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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Haha, your posts make me giggle.

    I don't know what is it with them boys, they're afraid if anything girly touches them they'll start growing boobs. (Through try to convince any of them to eat well so they don't...)

    I thought it was a different kind of rub down, maybe you should have been clearer ;D

    What a funny observation about birds... I can apply this to many of my class mates too ;D
    One time I was walking home with a friend and some guy starting cat calling her and following her in his car.
    She finally turned. He looked at her for a moment, as if he'd eaten a tablespoon of salt and drove away.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

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    • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
      Haha, your posts make me giggle.



      I don't know what is it with them boys, they're afraid if anything girly touches them they'll start growing boobs. (Through try to convince any of them to eat well so they don't...)

      I thought it was a different kind of rub down, maybe you should have been clearer ;D

      well i mean, you know, it's not out of the question or anything

      What a funny observation about birds... I can apply this to many of my class mates too ;D
      One time I was walking home with a friend and some guy starting cat calling her and following her in his car.
      She finally turned. He looked at her for a moment, as if he'd eaten a tablespoon of salt and drove away.
      oh lord.. i laughed

      i ordered the grass fed bird food. i was talking to gramma about what all i googled, she was like 'oh goodness, and it will have vitamins in it? how much does it cost' and i said 'uhhhh..' and she said 'uh oh, i can't hear you, are you on a cell?' and the subject got changed

      so i got grouchy old man bird 1 bag each from different, recommended brands. one bag was 13, the other was 9. do i lie to gramma so she doesn't get sticker shock? this is a bird that loves corn bread and fried chicken. also he's been eating the same bird and people food for the last 20 years and he's been bright and fluffy til now, is this the bird version of 'i feel fine eating punch and pie!' then keeling over one day?

      maybe

      but now he gets to eat healthy foods when he isn't eating cornbread

      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

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      • Uh... Yeah I have an Italian friend who fed his dog chocolate and when I gave him the stare of death (dramatic hamster) he shrugged.

        That dog was almost twenty I think... So, either Italy has shit chocolate or that was the Rasputin of dogs.
        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
        -Raymond Peat, PhD

        Comment


        • haha sounds like maybe italy has amazing chocolate if the dog's been hanging around that long

          and apparently buying bird food at walmart is basically like buying poptarts for kids. birds are confusing to me, give me a dog or cat or other 4 legged critter and i'm like 'they eat this this this this and this. bam!'

          birds aren't supposed to eat seed when their picture is on the seed container? what? i read the ingredients list on the grass fed beef bird food and it's just stuff like wheat and oats. this is what tropical birds are supposed to eat?

          but the poptart food has dehydrated fruit in it.

          i don't know man. so confusing.

          that bird better come out like a glowing adonis next week
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • yay

            live tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased





            yeah

            i needed to medicate last night so while i did sleep, i am somewhat wobbly and mouth mushy today

            no food sounds good

            but i'm hungry

            what do

            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • i can't sleep.

              i can't. sleep.

              what.

              the fuh.

              k.

              WHY THE HELL CAN I NOT SLEEP



              WHY IS IT CHILLY OUTSIDE

              IT'S CONFUSING MY SEASONAL BAROMETER

              seriously though, it's kinda cold. and i couldn't sleep. so i'm base loading diet dr pepper caffeine out of irritation.

              there are little to no foods that i want to eat

              and the tea i made is too sweet and gross

              i need a handler dammit

              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • that's not to say i didn't eat last night. i ate fast food til i felt like a balloon. i'm ever so slightly ashamed of that so i'm not going into detail the whats.

                as to why

                i think it was emotional. there was a complete and utter detachment after getting angry/sad after a conversation with a sibling. looking in the fridge i didn't want eggs, i didn't want peaches, i didn't want 'healthy foods'. i sighed and went to a drive through.

                i can't fricking stop eating my emotions. it would be much easier to go back to eating miniscule amounts of food a day, but that was when i was very heavily depressed and smoking like a chimney. but at least i wouldn't feel like a lard.

                and i've had just enough therapy with just enough therapists to know the ones around me are useless to me. i am literally learning more figuring my emotional shit out on my own. but WHY can i not care enough about myself to stop eating the food i know will tear my body up, why can i not stop being so apathetic about my health. i've got this handsome, athletic, sweet, funny, delightful man friend who can have anyone but he likes me

                and i can't get my head out of my emotional ass long enough to be more attractive for him
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • I don't know man. I ate chocolate last night even though it hurts my stomach something fierce. I was bored and hungry, and the butternut squash wasn't cool yet =\. I need more easy snacks on-hand.
                  Depression Lies

                  Comment


                  • It's alright lady, today is a new day.

                    Why we crave junk food when upset has always mystified me. It's largely nutrient free, so it can't be the brain or body wanting something, it's probably not comfort food from most people's mamas (will THAT be a sad day), and it tastes like shite.

                    My emotional deathfood is pizza; that delicious smell of oregano, tomatoes, and wheat like an impeccably greased mobster.

                    And ice cream, but I think that's pretty common too. After the last time I got glutened I was feeling really down, and some insane part of my mind was actually suggesting a nice cream fast might be a good idea.

                    Comment


                    • *hugs* that's it, really. Eating emotions - I do it too, why? Who knows...
                      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                      Comment


                      • new days..

                        still sleeping weird, having weirdass sex dreams when i do

                        i spent last night cutting dingleberries off dog butts. i mean.. up until a few years ago i was very OCD, very germaphobey, and i still can be as far as public bathrooms and walmart carts go.. but as far as dog shit goes.. these dogs have immunized me to gross

                        it helped that it was dry, but as i stared into the crusted furry pucker, i questioned the directions my life has taken

                        they questioned why i was looking at their assholes

                        cooking pad thai sauce is not my favorite smell but by the time i smelled it it was too late to take it off the meat and veg

                        but it all made enough for 3 bowls so it was breakfast lunch and supper. i'm off my cheesecake game tho. i perfected it when bay was here, but the last 2 times it's been too stevia-y.

                        i'm having to walk with my hand pressed to my back lately

                        i took pills last night and i feel like a drunk limp noodle

                        but i'm not having to walk carefully due to pissy back muscles

                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • i decided to track calories the last few days. i'm averaging around 2000, sometimes it's less than

                          i guess i just assumed it would be much more, with the cheescake bites and such



                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • He simply crawls in it and wear it around - Imgur

                            Comment


                            • i want one
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • I love it (the snake).

                                I think the only thing that saves me nine times out of ten with eating junk food rather than healthy food is that I'm lazy.

                                I'm pissed (sad, angry, fill in negative emotion).
                                I want a bag of Reese's minis.
                                Walgreen is open 24 hours and I know what aisle they're on.
                                I have to get dressed.
                                And go there.
                                What a hassle.
                                I'll make some rice, salsa, and parmesan instead.

                                One time out of ten, I stagger over there. Booze cuts both my discipline and my laziness. Weird.
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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