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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Maybe i can gently coerce him into letting me dip him in brownie batter..

    Can we do this with all men?
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • I like how you think!

      There are a lot of men I would not lick, even dipped in gf brownie batter!

      Comment


      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post

        i effing love canned cranberry sauce. i make some during the holidays, that is quite delightful if i do say so myself, but there's something about the canned stuff.
        I love the canned stuff too. I know it's like mutant but I don't care.

        Hope your back settles down!
        Breathe. Move forward.

        I just eat what I want...

        Comment


        • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
          I like how you think!

          There are a lot of men I would not lick, even dipped in gf brownie batter!
          There's a sig line right there.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by excursivey View Post
            I love the canned stuff too. I know it's like mutant but I don't care.

            Hope your back settles down!
            thank you it's mostly okay right now so toes are crossed

            Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
            There's a sig line right there.
            it really is haha

            i try not to think of the internet as real life too much, cause then you just, like, drown. there are bad people in the world, and they put their badness online, and it's saved forever for others to gaze upon and despair

            i'm no saint myself. it's close, though. but when i've had a bad day or when i'm feeling particularly froggy, i like to lob insults at people who are acting douchey and the best part is when they hurl them right back. it's cathartic. it's also good times.

            i feel kinda bad when my douchetide recedes though. 'you look like an asshole, now everyone in the whole world will hate you'

            i like to think that if i've stood up for you or your friends, there would be some kind of head-nod respect in passing. but snarking something i didn't say and the others with me didn't say on another thread.. well then. goodness. see if i act all kumbyah for your ass again

            sleep today; 3ish hours

            food today; sugar free grape koolaid (shut up i'm a grown up), burger patty, tomato slices, hot wings that weren't hot enough, boiled eggs. i can't remember if i had anything else to drink, i'm kind of tired.

            it's cold. it looks like fall. bear blends in perfectly with the leaves on the ground. i didn't have a camera. i'm sad.

            i promised bay i'd contour and highlight my breasts for him. we'll see how big i can make those babies look.







            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • I like the fact that you use humor to highlight the douchebaggery of others and I have never seen you be mean or spiteful. Laughter is an important part of life and if you can't laugh at arrogant blowhards, who can you laugh at? Please don't listen to the people with no sense of humor!

              I did not post much for a long time because of some the mean people here but I figure the meaner and more arrogant they are, the more likely they are to live in their mom's basement.

              I may have nightmares about the horse head thingie.

              We leave south Florida tomorrow and I am looking forward to some real fall weather. I don't think we will be retiring here, too many fricking old people!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                I did not post much for a long time because of some the mean people here but I figure the meaner and more arrogant they are, the more likely they are to live in their mom's basement.
                That cracked me up.
                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                  I like the fact that you use humor to highlight the douchebaggery of others and I have never seen you be mean or spiteful. Laughter is an important part of life and if you can't laugh at arrogant blowhards, who can you laugh at? Please don't listen to the people with no sense of humor!
                  Me too!
                  Breathe. Move forward.

                  I just eat what I want...

                  Comment


                  • +3 on humor vs douchebaggery
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • I have no idea how I ended up in your journal, but I'm glad that I did. These forums need people like you guys!

                      Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

                      Comment


                      • i don't look like an ass? ...i haven't been trying hard enough...

                        Originally posted by justme View Post
                        I have no idea how I ended up in your journal, but I'm glad that I did. These forums need people like you guys!

                        Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
                        i have no idea either, but get comfy and welcome and stuff

                        waka showed me how much he loved me while i was hugging him by sneezing in my eye. i just.. i feel violated.. my eye feels violated

                        by watery dog snot. is me picking up your poo not an intimate enough relationship for you, hairy dog? yeah. i hope you felt how icked out my eye was all through that cuddle session

                        oh tired. oh food; thin crust haiwaiian pizza, milk, half a bane

                        oh bay

                        oh bed
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • I am proud of you for continuing to cuddle after that gross violation! Last week, before we left for vacation, my Arty came running up to me, put his head in my lap and spit up about a cup of toilet water on my lap. And not the pretty smelling eau de toilette, just plain ol toilet water. I can't wait to pick them up tomorrow from the kennel!

                          Comment


                          • lol.... Love reading this journal... there is some serious humor here... sick twisted humor.... My favorite kind!!!!

                            Comment


                            • ^ Ditto sir, warped it be at times round here, me luvs it to....

                              Comment


                              • they've immunized me for most gross things, cookie puked up (what seemed like) a gallon of liquid on my shirt one night and i just sighed

                                the one thing they do that can still make me gag is puke up chunky stuff and try to lick it up before i can clean it up. i just gag through the whole shooing them outside and cleaning process

                                my love only goes so deep

                                the little neurotic fuzzbutt gives good hugs though. he curves his whole body around me and i go 'oh my goddddddddd my heart is yourssssssss, you petite little angellllllll' and then he tries to stick his nose up my nose to smell my brain. i think he thinks i should let him. i disagree.

                                and i'll have to make myself stop that subject there. i'm as bad as those parents who carry 50 pictures of their kids and proceed to tell a 10 minute backstory for each picture

                                and doc, i'll have you know this entire journal and everyone in it is super serious. super! serious!

                                all the time!

                                ..but speaking of time, i'm not really used to having people stick up for me. my social awkwardness is dialed up to 11 right now.. god i'm such a nerd

                                people say nice things about me and i turn into an emotional butterfingers, fumbling words everywhere

                                so don't think i don't appreciate it, i do. i'm just busy being awkward

                                and lovelorn relatives who won't listen to reason make me want to thump someone on the forehead

                                gramma food; bout a cup of chicken and dumplings, mashed potatoes, lima beans, lots of back and forth griping about who was bugging us and how

                                supper food; a pile of green beans with ham bits, some soup with most of the liquid cooked out, corned beef and cheese rolls

                                i actually took vitamins today. i'm glowing in my adult responsibility. my heart's been skipping at night and my nostril twitching during the day so it was officially past time, as i'd forgotten how disturbing the skips felt

                                i walked the road a while. i didn't get eaten by bears, which was good. i was nervous about walking-walking since the last time it was a negative experience for the backal area but so far so good

                                i asked bay not to leave me for someone who could move, he said he wouldn't

                                stretching was not good, whatever went wrong is still healing

                                i'm very tired but i don't want to get in bed

                                i feel guilt for putting the dogs up and want to hug them all at the same time. sleepiness and feeling like i don't hug them enough will do that

                                even though 9 times out of 10 i'm scratching somebody's side or face or belly

                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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