'm glad you're still doing okay

          food. green beans are okay. corn bread is okay. green beans AND corn bread are not okay.

          i've been laying on the floor a lot. it's finally gotten really comfortable and i haven't crackled in a little while. i gently stretched some yesterday and it made me hurt like a mother today.

          i feel.. like.. inadequate next to my guy, taking pills just so i can function like a crippled old woman.

          but i found this

          Low carb noodles that don't suck (x post from r/lowcarb) : ketorecipes

          and this



          and a bunch more. enough more that i could print them off and make my own cook book.

          but i guess that's it. nothing interesting.
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • today's inspirational quote..

            I don't understand the intelligence of a moth. -Bill Cosby

            don't try to understand it, let it flow through you and you'll reach enlightenment.

            no, but he is officially a rambly old man now.

            my face is angry and unhappy with the world, it's dry and ruddy with tiny bumps scattered hither and yon. as someone who never really had to deal with acne i want it to just tell me what's wrong.

            i keep having to force my torso and head upright, they all keep curling inward.

            my mind wants to be introspective and work out some long held issues. i rarely get that way so i'm going with it.

            i'm.. concerned? that i'm having this much pain from stretching my upper body and lifting my butt off the ground. wide spread burning with what feels like a painfully cold chunk of ice under my skin. i don't want to wind up bed bound or stuck curled up in a chair at a young age. i want to work through it, like if i get strong enough it will stop.

            i don't want to get left behind. i don't want to hold my guy back. i want to be right with him always.
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • what the crap is going on with my forum using abilities
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • how freaking pretty




                i tried making orange fluffy stuff with jello and cream cheese. too much cream cheese and not enough jello = orange flavored cheese. it's good, but it's a brick.

                i'm in the mood to MAKE CRAP

                YEAH

                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • I just wanted to tell you that you rock. People with health issues, especially those involving pain, just floor me with their bravery. The occasional foray into sadness about one's plight doesn't diminish that.

                  Orange flavored cheese sounds good. Really. You'll get it. And I can't wait until you proudly present your chicken and mashed potato jello mold. hahaha
                  "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                  B*tch-lite

                  Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                  Comment


                  • i don't feel very brave, most of the time i feel like a cream puff :/

                    but if someone thinks it then i must be putting on a good face

                    i'm gonna be honest, i'm scared to make dinner jello lol it's such a frankensteinian concept.. i need to find a fancy jello mold for this...

                    maybe this one

                    Amazon.com: SorbusŪ Silicone Bundt Pan - Spiral: Kitchen & Dining

                    my other option was a realistic brain mold but it wasn't sturdy

                    it's still an option tho
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                      i don't feel very brave, most of the time i feel like a cream puff :/

                      but if someone thinks it then i must be putting on a good face

                      i'm gonna be honest, i'm scared to make dinner jello lol it's such a frankensteinian concept.. i need to find a fancy jello mold for this...

                      maybe this one

                      Amazon.com: SorbusŪ Silicone Bundt Pan - Spiral: Kitchen & Dining

                      my other option was a realistic brain mold but it wasn't sturdy

                      it's still an option tho
                      a brain jello mold would be awesome.... for strawberry jello..... and mixed fruit..... or a brain shaped bannana pudding....... ohh ohh ohh.... a chocolate brain.... then you could have a shite for brains salad!

                      Comment


                      • yeah! this guy gets it

                        i'm down 4 lbs. maybe it's dehydration, maaaaybe green beans are magical. breakfast was 3 boiled eggs, the last blob of orange brick and a scoop of 'i don't know what it's called, bay's mom shared it so we could make it cause it sounded good and it was good', a tube of sausage, a block of cream cheese and a can of rotel. it's supposed to be a dip but bay and i would eat it with breakfast or supper.

                        so basically i had a whole lot of fat with some protein and chemicals from the sugar free jello

                        i kinda want to see how much weight i could lose before my next dr's appt next week. that was such a heavy breakfast. gah. this is how i will relearn to IF.

                        i sometimes browse chronic pain forums. this morning someone posted that since hydros were reclassified they were having problems getting prescriptions, and other people chimed in about their problems with prescrips and insurance and getting enough pills per month. this isn't something i could say very often, but i think i got lucky being a giant scar beast. i can handle possibly long term monthly visits. i could not handle being turned away because i had 'invisible pain' and treated like an addict.

                        someone do these to my face



                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • yep it was dehydration

                          yesterday i moved a dead animal for my grandmother

                          yesterday i also discovered the limits of my love for her

                          i don't want to do that again, i'm having flashback smells today

                          i picked up some unflavored gelatin, tomorrow food will be chicken salad a la mold. tonight food will be stew. this has been an uncomfortably pain filled month so i took the easy route and cut up the meat sitting at the table while fending dogs off my feet because damn they were all up my butt about it.

                          also, the gas pump i had to hold to put gas in my car was greasy. i do not want to know why. my only hope is that it was burger grease and not used KY.

                          it's been about an hour since i ate a pill. my other only hope is that it's still in kicking-in mode and not 'this is it' mode. because ow.
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • Flashback smells are icky.

                            chicken salad a la mold
                            I can't believe how excited I am to see this. Please pics, if possible. But a description is good also.

                            Greasy gas pump - ewww! Could be snot, sperm, KY, ack!

                            Hope the pill did its job.
                            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                            B*tch-lite

                            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                            Comment


                            • i made it

                              i ate some

                              i took pictures that i'll need to upload

                              words.. can't really.. describe.... i don't... i'm not sure....

                              chicken salad was never meant to be solid

                              this is what i did, i can't remember if i've put this video up already but here it is just in case

                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu8PyWmbyCo

                              i shredded up 4 flattened breasts, diced up some grapes, a tbsp of mayo and mixed it up while 2 cups of the water i cooked the chicken in, strained & warmed up with a tsp of beef boullion

                              when it was hot i added the plain gelatin and finished with the chicken while it melted and cooled

                              put the sauce pan in a bowl of ice water to gel it up then mixed it into the chicken bowl

                              i need to say up front that the chicken salad had plenty of flavor, and the broth was strong tasting. but mixed together and jello'd alllllll the flavor disappeared and it was just.. solid bland chicken lumps. and i think... the most unsettling thing about it for me was that it was solid. that is what i couldn't get used to the most.

                              i told mahm what i did and said 'how could people eat this back then?!' and she said 'WE didn't! we had normal food like scrambled eggs and baloney!' hahaha

                              i had leftovers for breakfast because dammit i don't want to waste that much food, i had some with pickled ginger slices and i had some with a butt ton of salt

                              the pickled ginger helped because that was mainly all i could taste

                              all in all..... i recommend it for masochists
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • I think it was very adventurous of you to make a jellied chicken salad. I don't know why it sounds so unusual when I used to make a salmon mousse which is kind of the same concept. I even have fish mould somewhere, I haven't seen it for years.
                                Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                                Comment

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