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Lily's Journal

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  • Lily's Journal

    I figured I'd start a journal here. It's nice to be surrounded by like minded people even if I'm the type to sit quietly in the back.

    Background: I'd been suffering some pretty bad anxiety attacks and a few full blown panic attacks. This turned into a depression a few years back. Not crying all the time horrible thoughts depression, but zero interest in anything depression. I could stare at a wall for hours and if you asked what I was thinking about, I'd have no clue. 'Not wanting anything. I believe it was to avoid any type of panic/anxiety (in hindsight, not the the best solution ).

    I'm not exactly sure how I broke out of it, and I haven't totally still. Starting this journey I'm somewhere just after the depression but still fearful of attacks. Now I'm trying diet to see how far that will help me.

    Goals: First and foremost a healthy body fat percent. I couldn't care less about the weight value, it's just one number in figuring out body composition. My Primary Goal is 22%. Once I hit that, I'll re-evaluate and see where I want to go.

    Method: ■ I eat as primal as I can (min 80/20) with what I can afford. ■ I'm working on getting more protein, I'm not there yet. ■ I track what I eat at** (Note: Goals listed on that page are not necessarily my goals for that day as I'm far to lazy and not nearly obsessed enough to update the goals in the site's system. I know my daily targets... sometimes I comment them at the bottom of the page) ■ I weigh myself every morning* ■ I will add in moving more, but I have some hurdles to get past first. This is already a big step and I really can't overwhelm myself (I don't want to go zombie again). I have a list of things I want to add to my routines and I'm working my way through it slowly.

    *I'm not obsessive about numbers however. If my weight goes up, that doesn't stress me out. I usually expect it and know why it does (and usually I disregard the weight number as the body fat number has more value to me). I just love numbers (and spreadsheets (and analyzing trends)). I've found if I can't have a spreadsheet, I can't enjoy it and I don't stick with it. I've also found that if I enjoy something, it inevitably ends up having a spreadsheet... even if it's just a silly flash game. **I am not a calorie counter. I'm a calorie tracker . I like myfitnesspal because I can display just want I want to see in the 'nutrients' column. I have calories, carbs, protein, and calcium currently (I border osteopenia so I try to keep this at 100% min). My problem is actually getting enough calories when eating cleaner, not overeating.

    Supplements: I'm taking a daily multi, fish oil, and sometimes a calcium pill at night depending on how my day went. I have a vitamin C supplement as it was purchased prior to this. I'll still continue to take it until it runs out.

    Start (21/Aug/2011): 5'3"/34
    • Weight: 222.2#
    • Body Fat: 52%
    • Measurements:
      • Bicep: 15 3/4"
      • Chest: 50 1/4"
      • Waist: 42 7/8"
      • Hips: 47 3/4"
      • Thigh: 25 3/4"
      • Total: 182 3/8

    Current (23/Oct/2011):
    • Weight: 199.8# (-22.4)
    • Body Fat: 46.4% (-5.6%)
    • Measurements (23/Oct/2011):
      • Bicep: 14 1/2" (-1 1/4)
      • Chest: 47 5/8" (-2 5/8)
      • Waist: 40 1/4" (-2 5/8)
      • Hips: 44 1/4" (-3 1/2)
      • Thigh: 22 7/8" (-2 7/8)
      • Total: 169 1/2" (-12 7/8)
    Last edited by Lilyheart; 10-25-2011, 08:18 AM.

  • #2
    I've got my first batch of Jerky in the dehydrator. This batch is for my roommate as he bought the dehydrator and wanted me to use the spices that came with it. Since I don't like what they put in the package, I'll be making my own jerky tomorrow I'm just too excited to see how it will turn out.
    Last edited by Lilyheart; 10-15-2011, 08:18 AM.


    • #3
      The jerky turned out okay. Way to salty for my taste. Good thing it's not my jerky. Getting a few herbs to make my own tomorrow (never made it to the store yesterday). I tossed pretty much the entire herb cabinet when I started this as I can't even remember the last time we bought any. Cleaned out the spice rack, removed labels and washed everything up. Getting some contact paper to cover the bottles and I'll use my label maker to re-mark them. This way I'm not limited to what was in the bottles originally and they will be more protected from light and such.

      I think I've found a protein powder I want to try (Dymatize). It's not pure primal, but I've heard good things about it and it's reasonably priced. I'm working on getting my protein levels further up. They are fine for my activity level right now, but I need to start moving more, so I need to starting thinking more protein.
      Last edited by Lilyheart; 10-15-2011, 08:19 AM.


      • #4
        Made some meatloaf to freeze for the challenge that starts on Monday. Primal bars (from the blog) are cooling to be cut \^^/

        Wicked heartburn today. I haven't had heartburn... ever really. Will need to watch this cheaper protein powder. This was after lunch. I thought it was the hiatal hernia, but I think it was actually heartburn.

        We were inventorying the freezer and had some things that weren't primal but needed to be finished up (limited income... I'm donating what I can, but freezer stuff doesn't work and I won't just toss it) so me and the roommate made a dent in that (really, it's only about 2 or 3 meals worth... the rest he can eat on his own). Therefore I'm sure tomorrow will be blah. He knows come Monday I'm taking the 30 day challenge so we figured might as well get it over with now. Yay pay day tomorrow.

        Oh, went to the store, but didn't get the spices I wanted for the Jerky. Maybe he'll have a slow day at work and we can get to the store early enough I can make the jerky tomorrow. Either way I have to do something with this meat.


        • #5
          Just had one of the primal bars. It's not to bad at all.

          Oddly the heartburn isn't totally gone this morning (maybe the nighttime dark chocolate? It's a different brand then before). Going the next day or two without a protein shake or chocolate. (Silly link of the day).

          Meatloaf with almond flour... I'm not convinced yet It wasn't the bestest meatloaf but I'm not sure the cause. I forgot the onions as well!!! GAH! That's what I get for cooking late at night.


          • #6
            Sticking here how I cook chicken ahead of time as I seem to forget the details if i don't do it all the time:

            Short Version
            • Oven 425 (no need to wait for preheating)
            • Put frozen chicken breasts in oven in baking dish(es), single layer.
            • Wait 25 minutes
            • Slice up chicken and put back into wiped dish(es) with seasoning
            • Wait 20-30 minutes until cooked to 180 internal temp.
            • Put in fridge or freezer

            Detailed Version
            • I take a frozen bag of chicken breasts (no need to defrost).
            • Put the oven on 425
            • Put the chicken in baking dishes in a single layer.
            • No need to preheat... just set oven, stick in chicken, sit down for 25 minutes. It takes me three dishes for this part.
            • Put the dishes in the oven for 25 minutes
            • After 25 minutes, I take the dishes out and set them on the stove. I pile all the chicken in my smallest dish and wipe out the other two dishes. Defrosting makes a lot of water
            • I slice up all the chicken breasts (part will look cooked, some will be pink... (tell my tummy I can't steal a bite even if it smells good)
            • Put the slices back into the two wiped out dishes. Dump seasoning on them. Whatever sounds good.
            • Stick it back in the oven for about 20-30 minutes or until cooked to 180 degrees inside. Cooking time can vary based on how thick you cut your pieces.
            • Stick in fridge or freezer
            Last edited by Lilyheart; 09-12-2011, 11:08 AM.


            • #7
              What I posted on today's blog post:

              My personal challenge will be finding an effective exercise routine. My first attempt will be trying to get over my fear of walking outside the house. Iím hoping to start on a really short walk, and when I get home without a panic attack Iíll be able to convince myself to take longer walks. Iíve discussed it with my roommate who knows me better then anyone else and we cannot come up with a Ďsolidí reason I have such a Ďfearí about walking around the neighborhood.


              • #8
                I really enjoy your introductory post, I believe I will formulate a similar one in the near future. I'm a number person as well and love a good graph/chart when I can get one. Even if I can picture the trend line in my head, it's still nice to see a physical representation.

                Keep up the good work


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Allen Kay View Post
                  I really enjoy your introductory post, I believe I will formulate a similar one in the near future. I'm a number person as well and love a good graph/chart when I can get one. Even if I can picture the trend line in my head, it's still nice to see a physical representation.

                  Keep up the good work
                  Thanks Allen! I know my spreadsheet is waaaay overboard but it's what keeps me interested and excited in this way of life! Without it I just stare at the walls and eat whatever is in the closest box.


                  • #10
                    First day of the challenge... I think it went okay.

                    My food log for the day

                    I need to figure out how to get more calories in. It doesn't take much for me to feel full. That's never been my problem (it's more an emotional or boredom thing). If I ate to full, I'd eat maybe 600 calories a day.

                    I TRIED to cook a bag of chicken today so I could have chicken on salad for lunch... but I royally screwed it up (doing something stupid and unthinking - cross contaminating with things used on the raw chicken) and now I have a pound of overcooked dry chicken from fixing it. Oh well... Maybe it'll go well with salad dressing?

                    I had some... feedback... from my body regarding the yogurt I ate yesterday, so that wore me out most of the day today. I read up on the PBF and made a schedule for the week. I'm going to focus on walking and LHT and after two weeks decide if I'm ready for sprints yet. I'm still nursing a knee that isn't too happy with me (weight related mostly) so I don't want to push that.


                    • #11
                      Great journal

                      Created by - Free Calorie Counter


                      • #12

                        Enjoyed reading your journal. Congrats on your success so far.


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by FLGurl View Post
                          Enjoyed reading your journal. Congrats on your success so far.
                          Originally posted by LexxyV86 View Post
                          Great journal
                          Thanks guys! It's been helpful to remember how days went


                          • #14
                            I have a few things I want to journal about, but I don't have the energy (my back is acting up again... wish I knew why). Hopefully I can get caught up tomorrow!


                            • #15
                              Yesterday was a super super high anxiety day. Seems everything triggered a panic attack. I couldn't even try to watch anything on hulu to relax and they just made it worse. So, needless to say I didn't get to walking. I really was going to but I just couldn't leave the house empty. But my roommate, he works computer repair contract work for the large computer companies and he's schedule isn't set (he does the in home repairs) and he didn't get home until after dark. No way I'm making my first walk, in the dark, on a high anxiety day. That defeats the entire purpose... I need to have a few good walks so that my brain stops associating bad things with it.

                              Which leaves me to how to do I my week now? Do I walk now and maybe ALSO do the LHT assessment in the PBFitness PDF?