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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • May you achieve melatonin induced restfullness........If not.... add Benadryl and valerian root..... nite nite

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    • i went on a renewed determination food shopping trip for me and the boys. plus some wood putty. plus some lipstick. it's called ballet slippers! so much evocation of delicate femininity! must have!

      so the boys had chicken wings and sardines and liver and eggs. easy peasy. my brain is too good at making things difficult.
      like jr high math, i see the problem, i know the answer, i write the answer, the teacher says..... show your work. and suddenly i'm dumb

      and i had steak and liver and squash and sweet tater

      ...this is weird as hell

      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

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      • and so, the dogs are farting like they chowed down on cheap food

        they're happy bellied little fart machines though

        laying down makes me wide awake

        i squished 3 beetles. motherduckers found a pass through the sevin dust into my rosebuds. 'DIE YOU COMMIE SCUM! *squish squish squish*'

        i'm sleepy. stop judging me.

        i had more steak for breakfast and i'm full again

        and... that's all
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • Doggy farts - aaaah! I haven't lived with a dog in so long, I forgot about doggy farts. As you might know, cats are just too lofty to fart. LOL.

          I understand about laying down, and suddenly not being tired. I've been trying to correct my bad sleeping habits lately. Once I turn off lights/tv, I close my eyes and try to keep thinking, "Don't think; don't think." Sometimes that's so boring that it does work to put me to sleep. Other times I imagine that I'm traveling (floating) to the back of my brain which is very far away. Comforting and also sometimes works. Other times I just fail.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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          • in all of history there has been one cat not too lofty to pass enough gas to power a fleet of hummers, and that was a cat my mom got when i was a teenager

            the cat was beautiful, delicate, ladylike, demure and she had gas 24/7

            pick her up? *poot*
            put her down? *poot*
            sits in your lap? *poot*
            gets petted? *poot*
            wakes up? *poot*

            i wish these dogs would realize they don't have to follow me and stay around my feet all the time, bear just did a boredom sigh. i don't want to go back outside to get eaten by bugs and i don't want to get on the floor

            play, you mangy curs. let me be sick in peace
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
              the cat was beautiful, delicate, ladylike, demure and she had gas 24/7

              pick her up? *poot*
              put her down? *poot*
              sits in your lap? *poot*
              gets petted? *poot*
              wakes up? *poot*
              Lady Friend is working but I might have interrupted to read this to her. LOL.
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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              • beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • we are grumpy this morning

                  is it pms? is it from being awake again? all of the above?

                  cookie is escaping again, the crazy neighbor has unleashed his girl dog. girl dog is in heat and comes around my dogs sometimes. today bear has had all he can stand and is running around from door to window to window to door panting and whining

                  i want to eat all the food but i don't want to cook any of it

                  i think it might be pms. that's usually it when i get this suddenly irrationally ragey. look out world, i have.. really mean glares. be scared.

                  i guess i could have remaining steak and zuke and sweet tater. SIIIIIIIGH.

                  i need to grocery shop. and recipe print. cause i don't want more eggs. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.

                  Last edited by bloodorchid; 07-07-2013, 06:34 AM.
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • we are already hanging on to our temper by our newly trimmed nails so as not to get banned

                    and as this is our journal, we'll refer to ourselves by the royal We

                    smallish food list made, smallish grocery list made

                    i feel like i did when i first started primal

                    i'm almost as giddy as a school girl
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • how in the hell can a buggy load of vegetables and some fruit equal 87 dollars?!

                      but on the upside, everyone is friendly on a sunday morning

                      or maybe getting fully back on the wagon is making me exude scents that say 'this one is healthy, say hi'

                      dog food = chicken legs, sardines, livers
                      me food = sardines, peach, livers, egg yolks, full on really real apple juice

                      i bet this is how rich people live. or people without kids. mine have 4 legs though. but i just imagined what people would screech if i had human sons and they were pushing eat other out of the way for raw liver and i moved one away with my bloody hand 'no you had yours!'

                      yeah i don't think you can do that with human kids
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                        how in the hell can a buggy load of vegetables and some fruit equal 87 dollars?!

                        but on the upside, everyone is friendly on a sunday morning

                        or maybe getting fully back on the wagon is making me exude scents that say 'this one is healthy, say hi'

                        dog food = chicken legs, sardines, livers
                        me food = sardines, peach, livers, egg yolks, full on really real apple juice

                        i bet this is how rich people live. or people without kids. mine have 4 legs though. but i just imagined what people would screech if i had human sons and they were pushing eat other out of the way for raw liver and i moved one away with my bloody hand 'no you had yours!'

                        yeah i don't think you can do that with human kids
                        Sure you can - just not in front of the neighbors.
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • 'MAWM HURRY UP I'M HUNGRY!'

                          the last line killed me in my emotional areas

                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • I totally read that as peach livers. Yeah, don't ask.

                            It's totally unfair that we're irrational and THEN we bleed like a stuck pig. Can't we just squish all the unpleasantness into one week?

                            Good luck with fixing the sleep. And the sick. *Hugs*
                            http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                            Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                            And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                            • i will be victorious against this scourge of nature! probably. most likely.

                              ..eventually

                              bay watched tootsie last night after seeing the dustin hoffman vid. that was a turn on, because while in reality he probably just had an urge to watch the movie after seeing it talked about, i like to see it as him being touched by the plight of a sad, not beautiful lady dustin who stood alone in the corner at parties

                              tootsie's not a comedy to dustin hoffman? aaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh </3

                              i had a 5 hour nap yesterday afternoon. it was not enough. but a playeful of garden vegetables and steak for supper then breakfast was a good thing. and i meant to type plateful. i keep typoing all over the place and i'm getting tired of going back to fix it

                              the boys have already decided to boycot their kibble that i left in the bowl for when they got hungry during my erratic weekend sleep schedule. i let them out at 5 with chicken legs and bear actually said GRRRROMP! getting his. i check their kibble levels and there's plenty left. pickyass dogs. there are starving wombats in ethiopia who would shank you for what's in that bowl.

                              trying to kill everyone with fungus in plague inc is driving me crazy. the closest i got was over 5 billion dead then suddenly south africa started healing itself for no reason. if i could buy n uclear bombs on that game, it would have been a blackened crater


                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • i am outstandingly annoyed by people who say fruit only diets are more natural

                                no. they're not.

                                cannibalism is. eating what you can find is. potentially being poisoned by eating what you find is.

                                the world is not a utopia of good feelings for all, the world is a metaphorical and literal sht stained bloodbath. no matter what you do, someone, something, somewhere, somehow is getting shafted and someone being sheltered in an AC cooled house typing on a miracle of man computer saying that eating only fruit bought from buildings, storing fruit gathered from different parts of the world in and out of season like magic is living in a world of such vast unreality i can't even boggle it

                                mother nature says - let's give everyone nerve endings so that they'll be safe from hot fires
                                animal says - hey let me eat that baby while it's still alive. you know what, i'm not even gonna kill it, i just want to chew on it a while.

                                science has gotten to a point where i can't even cut plants without knowing they exhibit trauma signs even though they don't have brains

                                it drives me up the wall and i think to myself that it would be a lot easier thinking the solution to violence is eating fruit. but i have enough life experience in sht storms to know NOTHing is the solution and sometimes you just get reamed without lube

                                not even eating expelled tree ovum

                                gah

                                i'm going back to angrily cutting my steak
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

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