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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • stupid back. stupid comfort food lunch that i don't regret.

    i can't remember if i took a hydro today or last night. i remember eating it but i don't remember when.

    and whoever invented pinterest should get a nobel prize. vinegar, baking soda and lemon juice I'M READY TO CLEAN LET'S DO THIS YEAH

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • sweet saintly diabetic paula deen, how can chicken liver be so good? literally the last time i had it i could live without it but now it's BUTTERY AND DELICIOUS.

      but good lord flounder is bad. even hidden in a bunch of veggies. but i was craving egg yolk so i mixed 2 in the dressing. the boys also got liver and yolk with their wings

      waka did not appreciate me nudging him away from bear's yolk repeatedly so he growled. waka. ):<

      no SIR.

      the olay red flower scented shower gel makes excellent shower cleaner, and the smell stayed strong in the bathroom and on my feet so everything smelled beautiful for a long time. the kind of smell you want to roll in. like a dog on poo. that good.

      i'm just typing to type now. ahh.

      Am I Doing It Right? - Cheezburger

      come on kitty, jeez



      and this. applies. to me.

      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • Poor kitty's not getting any traction. I laughed though.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • poor little doofus cracked me up too

          i had chinese for lunch. dear god don't judge me, i've spent the last forever filling myself up on cucumber and baby greens and fish and avocado and my pcos hasn't budged and my back's been inflamed anyway and yes i'm rationalizing it, shut up

          because i used a leaf blower for a few hours and then spent another hour being slightly bent over putting things together with fiddly little screws

          it.. it doesn't feel good



          i.. i don't feel good



          but i think i'm going to wear glitter eyeliner. just because. no reason. it's pretty in the tube.
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • itty bitty little lentil

            Meet A Tiny French Bulldog Puppy Named Lentil

            i had my first conversation with future new neighbors today. i looked out the window and saw aunt's giant dogs wallowing all over neighbor person and literally dropped everything and ran to call out 'ARE THEY BOTHERING YOU ARE YOU OKAY'

            'yeah haha love thes guys'

            whew.. but yeah, ice broke neighbor met. we're good. it was weirding me out how every time i looked up before he got dog jumped he'd be staring at me. n=1 says men who do strange things are scaryish. and a million wasps spent the winter in the roof and the dying stragglers somehow find their way inside through cracks. my boys love chasing and biting at flying insects so i can already tell it will be war with the wasps. they will be rent assunder and driven from their lands so that my fur sons may live out their lives in peace and happiness

            but neighbor dude listens to the same station i do so that's pretty cool. we won't have to have volume wars for dominance.

            i still feel rough but i feel slightly less rough

            the boys are loving having free reign to run in and out as they please. i've been leaving the door open so they're inoutinoutinout with happy fuzzy faces

            i've been inoutinoutinout with happy faces too

            i couldn't sleep last night so i'm tired, and full of chicken and avocado
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • i know there are nice, normally flirtatious men out there

              i just don't attract them

              so a nice enough looking guy going out of his way to offer his assistance repeatedly makes me leery. other people around? yeah? just talks to me. every time. okay i can take a hint but life experience dictates that you will be crazy and stalk and follow and act like a rattle snake who doesn't know what NO means

              i need to be a mind reader. that would help.

              i texted bay to help me and he replied in so many words 'he wants to put his penis in your vagina'

              i knooooow, shut up and bring your muscles here for me to hang on to already

              and i am sick to fck of people saying walking dead is boring when it goes longer than 5 minutes without zombie brains spraying everywhere like a bukakke vid from hell. shut the fck up already and read a book, all the tv you've watched made your brain fuzt out into ADHD land

              dumbasses

              no one asked you all to whine about it every 5 minutes

              you know what i'm sick of? andrea hopping on the wrong dicks and being a general moron but you don't see me whining about it to anyone but bay. gah.

              i'm sleepy. and back on the wagon again after the chinese debacle. except for some more strawberry pie. if i wasn't meant to eat it it wouldn't have been invented.

              i had exactly 1 caffeine today. go me.
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • my stab is healed and only gets tender when i push on it. i guess that means i shouldn't push on it.

                hi. i'm sleepy. and decluttering is horrible. it doesn't make anything cleaner, it just pukes up junk you didn't know you had.

                but it's for a good cause, cause bay is coming to my haus to get kidnapped and kept forevers.

                you think i'm joking. i'm not.

                i'd hoped to look and be perfect for this moment, but i uh.. i'm just gonna look like a mere mortal. if i can't nab his attention with playboy tits, i'll nab it with food

                by golly!
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  my stab is healed and only gets tender when i push on it. i guess that means i shouldn't push on it.

                  i'd hoped to look and be perfect for this moment, but i uh.. i'm just gonna look like a mere mortal. if i can't nab his attention with playboy tits, i'll nab it with food
                  I'm glad to see you have a firm grasp of the obvious with the cut.....

                  If he is a "normal" guy, either attractants will work... both is better....

                  Comment


                  • i have plenty of socks to stuff my bra with
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                      i have plenty of socks to stuff my bra with
                      lol.... false advertising.....

                      Comment


                      • yeah
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          yeah
                          I guess falsies aren't that bad if the food is good..... don't burn dinner.....

                          Comment


                          • Yay, Bay visiting! That is awesome and exciting and I am sure he will love you just as you are.
                            Depression Lies

                            Comment


                            • he better, cause if he doesn't i know where he lives

                              i'll fruit loop his lawn, or something equally heinous

                              i'm gettin 'cited i was nervous. then excited. then nervous. then excited. now i'm excited again and tomorrow i'll be nervous

                              woo.. *exhale*

                              but okay, still on food track, still low on caffeine again. i haven't been able to get to sleep this past week. up until last night it was from back discomfort, and last night it was from hyper brain. it wanted to relay everything that could go wrong with the visit

                              *scoff* like i hadn't already thought of that

                              but spent time at the slightly less abandoned looking home. i give up on specifics and am right now just focusing on making it livable
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • i watched guys take out the old unit to put in a new one

                                there's nothing quite like seeing the wood paneling under vinyl siding break off, no problemo, to make you feel safe and secure

                                but discovering it used to be mint green was somewhat amusing 'daaaaamn house, you old!'

                                ugh.. but learn from my mistake. don't run a floor cleaner all over the floor until AFTER any home improvement project that might pop up is completed. when i left there was a pile and scattering of at least 1 decade's worth of dirt and dust and dirty things on the (formerly) clean floor

                                full of burger patties and salads, not what i wanted but it'll do
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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