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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • After my initial concern over you not getting enough sleep, my next thought was how in the world did you know what poo felt like? But then I remembered the dogs. I hope you are napping now or are getting some good rest. Being tired sucks.

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    • And thank you for the lemon nasal colonic I received while reading a hilariously snarky but true statement. I had a mouthful of lemonade when I read it.

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      • i'm thinking about naps, and how to make them amazing

        also, yeah.. i know poo >.>

        they could be taught to go in the toilet, but seeing what's left in the bowl would gross me out more than picking it up off their designated bathroom area

        maybe i should get a motion activated toilet.. bear would only have about 5 or 6 heart attacks..

        and i feel bad for laughing at your lemonaded sinuses.. but i did
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

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        • You two may have hit upon a new spa treatment!
          Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

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          • Nasal lemon colonic - you could make a fortune!

            A friend's very old Siamese cat taught itself to poo in the toilet when it no longer wanted to deal with going outdoors. I didn't, however, teach itself to flush.

            This would be tough in my home because I always leave the commode lid down so my chi doesn't go down the drain.
            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

            B*tch-lite

            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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            • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
              I always leave the commode lid down so my chi doesn't go down the drain.
              Me too. Glad I'm not the only nutter.
              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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              • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                Me too. Glad I'm not the only nutter.
                Feng Shui 101.
                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                B*tch-lite

                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                Comment


                • so me leaving my toilet lid up is draining the chi out of my home leaving me with bad karma and lemon juice neti pots?
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

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                  • If our beloved BloodOrchid was a kitty cat, I bet she would toy with her rats before ripping their heads off!

                    I don't keep my lid closed either because I am afraid of opening and a snake lunging out at me.

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                    • Same reason I always have to turn on the light at night before sitting. See something once on tv and it scars you for life.

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                      • Theoretically, all drains leading out of the home should be covered. I've always been too lazy to do it, though. And a stairway leading to an exterior door can also push your chi out. For that... actually, I think I have a pic... Here it is:


                        The little mirrors reflect back the chi, and the crystal disperses it so that the stairway doesn't act like a big gushing chi river to the outdoors.

                        I can't remember why I painted that door red though. I think it had more to do with Albert Einstein than Feng Shui.

                        P.S. "I gave up first," made me howl with laughter.
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • Snakes in the toilet - OMG!
                          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                          B*tch-lite

                          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                          Comment


                          • So if I put a mirror on the bottom of my toilet along with some crystals, I should be good.

                            P.S. After reading that, I question the constant self-proclamations of genius.

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                            • My mother has a very large 'living room protection crystal'. I don't doubt she would put crystals down the loo if she could get them to stay there.
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                              • seeing this as a little kid is what gave me my toilet lids in the dark issues

                                Ghoulies (1984) - IMDb

                                even now, dude. i just expect something to be in there if i don't turn the light on.

                                joanie you're gonna have to rearrange my stuff, i literally need all the positive vibes i can get
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

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