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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • and if you have a thousand dollars, you can have super multiple orgasms all over your body!

    orgasm - NARS Cosmetics

    cause haaaaaaappy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaay toooooooo your faaaaaaace
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • a small palette of matte urban decay shadows?



      WELL I DO BUHLEEV I WILL HAVE ME ONE OF THOSE

      and i've been awake 24 hours. and it's been without the magic of caffeine. i was pretty damn tired, laid down a while, got up, laid, washed face, kinda wake now, not hungry, had half my food tracker's calorie thing for breakfast

      i think the parameters set keep me eating less than i usually do. i think. i feel like i'm eating less.

      maybe as much as i hate being told what to do, insomuch as a smart phone app can make me do what it says, i do better with bossing that comes from me reading it in my head and feeling bad for not adhereing
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • If I had only gotten near a Sephora today I would have gotten me an Orgasm of some sort.. alas! It was not to be...

        And...hey there snookums... you need dis...
        Cat-Shaming
        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

        Comment


        • *cough* sephora.com */cough*

          and that whole tumblr reminds me of growing up with cats lol 'this is mine, this is mine, that is mine, you're mine' i loved those cats tho, so all the sitting in my way of everything was immediately forgiven

          so i talked to mom about gifts yesterday. i asked her what she thought about what i was thinking about getting elder sibling. she said not to bother spending money. but i got you something. don't bother spending money.

          oh.. well.. there goes any excitement i had for making people happy by getting them nice things. because i don't exactly have a whole lot to offer the world any more. if life hadn't made me crippled, crazy and poor, yeah i would have had plenty to offer

          and yes i know i can still be a productive human, it's just taking longer and with more pain

          but now? well yeah, i can help you clean. i understand that that is more helpful than also giving a gift for christmas, but.. you know.. i'm trying to make people happy

          and like a stupid, my feelings are hurt because i'm getting rejection after putting myself out there

          but all the deluxe free samples ensured my sisters and nieces would get plenty of girl stuff, while the big stuff can be split between mom and big sister
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • also. when did various canned fish turn into salt bombs.

            also. i could probably eat 100 nori sheets.

            also... if the dogs don't stop barking at The Great Nothingness i'm going to buy them humiliating duck bill shaped muzzles.
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • yeah.. i'm still awake

              fugh



              something else i've noticed about calorie tracking is that a dumb part of my mind says 'it's within calorie range, eat it' to things i wouldn't regularly consider eating as they aren't primal/my body approved. gramma wants to give me food? 'aaaayyyyy, let's eat it. mom wants to give me food? 'aaaayyyyyyy let's eat it. it's within calorie range

              it was only for a few days, but it took me til today to notice.

              you stupid brain. we cannot do what normal people do to lose weight. it doesn't frelling MATTER if it's within calorie range. jesus.

              moron.

              i hope your obliviousness good times were fun for you. because 2 oblivious days give me things my body has to deal with that i'd rather not have to deal with, you unbelievably self absorbed douche nozzle.

              i hate plucking, you asshole
              beautiful
              yeah you are

              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
              lol

              Comment


              • Funny ass video....

                Love your sarcasm too...

                Comment


                • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  also. when did various canned fish turn into salt bombs.

                  also. i could probably eat 100 nori sheets.

                  also... if the dogs don't stop barking at The Great Nothingness i'm going to buy them humiliating duck bill shaped muzzles.
                  Duck bill shaped muzzles!? Must see. Maybe buy for my mom's yappers. Ha.

                  You eat Nori sheets - just eat them.. plain? I should try this.
                  My journal

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                    Funny ass video....

                    Love your sarcasm too...
                    it's a talent that many people don't appreciate

                    Originally posted by Zee View Post
                    Duck bill shaped muzzles!? Must see. Maybe buy for my mom's yappers. Ha.

                    You eat Nori sheets - just eat them.. plain? I should try this.
                    Identity Crisis: Duck-Billed Dog Muzzles (Might Fit Cats) | Geekologie

                    note the look of pure humiliation on ze pup's face. that face says 'i will never unexpectedly shrill-bark and make you jump 3 feet in the air again'

                    or it would if it were one of my dogs wearing it. and if i could eat nori sheets plain i might, but they suck the moisture out of my face so i'm forced to load them with things like tuna. but if i could eat a hundred nori tuna fish roll wrap things, i would
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • annnnnd... i am fairly easy to please. caffeine, a new (and hopefully better) brush for the dogs (because needs moar bristles) (because they shed like leaves) (on my clothes) (and sheets), and some girl stuff and i am content. the sad mood is gone under the aggressive pushing of caffeine chipperness

                      and today... i had meat for my calories.
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • i think bay fell asleep on me

                        and the rest of my calories were lemon pie parts. gramma knows it's my mortal weakness.

                        and 1600 steps is like 5 minutes of movement

                        and this. smart boy... or girl.



                        and this. because lol.

                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          Identity Crisis: Duck-Billed Dog Muzzles (Might Fit Cats) | Geekologie

                          note the look of pure humiliation on ze pup's face. that face says 'i will never unexpectedly shrill-bark and make you jump 3 feet in the air again'

                          or it would if it were one of my dogs wearing it. and if i could eat nori sheets plain i might, but they suck the moisture out of my face so i'm forced to load them with things like tuna. but if i could eat a hundred nori tuna fish roll wrap things, i would
                          OMG that's awesome!!!

                          Nori tuna fish roll wrap. I do think I should try this. Today. Will report back later.
                          My journal

                          Comment


                          • good luck and god speed *nod*

                            i just ate more, so, you know, s'good

                            and i was awake. all. night. and. so. far. all. morning. i'm pretty tired. but i'm not sure i'd be able to sleep still. but i ran errands and dropped off donations that had been riding in my vehicle a while. cause i'm a responsible and caring american. when i stop being lazy.

                            also i think i like letting the gps follow my every move

                            and when i let creepy gps stalking thing stay on my person, i get morbid curiosities on how what i eat plays out in colors and numbers
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

                            Comment


                            • my scars look weird. i don't know if it's been a gradual change or i just don't normally see them from this angle, but when you're waiting and you have nothing to do while waiting, you stare at your body parts apparently. some of them look like they're pulling into themselves. weird. maybe they're alive and about to stage the secession

                              you get used to em. and when you're used to em and see someone say they have a pink mark from a gentle burn and are freaking out about having a hideous scar on their face, you lol. or i lol't.

                              pansy

                              and cori, i put 2 of this on 2 of this and i feel like a pretty pretty princess now *nodding*

                              if someone handed me a tiara i'd be like a toned down amy farrah fowler

                              and i am almost ready to pay someone to knock me out
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • Funny video.

                                Poor doggies in the muzzles. Though they could work for Mardi Gras.
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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