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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • i think bob ross is creating nature from heaven, i found me a happy little tree



    and it was indeed delightful

    i spent several hours at the homestead again, took advantage of the warmth and tried to used a post digger to dig a wisteria hole. i think the entire yard is nothing but tree roots.. but i made a deep enough hole eventually and soon enough the birds will have new greenery to fluff around in while they eat all my fricken bird seed.

    my god, they're pigs

    i was outside for most of those hours. when i'm away from the tv and computer i relax more, and found myself yawning at 9 pm. bay and i stayed mostly away from tv and computer while he was here and we were yawny then too.

    but where was i. besides yawning.

    i don't know. that whole place is more feelings than words.







    and is it plastic? is it glass? is it MAGIC?!

    it's gen-you-wine redneck art is what it is

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • Awesome photos. I think what has happened to those bottles is called "slumping".
      Depression Lies

      Comment


      • due to a series of assholes doing things the dumb way, the back yard is full of broken glass and nails and half burned wood shards and door knobs. some of the jars are old, some are less old, but all are flammable apparently

        REGULAR FIRES MELT GLASS JARS. but not window pane glass. BUT FIRES MELT GLASS JARS.

        some of them slumped into puddles. so coo, so fancy

        among what i listed, i also found an ugly old sink scrubber holding open mouthed frog. i'm guestimating it's from the 70s, because the 70s were also ugly

        i'm scientific like that

        and if i do squats like the worst ballerina in the world does plies, my bottom gets worked like bay showed me. next time i see him he may have something fun to grab on like i had. butt! rawr

        really though, i want a donk. and i may just now know how to get one.

        2 steaks and a sweet potato. before eating = delicious. after eating = so much regret. i am so full.
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • I love the photos! Very evocative.

          I know in advance that this is cornball, but if they still sell the old Buns of Steel workouts, those were bun burners. But I'm not even sure they lasted through vhs. heh.

          Looks like you're having some magic in your life - what a great thing.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Buns of Steel (in all of its cheeeeezzzzyyyy glory) id FREE!
            *gods bless teh youtube*


            Lots of thems... buns of steel - YouTube
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • i'm unsure how i feel about this.. i don't know if i could respect myself in the morning
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • mice have invaded my homestead. i was hoping to avoid this because i will have to engage in chemical warfare and poison their fluffy little faces

                i don't negotiate with terrorists

                especially when they crap all over the kitchen counter

                and i filled a bird feeder to the top this morning and 8 hours later, 3/4s of it was gone. the trees were full of a million million chirping birds. if they ever decide to go feral i will be so screwed. also, at grammas, i opened her birdcage so the bird could stretch his wings then walked into the kitchen. so he was all 'hell naw you ain't leavin me here alone' so he flew to the kitchen curtain then flew to my shoulder

                well. okay then.

                so he sat on my shoulder while i started eating, then said something that sounded exactly like 'is it good?' i took another bite and he said 'is it good?' again, so i took the hint and started sharing. he will accept: strawberry pie crust. he will accept once: cheese. he will hiss at and try to bite you if you offer him: lemon pie crust

                he did bite my neck and i had to tell him that i didn't care if he was a little old man, i would punch him in the face. then i gave him more strawberry pie crust and we were cool again.

                on the one hand, it feels like i'm doing a lot at the homestead. on the other, it only feels like it cause i'm slowly working my way around the yard. there's a lot of trash and beer bottles and wood and nails. there is also old carpet fused to the ground and hidden caches of plastic bags. the window upstairs is stuck cracked open so wasps find their way in. actually i think they just ghost through the walls, i find them all the time

                the seeds haven't sprouted beyond the 2 plants i saw, and those are gone. i think it's been too cool til now, but there will be warmth for a little while at least so i can put them outside. after checking it all for wasps again.


                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • you know this, bay




                  i sleep horribly. i am worn out.

                  food is better.

                  i am tired.
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • Who is that guy in the Buns of Steel video??? I remember the woman with the bodacious bubble butt. Mostly squat type things, steps, etc.

                    If your dogs or you can handle it, a cat is very useful for discouraging rodents of any kind. Cats are easy and indoor-outdoor cats are even easier as there is no litter box issue. Someday, not only shall I wear purple, but I will have too many cats.
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                      Someday, not only shall I wear purple, but I will have too many cats.
                      Thats just plain scary........

                      Comment


                      • ooooohhhhHHHHHHhhhh tamileeeeeeee



                        there are videos dedicated to her butt, too
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • this is why i have animals and not children

                          Reasons My Son Is Crying

                          'i wouldn't let him drown' cracked me up

                          when my mood goes down, my tolerance goes with it. when i read/see/hear someone being stupid i think 'hodor. hodor hodor hodor.'

                          my bottom still feels warm and worked from just a few real live squats the day before yesterday.

                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • I can only assume the father who does that blog has a great sense of humor. I like when the boy cries because he can't look at the pictures of himself on the phone...pictures of him crying.
                            Depression Lies

                            Comment


                            • when life is horror, you either laugh or you cry
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • Well my face is red. It's funny how things you remember being good seem so hokey now. I would now like to put the entire Buns of Steel incident behind me.
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                                Comment

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