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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • mother effer i think i'm sick

    did i pick up syphilherpes from the shopping cart the other day? did i rub my face before washing my hands? did someone sneeze and i walked through the cloud?

    what the eff

    no

    damn

    my face has been getting progressively hotter and my body progressively stiffer. nothing on me should be stiff, i don't have a penis. damn. no.

    baby come make me chicken soup. and let me hug up on you. and watch tv and/or movies with me. baby, come baby me.

    i have the sniffles. hug them out of me. i'll try not to wipe my nose on you.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • Lots and lots of sterile cyber hugs for you!

      Comment


      • I just thought of something (great marketing idea or too much acid as a youth?) - what about crystal and mirrored toilets? This would negate the necessity to have to apply them. And it would put the throne back into "sitting on the throne."

        V, you're still genius to me. I have no idea how one would apply those things to a toilet. LOL

        Badgergirl, I live in such a small place now that I don't pay much attention anymore. But the crystal that's in the red door pic was something I brought here with me, so I haven't completely abandoned belief. In as much as I'm able to believe anything I can't see or touch.

        I'd love to come visit oh bloody one! 'Til then, this book is pleasant to read, has tips, theory, examples, and some cool anecdotes: The Western Guide to Feng Shui by Terah Kathryn Collins.

        Grocery stores are veritable petri dishes. I hope you feel better soon! +1 on the many hugs.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • weee i feel less like death today

          and i'm sitting here hmmmm-ing over mirrored toilets.. i'm the same now as i was when i was little, i'd watch me pee given that opportunity

          mahm said that people she was talking with said that there was some kind of super pollen allergy attack going on and my symptoms yesterday matched it. symptoms which are, today, greatly dampened. am i.. a super hero? will samuel l jackson show up wearing an eye patch?

          what i am today tho is pissy. there was one older guy in the opposite lane who got into the turning lane i needed and i tried to get in without anyone dying but he kept inching in front of me while i was trying to turn in. i finally just whipped back onto the highway cursing like a sailor. the adult male passenger in his car looking at me like O.O could apparently lip read. sah-reee.

          the dogs empty their kongs too quickly. by the time i got the fillings put up cookie was already done and looking for more, waka soon after. bear tried to hoard all 3. i guess i'll just freeze them or something.

          i'm tired.

          i need to get food prepped to mass bake.

          i'm lazy.

          on my list are these, because my mass bake meat is frozen

          modifications as needed, nixed chocolate chips
          Flourless Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe | Epicurious.com

          essentially mini cheesecakes without the bottoms
          Cream Cheese Muffins - Low Carb Friends

          i can easily imagine my earwormy tic making me think 'oopsie!' every time i make these. i already want to shoot my earworm in the face.
          Oopsie Rolls | Healthy Recipes

          having gallons of green tea at the ready has already made diet dr pepper taste weird and be less addictiony

          i should yoga. but i'm tired. and lazy. and sore.

          wearing this color makes me feel pretty witty and gay. my tan looks good with it.

          Maybelline Shocking Coral ColorSensational Vivids Lip Color Review, Photos, Swatches

          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • If you make the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies i want to know how they taste, the recipe looks too easy to be true.
            Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

            Comment


            • There is no doubt that you are a superhero.

              Love the lip color.

              Hate super pollen.
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • Hope you are feeling better today.

                I used to mix a little kibble in peanut butter and put it the dogs' Kongs but it can be messy. They loved it and it seemed to take them a while to get it all out. Unless you are worried about their PUFA intake.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
                  If you make the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies i want to know how they taste, the recipe looks too easy to be true.
                  everything i've tried has tasted or been textured like flavored omelet.. i'm afraid.. i just want a chewy peanut butter cookie

                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  There is no doubt that you are a superhero.

                  Love the lip color.

                  Hate super pollen.


                  Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                  Hope you are feeling better today.

                  I used to mix a little kibble in peanut butter and put it the dogs' Kongs but it can be messy. They loved it and it seemed to take them a while to get it all out. Unless you are worried about their PUFA intake.
                  nah i'm fine with them eating it. i started their kongs with peanut butter and cheese and they fricken loved it, it's how bear went from hefty to haystack. but i found out the hard way that peanut butter can make cookie spit up, so i guess they'll just get to eat peanut butter as rarely as i do

                  it took a few hours to get fully asleep again. i woke up feeling better, headache was gone, but i have a really runny nose.

                  my eye still twitches and i'm seriously gonna ask my doc about it. i'm shorting out. maybe i need to eat 2 mag pills since 1 a night made the twitching much softer.

                  this is one of those days i don't have much i want to say, i just want to hang out with my guy and watch bad movies while eating peanut butter omelets and cheesecake

                  but eggs are back out on the counter and room temp, the cream cheese is getting room temp. i'm experimenting tonight

                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • X)

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post

                      OMG - I can't stop watching. LOL
                      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                      B*tch-lite

                      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                      Comment


                      • yeah it cracked me up too

                        okay i lied, i used this recipe

                        Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies Recipe : Claire Robinson : Food Network

                        i need simplicity in my life and this was simpler. subbed out 1/3 cup of brown sugar splenda blend & 3 packs of truvia. it's really sweet. but it's like a slightly dry crumbly cookie, not crunchy. i have them in a ziplock bag to keep them moist-ish.

                        i'm just.. so relieved

                        also i washed the crumbs off the pan and reused it for the cheesecake, i just cut it in squares and put them in the fridge to marinate instead of muffinizing them

                        the dogs have eaten everything this evening. chicken wings, peanut butter, treats. i honestly don't know how they aren't fat with the way i feed their faces.

                        i have a fresh gallon of tea getting cold in the fridge, i'm sleepy, the pre 4th random firework pop crack and boom makes cookie nervous no matter if i use a calming or happy voice

                        is it possible to waste tea bags? i don't know. i used like.. 8? green tea, spearmint tea, lemon ginger tea. i used all the tea.

                        and i'm sleepy. i better go to sleep easy tonight or someone's getting punched

                        also, mother effing tomato plant eating caterpillars ate my big green tomatoes and small green tomatoes. in my petty rage i drowned them in the japanese beetle water bowl

                        then i felt bad watching one dying

                        til i found another one EATING MY BIGGEST GREEN TOMATO

                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Dippel dust will fix the asses of your 'mater 'pillers.......

                          Comment


                          • I think I need to get some peanut butter. NOW!

                            I'm not that crazy about PB but I do really like PB cookies!
                            Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                              Dippel dust will fix the asses of your 'mater 'pillers.......
                              gonna dust everything i don't care what kind of pretty butterflies they turn in to, they aren't butterflies right now

                              Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
                              I think I need to get some peanut butter. NOW!

                              I'm not that crazy about PB but I do really like PB cookies!
                              being in a ziplock in the fridge overnight definitely improved the texture and i am well pleased. you make those cookies and you eat em. eat em all.. over a period of time because they are rich

                              i couldn't sleep. for a while i had my face pressed into the pillow. that didn't help anything either.

                              so good morning world. breakfast is tuna and tea and a cookie.



                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • since i'm awake and the kind of tired that wants someone to ramble nonsense to but my current ramble ear is asleep and the dogs don't even pretend to listen for long without making me pet them

                                things i like are this

                                Rainforest After Dark Colored Clay Eye & Cheek Palette - Tarte | Sephora

                                i like that packaging. that's some nice packaging. i'm past the 'buy all the pretty makeup!' now, know what i do and do not like, and so have gotten slightly picky. if your name was Bay you might say 'psh you don't need that' and i would agree, since it isn't made of oxygen

                                BUT YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT GROSS FISH YOU EAT EITHER

                                things i do not like are this

                                Revlon Colorstay Moisture Stain

                                it's simultaneously thick, liquidy and patchy. my lips feel like their suffocating and being chemically peeled. i don't know what it's made of other than waste-of-money and creeping evil.

                                my anxiety, through general craziness and life circumstance, has pretty much turned me into a hermit who is getting better at faking social interaction. i feel like the chipper smile and conversations are fakery. superficial. surface of the skin or hovering just above it. mostly hovering above it. it feels that non genuine.

                                when other people smile and warm up i know i'm doing well, while inwardly i want to tug my earlobe or hair, put my hands in and out of my pockets, cross my arms, uncross them, etc

                                mainly i just want to hang out with my bay and make him help me figure out fun things to do, i've shut myself off so much that my mind just blanks on anything life affirming

                                when it's not blank, it's kind of like this

                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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