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the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

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  • i love my baby. we video chatted a few times and last night he would say 'baby you're so pretty' and i would say something dumb because the most anyone's ever said to me before is 'you're no supermodel but you're not ugly'. so i went full on awkward turtle

    and it feeeeeeels good. and it makes meeeee feel good, and lighter inside and more motivated to stay 80/20, 90/10. instead of crawling in my ouch hole with a bowl of mac and cheese, huddled up and hunched over

    so i'm eating fruit and meat..... ON THE SAME PLATE. ohhhh LAWS don't tell the 'eat sugars and proteins and fats separately' police

    for real tho, i just didn't feel like spinach. i think i burnt myself out on it and broccoli a ways back. so maybe since most veggies look gross to me now i could go whole animal eating

    or else just eat meat and cheese and fruit and cucumbers

    also, stretching has become difficult in the hamstrings, upper/lower backals. so i've been amusing myself by randomly bending over and hanging like a dead doll
    Last edited by bloodorchid; 10-03-2012, 02:03 PM.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • i need to find an excuse to use this



      and i actually sat through the whole entire presidential debate. and 'pfft pfffttt' dog tails off my nose, and talked face to face with bear. he gets excited, and pants, and looks at me. and i have no idea what's on his little doggy brain. so i just use an excited talk-to-baby voice and wind him up even more

      the downside to this is, if he's standing on your sternum he will unexpectedly lunge forward and lick your mouth

      he licks his balls sometimes, and the insides of his brothers' ears

      and i bought some dog pee deterrent. i see how it deters them from peeing on things as the smell of it deters me from the room.

      and supper was chicken legs and some baby potatoes and a can of tomatoes/okra/corn stuff. i was gonna drink frozen raspberry smoothie, but i had forgotten how much i don't like raspberries
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • sweet baby jesus i love hydros

        thank you god for hydros

        i tried to teach my dogs some tricks last year/early this year. i figured i'd start simple, with Sit. i knew that if i sat on the floor all three would clamor to play king of the hill of my lap and i'd never get to focus on one so by process of elimination waka got first go

        he freaked every time i touched his butt

        they're smart boys, they picked up what i do and do not want them to do, but i'd like them to know sit and maybe stay and to roll over and die when i point and say bang

        my sister's aggravatingly jumpy (on every body he sees) dog picked up down pretty quickly. that makes me want to try to teach my guys again. perhaps i am competitive.

        thank god for hydros

        time to dig out the body harnesses. prepare yourselves, fuzzbutts. we're gonna learn how to go walkies
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • poor fuzzbutts. so much work ahead.

          Comment


          • yeah payback for all the times they licked my mouth and sat with their butt in my face
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

            Comment


            • Nothing wrong with fruit and meat. Nice grass fed burger, smothered in guac, and topped with tomato paste. That's two fruits, and one of my favorite go-to easy meals.

              Hope you'll post pics of harnessed woofers.
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • there will be pictures, humiliation will be widespread!



                the pups had vitamins and gizzards yesterday, last night i put the harnesses on them... they still hates it, preshis. they stayed close to me the whole time, bear panted the whole time. and i'm like IT'S JUST A HUG! WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE HUGS?!

                but i didn't torture them for long, and they went back to normal after

                today, in order to get chicken legs and gizzards, they ate their vitamins my boys are so smart and good and all that is right in the world

                me, however, haven't done much other than walk around. the back of my knee exploded unexpectedly, and while walking was initially 'oh sweet jesus make it stop' it eventually loosened everything up enough that my knee just feels weak and soreish

                and food today so far has been vitamins of my own, bites off a beef brisket i bought, and a plate full of chicken and green beans and DELICATA SQUASH

                suck it haters, it's back in season
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • my eyes are so sleepy and i don't know why, so i'll blame meds and rub my face like a little kid

                  and this is what we're watching right now



                  earlier i wanted a peach, but i thought to myself 'it'll just make me want more food if i eat it alone... scrambled eggs too? .....no, eff it' so maybe i'm starting to be like my guy and fast for 56 days at a time

                  stupid guy biology.. he fasts and his chest muscle fills out, i fast... and i get hungry
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • oh my GOD



                    YOU ARE SO CUTE

                    only primally unapproved foods i ate at grammas today were one bun and 2, yes TWO, slices of pumpkin pie because hello? punkin pies time

                    i have little to no urge to spend money so far the last several weeks so it's either the routine zoloft or my brain issues are taking a nap. like gods, back at the start of time. they came, they destroyed, they slept

                    and this made me buy black cherry lipstick because if it looks good on someone who looks NOTHINNNNG like me, it will obviously look good on me too. /denial



                    and i was up late, so i'm tired. and i am full of food but i would gladly drink a bucket of chocolate milk.

                    just thought you'd like to know that.

                    because anyone who doesn't like chocolate milk is a liar and a commie.
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • so i decided to watch deadwood. episode 1. never in all my tv viewing life have i heard the f word said so many damn times. it actually got on MY nerves and if i didn't have my baby i'd swear like a sailor daily.

                      i'm still zolofting, the gods of brain crazies still sleep, my bank account is still living.



                      and cookie now jump/clambers on bed to cuddle when i lay down at night. therrrre i am, miiiiiiinding my own business, when he makes me do this



                      so indignifying.

                      food is still on track, yay me. PT while watching a sort of indie serial killer movie, yay me. i just scratched my hand and yawned, yay me.

                      i downloaded an app, it has different sound tones to stimulate different parts of your brain to dull pain etc. one of them says it's for an LSD experience..... i'm kinda scared about trying that one.....

                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • and i'm full of chicken leg, as are the boys



                        mine were cooked though. and my cuticles are pretty ragged cause i'm a nervous picker.

                        EYE OF THE SPARROWWWWWWWW

                        i think i'm now friends with the lady at the store from whence i buyest mine dog's food. 'where've you been? i haven't seen you in a while! don't you look pretty today! come by and see me sometime' haha

                        and no it wasn't sexshul

                        and i had broccoli with my chicken. be proud. i didn't want it. but i cooked it to mush and ate it and it was okay. THIS GIRL SLIPPED ON MY ARROWWWWWWWW!
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • while browsing youtube i began randomly humming Cruella De Vil to myself, so i thought to myself 'well then! let's play it!'

                          and i find this at the top of the search results

                          what is this? someone go find this child and backhand her. and then fronthand her.



                          no. just no.

                          so my disney bent was kicked off with this nutball. she has excellent taste in villains.



                          i feel somewhat antisocial lately, despite being on the receiving end of chit chat with the store lady and showing off my excellent acting chops by having perky conversation with my uncle and his kids. i'm good at faking that. i should have some emmies and oscars

                          and i'm tired the last 2 days. i can feel my mental issues hiccuping and twitching. now logistitheorectihyperboberly i know it's just a manifestation of exhaustion. i know, you know. when i sleep on time lots i'm even keeled, but the schedule got bumped around

                          and i kinda wanna go curl up somewhere and be alone with my existential sadness
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • I don't want to touch sandpaper.
                            If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

                            Comment


                            • Ursula! She is the bomb. Only go curl up somewhere and be alone if it's on a proper sleep schedule! [[eyeballin' you sternly with crossed arms]]
                              Depression Lies

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
                                I don't want to touch sandpaper.
                                it's party time chumps!

                                Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
                                Ursula! She is the bomb. Only go curl up somewhere and be alone if it's on a proper sleep schedule! [[eyeballin' you sternly with crossed arms]]
                                *sigggghhhhhh* okaaaaaaaaay *scuffs foot*

                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

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