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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • *gasp *

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • Oh, those cute little bouncy legs!

      My boys get pretty excited at dinner time too.
      My Schnau dances in adorbs little diva circles and makes growly noises that don't mean growls but excitements.

      And my giant Gunnar boy... I think he was an original Pavlov's experiment, because he has the worst sort of drool reaction to foods. He rains from the mouth. So icky. But it makes me laugh.
      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

      Comment


      • drool rain.. gah haha

        bear does the excited whine-groan-whimper-groany growl thing for dead chicken parts

        they don't bounce, but they do stand up straight and groan at me to hurry it up
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • when i pen the dogs up at night time like little ragamuffins, good things happen. like being able to stretch my legs out at the pc without worrying about kicking bear in the stomach or waka in the back or cookie in the face

          and bay, when you wake up remind me to whap your forehead like the v8 commercials for being confusing

          it seems like my hair only grows when i cut or color it

          i've only been productive in brief spurts today. water plants. working on the dogs' timidity by exposing them to things they were nervous about, like their bellies to mist from the water hose which also did double duty cooling them off.hang out with gramma's bird while mahm and aunt hung out with her. vacuum gramma's floor. fold my clothes. this was spaced out over the whole day.

          and i will never understand why they're scared of the bird. 'ooo he scares me to death, he bites' ...yeah... when he's pissed off because people put fingers in his face. and when he acts like a grouchy old man. otherwise all he wants to do is kiss, talk and amiably chew fabric

          it confounds me, is what i'm getting at. but i will admit that when you say 'hey' in a knock-it-off tone when he bites down, he'll bite you again just to prove he can before finding something else to do.

          he let me rub my cheek on his body today though, so i guess you could say things are getting pretty serious

          i'm pretty tired. and my stomach hurts.

          and as a former smoker, i want to say goddamn do i hate being around cigarette smoke. it smells horrible and makes me feel sick, and i was the only one with enough brains to quit after a grandparent died from body wide cancer. the end result of a lifetime of smoking right in front of you and you just keep smoking. i don't get it.

          but then i AM feeling pretty pissy right now so i could vent my grievances about anything, even grade school cafeteria food. years gone stuff. in fact i think i will. THE HAMBURGERS WERE TERRIBLE. THEY WERE SOYBEAN BURGERS. THEY WERE BAD. and gross. BUT THE WORST OFFENSE OF ALL IS THAT THE CHOCOLATE PUDDING WAS MADE WITH WATER, NOT MILK. WATER!! IT WAS A PILE OF DEEP BROWN STICKY SLUDGE ON THE TRAY. WERE THEY TRYING TO KILL US! IT SEEMED LIKE IT.

          there.

          in another short bout of productivity i finally put some eyshadow sample on my eyes to see if i'm sensitive to it. i've been wanting the palette for a while, maybe i should see if i can actually wear it before thinking about getting it. so far i think i can. it feels good on my face. it feels like cold air is blowing on my 'balls though.

          i'm pretty tired, so i think i'm just typing stream of consciousness

          but yeah. bay. my palm, your forehead.

          uhp.. uhp.. uh oh. my eye watered.

          but i'm not happy lately. and i don't know if it's hormonal or if it's because of my inability to function like a normal human being.

          i really liked this eyeshadow. i hope the tears are from feel badness tiredness
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • THE HAMBURGERS WERE TERRIBLE. THEY WERE SOYBEAN BURGERS. THEY WERE BAD. and gross. BUT THE WORST OFFENSE OF ALL IS THAT THE CHOCOLATE PUDDING WAS MADE WITH WATER, NOT MILK. WATER!! IT WAS A PILE OF DEEP BROWN STICKY SLUDGE ON THE TRAY. WERE THEY TRYING TO KILL US! IT SEEMED LIKE IT.

            there.
            You crack me up!
            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

            B*tch-lite

            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

            Comment


            • where was this gif last night, dammit



              Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
              You crack me up!
              comments like that are how i feel accomplished
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • so i got a fur clipper for the dogs. 'whisper quiet' it says. it's only marginally softer sounding than beard clippers.

                bear's back and back legs are done. he's full of treats. i'm pretty sure we're both traumatized. i'm also pretty sure it'll take a few years of daily use before i even think of doing his belly so he won't have a heart attack

                or maybe i'm just traumatized. when i shooed him off, he went bouncing with his brothers. now he's getting chest scritches. i guess his horror is over. i'm exagerrating btw. if he had show stress in ways other than panting, he'd still be a wildman of the mountains

                he looked manly and hairy before, but groomed isn't too bad a look on him so far

                and i want a line of people to line up so i can punch them all in the face
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • it's probably not nice to wish your pets/children were a little dumb.

                  i heard something by my foot so i look down. i become confused. is that.. cookie's foot? what..? i look more. i look behind me. there's a waka. how did you..? *pet pet*. here comes cookie dancing out from his nap spot to get rubs too.

                  i walk with them back to their bedroom and the gate is still up and bear's panting excitedly like i've come to let him out too since his brothers forgot him. i put them back in and looked down to see wtf. because wtf, seriously. cookie and waka figured out they can squeeze through the bars

                  omfg you guys. stop being so smart on the times i want you to be dumb.

                  reminds me of when they were babies and in a pen while i was fiddling with yard stuff. they were all tiny, but cookie was tiniest so he kept hopping out to come say hi to me then he'd run and hop back in to say hi to his brothers. their heads were just a little bit bigger than his so they couldn't get out too.

                  throughout my prolonged pms i've been mostly irritable and antisocial. now i'm wibbly over my dogs as puppies, and missing puppy cuddles and puppy breath and tiny puppy bodies with fluffy puppy fur. my itty bitty baby boys.
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • Yup Joanie is right... you are a hoot..

                    Comment


                    • thanks you too

                      the spider cricket apocalypse seems to have slowed down some. there was evidence of only one mouse, back where the crickets were coming in (only 2 poos). an extra strength febreze odor eliminator stick on has fully killed the dead mouse pee smell, however there is a dirty trash scent by the front door. i don't know what that is from.

                      over the last few months, with all the home problems snowballing, i've become frozen with indecision. i need to let go and breathe and realize i can't rebuild that place from the ground up in one year. so far i've figured out how to keep the place temperate with strategic placing of box fans, so that's one good thing. i will definitely replace the kitchen counter, that's another solid and easily attained decision. mouse problem seems eradicated, good.

                      now i just... pray i don't fall through the floor before i have enough saved to fix it
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • if my spine wasn't held together with metal i'd maybe think it was crumbling more than it already has. and wonder if i'd suddenly crack and have my torso fall in half like bella when her alien devil baby was born.

                        yes i watched that movie. it was hilarious.

                        my anxiety is flaring and had to look at pictures of puppies to make a business call. it didn't help much, but it helped a little.

                        i decluttered some clothes. it helps looking at minimalist and cleaning sites. i will declutter more.

                        so my back hurts and i'm a scaredy cat and i kinda want to cry, but singing the boys' names while petting them makes them overjoyed so that's what i did.
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Cuteoverload.com?
                          Depression Lies

                          Comment


                          • dees

                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • That definitely qualifies as a cute overload.

                              *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

                              I want to cuddle it and smell it's breathes.
                              Instead I shall smell my 100pounds of cuddles feets.
                              Do you KNOW how good dog feets smell?
                              Seriously.
                              You probably think I'm crazy now, and you're right... there is paperwork to proves it.
                              But the feets smell so good! Like beau-ti-ful hay fields!
                              If you don't smell the feets sometimes you are missing out.
                              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                              Comment


                              • Hmmm...I can't say I have ever tried to smell my dog's feet. I am pretty sure he would look at me as he often does with that "WTF are you doing?" look that he does so well. It is right up there with his "You may feed me now servant" and his "Well, fine, I suppose I will lower myself and allow you to pet me again" looks.

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