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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • i feel on edge. i feel like i want to get in a yelling match with someone to yell out my skin-crawling aggravation. i feel like i want to go spend all of my money on crap because 'treat yo self' and 'you can't take it with you when you go'. i feel like i have reached the pinnacle of my particular brand of crazy. maybe i'm an aspie. maybe i'm just crazy.

    i made some weird cabbage dish and it effed with my stomach. every time i have to step back into the bathroom sets my teeth on edge even harder.

    my skin touching my skin does too.

    i am working on 1 and a half diet dp. i had 1 and a half green teas. i think it may be nap time.

    i want to hire a personal assistant/chef/do-stuff-with buddy. but i can't do that if i spend all my money on feel better crap.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • food. scrambled eggs with a side of peaches. apple, tuna, sliced pickles, mayo, a big wad of lettuce, milk.

      i've decided to stop worrying about the oil in mayo until such a time as i have my shit together and try making my own again

      a surprise wind storm knocked my cherry tomatoes over, which landed on the dogs' strawberry pot, which made dirt but not plants fly out of pots

      i picked cookie up to put his escape deterring collar on and his armpit was wet. like wtf why.

      my sleep deprivation/stress eye twitches are much gentler since i started mag

      father parental witnessed the dogs eating hibiscus flowers, my half of the conversation went thusly

      (internal) what the..
      (external chipper face) yeah, they can eat hibiscus
      (internal) why are you offended? ):<
      (external cheery voice) yep, they eat it every year. you probably could too
      (internal) STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M STUPID D:<
      (external) the flowers bloom, open and wilt within the same day

      the end of that conversation was him saying 'oh'. he seemed highly offended that 1, they were eating a flower and 2, that i'd pick a flower off for them to eat.

      i need a drink

      but my stomach is too full of food
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • Mmm food. Omg halfway through that my phone keyboard turned into Korean...

        What's up with all the commercials staring female youtubers aka the most annoying people on the planet?

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        • LOL on the conversation with the parental unit.

          I've been reading and I'm sorry to hear about the feeling good one day and bad the next. I understand it, though for me it's mostly mental when it happens. It's a sucky cycle.

          I would indulge your need for a screaming match except that I agree with you 99.9% of the time, so it would be difficult.

          I'm home. *hugses*
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by RittenRemedy View Post
            Mmm food. Omg halfway through that my phone keyboard turned into Korean...

            What's up with all the commercials staring female youtubers aka the most annoying people on the planet?
            heeeeeeeeeeeeey guuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyssssssssss!! i'm going to show you this thing but first i'm going to talk about another thing for TWO WHOLE MINUTES! then i'm going to make random faces because i'm totes presh and you always like my videos when i'm liek soooooo random lol! *heart smile heart sparkle star* LOOK AT MY PUPPY/KITTY/NEW PURSE/BOOGER

            Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
            LOL on the conversation with the parental unit.

            I've been reading and I'm sorry to hear about the feeling good one day and bad the next. I understand it, though for me it's mostly mental when it happens. It's a sucky cycle.

            I would indulge your need for a screaming match except that I agree with you 99.9% of the time, so it would be difficult.

            I'm home. *hugses*
            we could yell about you ONLY AGREEING WITH ME 99.9% OF THE TIME. I DON'T FIND THAT ADEQUATE. IN FACT, I FIND THAT INADEQUATE.

            I SHAVED COOKIE DOWN TO 1 inch of uneven fluff. forgot that capslock. he still looks a million times better, but there are still some small stubborn butt tangles.

            food was steak, fried zucchini, potato, green tea. milk, some cherry pie filling x2.

            there was outside time, i forced my white legs to face the sun. you could hear them scream in horror.

            in the short time it took to sit out with them for one last barky pee before bed i was freakin devoured by bugs. my everything itches!

            dude's face at the end makes it all perfect

            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • we could yell about you ONLY AGREEING WITH ME 99.9% OF THE TIME. I DON'T FIND THAT ADEQUATE. IN FACT, I FIND THAT INADEQUATE.
              WELL FINE, THEN! I FREAKIN' AGREE WITH YOU 100% OF THE TIME! (See? I suck at arguing with people I like.)

              I SHAVED COOKIE DOWN TO 1 inch of uneven fluff. forgot that capslock. he still looks a million times better, but there are still some small stubborn butt tangles.
              I originally read that as, "I shaved the cookie," and thought it was going in a whole other direction, then wondered why you would call your 'cookie' he, then got to the butt tangles and remembered the dog. *chuckle*
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                I originally read that as, "I shaved the cookie," and thought it was going in a whole other direction, then wondered why you would call your 'cookie' he, then got to the butt tangles and remembered the dog. *chuckle*
                I'm so glad you went to the dog instead of any other "he" that could be refered to as "cookie."

                Comment


                • Here is the video of the dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGtGTS1OFmM

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                    WELL FINE, THEN! I FREAKIN' AGREE WITH YOU 100% OF THE TIME! (See? I suck at arguing with people I like.)

                    you and bay, man. you guys are not good at this game

                    I originally read that as, "I shaved the cookie," and thought it was going in a whole other direction, then wondered why you would call your 'cookie' he, then got to the butt tangles and remembered the dog. *chuckle*
                    maybe that's EXACTLY what i'm talking about, butt tangles and all

                    Originally posted by WaylandC View Post
                    Here is the video of the dog https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGtGTS1OFmM
                    'ooooohhh...' hahahaha
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • That dog tackle looks quite painful. Years ago one of ours dogs was running around with a bunch of other dogs at a dog park and they ran right into my husband's knee, no fun. I always wonder why dogs never seem to run into trees but I've seen several people hit by dogs.
                      Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                      Comment


                      • my dogs are the same

                        they won't run into furnishings, but they've run into my shins a few times

                        saying ow is being understatey
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • your stomach starts feeling sick. you get hot. you feel slightly weak. your hands start to shake. and then you say 'ahhhh shit..' blood sugar crash. it's dumb. it's my body's way of kicking me for being dumb with dumb emotional wheat eating. it'll take a while to settle down.

                          and impatient me being all indignant, i've been cutting down on wheat for 5 whole minutes! you shouldn't be doing this anymore! calm your tits and work like i want you to!

                          and then i think about what i ate today and it's another ah shit moment. 1.5 medium potatoes. a tomato. a bowl of jello. and it's been so long that i counted carbs that i don't remember how many that equals to and i really need to track what i eat because my memory is so fuzzy

                          but i slept for many many hours, but i was sleepy after i woke up. is it magnesium? is it caffeine reduction? am i bored?

                          i don't know
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • quote of the day

                            you smell like a baby prostitute

                            because perfume of the day is the britney spears cotton candy one. damn i smell good. and preteen-y.

                            i'm huuuunnnnngryyyyyyyyyyyyy but food won't be ready for another hour. i ate all my boiled eggs and did not get around to boiling more.

                            cookie's newly exposed under coat is pure cotton. i will never get his butt tangles detangled. he is going to receive some unsightly sheared areas but the drafts he will feel should make up for it. he looks strangely.. elongated with short hair.

                            breakfast was gluten free meaty spaghetti and some cheddar slices. supper will be a mess of fried meaty cabbage.

                            lipstick today was bright, and i felt fancy.
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • so the last time i tried making fake bread that didn't taste like flavored omelet, it tasted like whipped egg whites

                              if you don't know what whipped egg whites taste like, how have you lived?!

                              i've never tried making oopsie rolls though. so oopsie rolls are my next experiment. i'm slightly concerned though, as many of the recipes have 'flavorful' and 'great tasting' in the title/description. those involve dumping a load of spices in this mix which makes me wonder if these will suck plain.

                              the recipes also call for low fat cream cheese. low fat tastes like jiggly chemicals to me, so i got regular.

                              and yes, i'm still stuck on sandwichy food. i will probably forever be stuck on them.

                              i woke up after about 6 hours and couldn't go back to sleep. my brain was/is wide awake, my body.. however.. is not.

                              my new go-to natural, every day makeup look

                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • you smell like a baby prostitute

                                because perfume of the day is the britney spears cotton candy one. damn i smell good. and preteen-y.
                                lipstick today was bright, and i felt fancy.
                                I'm laughing, but that's a bit frightening. Kidding. Mostly. Do you need a hug?
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                                Comment

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