also 'i'm mixing the burger? do i need a.. my hands? use my hands? ew.. can't i..? my hands? like this? am i done now? oh.. now? do i have to use my hands?' yeah
i soaked up sun a while then decided to take a nap. i wound up sleeping through the alarm, i've been clenching my jaw again, so i'm a tired sore gross feeling mess
waka got too riled up while we were playing and grabbed my hand with his teeth trying to grab the toy, twice. the little turd didn't care. TUG OF WAR! TUG OF WAR! THROW IT THROW IT THROW IT! CUDDLE ME! LAY DOWN TIME!
i'll be the first to admit my ex put the fear of god into me. i was scared of him then, i'm scared of him now. he's on my mind much less frequently these days, thankfully, a bad memory or bad feel will only randomly pop up. i don't keep an eye out for him when i'm out. i don't worry he'll suddenly show up to kill me anymore. i did the actual math this morning and it's been so many more years than it feels like since i last heard from him, and the part of me that stays wound up on edge where he's concerned actually relaxed. kind of like a fist relaxing.
my eyes are tired
i had some roast and potatoes. i cooked burger into patties before the meat could go off. i'm rubbing my eyes. i tried to watch a movie but it sucked. i really need to start eating the liver i have frozen, i don't think eggs cover all the bases.
i finally made an appt for a pelvic check up. it's been a few years, and even though the abnormal bump found had gone away by the follow-up, it's really dumb of me to not have gone sooner
but sometimes my anxiety rules me and i pick the easier, less smart path