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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i woke up hard
    heh heh heh

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    • Originally posted by WaylandC View Post
      heh heh heh
      yyup... happens to me regularly....

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      • Your dogs are CUTE AND SPECIAL!




        Now post some pics.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
          yyup... happens to me regularly....
          DOC MY FRAGlLE STATE.


          Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum

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          • aww.. who knew that the penis i've been searching for was inside me all along!

            today's question is.... why. why is my body stiff all over. for i do not believe that push ups and bridges would be the sole cause.

            bay said i should yoga to death metal, that makes it seem much more do-able.

            diet has been better, there were a few cases of bread but i'm not beating myself up over it. maybe one day i'll figure out why i'm so hung up on it and stubbornfullishly keep wanting sandwiches.

            i downloaded the american frugal housewife to read. if only i'd found it before i tried to dye my bonnet with expensive dyes instead of saffron tea. i'll not make that mistake again.

            also, children should be working instead of wastefully playing. i agree with this. future children, you'll be making mommy money instead of wasting time and space.

            i'll set up an etsy store for humanely created organic bird feather fans woven by free range children.

            the author quoted a guy saying he didn't want people to think he was cheap for living comfortably on 600$ a year instead of 800$. like oh my god, please give me today's wages with those living expenses and i'll be a millionaire in like a week.

            i've got a roast i guess i'll cut up into steaks. i bought a tenderizing hammer to beat the everloving hell out of meat now. i ate some cold resistant starch potatoes just in time for it to cause colon cancer.

            and because i could not resist, i also bought tiny spatulas and tiny tongs.

            i'm pretty sure that was the woman in me taking over. she also likes teeny tiny newborn clothes and socks.

            and i just cannot keep from posting stuff on here, so here is a gif

            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • Originally posted by RittenRemedy View Post
              DOC MY FRAGlLE STATE.


              Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum
              Is that anywhere near Texas?

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              • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                Is that anywhere near Texas?
                It's a bit of a drive, but doable.


                Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum

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                • i am not good at eating a rainbow of foods and apparently eggs aren't enough. and i don't know what's going on in texas and i'm not sure i want to know.

                  i stopped taking vitamins a ways back, just taking mag, k2 & krill oil. the eggs will save me! i thought to myself.

                  my heart started fluttering last week. it can't be magnesium, i take that. it wasn't from being too tired cause it happened when i'd slept. and when i hadn't had any caffeine. so the night before last i took some vitamins. less flutters yesterday, none i can feel today.

                  damn you gummy vitamins, you keep sucking me back in to your delicious candy gummy goodness.

                  and i found someone who actually made one of those scary tuna jello molds from back in the day

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu8P...TvP3sXOowhViOA

                  it seriously makes me want to dig out my antique and vintage cookbooks and start wasting money cooking weird and terrible things.

                  no push ups or bridges the last 3 days. with the rain and bad weather my body was having enough fun and weirdly felt locked up and weak at the same time. weird. and like i said to bay, i mean i do complain to him but mostly it's like a joke, if i take pills every day i'm too tired to function, if i don't take them i can't function. i just want to yank a stranger to me and punch them to make me feel better.

                  the news will report on the Mad Puncher that's terrorizing the town.

                  i took down some of the dogs' old penning and put up some new. my back is trying to make me regret it but seeing waka confused and hopeful for freedom and almost trotting face first into it made it worth it. poor baby, no freeness, just soft jails.

                  it should take cookie at least 5 minutes to figure out a new way through.

                  the moles and apparently frogs have made their play area impossible to safely run in so i moved everything up and out. then saw a giant freakin hole and kept eyeballing it for angry copperheads. i prefer snakes that don't kill you.

                  i also like these

                  i'm seriously dead this time
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqjW4VM1xdE
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

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                  • Now that's a reason to buy gelatin! I'm not even being sarcastic. Why did we all stop making everything in jello molds anyway?

                    That snake rolling over and over was hilarious!
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • because they all look like vomit lol

                      http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/t...pe-ads#2vsoobn

                      i can't lie tho, now i am curious and want to try it
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • LOL! That link has to be added to things I look at even though I know they'll freak me out. Except of course SPAM 'n' Limas.

                        And another: "It's exciting! It's delicious! It's easy! IT'S FROM CANS!"

                        Looks like back then, SPAM had some competition from Spork and Speef.
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • The Monterey Souffle Salad really got to me, barf is exactly what I thought when I read the ingredients. You have to be pretty twisted to put lemon jello, mayonnaise and tuna together or maybe really hate your family....... "Look honey what I made today!"
                          Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

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                          • they get awfully pretty when you modernize them tho

                            http://www.buzzfeed.com/emofly/jello...-again#2vsoobn

                            and i don't know what this lady did to piss this cat off, but she did

                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKfju0uNXF0

                            discovered that if i cook a roast on low all night and on high for a 5ish hours the meat gets real real real real real really tender. it's the little things that get me.

                            last night i dreamed that i doused a brush in alcohol and brushed little white larvae off my scalp, over and over until i got an adult with big jaws and a white tick body.

                            cookie still hasn't figured out a new escape route and i've been enjoying doing my own thing instead of going in and out and in and out with them just to keep an eye on him.

                            i downloaded so freaking many free antique cook books off amazon

                            i've been laying on the floor before bed the last few nights, last night my back was so tight everything crinkled when i finally got flat.

                            for some reason i'm resistant to the push up and bridge idea. i can get done in no time, it's not back breaking labor, so what's the big deal. i don't know yet.

                            i guess because i've been crinkling lately, who knows

                            bay's friends with a couple who recently broke up. dude was cheating and the lady had enough. lady told him today that she wanted to invite her now-ex to spend the weekend. i think i had an emotional blow out, my hands started shaking and i was pissed at the stupidity. I'VE DONE THAT. IT DOESN'T END WELL. GET A VIBRATOR AND USE IT. HE WAS STILL HOOKING UP WITH WOMEN AFTER HE GOT CAUGHT FOR GOD'S SAKE. emphasis on plural, woMEN.

                            i don't know why i'm invested in what she does but i am

                            BLAH

                            also, i'm bored
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • Those do look pretty good. The tomato-cucumber aspic could easily be made into Bloody Mary shots. The Berries and Bubbles mold is good to go. And that second one also, Spiced Coconut Cherry Mold looks great.

                              Sorry to hear you've been crinkling.

                              The sad fact is that when we see people making mistakes we've made in the past, we generally have to sit by helplessly and let them learn it the way we did. It absolutely sucks.

                              And yet, the most important take-away for me is: I should probably get some flavorless gelatin and try some of those recipes. *hug*
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • *squish*

                                i want to do that minty green one that is oh so pretty. and not eat it. just take it door to door and show it off. say 'no it's MINE make your own!' when they mistakenly try to take it.

                                food has been, comparatively, carb heavy the last few days. now that i've realized i hold a magnifying glass to literally every aspect of my life, i wouldn't know exactly what to compare it to, but i know that it is.

                                so my period symptoms have backed off. i should probably quit doing that. but on the up side i know exactly what i'm doing to myself and how to fix it.

                                it gives me the warm fuzzies when i say something to my guy and he replies with 'i like you'.

                                and i learned, reading old books, that i should cut out the entire chunk of skin should i ever get snakebit, to get the poison before it enters my blood.
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

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