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  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    youtube and deep breathings through my nose. i did not even know i'd typed the S on breathing til i noticed something wonky in my peripherals. but yes, my brain is fritzing, i am dizzy, i am also pmsing, getting together with a new doctor is taking too long, it's hard to walk when dogs get under my feet and my looking down makes my head woosh then jerk backwards and my body tilts to the side. and i still want to cry. i'm not sure if it's because i'm miserable or because my chemically balanced wires are crossing.

    i dunno.

    but there's this. i enjoyed the book.



    food has been chicken and broccoli and alfredo rice noodles and the occasional peanutbutter notcookie and eggs. i doubled the recipe and this time it's less crumbly and moistisher? it's not dry. i did good. i'll probably never recreate this. i'll spend my life fruitlessly trying and trying and never again reach this perfection.

    and i'm sleepy.

    i think it's just about bed time.

    god i'm miserable. around everybody else i deal quietly, but here and to bay i'll whine. i'm miserable. when will i stop feeling miserable for one reason or another.
    damn... a horny Harry Potter....

    Comment


    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
      maybe

      yes

      i will squeeze you til you're blue, because i feel bad and you're hugging me, so like a monster squid i'm latching on

      they were yummy *nod* so much lemon pepper.. MMM

      Thai Kitchen - Stir-Fry Rice Noodles

      i like them ^ they aren't curled and tangled together so i don't have to cook more than i planned on. it's only been several years since i went mostly gluten free, but things have gotten so much better taste and texture-wise. it's magical.
      Squeeze away oh monster squid!

      Those noodles look terrific; I'll check out WFoods next time I go. Although, I should probably check Amazon first based on my experience with nori sheets - almost $1/sheet at WFoods, and something like 40c/sheet at Amazon if I'm remembering correctly.
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
        damn... a horny Harry Potter....
        they grow up so fast *tear dabs*

        Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
        Squeeze away oh monster squid!

        Those noodles look terrific; I'll check out WFoods next time I go. Although, I should probably check Amazon first based on my experience with nori sheets - almost $1/sheet at WFoods, and something like 40c/sheet at Amazon if I'm remembering correctly.
        i've heard it's called Whole Paycheck for a reason

        ...my armpit itches...

        finally got things squared between my old doc and my potentially new one, appointment was made for the buttcrack of the working day tomorrow, i. am. PUMPED.

        in celebration, i took the last zoloft. we party hard down south, ya'll don't even know.

        i'm finally getting not dizzy, i could kiss someone i'm so happy about that.

        i've reached the age where i prefer the music of my high school years over whatever's on the radio. makes me think of an oldie saying 'now this is REAL music' about doo wop and the kids are just side eying each other

        i found this thing at goodwill a ways back. the packaging looks like it's from the 40s and i like antiques and functional antiques so i picked one up, turns out they still make em. i don't know. but i'm gonna awkwardly chop up stuff to see how well it works.

        Kwik-Kut's Webpage

        now here's some of my music, damn kids

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z04VDnr5k4I

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbHfgXJKn1Y

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=araU0fZj6oQ

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trinU3VD1Zo

        just wait for it.. wait for it.. waaaaait.... that scream

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbHfOhJNR4
        Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-06-2014, 11:57 AM.
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • wellllll wellllllll wellllllll

          i just found this.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPT-YdNLxCs
          Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-06-2014, 11:58 AM.
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • meh. it was too low energy.

            questions i've seen online recently towards men--

            what would my man want to see me in when i meet him after being in different states for a long time?

            will he like it if i pinch his butt?

            is it weird if i text him that i'm touching myself thinking of him?

            my initial response to reading them was goddamn are you kidding me wtf

            here are the answers

            1. NOTHING.

            2. maybe. damn.

            3. NO. DAMN.

            also, bay informed me last night that some of my selections are from the 2000s after which i informed him that i knew. damn kids think they know everything.

            met the new doc this morning, poor thing was very sweet while i was hanging onto calmness with my nails. explaining that i basically turn into a crazypants when i'm not taking zoloft regularly made her laugh. but uh. i was kinda serious. i realized i was standing behind the exam table while we talked and awkwardly apologized. but she was nice. she was nice when getting background info, she was nice when i only gave a short 2 sentence answer about my ex. i was surprised and on edge already, wasn't expecting it.

            'have you ever been pregnant?'
            no.. it felt wrong to say. but i said it to keep the questions moving.

            and i hate feeling like such an emotional mess. i just expected her to refuse to refill my things, i just expect people to be terrible then when they aren't it's such a relief. and my hands feel shaky. and bay's friend behaves just like my ex to his girlfriend, he was telling me last night and my insides turned to oily snakes and i hated that person like he was the ex.

            but he's not the ex. he's just a gaslighting cheater, he's not a rage monster.

            but i'm just a shaky emotional mess, i have more crazy pills, i'm gonna be okay

            eventually

            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • what would my man want to see me in when i meet him after being in different states for a long time?
              Nothing is good. Or anything from a Catholic school girl uniform to a black leather bustier and a whip.

              is it weird if i text him that i'm touching myself thinking of him?
              Only if you're a priest. But not this:


              I hate when people behave in a way that reminds me of past mistakes.
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • cute pictures and dirty songs that went over my head when i was younger make things better, and there will be pictures. /r/aww did not let me down today.

                i did some push ups and bridges last night. i did them in pain, brain litanizing 'you deserve this' for being such an unattractive mess.

                to say that i think maybe i need to be on meds is an understatement. to say that i hope they kick in soon is also an understatement. because another withdrawal effect is that i can't remember sht for more than 5 minutes unless i write it down.

                i went to sleep late and woke up early, so yeah i'm sleepy. food was still bread-free. getting the doc and having her be a nice lady seems to have given me some hope. all these nice ladies feel like i'm being pampered. wee.

                i went by the farmer's market to pick up milk and butter. they had no butter and i'm not yet used to seeing nonhomogenized milk be settled like a giant glass tube of yogurt so i got cream. and real live local goat milk lotion. so soon i will make butter while covered in the mammary juices meant for growing young.

                some other nice lady tried to make conversation about it and i think my misery 'about to fall over, wanna sit and puke' face was discouraging

                i'm sorry, other nice lady

                some jerk animal ate all my growing grapes. i felt so cool that i had concord grapes growing outside. and some jerk ate them even though they were still sour.

                i hope that jerk enjoyed the diarrhea.

                but i'm so tired. and i've felt overly hot and sick all day. so yes i'm still miserable. but i didn't eat bread and i did some weakass push ups.

                wee.







                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • Puppies and kittens and French Bulldogs, oh my! Bring big happy smiles.

                  Glad you're liking your woman doctor. My last two gynocologists were women, and it's a damn relief. I mean, I don't care if some male doctor has a bird's eye view of the princess, but the attitude is so different. "I'm waking up every night, can we try HRT?" "Do you understand the risks?" "Yes." "How about we give you the lowest dosage possible and review if you don't get relief?" "Thanks, Doc."

                  You're probably your own worst critic. I bet if I met you, I wouldn't even begin to think, "Unattractive mess." And I'm guessing Bay wouldn't be around if he thought so either. The only good thing about that mindset is that it gets you to exercise. Which puts you miles ahead of me on most days.

                  I had a raccoon in FL that would eat my cherry tomatoes just as they'd ripen. I'd go out, and all the red ones had a bit taken out of them. It was the first time that I really wanted to shoot an animal.
                  "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                  B*tch-lite

                  Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                  Comment


                  • Aww animal babies are so cute!

                    I wish I could make you something tasty to eat and that you could do my make up for me. I need a makeover.
                    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                      Puppies and kittens and French Bulldogs, oh my! Bring big happy smiles.

                      Glad you're liking your woman doctor. My last two gynocologists were women, and it's a damn relief. I mean, I don't care if some male doctor has a bird's eye view of the princess, but the attitude is so different. "I'm waking up every night, can we try HRT?" "Do you understand the risks?" "Yes." "How about we give you the lowest dosage possible and review if you don't get relief?" "Thanks, Doc."

                      i almost had a male ladyparts doc for an exam once. it sounds dumb, and i know it is dumb, but i worried for a bit that he'd think i was getting off on it because my parts were doing what they do.

                      all i can do now is smh at my thought processes at the time.. but.. i still prefer women doctors


                      You're probably your own worst critic. I bet if I met you, I wouldn't even begin to think, "Unattractive mess." And I'm guessing Bay wouldn't be around if he thought so either. The only good thing about that mindset is that it gets you to exercise. Which puts you miles ahead of me on most days.

                      i am, and i guess he doesn't. he's the type of man i'd shave my thighs for

                      I had a raccoon in FL that would eat my cherry tomatoes just as they'd ripen. I'd go out, and all the red ones had a bit taken out of them. It was the first time that I really wanted to shoot an animal.
                      a raccoon ate my cantaloups a few years ago. the little bastard was considerate enough to leave the seeds in a pile inside the cleared skin, so i was like that's it! i've had it! he's a dead little a-hole!

                      so i borrowed one of those humane traps, put a small dish of birdseed inside where the carcass of my eaten fruits lay and waited. before dawn i checked and i'd caught him, but saw that he'd panicked enough to dig up all the grass under the trap and.. what's this feeling i feel.. no, it can't be pity. remember what he did!

                      i went out and picked the trap up and set it where he'd be safe and i could keep an eye on him. and.. aww.. he's so fluffy and fat.. and look at those eyes..

                      in the end i couldn't shoot the dumb thing. so i drove several miles out deeper in the woods and let him loose. he galloped like a horse.

                      dumb raccoon

                      so, long story even longer, don't look into their eyes

                      Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
                      Aww animal babies are so cute!

                      I wish I could make you something tasty to eat and that you could do my make up for me. I need a makeover.
                      i will take you up on it

                      i wound up doing a niece's makeup for some date/event thingy tonight and she and her ma were happy, maybe i won't mess your face up too bad

                      ...maybe... but if i decide to experiment, you may come out looking like you have green black eyes
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                        cute pictures and dirty songs that went over my head when i was younger make things better, and there will be pictures. /r/aww did not let me down today.

                        i did some push ups and bridges last night. i did them in pain, brain litanizing 'you deserve this' for being such an unattractive mess.

                        to say that i think maybe i need to be on meds is an understatement. to say that i hope they kick in soon is also an understatement. because another withdrawal effect is that i can't remember sht for more than 5 minutes unless i write it down.

                        i went to sleep late and woke up early, so yeah i'm sleepy. food was still bread-free. getting the doc and having her be a nice lady seems to have given me some hope. all these nice ladies feel like i'm being pampered. wee.

                        i went by the farmer's market to pick up milk and butter. they had no butter and i'm not yet used to seeing nonhomogenized milk be settled like a giant glass tube of yogurt so i got cream. and real live local goat milk lotion. so soon i will make butter while covered in the mammary juices meant for growing young.

                        some other nice lady tried to make conversation about it and i think my misery 'about to fall over, wanna sit and puke' face was discouraging

                        i'm sorry, other nice lady

                        some jerk animal ate all my growing grapes. i felt so cool that i had concord grapes growing outside. and some jerk ate them even though they were still sour.

                        i hope that jerk enjoyed the diarrhea.

                        but i'm so tired. and i've felt overly hot and sick all day. so yes i'm still miserable. but i didn't eat bread and i did some weakass push ups.

                        wee.







                        Quick someone get me insulin!

                        Comment


                        • I'm not sure I could ever empathize with a raccoon - they are nasty little beasties. But, I doubt I could really shoot one for just doing its thing. Unless I had someone nearby who would butcher it for stew. haha
                          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                          B*tch-lite

                          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by RittenRemedy View Post
                            Quick someone get me insulin!
                            yeah

                            Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                            I'm not sure I could ever empathize with a raccoon - they are nasty little beasties. But, I doubt I could really shoot one for just doing its thing. Unless I had someone nearby who would butcher it for stew. haha
                            if you ever get a chance to eat it, let me know how it goes haha

                            i finally decided to shave bear down. it took about an hour because his fur is fricking thick as frick, but now he's down to an inch of cottony softness AND NOW HIS EYES LOOK EVEN DEERIER AND HIS ADORABLENESS IS OFF THE CHARTS. loud noises generally make him nervous but he sat still, sometimes he'd even lay down. i guess the buzzy massages felt good.

                            i'm proud of him. and i am ecstatic about the lack of bear hair that will float on everything.

                            i finally figured out how to make bridges get felt by my rear end. my push ups are still weak as hell. my back burns. i finally feel more level headed though, it feels nice to be calm and upbeatish.

                            i was kind of upset earlier, felt bad with my back and all. i've been taking my pain meds as needed rather than tough it out, so it helped my mood as well. i do feel kind of wobbly, weak and sleepy now though. so i guess i'm going to go try not to faceplant doing weakass push ups.
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • Do you have pics of the shaven one? And I do mean the dog.
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • i'll need to take some better ones, i took a couple on my cheapy cell phone to make bay look at my cute dog so those are kinda small and blurry

                                bear is definitely built like a pomeranian sized brick sht house, his chest and shoulder area looks like a bulldog's. EVERYBODY TELL ME HOW CUTE AND SPECIAL MY DOGS ARE.

                                i got impatient waiting for this page to load every time i came to it that i finally used what little brain i have to edit the youtube vids out. oh look at that, it loads now.

                                i've been taking pain meds daily so i felt okay enough not to take one yesterday. bridges do in fact hurt, it didn't take long for the pain to roll in and last night in bed there was a wide swatch of muscle that felt like a bad sunburn under the skin with a needle poking it in the middle.

                                blah.

                                but i passed out hard, i slept hard, i woke up hard and my body feels run down and terrible. so that works. but on the upside i'm doing bridges right.

                                BLAH
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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