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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • ohhhh come on, that tiny hat? those 2lb dumbbells with her arms?

    that woman could lift a car one handed and she was talented enough to make 2 lbs look like work

    pure GOLD, i say!
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • i think this would go over well with the majority of my facebook friends

      Jon Stewart lampoons anti-sodomy, anti-abortion, anti-welfare Republicans | The Raw Story

      that was sarcasm btw. there are some that are genuinely nice, the rest would RABBLERABBLERABBLEGODJESUSBIBLEgossipgossipgossipR ABBLERABBLE
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • ugh. just ugh. all of it, ugh.

        but green tomatoes at the farmers market, and eggs. and milk.



        yoo noo noothing joon snoooooo


        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • Hahhaa, I saw a GIF-set on Tumblr of whatsherface saying something, including "John Snow" and I could *SEE* her accent. It amused me.
          Depression Lies

          Comment


          • i have this deep intense desire to go around saying 'yoo noo noothing' now

            jon...

            snuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • fried green tomatoes, squash and catfish. breakfast o champions!

              of the seeds i started, cherry tomatoes, dill basil and oregano are out of their confines. sweet mint has exploded in the pot, peppermint is slowly, insidiously, spreading out. the boys found a dead hummingbird yesterday and that was depressing. so teeny and so dead.

              i bought an electronic vermin repellent when i bought poison, and it works. it works so well that the mice migrated from the back half of the house where i plugged it in to the front half. dicks. they left a million craps, so that's how i found them. but they heartily dug into the poison so, you know, die bitch die

              cause they crapped on the things i'd taken over there and i had to wash everything

              i tanned with my sister yesterday afternoon and it was nice even though my back was completely crapped out

              i was moving items upstairs at the homestead, they were light but i had to hold it overhead. my spine ached around my rod after so i guess i rebroke it all over again, who knows

              but tanning. *before sun* why are we doing this it's so cold agh no eeee. *in sun* oooooh so warm.

              if i had been alone i'd have taken off more clothes and lay like a cat.

              in a deep U with my tail on my face.
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • fried green tomatoes, squash and catfish. breakfast o champions!
                Total drool.

                in a deep U with my tail on my face.
                You have a tail? Oh my - as if you weren't already interesting enough! Some people have all the luck.

                My brain is bringing something forward... oh... X Files episode. Many babies born with tails in one community. Guy with tail and the ability to woo lots of women into bed by shape shifting.

                Small_Potatoes.jpg
                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                B*tch-lite

                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                Comment


                • why does that tail look real?

                  how did they stick it on the baby?

                  why does it look like a duck penis?

                  is it a duck penis?

                  because it looks like a duck penis
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • The magic of tv I guess. Now most tv uses dolls for babies, but I'm not sure what they used in the late 1990s.

                    I had no idea duck peni were so news worthy. Because of course, I had to google them once I read your post.

                    However, a search of "duck penis recipe" yields mostly penis stews made with ox and beef penis. I'm thinking crazy bar or country fair food like Deep Fried Duck Penis on a Stick. Yum.
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • I Can't Stop Staring At This Insane Duck Penis GIF

                      i'm not eating that ^ and if you made it and invited me to try it, i still wouldn't eat it
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • so i felt tired as fk after a shower, so i put a face on and went to pick some stuff up at various shopping establishments

                        covergirl. oh my.. oh my, covergirl. your foundation. i finally wore it, and oh my.

                        rosy cheeks? COVERED BAM
                        caked on appearance? NO BAM

                        awww yee. BAM

                        it's been a while since i wore makeup

                        and my usual new makeup getting place finally has the spring lip stuff in. i've been lusting after wild watermelon for a while now, and i saw it in store, and i was all panting and heaving bosom and turgid members

                        but it's just another hussy red. but yeah i still got it, because my other hussy red lip butter is dark, and this is light

                        so when i'm feeling less of a hussy, i'll wear wild watermelon. when i feel super slutty i'll wear the dark one

                        see? more than one red is necessary

                        and the roofing is coming up away from the fireplace brick stack whatever, so i'm going to try out flexseal. and see how it goes. hopefully well.

                        the mice have chowed down on the poison

                        i got some yard work done

                        hummingbirds buzzing at the feeding behind me makes me shiver
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • George - actually I think that BO would love her boys to meet your girls......................... and I will throw in the emasculators !!!!!!
                          "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                          ...small steps....

                          Comment


                          • i enjoy emasculating things (except bay, you're safe bay) which is why i treat my pups like babies

                            deep down inside, i think all boy pups like it

                            and i was wrong about wild watermelon. i can admit when i'm wrong. it is delightful on my lips, so if you see it in stores, buy all the stock

                            and i had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast, because i'm a badass who doesn't conform

                            and because it was lovely
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                              I Can't Stop Staring At This Insane Duck Penis GIF

                              i'm not eating that ^ and if you made it and invited me to try it, i still wouldn't eat it
                              Andrew Zimmern (sp?) did a show somewhere in some Asian country that served all kinds of animal penis. Basically since they're cartilage, they pick up the flavor of the sauce or soup. And yes, that gif is mesmerizing. LMAO
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • Because I LOVE Isabella Rossellini!


                                Ya gotta love the part where she says, with a smile, "But the cock I like..."
                                Ahhh, the power a good double entendre!
                                “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                                ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                                And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                                Comment

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