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Primal Journal of VeloCity.X - wheeling through the Mound City

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  • #91
    Got a couple of days to catch up on at at least a mostly full battery.

    Thursday, December 1
    B - None
    L - Late after Y, so about 2 pm or later. Left over spaghetti squash w/ bolognese sauce. Good amount of mixed green salad.
    D - Actually made spaghetti and meat sauce for the kids. I had a bit of the sauce and some salad. After they went to bed I made chicken and veggie soup, but forgot to put the kale in, dammit, but had a small bowl of that too.

    Had to sub a spinning class at the Y. Again w/ the HIIT.

    Friday, December 2
    B - None. On a roll here, maybe.... Not so sure it's working out that great. But it certainly is easier time wise....
    L - Again after Y, so about 1 pm. Left over meat sauce, soup, and salad.
    D - Ok, this wasn't so great. Overdid it on dairy - good amount of milk. Had soup, salad, and a couple slices of braunschweiger. But I was out running errands earlier and had several handfulls of cashews while out.

    3rd spinning class this week. Went a bit easier. Too much high intensity can be a problem. Need to LHT and plan on doing that tomorrow. Also supposed to be warm tomorrow so plannng on a bike ride and other outside stuff I need to do.

    I think my more out of control eating this evening was emotional. I think my marriage situation needs to come to a head. I set up a get-together w/ ETB for Monday night to talk. Talked about it a lot at my appointment on Wednesday night, and it just seemed like the kids were confused when she was over for the pre-Thanksgiving dinner. I think we need to know for sure where we are going and we need to tell the kids together. We need to be definitive 'cause it has been far too nebulous for too long. But.... it's hard to completely shut that door.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....


    • #92
      Oh, and what I didn't finish up on wednesday was that after my appointment I went to meet up w/ ETB at daughter's paino lesson. Was supposed to pick up kids from there and take them to my house for another night. Usually my mother picks them up from school and I meet her at piano, but she couldn't do it this week. But when I got to piano, turns out my son wanted to stay at her house and spend the night there. And that really bothered me, 'cause I feel like he wanted to stay so he could hang out w/ her boyfriend. And I know that makes what I just wrote above about closing the door sound really crazy, but... welll... it's complicated. But anyway that really hurt. And then Thursday night when I go to pick them up he's upset that he's not staying over at mommy's house. Which also really hurt. God this sucks. And I feel like they are really getting the brunt of it. It is very unfair to them. As unfair as I feel it is to me, it is infinately more unfair to them.
      Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....


      • #93
        Saturday, December 3rd, 2011

        B - Didn't really have any, I don't think. Maybe munched a few cashews.
        L - After LHT, before MS - 2 hamburger patties w/ a bit of cheese between, a bowl of the soup I made a few days ago. Think I may have had a bit of salad, too.
        D - Made the Beef Burgundy that Mark has a recipe for. Don't remember if it was recently posted or referenced or what... Napped a bit after my ride so I didn't get it finished until late. Like close to 9:30, so I had nibbled far too much on cheese and nuts beforehand. Also had a good amount of salad afterwards. It too a long time, but it sure was tasty. Got some good lunches for next week, too. Also roasted some cauliflower and pan fried a sweet potato, too. Good stuff.

        Got up in the morning, did a few things around the house, then did an upper body and core only body weight LHT. 4 rounds of pull-ups, 30 count planks, 20 jack-knife push ups, 30 count side planks, and 30 elevated pushups. Progress seems to be coming very slowly with that and I'm not sure if it's that I don't push myself hard enough our what exactly... But I did feel pretty good doing it. First round got 10 pretty solid pull-ups, then I think I went 9, 8, 7 on other rounds. But I'd rest for a few seconds and finish up to 10.

        Afterwards I had lunch then went on a bike ride, a bit over 2.5 hours. Rode the North Riverfront Trail up and over the bridge and back. Kept it fairly light. Nice tailwind on the way up, but fighting the headwind the whole way back. I've had worse, though. On the way back I continued south past the Brewery then took Cherokee street through their Xmas festival thing. Good number of folks out. Not nearly as many as for Cinco de Mayo or the printmaking conference, but it was good to see folks out and about.

        After the bike ride I took a short nap and then got to cooking. That was a long recipe and filled my evenign. But I think it turned out pretty good. Too much work though. Gonna get a crock pot for Xmas I know, and will focus on recipes for that.
        Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....


        • #94
          So it's just after the first of the month and as I said I am going to post the progress picture here. Will post to before-after pics thread at the January picutre.

          So it's fairly obvious by the numbers that I've been at a bit of a stall the last couple of months. But I'm trying to get back into it. But I definitely have slipped well beyond 80/20. I need to get both carbs and total calories into control. Oh, and you can see I obviously haven't shaved off my 'stache even though it is the end of Movember... On the list for this evening.

          I have been doing at least fairly well with my lifting routine, despite taking some time off being sick. More than 2x per week, I know. I don't know if there has been any real progress but I did take a couple of vanity pictures after my upper body LHT bodyweight work yesterday. Dramatic lighting, nice and pumped up, etc. Here's the vanity shot:

          Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....


          • #95
            Sunday, December 4
            B - After my run. Big bowl of salad w/ 2 fried eggs, sunny side up. So basically the yolk became the dressing. Yummy.
            L - After daugher's first confession. Went w/ her, ETB and the boy to St. Louis Bread Co. Panera to those of you outside the St. Louis area. Yep, started here. Got the grilled chicken cobb salad w/ bacon. Kinda my fall-to there. Not bad. Had an apple as my side, but did nibble a bit on the chocolate chip cookie the boy barely touched.
            D - Made sausage stuffed acorn squash. Yummy!! And got 3 more halves for lunches next week. Betweeen that and the left over beef burgundy I'm set. Also made a couple of omlets w/ the left over stuffing for breakfasts next week. I'm all good now. Did have a few cashews during the day, a salad w/ dinner, and a glass of egg nog w/ brandy afterwards. But only the one. Didn't over do it this time.

            Got up in the morning and went for a run. VFF on pavement. Much colder than yesterday. Wouldn't say I felt comfortable, but not as bad as I was thinking it might be. Still felt some strain in my lower calves, like achillies attachment points. First time I ran since last weekend at the earliest, so maybe I'm not running often enough. Ended up doing probaby about 45 minutes.

            So daughter had her first confession today, and I went to that while ETB took the boy so he wouldn't disrupt things. She said I should go to confession myself, and I told her I couldn't since I wasn't catholic. Is that true? I know I can't take mass there, but do they exclude me from confession too? Having grown up prodestant, I wouldn't know what to do. Being an atheist might cause a problem, too....

            Haven't done much beoynd the cooking this evening. My therapist said that I need to celebrate my accomplishments more so I picked up a frame at Target and gonna see if I can frame a state championship jersey to hang up. If it works I'll probably do the same for the jersey from the race in france, too.
            Last edited by VeloCity.X; 12-05-2011, 09:41 PM.
            Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



            • #96
              Monday, December 5

              B - about 10 or so had the last 1 3/4 cups of the soup I made. Guess it's time to make some more.
              L - Not until about 2 or so. One of the pack I made of the left over beef burgundy w/ roasted cauliflower. Yum. And a big thing of mixed green salad .
              D - Left over sausage stuffed acorn squash. Also yummy.
              S - Had two pints Guinness and now nibbling on some pork rinds.

              Had to sub a spinning class today. Felt like I was definitely moving into chronic cardio range, so backed off a bit. Afterwards I did 3 sets of pullups. Think it was like 10, 7, 4.

              Since I wasn't able to do my usual circuit training I did a similar class after work. Lots of oblique and back work. And different kettlebell squat exercises. Was pretty good.

              So this evening I met ETB at a bar to talk. Ironic that she started this whole thing (even though I'm now realizing how unhappy I was) yet now she's the one with struggling at moving forward. I freely admit I was struggling, still am, especially with everything else that has gone on, but now I feel like I'm coming to terms with things. I know what it takes. And she is having a hard time with it. I need to get out. I need to move on. And half way just doesn't cut it.
              Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



              • #97
                Tuesday, November 6

                Stuck on site all day, so no B or L. Went to Manager's reception at hotel w/ one of the contractors and did have some of the chips and dip with a beer, 'cause otherwise would have been an issue on an empty stomach. And that led to greasy chinese food for dinner before meeting a friend for a beer later on in the evening. I think she'd really like to date me, but I'm not so sure I'm ready, and I'm not sure if I'm just not interested or really not ready.

                Did teach a spinning class on Tuesday. Been doing a lot of spinning lately. Done w/ doning 3 classes a week for a while....

                Wednesday, December 7
                Building was doing the holiday breakfast today, so I did have a bit of that. Scrambled egg omlet thing w/ a bit of cheese, a sausage patty, little bit of potatoes, and some mixed fruit. Skipped the OJ, baked thing, and oat meal. So overall fairly primal.

                L - when it rains it pours. Had more chinese food. Like an addiction. Had to feed that monkey one more time. Think I'm done now.

                D - Left over beef burgundy and then made kale chips. Had a big thing of kale that had been sitting for a while. Was supposed to be for my soup, but forgot. Will do it next time.

                Today I needed to meet the inspector at the house, so I didn't get to go to the Y. And I had my appointment afterwards, so no chance for that. This evening I did a little work on my stake championship jersey frame, fixed a couple pairs of shoes w/ shoe goo, and did a bit of moustache trimming. Going to keep it for a bit and work on a handlebar.

                Ok, that is it for now. Going to bed.
                Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                • #98
                  Thursday, November 8

                  It's weird, it's like I can see at least a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, at least as far as my family/marriage goes, but with the project at full steam thru the end of the year, still dealing w/ fiancial issues, not knowing what will happen w/ my job after the project finishes, etc. my stress levels still seem sky high. I feel a bit better, but my body is still reacting as if I'm in high stress condition. Which I am, but I guess after talking w/ ETB I guess I feel better about it or something. But I'm still having a hard time making good food choices, and still having a hard time getting the motivation to exercise. Just trying to mutter through the holidays, I guess it's all I can do.

                  B - Nothing.
                  L - Was at the job site in the morning, but went back for lunch. No $ to go out. Had a sausage stuffed acorn squash and a small mixed green salad. Also had a cookie and a handfull of tortilla chips left over at the office. And think I had 3 Hershey's kisses on site.
                  D - Was starving. Had the last of the beef burgundy, and one of the omlets I made with the left over sausage stuffing for the squashes. Also had an egg nog with a good shot of brandy. Oh, and some left over tomato soup from dinner out w/ the kids on Sunday. Ok now, though.

                  Did not go to the Y today. Need to quit spending every day at the job site and I'll be more likely to go. Have to go tomorrow since I teach my class.

                  Therapist gave me a book on coping with divorce and I just started to read it. Gonna go do that after I'm done here. Written in the early 80's and it sure seems like it.

                  Went to the wake of the father of a friend of mine. Didn't get to talk to her too much though. She was a big help when my sister died. Gave me a pack of snap-n-pops. Need to give those back to her.
                  Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                  • #99
                    Sunday, December 18th.

                    Wow, it's been a long time since I've written anything here. 10 days, in fact. A lot has happened since that time. Lots of stress and difficulites, lots of falling off the PB wagon.

                    I guess it started on that Thursday night, after realizing I would need to take the reins w/ ETB if anything is to move forward. That put me in not that good of a mood. Plus my project is in the big push to the end so I'm both busy and stressed with that. Not to mention that I don't know what I'll be working on next. And since we let go of 2 people already this month, I've got a little nagging worry about my job security. And of course since ETB isn't really living in reality, and I wasn't in any condition to face reality this summer, the true financial situation of having 2 households just really came to roost this month. And on top of all of that, I woke up Friday morning with what I thought was the return of the infection that landed me in the hospital last spring. So over this last 10 days I've been much more lax about the diet, lax about exercise, depressed but seeming to bounce back a bit better than I was this summer, and on a few antibiotics. Not exactly the best way to spend the week.

                    But I think I'm feeling a bit better now and getting back into the swing of things.

                    Interestingly enough, during that time I did cook up some good primal meals. Acorn squash with sausage stuffing, plenty of bacon and eggs, Mark's Beef Burgundy (only w/ Chianti instead), plenty of kale chips, some good chicken soups w/ my home made stock, and today I made PB Cookbook's Italian pot roast in the slow cooker. Also made mashed parsnips and cauliflower, and mustard greens. The pot roast turned out amazing, especially the sauce after I reduced it. I did include 3 sections of ox tail, per the recipe. Don't know if that made all the difference, but it sure was yummy. Had sauce left over after packing up lunches for the week, and ended up having it like a soup. Will make that one again.

                    Now that money things are straightened and things are looking ok through the end of the year, I actually did do some grocery shopping and not just scraping enough to get by. I've got a slow cooker now. Don't know if I mentioned that. My parents got it for me. Anyway, I got a couple of roasting chickens and am looking forward to doing those in the slow cooker. Need to look up recipes for that.

                    So over the last 10 days like I said I haven't done much exercise. I cancelled my Friday spinning class to go to doc, and then just really didn't feel like doing much in my state. Did teach my class on Tuesday, did a bit of HIIT, but no LHT all week. Yesterday (Saturday) I ended up taking a long walk - probably 4 to 5 miles total. My DD left her security stuffed animal here so I walked it over to ETB's house.

                    I've started to do a little bit more here at my house, but need to do much much more. Need to get stuff organized, papers dealt with, etc. Told ETB that we need to get together and talk again, and then we need to sit down with the kids and tell them what is going on. I've talked to them some, but not enough. And she hasn't talked to them at all. I know they are confused, 'cause my son started asking questions on Thursday. Of couse it was 1/2 block from school and 3 minutes before the bell, so I didn't have a chance to talk to him. But it really needs to be done. As much as is going on that isn't fair to me, it's much worse for them.

                    Ok, I think I've whined, bitched, and moaned enough here. Time for bed. Time for back on the wagon, too.
                    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                    • Wednesday, December 28. Don't know why I wrote November on those last 2 posts...

                      Wow. Another 10 days since my last update. Well, more than anything, things have continued on the same path. Still not eating that great nor exercising that much. Holidays are one thing, of course, but also I've been going nuts on my project. The entire thing must be complete by the end of the year for tax credit reasons, which means the entire thing must have punch lists, cost values for incomplete work, substatial completion certificates, etc. before the end of the year. So I've been spending every day on site trying to get everything punched out. On the one hand I'm being a nice guy 'cause that's really the contractor's responsibility. I am just supposed to review and add to the punch list. But on the other hand I'm trying to cover myself 'cause otherwise the contractor would simply give me the punch list on Friday and say 'here it is' and leave me holding the bag to get everything put together. As it is I'm sure we will be finishing up paperwork on Friday. 205 apartments is a lot when each takes about an hour to punch.

                      Main meals haven't been bad. I've been able to basically stay away from grains and such. Snacking hasn't been as good, especially with so many holiday treats. And I haven't been exercising enough to justify the amount of eating in general. And I've realized that egg nog is like crack to me. Something about it just hits the right buttons and is irresistable. Just need to resist buying it until after the first of the year when it goes back into hiding until next fall. I've been on a plateau since early this fall and I think I may have gained a couple this month.

                      Exercise has been very poor. At most I've been doing one spinning class per week. Don't know when I last did one of the other classes. And the last 2 weeks of the year the Y has no classes. I have gotten out to ride a couple of times. I did a couple hours alone actually the last time I posted, on the 18th, and I got out the next weekend on Christmas eve. Both times were with a friend and probably far too slow. Would be fine if I was getting some intensity or LHT, but too little beyond that.

                      I did have a friend in town last week and he's a print maker. He took some photos of me with my moustache all waxed. He had been looking for some bare knuckles boxing and victorian strong man photos, so I spent the morning doing pushups and pullups to try to get as pumped as possible. I think I may post one or two of those when I do my quarterly update on the 'before and after pictures' thread.

                      So mentally it has been a pretty tough time right now. First Christmas without my sister, really starting to realize the diminished capacity of my other sister since her stroke... All of us having to lean too hard on my mom... And the marriage stuff definitely hasn't improved over the last 10 days. We haven't gotten together to talk, kids are still obviously confused. My last couple of bike rides have been with a female friend - mother of my daughter's best friend - and good friend to both ETB and me. As I was getting ready on xmas eve, DS asked if this was a date and if I was in love with someone else while I am still married. Obvioulsy he's getting that from ETB and T Durango And she has not said one word to them about him being there. And it's not my place to say anything. What would I say? Maybe a week or so before during dinner DD said that she knew I didn't like for them to talk about T 'cause it makes me sad. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?? And ETB is just living in this fantasy world where things can continue like this indefinitely. And I think she's happier knowing that T very well might be gone on any given day when she gets home.

                      But he's supposed to be entering a residential program, I think even today, that will take him out for a while, 9 weeks at most, and who knows if he'll come back after that. Of course, who knows if he'll stay in the program either. But I'm feeling.... actually some fear... that she's going to realize during that time that this has all been a big mistake on her part and things can just go back to 'normal.' But I feel like I've been gaining some insight, having some personal growth. I don't think I can go back. Nervous about needing to change from the dumpee to the dumper. Also, I think I've just had some sort of insight about really neither of us wanting to keep our marriage going, but both of us having problems letting go. Seems contradictory, but that really seems like what is happening.

                      So on the first I'll put up my quarterly before and after pic, even though there has been little change, and maybe some backsliding. But I think I'm going to throw a question out there. I grew a beard for a month or so in October, then switched to a moustache for Movember. Kept the 'stache through December, and now am at the point I can wax it. My therapist actually likes it and thinks that it is expressing my individuality. While it has been kind of fun, I think I did it as a mask of sorts. Or more accurately, as I felt (and often still feel) like I really wasn't ready or able to date or be in any sort of relationship, I think I grew it as a way of 'taking myself off the market'. I don't see it as a means of increasing my dating potential, and I feel like I grew it as a way of making myself less attractive. And kind of my plan had been to shave it off at the new year. New year, new start, new life. Trying to get myself kind of 'out there' and going again. Even though technically, legally, nothing has changed. Another reason why I keep trying to talk to ETB, to make things more definite. Still, I'm feeling more prepared and ready than I have over the last 6 months. But back to the topic, others seem to like the 'stache. So I'm going to throw it out to the Daily Apple Forum community and see what they think. Should it stay or should it go?

                      Ok, I've been droning on for long enough. One last thing before bed, and completely changing the subject. Much of this month I haven't been eating that clean, and I've also been having a lot more reflux. I wonder if that is a result of my eating or more recovery from the anti-biotics I was on when I thought the MRSA had come back? I'm sure it is some of both. Should probably have some more yogurt and get some pro-biotics.

                      Ok, that's it for tonight. Hope to get a bit more regular with this.
                      Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                      • Thursday, December 29th.

                        Actually keeping up with a journal entry. Imagine that. Even though I have little to share. Had a half day off with the kids in the morning but pretty much just had time to get up, get ready, give the kids breakfast then hit the bank before DD's playdate. With a boy. But she was quick to emphasize that it was just a play date, not a real date. She's only 8 and way to young to be dating boys, she says. Ha!

                        So got her dropped off, ran around w/ the boy a bit, then my mom came to pick him up, and I got to go to work at 11:45 and stay until 7:30. What a way to spend my vacation, huh? And I'm doing the contractor's job for them because I know otherwise they won't get it done and I'll still be the one left holding the bag. And due to needing to come in so much at the end of the year, I'm going to have more hours of vacation left than I am able to carry over and am going to lose 8 to 12 hours. Ugh.

                        So with all of that, probalby not a surprise that the diet was not great today. Forget not great, it was not good. Not existant. So I'm just going with it until the end of the year then essentially starting over. Had a soft pretzel, a hot dog, and Pad Thai for dinner. Yep, about as bad as I could go. But going with it for right now. Oh, and a coke. Not sure when I had one of those last.

                        One good thing was running across a playground just a couple of blocks from my house. Had been there once before, years ago, but had totally forgotten about it. It's mid-block on a lot where a house had stood, so easy to miss. But it has some cool jungle gym stuff, including a short run of monkey bars, but a longer run of more parallel bars. Imagine hanging and sliding your hands along bars if that makes sense. Really looking forward to doing some good primal-style workouts there. Will have to get the cross-fit group to go there some time when the evening exercises in the park start back up again.

                        Ok, to bed. Got at least a half day of work ahead of me.

                        Last thing. So ETB asked if I wanted to come over there for New Year's Eve, since some friends are in from out of town. Can't see doing it. Can't see it will help my mood. Am I being too negative? Hmmm....
                        Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                        • Happy new year!!

                          Ok, a resolution of mine is to kick some of the bad habits that have been creeping in over the last month or so. First one is to get back to journaling regularly. I think it's actually doing quite a bit of good. Not only with the primal accountability, but I think it's been helping me work through all the other issues. Also trying to work my way back solidly into the primal state of being, at least from the eating standfront. Way too many cheats, way too many sweets, late night snacking, etc. I'm going to take it a bit slowly (as will be evident in a bit) but heading back there. Also trying to get back into the habit of consistantly working out. Missed far too many due to the project and now feel weak. Feel like it is easier to just say screw it and skip. Need to get the drive back.

                          Now one thing that has led to the skipping is that I've been working, quite dilligently actually, on getting my house in shape. I've put down carpet tile in the basement living area, got that cleaned up, got some storage shelving in the rest of the basement and got more of that area cleaned up as well. Getting rid of a bunch of old clothes that don't fit or are way out of style. Got rid of a bunch of flannel shirts. Packed the way too big pants away. Don't want to sound defeatist, but can't quite get rid of them yet. Also framed a couple of my old jerseys and have them hung up in my room. Did my state championship, race in france, and alpe d'huez jerseys. Included my medals with state champ and france. My therapist said that I do a poor job of celebrating my successes, so I'm trying to do better. It's just that celebrating such minor accomplishments seems both arrogant and making a big deal over nothing. The heights I've achieved have been pretty low overall.

                          So yesterday was my last day off. Spent the day working on the house again. Lets see.... had a couple of scrambled eggs with ham over mixed greens for breakfast. Think I had a small BAS with greens and turkey for lunch. Was doing a chicken in the crock pot when I found out that friends were meeting for dinner at a bar a friend owns. So I had just a leg from the chicken and then went to meet them. Had 3 Bulleit bourbon on the rocks. Should have stopped with 2. Had the brisket tacos (did eat the torillas) and the side of brussell sprouts. Not the best, but not terrible. But when I got home I had some cereal I keep around for the kids. Craving the sweet. That's why I should have stopped with 2....

                          Today was my first day back at work. Running late, skipped breakfast. Not sure the leangains thing is really working for me. Think I may need to start having breakfast regularly again.... Had a small salad and some of the soup I made over the weekend for lunch. May be my best soup yet. Running out of bone broth, though. Need to make up another batch. Was starving later in the afternoon so I did go and get some sunflower seeds from the shop in the next building. The package said the bag had 2 servings of less than 200 calories each and I know I ate less than half the bag. Did a good job of tiding me over though. Soup and salad was a bit small w/o breakfast though. Went out to my parents for dinner and had leftovers there. Steak, turkey, some roasted and mashed white potatoes. Didn't have a lot of choices for veggies. Did have a bit of left over stuffing. That's what I meant about going slowly. Oh well, could have been much worse.

                          I've got a roast thawing in the fridge and a spaghetti squash waiting to get cooked up, so I'll have better meals soon.

                          Taught my spinning class for the first time in a couple of weeks today. Got in a few sprints, some good HIIT, but I could sure tell it had been a while.

                          On Wednesdays I had been taking a TRX suspension class at the Y, but it's now a pay class, so I guess I'll be back on 5 essential movements/body weight work. Will be interesting to see how much that had deteriated over the last month plus.

                          Bed time now. Would keep writing and do some complaining, but nah. That's enough for tonight.
                          Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                          • Ok, where are we.... Wednesday, January 4, 2012... Even though I'm posting early Thursday morning...

                            I guess I did do a post last night... Huh.

                            Ok, so obvioulsy sleeping is becoming a bit of an issue. Need to get to bed earlier.

                            Today I had a small thing of greek yogurt w/ honey for breakfast. It was one of the pre packaged things, and it listed sugar on the ingedients, not honey, so I'm thinking I probably just need to start getting plain yogurt and add my own honey. I do that when I make yogurt, so I don't see why this woudl be any different. Eating the yogurt 'cause I am still having some stomach issues, I think it's still recovery from the antibiotics. The summer after I was in the hospital and those huge rounds of antibiotics I had a terrible time recovering. Lots of digestive issues, and assorted... complications. So trying to get a few more pro-biotics to beef things up. So yogurt and berries for breakfast.

                            Lunch was a bit of the crock pot chicken that was left over. Ok, so this wass a slightly different recipe, but much better results. I really need to try it again 'cause this time it was a chicken from the farmer's market - so much better fed and raised. I have another conventional chicken in the freezer, so I'll have to try that recipe again and see how it turns out. I guess a couple of years ago the weekly alternative paper here did a test of making the same recipe with chickens from a standard supermarket, a cut rate supermarket, and either whole foods or the farmer's market. They said that they were prepared to be all smug and say that there was no real difference, all chickens were the same, etc. but that was not the case at all. The better quality chicken was apparently vastly superior. Wonder if that was the case w/ the crock pot chickens... must keep experimenting. So I had I guess a thigh, leg, and portion of breast with some carrots, onion and celery that cooked with it. And a somewhat small side salad.

                            I had also brought along some of my soup, but decided I wasn't hungry enough to eat it. Instead I snacked on some sunflower seeds in the afternoon. Again, low calorie high fat and protein snack, more to keep my hands and mouth occupied while I'm at my desk. But I think the salt may be an issue though. I started to get a headache later on, similar to dehydration headaches I'd get after long rides or races. Wonder if the salt was pulling all the water out of me. I may have been a bit dehydrated after going to the Y but not that bad.

                            One little triumph, sort of. In december I had been indulging more in the office treats. Today was the birthday of two gals in the office, and other gals brough in stuff. No donuts or cake for me. Did have one small chocolate chip cookie and a couple of shrimp flavored snack puff type things.

                            Dinner was a bit more of that chicken. I think the other thigh, breast tenderloin, and a wing. Still have some carcass to pick. Also had more of the roased veggies. Was still hungry so took some left over taco meat, threw in some cheese and melted all together and put on salad greens for an improptu taco salad. Yummy. No cheats during the rest of the night.

                            Tonight was my session (very good one I'd say) so I didn't get home until later. Evening consisted of geting my dinner together, getting the kitchen cleaned up, which was kind of a mess from the last couple of days, and then getting a bench put together for by the front door. It's a place to sit down and take off shoes. It has 3 baskets underneath, one each for the kids shoes and one for gloves and the like. While I was doing stuff I watched 'Downton Abbey' on Netflix. Awesome show. Up so late so I could finish an episode. Also laid out the are for some furniture that ETB found on Craig's list. She does want me to be happy and settled in. But I'm not getting into any of that stuff tonight.

                            Went to the Y over lunc, did my first body weight training in a while and went better than expected. Started with 15 minutes on the ellptical trainer. Didn't mean to do that long but got caught up in some show about celebrity divorces. Had to listen to them talk about Dita Von Tease and Marilyn Manson. I pretty much hate celebrities, but still got sucken in. After that 3 rounds of pullups (10nto 6) squats push ups, side planks, lunges, jack knife push ups, and planks. Each being 30 reps or 30 seconds. After the first round my hamstrings were killing me! When I started to do my second round of squats I was shocked. I guess I haven't been running over the last month, and when I've been riding it has been extremely slow and casual.

                            But overall I think it went as good or better than I could expect, so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

                            After 1 now so i'm going to bed.
                            Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                            • Goddamit. I lost everything again. Why does that keep happening? I hate this keyboard.

                              Ok, starting over.

                              B - handful of blue and blackberries, honey flavored non fat greek yogurt and a banana
                              L - small tossed salad and some of my chicken vegetable soup.
                              S - a few sunflower seeds. not many. no where near a 'serving'.
                              D - was supposed to put a pot roast in the crock pot but forgot to set the diswasher last night, so the pot was still dirty. So instead I put a spaghetti squash in the oven then went to run some errands. When I got back I browned some hamburger, threw in a jar of (conventional) spaghetti sauce, and had bolognese primal style. I must say that I am pretty darn satisfied with spaghetti squash as a substitute for pasta, which was always one of my favorites. Will need to see how it does with say a clam sauce, but with red sauce it seems to do fine. Was starving and ate a ton of it, picked on a chicken carcass, and had a few slices of braunschweiger. Probably should have thrown in a salad. Oh well. At least other than perhaps some sugar in the spaghetti sauce, I'd say it was a pretty successful primal meal.

                              Taught my spinning class today. Got in some HIIT. Felt tired from not sleeping enough and my legs, hamstrings especially, are sore from LHT yesterday. Strange 'cause it hasn't been *that* long since I'd done squats I thought.

                              Just finished watching 'Downton Abbey' on Netflix. It is awesome. I'm a bit of a sucker for the english period pieces - especially those that show upstairs/downstairs intrigue, like Gosford Park. And this is a good one.
                              Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....



                              • Since I lost everything before I decided to continue with another post in lieu of keeping typing. 'cause I was about here when all disappeard last time.

                                So one thing I wanted to add just so I would remember it. Ran into a friend today who is also going through a divorce. And she was talking about how they too are also getting along really well and she was wondering why it couldn't be like that when they lived together. Her therapist said that they have a good partnership, which is important in a marriage, but they are lacking the emotional connection, which is vital. Struck a chord. I think that's where my marriage ended up. My parents certainly seems like that. But my ETB was the one who recognized that and realized it wasn't what she wanted. And in my own therapy I'm realizing it isn't what I want either.

                                Oh, and she was also talking about a friend going through a divorce who just despises her ex. My friend said it would probably be easier that way. I've had that exact same thought. A guy in my office is having a nasty divorce and I've thought that many times. But I suppose in the end, especially with the kids, it's a lot better that we get along. Still makes me sad, though.
                                Last edited by VeloCity.X; 01-07-2012, 07:57 AM.
                                Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....