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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • gay panda's sexual hotness transcends race and gender and mathmatical ability

    i can only sit here, fan myself, and be sad that i am not a panda too

    (gp, call me!)

    but yeah, it wasn't even specialty pizza, it was little ceasars. which is already not great here but i was determined by my back that we would have yummy pizza foods and gramma would kill me if she knew i'd bought some when she had some

    one does not thwart the gramma and walk out unscathed

    spoilers

    spoilers here

    don't look, spoilers

    whah kin hov mahn talks to the dea? noh mahn



    and this is all kinds of sexual and i like it. or sensual. either way, i want to move like her just walking down the street.



    oh food. last night lettuce, chicken, tiny tomatoes, grapes, some water, a pill. today, chicken, cheesey rice, some alfredo sauce, 2 diet dr peppers.

    i'm already slacking on the water

    back has been very unhappy, to the tune of feeling like a painful pack of ice was sitting on it
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • From another thread:

      We're watching the maturation of the american male in real time

      no one said it would be pretty
      hahahaha! As Ralph Kramden might have said:

      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • *preens* yeah, i am

        thanks

        before i take note of what i've eaten since last night i'd like to point out that one taste and suddenly you don't want to just fall off the wagon, you want to swan dive off of it

        so last night, and the last bit this morning, food was mom's spaghetti..........

        ........

        he's nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down the whole crowd goes so loud he opens his mouth but the words won't come out he's chokin how everybody's jokin now the clock's run out time's up over PUHLOW

        okay. out of my system now.

        snap back to reality OH! there goes gravity OH! there goes rabbit he CHOKED! he's so mad but he won't give up that easy



        stupid flour products. you do this to me.

        cramps all night, hydro, power nap that was around 4 hoursish and here we are, hello world
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • ach... my uterus...

          if this turns into one of the wretching, gasping, crying, coals inside me cramp times i will be a sad kid

          it just feels weird there, like it's getting the razor sharp claws ready. if you're a lady you probably know what i'm talking about. if you're a guy why are you reading about my vagina.

          i realized it's been quite some time since bear was bathed so he got a bath. he wasn't greasy, he's not stinky, he just got his monthly bath whether he needed it or not.

          and under his fluffy coat he is one stocky pup. i don't know what his dad is, but it was muscular.

          i had chicken from kfc and regretted it before i ate it. my cramps are making my stomach hurt too.

          so much tmi. you're welcome.

          i'm tired. i got some new books. one zombie book and 2 reissued stephen king books because my original copies of them are 1, long gone because lending books is a terrible idea and 2, falling apart

          oh grapes. yes grapes.
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • I understand. For me, it wasn't menstrual cramps, but ovulation pain. OMG, sometimes it would literally take my breath away. If I knew what day it was, I'd start taking aspirin and ibuprofen so it would only hurt instead of feeling like a hot poker in an unwanted place. (Though I'm not sure there's a wanted place for a hot poker.)

            Feel better.
            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

            B*tch-lite

            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

            Comment


            • maybe i can bargain with my body. like i know i've made some bad kitchen choices lately, but i just ate a whole lot of steak just for you! be a pal and don't hurt me

              3/4 thick steak, yellow squash, small sweet tater

              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • I have heard that sacrificing an unneutered male helps with girl pain. I hope it gets better!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  gay panda's sexual hotness transcends race and gender and mathmatical ability

                  i can only sit here, fan myself, and be sad that i am not a panda too

                  (gp, call me!)
                  You rang?

                  I dub you Bloodorchid, Honorary Panda. Now you and I can twerk together and set this world on fire.
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                  Comment


                  • am i sacrificing their balls parts or their whole body? i'm good either way, i just want to get it right

                    i can see it now... gp and bo, twerking through eternity

                    maybe like this



                    but probably like this



                    oh foods.. leftover steak, chicken thigh on my salad and breast by my steak for breakfast. some cheesed up eggs just now. some water. more diet dp than water. dammit.

                    more squats last night

                    shouldn't have vacuumed earlier

                    and bay, i love you
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • I would pay lots of money to see GP and BO twerk!

                      On the sacrificing, the only unneutered male in my house just laughs at me when I say that. I have threatened to put binder clips on his balls so he understands my pain but I think I might lose that battle.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                        I would pay lots of money to see GP and BO twerk!

                        On the sacrificing, the only unneutered male in my house just laughs at me when I say that. I have threatened to put binder clips on his balls so he understands my pain but I think I might lose that battle.
                        BTK.... Bind, Torpor(drug), Klip?
                        Let him wake up and feel the pain...



                        Of course.
                        The point at which you re-drug him so that you can remove the clips and allow him to wake up unbound may be a BIT of a problem.
                        YMMV.
                        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                        Comment


                        • I really, really want to know how to twerk. I have the ass for it. (I'd share if I could, BO, I really would)

                          Panda- do you give lessons?
                          http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                          Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                          And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

                          Comment


                          • i found this



                            but this has more ass. but no instruction. but a whole hell of a lot of ass.



                            i saw this picture earlier and was overcome with OMFGTHAT'SADORABLE and showed it to bay. his response? 'no you can't get pregnant'



                            supper; another half a thick steak (once again, thank you almost rotten meat sales & freezers) and spinach alfredo rice. dem salty carbs tho. too much of that, but i'm too tired to care.

                            sore butts from squats is good. urban decay mascara doesn't wash or oil off. i ordered the vice 2 palette. the UD lipstick sample i got feels weird and dryish on my lips so i'm glad i didn't order some tubes when they came out. i'm sleepy. i bathed bear before brushing him so his loose hairs matted up and i had to cut a big one off his neck. poor boy has a buzzed spot, but as long as he's getting brushed and i'm conversing in my Talking To The Dogs voice he's a happy camper

                            pomeranians, man. they shed.

                            they make up for it with brains though. and so much loyalty that i have to step carefully so i don't back kick them in the face, or trip when they walk on my shoes. that's mostly bear. cookie runs around infront of my feet. thankfully waka just tries to smother me

                            I'M SO HAPPY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO INADVERTENTLY TRY AND KILL YOU

                            but yeah i'm tired

                            and i guess i'm feeling hormonally maternal since i'm going on about the dogs

                            cramps took a break today, some now. oh my goh-hoh-hodddd pleeeeease periodateeee aaaaaagggghhhhhh
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • hhooooooolycrap THAT is talent! lol

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                                hhooooooolycrap THAT is talent! lol
                                Dear, sweet lord - it's the mullet dance: business at the front, party at the back. I'm a convert. Holy, holy heavens.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                                Comment

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