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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • Bats at twilight are lovely. One can almost forget that they are winged rats. LOL.

    Okay. So I'm about 12 years old, and we're on my grandparents' small lake/pond fishing and it's getting toward dusk. The bats start to come out. No one is freaking out except my mother who apparently is afraid of becoming a vampire. (Dad and I would surely have welcomed immortality as we are complete screw ups.) So, while we're fishing, Mom starts batting at the rats, er... bats with the fish nets (those ones on poles). All is well until she makes contact.

    Now she's got a freakin' bat in the net and she's screaming for my father to help her. Dad, pragmatic to the point of sometimes being cruel, takes the net and shoves the bat under the water 'til it's dead. Mom's screaming. Dad's screaming at Mom to not upset Joanie.

    Joanie is scarred for life.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

    Comment


    • if it wouldn't have scarred you more i would have been like 'pin him to a board, let him be a lesson for the other vampires!'
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
        if it wouldn't have scarred you more i would have been like 'pin him to a board, let him be a lesson for the other vampires!'
        Please say you're leaving parenting to others. LMAO.

        Poor wittle vampire bat. LOL
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • there are reasons i have dogs *nodding*
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment




          • I once rescued a sweet little Hoary bat that had a wing tear in my backyard(probably from a failed cat attack)... I drove it over an hour to a bat rescue in Ocala. That was after I perked it back up by feeding it meal worm innards mixed with a bit of sugar water as a kick starter. It was terribly weak at first... after sucking up some liquids It ate the worms readily!
            Florida Bat Conservancy Florida Bat Species
            My husband still refers to that incident when he feels the need to make a point about the depth of my insanity to someone who doesn't know me. (There was also the time I drove three baby opossums over an hour to meet a rescue lady at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.) LOL
            Bats are not rats...
            They are not rodents at all.
            They are special and wonderful, and cute!
            Last edited by cori93437; 04-29-2013, 08:19 PM.
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • i bet if you tied strings to their feet and let them fly around they'd get mad

              then they'd turn into dracula and eat you
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • I may not love bats as much as I should, but Cori, if the world were filled with more people like you, it would be a better place indeed.

                In all my years of watching Buffy and then Angel, I never saw one vampire turn into a bat. Spike would have made a hot bat. Those are the shows to watch to get real live true info on bats, aren't they?
                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                B*tch-lite

                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                Comment


                • Big, fluffy, warm june bugs!
                  “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                  And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                  Comment


                  • chickens loooooove june bugs, and japanese beetles... and crickets.... and earth worms

                    Comment


                    • and engorged ticks. i gagged when i saw that one.

                      i ate entirely too much and now feel sick

                      after the initial WELCOME HOME I MISSED YOU HI leg sniffs and underfoots, bear licked a hole in my calf. i guess my flesh was most delicious. i don't know if i should just cut his fur myself or let him be extra stressed out with a stranger and a loud trimmer. he's pretty manly now, got his man fur in

                      which means it's really thick and probably too insulating for anywhere south of antarctica

                      and coyotes sung to their food a few minutes ago. it's unnerving when you're outside and can hear just how close they are to you. just on the other side of those trees over there.

                      'this is what prey feels like... i need a boomstick'

                      and now bear's eating my other calf

                      it would probably look crazy if i all capped BE GENTLE WITH THAT POOR DOG DAMMIT as a comment to the vid



                      none of my dogs would ever be that chill, they'd act like they were dying if i even thought of being that rough

                      and this dog.. please, shave her down. let her have some dignity

                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • i spent some time brushing and trimming the boys

                        of course i'm not done. of course. they are tetchy and particular so i only have one of bear's footpads trimmed 'no those are my feets, can't has *yoink*' but butts and bellies and chests were done

                        hair... hair everywhere

                        mountains of hair are outside

                        i will never be clean again

                        but i will need to procure some trimmer shears as regular scissors make too-blunt lines. but they were happy with thorough brushing, and seem to be happy with trimmed butts and bellies. maybe i won't have to hire someone for this specific job

                        i also need to man up, eat a pill and get back into a stretching habit. too much stiffness from letting pain rule and not moving much is happening again
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • i'll be damned, it's real

                          So it turns out this tiny alien-like skeleton is actually human!

                          after the ghoul-bait had time to air out so the fumes would stop giving me a headache i started painting tonight. i'm no pro, but it doesn't suck so far

                          as a thank you for brushing and cutting his hair today, bear puked on my sheet when i finally got comfortable. gross, little bear.

                          and my spine feels crumbly and hot

                          and spring has sprung because i'm eating salads again

                          i dreamed that i thought the bath tub at the homestead was falling through so i moved it. it was light as a feather and underneath was solid flooring and i was relieved. i dreamed this because part of the floor is rotten and i'm pretty sure the tub will fall through one day

                          so, new bathroom floor. new kitchen floor. new upstairs floor. new wood frames. new inside walling. new outside walling.

                          shouldn't cost too much money at all
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • BO - how have you been ???? sorry I have been MIA lately - but I am back and haven't read all 142 pages to catch up ...... but if you could just summarize in a sentence for me...........................I think I was up to Bays visit........................
                            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                            ...small steps....

                            Comment


                            • one sentence.. hmm..

                              i've been better, but i've been worse, but i'm doing better than i was
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • good girl..............whens his next visit ? or you could go to him ??????
                                "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                                ...small steps....

                                Comment

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