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My journey to become a MILF

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  • My journey to become a MILF

    I am starting this basically to keep track of myself.

    I am 41 years old, a woman (obviously by the name....) I wasn't feeling right, like my stomach was going to explode from the inside out. Literally I was holding my stomach in with my hands at times. So I make an immediate appt at the Gyno and he informs me that I do not have an alien inside of me (my idea) and that I am starting peri-menepause..... Uh excuse me Dr but I haven't started my mid life crisis yet so can you stfu! He thinks I am funny, I make him laugh.

    That was about a year ago and I feel like my body has turned against me ever since. I swear it hates my guts! If she could leave me she would. Sweet Jesus and the pms crap!!! Hello!!! Whats with the HUGE zits I got like when I was 15?!?!?! And the cramps?!?!? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!!!

    And for the love of all that is right in the world!!! THE BLOATING!!! GOOD GOD!!! Someone please pop me already!! I just started a new career in the Air Guard so I have to wear a flight suit. What is that you ask??? You know the onesie pajamas little kids wear? Well imagine that without the feet... So yeah trying to camouflage bloating in that is IMPOSSIBLE.

    So I have come full circle. I did the extreme dieting and pills with extreme workouts.... Ditch some weight and it all came back in a hurry plus some..... just like everyone else! (Why do we all think when we go this route that by some luck of the gods they will make us the one that doesnt put all the weight back on after extreme dieting??) Yes I have reached the point of doing all the extreme and NOTHING happening. Yeah thats just TONS of fun..... Being hungry and sweating my ass off working out for nothing.... Good times....

    I wont lie. I have known about this way of eating about the time the first book came out about it- the Paleolithic Diet I believe it was called. In fact I borrowed it from the library and never gave it back. Don't tell anyone.....

    So now I am going the route of self love instead of hate and frustration, patience instead of rushing. In fact as I look back what the hell am I always in a rush for??? If I did it properly a year ago I wouldnt be here... (Patience young grasshopper...)

    So tomorrow I am going to weigh and measure myself and not do it for a month. That will be HUGE for me. Besides I will be able to tell in how my uniform fits what is happening. And here are the other things:
    -Stop doing Insanity workouts every day. My joints are sore damn it
    -Do the Primal workout instead, take walks, made do a little yoga which always calmed me before
    -Most importantly eat Primal.
    -Take deep breathes, practice self love and patience....

  • #2
    Awesome subject Good luck with your journey, you can do it, cougar

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    • #3
      wish you all the luck!

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      • #4
        I totally love the way you talk! You are awesome. Good luck and Grok on. I have seen those insanity workouts and they look insane

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        • #5
          I support becoming a MILF.

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          • #6
            Thanks for the welcome!

            I have found out that even though coconut milk is good for you, one must not imbibe too much at once.... OMG I thought I was going to throw up! Today I opted for half a can without the added CO. I feel it a little but it is WAY better then yesterday.

            Yesterday I was in my room and all was cool. Totally Primal. Today I had some sweet potato fries. One of my great loves in life. Unfortunately training today was long and lunch shortened. I didn’t have time to go to my room and each lunch. I had a double bacon cheese burger sans bun (with a side of funny looks from cashier) with the fries. I felt the full on guilt as I savored each one of them. I realized that this treat wasn’t helping me along on the path of a slimmer firmer ass. Then it was the ‘duh’ moment. ‘Hey jackass you know you can make these at home and they would be oh so much better, healthier and cheaper’ HHHMMMM……

            OK so that was my minor mess up. Let me get up, brush the dirt off and keep moving down this path. Deep cleansing breath in and out, aaaannnnddddd moving on…..

            Plan of attack for tomorrow: I will have my coffee with a smidgen of heavy cream and probably the coconut milk with some berries. Into the crockpot will go chicken and some veggies with a wide variety of spices making a chicken veggie soup mexi-style. For dinner I will have what I call the BAO- the Big Ass Omelet. I have a late flight tomorrow that will go till 0100-0200 in the morning. That BAO usually holds me for 5-6 hours. I should be good to go. I don’t want to bring any food with me. I am so immersed in my training I don’t take time to eat.

            Today I felt so much better. I felt alive and my brain was fully activated today. I have been mostly Primal for a while. Its just that when I fall off the wagon- I do it big time. And it is hard to drag yourself back on the bus. I believe I have undiagnosed Celiac. Yeah yeah been thru all the tests. With my mother having BOTH of the genes and her Irish history and my father who is Italian who had throat cancer in his mid-40’s and is NOT a smoker (throat cancer has a link to celiac) I am going to go with that diagnoses. (Irish and Italian has a ton of celiacs)Totally done with tests and endoscopies. Especially done with dumb ass doctors. Either way whether I have it or not, I feel amazing when I don’t eat grains. I literally fall apart physically and mentally when I do. The list of issues has filled a page with a bullet point list.

            I am feeling good. Maybe someday I will put on that loincloth and run thru the woods like Jane…. And maybe this MILF will find some young Tarzan swinging from a vine…… ; )
            Last edited by Warrior Woman; 09-19-2011, 08:16 PM.

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            • #7
              We here at MDA salute you!

              This fine country needs more women like you, with your can do attitude, and your leopard print bikini loin cloth.

              Why, some of us are standing at attention already!

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              • #8
                Well thanks Darth! You know how to talk to the ladies....

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                • #9
                  I love MILFs for the obvious reasons. I shall add you to the list.
                  People too weak to follow their own dreams will always try to discourage others.

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                  • #10
                    Well...you seem to have impressed some of the MDA gentlemen. Thanks, Now I know what it takes to get a rise out of them. HMMMM

                    Great Journal start. May you have much success in your endeavors...so to speak.
                    Primal since 9/24/2010
                    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                    MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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                    • #11
                      Dear Warrior Woman:

                      You owe us $29.95

                      Sincerely,

                      Hudson Valley Public Library



                      sorry couldn't help myself
                      Grass Fed Beef Restaurants

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                      • #12
                        Oh Hey, I didn't notice that we are from the same area. Welcome fellow Valley Girl!
                        Primal since 9/24/2010
                        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                        MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Scotty!!! I said DONT TELL ANYONE!!! JEEZ!! Cant you keep a secret I post on the interwebz!!??

                          Thanks Pebbles! Unfortunately I am in a little little little town in Oklahoma for training. OMG there is so NOTHING to do here. I wake up everyday wondering why people live here on purpose. I would pack my stuff and live out of my car if I had to in order to get out of here..... Dont mean to such a hater Altus Oklahoma..... but come on! You know its true!!

                          Well today was a good day. I had a primal day. I ended up not eating that much but I wasnt hungry. I had coffee w/ cream, 2 small steaks w/ broccoli and butter. Also the BAO with bacon and lots of veggies. I had my training flight 2 tonight. I only ate a handful or walnuts. Nothing like flying in a Big Ass Plane doing low level flying pulling 2G turns!!

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                          • #14
                            It’s been a week and I stepped on the scale. I don’t know why I do this to myself, I really don’t. I haven’t lost any weight so I felt myself going into that bad place. You know “F this, I didn’t lose anything this sucks it’s a waste of time…”

                            What a minute. Let’s slow down and take a breath. Let me do a recap of the week, the mere seven days I have been doing this.

                            Over the week I had three martinis, very dirty of course. And I did have a smidgen of fudge, like 1/8 of a lbs. Outside of that I have eaten Primal.
                            I don’t measure or count calories. If I do, I instantly get OCD and try to see how low I can get with the calories. Honestly I thought I was going to give myself an eating disorder at one point….

                            I eat eggs with veggies and bacon, coffee with heavy cream, lunch may be a salad with meat, and the last few days it’s been the Mexi-Chicken soup. I have eaten some walnuts. I eat till I feel full. I don’t eat when I am not hungry.

                            Outside of work which can have short bursts of high physical demands, I haven’t worked out at all. I haven’t even walked anywhere.

                            But on a good note- I feel so much better. I sleep better. I feel more alert and think clearer.

                            I know I have a lot of damage I need to heal, all self-inflicted. I need to practice self-love and patience.

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                            • #15
                              "But on a good note- I feel so much better. " That one quote from your post is reason enough to shake it off and go forth strong and achieve MILFdom.

                              We are at that age where it is time to invest in ourself. Patience and a daily "BOA" honey.

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