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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • thank goodness i wasn't the only one who didn't believe that one

    bay fell asleep before i was ready for him to. wake up i don't care how tired you are!

    i went for a very long spell without buying lunch meats, til this week. the ham chewed like ham, the 'herbed chicken breast' was like subway meat. sort of gooey to chew. that was one sad cucumber meat canoe.

    i've decided i'm going to hose the homestead down in oceans of mint oil. no matter how many glue traps i put down, the wispy brown recluse types party on the ceilings and walls. WHERE ARE YOU COMING IN FROM. I HATE YOU GET OUT. i put damprid buckets in there, i expect them to be overflowing soon enough.

    i'm thinking maybe i should start eating hydros more often so i'll feel like doing my dirty work outs. i'm seriously looking forward to that booty one. but i'm still very tired.

    being sore then depressed then periody then tired = sloth-like abilities

    Melt Cosmetics — DGAF

    ^


    hurry and get here dvd

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
      thank goodness i wasn't the only one who didn't believe that one

      bay fell asleep before i was ready for him to. wake up i don't care how tired you are!

      i went for a very long spell without buying lunch meats, til this week. the ham chewed like ham, the 'herbed chicken breast' was like subway meat. sort of gooey to chew. that was one sad cucumber meat canoe.

      i've decided i'm going to hose the homestead down in oceans of mint oil. no matter how many glue traps i put down, the wispy brown recluse types party on the ceilings and walls. WHERE ARE YOU COMING IN FROM. I HATE YOU GET OUT. i put damprid buckets in there, i expect them to be overflowing soon enough.

      i'm thinking maybe i should start eating hydros more often so i'll feel like doing my dirty work outs. i'm seriously looking forward to that booty one. but i'm still very tired.

      being sore then depressed then periody then tired = sloth-like abilities

      Melt Cosmetics — DGAF

      ^


      hurry and get here dvd

      lol... that video makes me want to pull out my roll of one's and fivers.....

      Comment


      • Isn't that just twerking in slow mo? What about the brazilian butt lift workout? Any idea if it actually works? I could use a little butt lift...
        Breathe. Move forward.

        I just eat what I want...

        Comment


        • I do try to be good mostly... But I think in my heart of hearts, I believe something that is attributed to Mae West: Good girls go to heaven; bad girls girls go everywhere else. This ideology often hinders my efforts at goodness.

          I had a very slender but not muscular friend who swore by the stairmaster. She said she could see her butt moving against gravity as early as a month after she started. Very tiny butt. It might take a bit longer with a normal or opulent butt.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by excursivey View Post
            Isn't that just twerking in slow mo? What about the brazilian butt lift workout? Any idea if it actually works? I could use a little butt lift...
            If your butt is anything like your bicep you are doing just fine. Now put that thing away before my ego gets hurt.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by excursivey View Post
              Isn't that just twerking in slow mo? What about the brazilian butt lift workout? Any idea if it actually works? I could use a little butt lift...
              I had that. It's just aerobics but the guy is hilarious "yeah come on, let me see you shake that booty" etc with a really cute Latin accent. I have mine to the thrift store though. Squats. Squats rule.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                I do try to be good mostly... But I think in my heart of hearts, I believe something that is attributed to Mae West: Good girls go to heaven; bad girls girls go everywhere else. This ideology often hinders my efforts at goodness.

                I had a very slender but not muscular friend who swore by the stairmaster. She said she could see her butt moving against gravity as early as a month after she started. Very tiny butt. It might take a bit longer with a normal or opulent butt.
                Not opulent, basically normal. I just wish it was a bit perkier.

                Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                If your butt is anything like your bicep you are doing just fine. Now put that thing away before my ego gets hurt.
                Flattery will get you everywhere sir! Course you're spoken for so... wah wah...

                And I was gonna put moluv's on here too but barely know how to multiquote and she's on the next page and that's too hard for me. So as to squats it seems like I only ever feel that in the thighs. Maybe that means I'm doing it wrong? Lunges seem to get at my butt. Maybe more of those? But I would definitely take the stairs more. My office is on the 7th floor.

                Carry on Joanie! Sorry I hijacked your journal with my butt Orchid. Hope you are well today! I'm outty...
                Last edited by excursivey; 10-10-2013, 09:57 PM. Reason: typo
                Breathe. Move forward.

                I just eat what I want...

                Comment


                • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                  lol... that video makes me want to pull out my roll of one's and fivers.....
                  you could pull out a roll of 50s and hundreds and just give me the whole thing because we're best friends

                  Originally posted by excursivey View Post
                  Isn't that just twerking in slow mo? What about the brazilian butt lift workout? Any idea if it actually works? I could use a little butt lift...
                  there was twerking!

                  also some kinda cool slinky sort of twister thing

                  and jiggles

                  Originally posted by excursivey View Post
                  Sorry I hijacked your journal with my butt Orchid. Hope you are well today! I'm outty...
                  if i put up a youtube of a kinky dance workout video i'm excited to try then i think it's safe to say i invite all the butts talk
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • kathy bates. my love began as a child watching her in misery and it's grown so much stronger. she's so coo.



                    i'm freaking exhausted. i slept so much, but i'm still so tired. i had a bane, it helped.

                    i'm sick of food. i don't want to eat anything because nothing sounds good.

                    i looked at a series of pics of a cervix during and after a menstrual cycle. the human body, being disgusting and fascinating since forever. it looks like a penis head and there's a certain kind of symmetry to them facing each other during sex

                    looking each other eye to eye, if you will

                    or mouth to mouth. you know, pitcher and catcher. spit.

                    have you seen that mri of sex? it looks ridiculous and painful. and then another video of the cervix during orgasm, it just kisses the vaginal wall over and over to pick up semen

                    fascinating and disgusting. since forever.

                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                      you could pull out a roll of 50s and hundreds and just give me the whole thing because we're best friends



                      there was twerking!

                      also some kinda cool slinky sort of twister thing

                      and jiggles



                      if i put up a youtube of a kinky dance workout video i'm excited to try then i think it's safe to say i invite all the butts talk
                      If I pulled out a roll of 50's and Benjamin's, I'd gladly give it to ya.... because I was OBVIOUSLY wearing someone else's pants!

                      Who doesn't like a litte butt banter.... or ALOT of butt, if that's your thing....

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                        Who doesn't like a litte butt banter.... or ALOT of butt, if that's your thing....
                        I may be in need of an eye exam. I read "banter" as "butter." Which sounds like something that would go well with Epic Meal Times' bacon flavored lube.

                        Or maybe I'm just in need of a head exam.

                        I loved all the cervix info.
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • you had me at butter, you lost me at bacon flavored lube

                          i remembered the link!

                          warning, warning, here are innards, don't look if you have a weak constitution

                          now that my ass is covered, the link!

                          Cervix Photo Galleries | Beautiful Cervix Project

                          i've been refreshed in being strtled at looking at a screen full of what appears to be penis faces staring at me. so be warned. they're looking at you
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                            you had me at butter, you lost me at bacon flavored lube


                            Cervix Photo Galleries | Beautiful Cervix Project

                            i've been refreshed in being strtled at looking at a screen full of what appears to be penis faces staring at me. so be warned. they're looking at you
                            Ack me too!

                            Gonna have to check out that other stuff at home... I do remember seeing that MRI video once. It IS quite fascinating...
                            Breathe. Move forward.

                            I just eat what I want...

                            Comment


                            • Two of my uncles(they are twins) were in Kathy's class in HS (white station hs in Memphis).
                              They weren't really friends with her, but knew her socially.
                              She wasn't one of the "cool kids".
                              It makes me feel much better about not being a "cool kid" myself... because she if pretty freaking grand IMO.
                              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                                It makes me feel much better about not being a "cool kid" myself... because she if pretty freaking grand IMO.
                                Kathy is sitting somewhere right now, reading this, and thinking, "Damn, cori mentioned me. I am finally one of the cool kids."

                                Comment

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