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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • i will have me an ass, one day!

    i'm still using checks, i'm such a throwback
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
      i will have me an ass, one day!

      i'm still using checks, i'm such a throwback
      I'm sure you have one now, but it will be a better butt by building bootay bumps by bending

      I still use checks for some bills... but most stuff is autopayment..... and amazingly, it helps your creedit score, if that is a concern.

      Comment


      • i wonder what would happen if i got the best score ever..

        breakfast! 2 smallish burger patties, chicken breast, lettuce, diet dr pepper

        water soon

        tired, couldn't sleep when i wanted so i watched another episode of the heart she holler when it came on. that's still a weirdass show

        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • The only paper checks I write these days are for the rent. When I was drinking too much, I started getting dinged for late charges on my utilities and internet, so I just switched to paying online. No more late charges. Now hardly any alcohol either. I'm saving money, but for what, I have no idea.

          One-legged squats are awesome! My knee is still weak from hurting it over a year ago. It's funny, but getting older doesn't bother me or make me feel old except for that one thing. It's just bizarre to me that a year+ old injury can still rear its ugly head.

          You'll have that ass you covet eventually. The Tarot told me.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
            The only paper checks I write these days are for the rent. When I was drinking too much, I started getting dinged for late charges on my utilities and internet, so I just switched to paying online. No more late charges. Now hardly any alcohol either. I'm saving money, but for what, I have no idea.

            One-legged squats are awesome! My knee is still weak from hurting it over a year ago. It's funny, but getting older doesn't bother me or make me feel old except for that one thing. It's just bizarre to me that a year+ old injury can still rear its ugly head.

            You'll have that ass you covet eventually. The Tarot told me.
            I thought ass coveting was a sin.......

            Comment


            • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
              I thought ass coveting was a sin.......
              Yer neightbours is, I reckons anyone else's fine, go for it....

              I always carry an emergancy check secreted in me wallet, just in case!

              Comment


              • Yes, it's a little known fact that "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife," is actually an error brought about in translation. The original was "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass," which was because burros were so valuable.
                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                B*tch-lite

                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  The only paper checks I write these days are for the rent. When I was drinking too much, I started getting dinged for late charges on my utilities and internet, so I just switched to paying online. No more late charges. Now hardly any alcohol either. I'm saving money, but for what, I have no idea.

                  you're saving up to buy a pony. for me.

                  One-legged squats are awesome! My knee is still weak from hurting it over a year ago. It's funny, but getting older doesn't bother me or make me feel old except for that one thing. It's just bizarre to me that a year+ old injury can still rear its ugly head.

                  my right knee crunches some. i figure it's from when it used to pop in and out of place when i was younger. it never hurt but when you're squatting down to look at something and see your knee go boopBOOP.. cringey feels, man

                  You'll have that ass you covet eventually. The Tarot told me.
                  the tarot is never wrong *nods*

                  Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                  Yer neightbours is, I reckons anyone else's fine, go for it....

                  I always carry an emergancy check secreted in me wallet, just in case!
                  you have a point there..

                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  Yes, it's a little known fact that "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife," is actually an error brought about in translation. The original was "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass," which was because burros were so valuable.
                  then again so do you...
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • i'm getting fertile again! i had 2 cramps last night and a micro speck of blood and i had 1 cramp this morning and a smaller micro speck of blood

                    this is how quickly my body responds to changes, and this is why i'm magic

                    weeeeee

                    but yeah, had the last bit of corn bread and potatoes several hours after breakfast and i'm pretty sure that's why my babyless uterine rejection time sputtered. looked at objectively, periods are gross, but i endure them so i can use whatever flowery language i want

                    shark week is still a favorite term of mine, because i'm still immature

                    i did TWO sets of squats this morning, because i'm basically she hulk

                    and leaves have been falling lately *slow clint eastwood squint* i'm not ready for brown and cold

                    and i'm calling bullshit on this commenter asshole. i'm also calling her dumb. and crazy.

                    Can we not glorify weight loss, please? Can we find it within ourselves to accept ourselves as we are, in all our strange forms?
                    from this article
                    I Can't Stop Looking at This Major Weight Loss GIF

                    and now i want buttermilk..
                    1929 Celeb Diet Story: Joan Crawford Eats 3 Spoonfuls of Cold Soup
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • I like this next comment down:
                      "If this woman is proud of what she did, who are you to tell her not to be?"
                      Depression Lies

                      Comment


                      • because she's basically giving herself metabolic disorders by losing weight, deh
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • There must be some synchronicity going on. I was just writing part of today's journal entry and was speaking to my disdain of the term "Aunt Flo." Then I read shark week, which makes me cackle like a nut. Because it's funny. Not sure if this is still mandatory in Women's Lit 101, but it's pretty good: If Men Could Menstruate by Gloria Steinem

                          Excerpt:

                          So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

                          Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event:

                          Men would brag about how long and how much.

                          Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.

                          To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful, Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little about heart attacks, from which men would be hormonally protected, but everything about cramps.

                          Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields- "For Those Light Bachelor Days."
                          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                          B*tch-lite

                          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                          Comment


                          • 'oh you changed your pad 5 times today? I JUST GUSHED A FULL GALLON, LOSER'
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                              Yer neightbours is, I reckons anyone else's fine, go for it....

                              I always carry an emergancy check secreted in me wallet, just in case!
                              no, my neigbors ass uses a walker.... not much coveting going on here... actually my neighbor really does have an ass.... named Jack..... what a noisy ass he is to! brays at all hours of the day and night!

                              Comment


                              • I didn't know they made walkers for donkeys!
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                                Comment

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