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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i'm here! i think!

    i passed out yesterday afternoon, slept til last night, wobbled around with the dogs a bit then passed back out til this morning. i feel like a human bean again

    'one for you, two for mee.. one for you, threeeeee for me...' is the perfect ratio i think

    i found stuff called greek gods kefir cheese, and since i try new things i picked a thingy up. it tastes like a mouthful of straight up citric acid. eaten with some honey on top, it changes to 'what is this curiously now-edible magic?'.

    cookie has been escaping repeatedly the last few days. i went over all of his usual crawl spots, they were all still blocked. i finally decided he learned to jump over the sagging spot that a giant neighbor dog wallowed over to say hi made. it's been making me nervous because he's a small dog, he's a stealable dog, he has zero camo from the hawks flying over and sitting watch in the trees and when the hawks sit in the trees you realize how big they are. last night he got loose right after i let him out and he took his sweet time coming to me when i was yelling for him. i finally lost my temper when he ran in from the direction the coyotes hunt and yelled at him to go to bed

    one of my sibling's small dogs, that i was very attached to, got torn apart when it snuck out one night. cookie pays for that memory with my over protective yelling

    but i let them out for their early morning bark and pee this morning and the furry twerp didn't see i was still out there so i found his escape spot. the little bastard is clever. he saw on a sagging spot that he could squeeze through the wire, it's rabbit wire so the squares are smaller at the bottom and larger at the top. i saw him nosing around it and went 'ha! found it! wait, no.. NO! COOKIE NO!'

    i smugly reinforced the whole thing with extra spikes, because i am marginally smarter than a 12 lb dog

    I know right?!?!? To all the dog parts of the post...

    So far I have only tried kefir anything once. I did not understand...
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

    Comment


    • I am so glad you got sleep!

      Cookie is naughty boy!! I understand your concerns about him getting eaten. Before we got our back fence, we had a coyote visit us on our back porch. We had our windows open so it was like it was our bedroom. It sounded like a hyena. Of course that is why there no outdoor cats in my 'hood.

      Space dog is so cute!

      Comment


      • There she is and well rested. Kefir cheese - you're braver than I. I've had such bad experiences with cheeses made from anything other than mammal milk that I shrink back at stuff like that.

        Bad Cookie! (Sweet Cookie.)
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • You're back!!! Hooray!!!

          But I guess it's only a matter of time now before you post something gross and send me screaming out of your journal.

          Although after watching 20 cyst evacuations on YouTube, I don't know what could be worse.
          you like it, if you didn't you wouldn't peek and see what new horrors arrive *nodding*

          Originally posted by excursivey View Post
          I know right?!?!? To all the dog parts of the post...

          So far I have only tried kefir anything once. I did not understand...
          i still don't understand o.o my tongue still feels weirdly burned from the bite i took plain, holy hell

          is this what health feels like?

          Originally posted by vh67 View Post
          I am so glad you got sleep!

          Cookie is naughty boy!! I understand your concerns about him getting eaten. Before we got our back fence, we had a coyote visit us on our back porch. We had our windows open so it was like it was our bedroom. It sounded like a hyena. Of course that is why there no outdoor cats in my 'hood.

          Space dog is so cute!
          gah freakin coyotes are even worse when they're fearless

          i don't usually feel vulnerable to animal attacks (there is some paranoia about bears and big cats and zombie deer) but when i'm outside and they start yipping and howling just a few groups of trees over i suddenly remember how to pray

          that dog is so chill 'yeah i'm floating. no big. s'all good *doggy paddle*'

          ohhhh laws. ohhhhh my baby. you're so non-texty tonight. shut up.

          back doesn't like hammering and carrying plastic stakes. guess vacuuming the same day was a dumb idea. and it's gonna rain. and bear's mouth breathing on me again. if i loved him more than i loved my comfort i'd let him on the bed while i eat a pill til i pass out, but to my fake dismay, i do not

          they have zero sense of personal space. they mouth breath on me, they lick my eyebrows and they sit on my chest smiling down at me

          and i guess i lost the picture of cookie smiling at me while suffocating me when my last phone fitz out.. how depressing, that was a good picture
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
            I am so glad you got sleep!

            Cookie is naughty boy!! I understand your concerns about him getting eaten. Before we got our back fence, we had a coyote visit us on our back porch. We had our windows open so it was like it was our bedroom. It sounded like a hyena. Of course that is why there no outdoor cats in my 'hood.

            Space dog is so cute!
            We have those issues here too. Cats strictly indoors for me. The dog is big enough to fend for himself mostly. Unless a mountain lion actually comes around. (Yes they've been seen in my neighborhood, no I haven't seen one.) my friends backyard chickens got eaten by hawks.
            Breathe. Move forward.

            I just eat what I want...

            Comment


            • i'm down 4 lbs. i still feel like a very uncomfortable in my skin blob though and seeing myself on a security cam didn't help much

              last week was a trick and this week is the real period. i feel unutterably disgusting.

              food's been wings, burgers, some spinach egg bread that i almost gagged on, sardines and orange salad i made yesterday. i need to boil eggs sometime in the near future. had a fish plate lunch with ma

              cookie's been foiled again and i can relax
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                i'm down 4 lbs. i still feel like a very uncomfortable in my skin blob though and seeing myself on a security cam didn't help much

                last week was a trick and this week is the real period. i feel unutterably disgusting.

                food's been wings, burgers, some spinach egg bread that i almost gagged on, sardines and orange salad i made yesterday. i need to boil eggs sometime in the near future. had a fish plate lunch with ma

                cookie's been foiled again and i can relax
                Hah HAH! On Cookie.

                Just realized that space dog was floating. Couldn't see that on the phone. So cute!

                I feel like a complete blob myself. Don't know if it's my ovary or just plain old bad eating. Trying hard to eat good and get back to partial blob.
                Breathe. Move forward.

                I just eat what I want...

                Comment


                • yeah i'm trying to convince myself that physical activity will make me less inclined to destroying breakable objects with a bat and/or my hands

                  i haven't done any activity, but i also haven't broken anything. i either consider it a win or a stalemate, i don't know
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                    yeah i'm trying to convince myself that physical activity will make me less inclined to destroying breakable objects with a bat and/or my hands

                    i haven't done any activity, but i also haven't broken anything. i either consider it a win or a stalemate, i don't know
                    Swing a bat is physical activity or so I am told!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                      Swing a bat is physical activity or so I am told!
                      Exactly!

                      I really need to get my sledgehammer out of the corner . . .
                      http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                      Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                      And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                      Comment


                      • Orgasms used to help my menstrual symptoms. Then again, I never tried swinging a bat.
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                          Orgasms used to help my menstrual symptoms. Then again, I never tried swinging a bat.
                          It can be exhausting.... and the bigger the bat, the harder the work!...

                          Comment


                          • Naughty kids! 😃

                            Happy weekend!
                            Breathe. Move forward.

                            I just eat what I want...

                            Comment


                            • cold weekend

                              i usually rest-squat on my toes, so tonight while communing with my furry children i tried flat foot squatting and almost fell over. my balance is immaculate

                              years of primal and my guy have moved me towards groomed, bearded muscle men, permanently. so baybuh, you can't shave ever

                              gramma food- bbq meat, hot sauce, boiled cabbage

                              i still feel a bloaty mess, but i'm in a good mood

                              it's coooooooooooooooooold

                              i didn't time manage well when bay first arrived, i was running around like crazy. so his first viewing of me was no makeup, air dried hair, crocs and socks on my feet. yes i keep my look classy at all times. i'd like to look somewhat more polished this go round though. but i am kinda wondering how he'd feel about kissing on dark lipstick. and then i wonder what eyeshadow to wear and how to wear it. and then i wonder about clothes and shoes, what will look nice and still be comfortable?

                              that's why i have a pair of crocs. they seem to be universally hated, but they're comfortable and i do inside/outside chores in them. so i guess i'm not just low maintenance, i'm SUPER low maintenance.

                              and petting a wet from the water bowl hairy dog chest is the worst. and i've lost the dog nail clippers. if jigsaw somehow stole me and i woke up in a torture room, it would be full of cold wet dogs

                              i was outside gramma's last night around 5 (it was dark already, so it was night :P) and a group of coyotes started howling less than a mile away. i had just gotten out of my car and i could have been eaten dead. THEY WERE TOO DAMN CLOSE.

                              but i did pass a large group of deer while driving. them big deer eyes and ears. i like it.



                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • Brrrrr!! Cold here too! I am such a light weight. Went to a pig roast this afternoon and spent almost all of it huddled over a fire pit. So now I smell like fire. And I put my flannel sheets on. Can't wait to get in bed.

                                So I haven't been able to get a complete handle on the Bay situation. I believe he lives elsewhere from you? I think he likes you no matter your shoes or make up. Just a feeling there.
                                Breathe. Move forward.

                                I just eat what I want...

                                Comment

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