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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • Aww, Panda - This makes me want to buy a feeling chart so I can circle frowny-faces on it.

    Yet eating this way and having to be so conscious of what I’m putting in my body is just a slog sometimes.
    I know how this feels. I've been having a lot of non-Primal cravings this weekend as a result of my blood work results. The old fairy of "Oh, what's the point?" has been whispering in my ear.

    Hang in there, Friend. We're here for you!
    There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

    My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

    The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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    • Ducklings, Gay Panda must make a confession.

      I am a very honest panda, eight years of strict religious school having left an indelible mark. Guilt aside, lying seems to be a lot of work to me, more than it is worth, and I don’t understand what people mean when they say that getting away with a lie gives them a thrill. But people get thrills from all sorts of odd things up to and including sneezing fetishes, and that is a mystery I will never solve. So before we can go on, I must clear the air and admit that Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS contains one utterly massive lie, and it is time for this injustice I have perpetrated upon you to be rectified.

      Gay Panda’s name is not actually Gay Panda.

      I know that you are shocked, and I am very, very sorry. But alas, it is true. Go through my wallet and you will see that neither my driver’s license nor ATM card states Gay Panda. When I scrawl my digital signature on the Account Thievery Card Reader at Whole Foods, it is not Gay Panda that I am writing. My name is also not Colonel Farts, but I am afraid that is what I claimed it to be at the store on Saturday since no one can tell what has been written on the Account Thievery Card Reader anyway.

      My book has been released both on Smashwords and Amazon Kindle, and will eventually be accessible through more places than that, but those of you curious about what kind of science fiction I write will not locate the book by searching for Gay Panda. Searching Gay Panda in Amazon brings up a variety of interesting things: somewhat naughty novels, hippie T-shirts, a book on the political empowerment of women, foam 19 inch 4 LED party tubes, a shirt that questions if the observer likes fish sticks, and a paperback on Dracula. Searching Gay Panda on Smashwords turns up nothing at all.

      So if you are in the mood for a science fiction story about what happens to six foster children of an Earth colony in an attack that separates the souls of millions of people from their bodies and reorganizes them at random, you will have to type in The Dammerung by Macaulay C. Hunter. Or you can just go to The Dammerung and read it there, a chapter posted every week starting on Valentine’s Day.

      The Dammerung is not a shoot-‘em-up, hero saves the day space opera, so if that is what you like, then definitely do not acquire it because you will circle sad faces on your feelings charts. I was interested in exploring how a society would deal with everyone being transferred to a new body, and that transfer being permanent. That wasn’t how it worked in the cartoons and television shows and movies I watched growing up. There were rules. Two people switching bodies were almost always of the same sex. They were switched not to strangers, but people they already knew. They were also switched within the same general location. Everyone always went back in the end, and Freaky Friday rolled over into Standard Saturday. I changed those rules for The Dammerung. It cannot be undone. Whether you are transferred to the opposite sex, lose or gain decades, go from healthy to sick or the other way around, you’re stuck with it.

      Even if this is not your cup of tea, you can always visit the website and skip reading the chapter to leave a comment about your favorite sci-fi books and authors, because people are always on the lookout for a good new book, Gay Panda included. Or read the chapter anyway and holler if you find a spelling mistake, because Gay Panda detests spelling mistakes. There is one in this journal about seventy pages back. I don’t want to take the time to find it, and yet it bothers me to know that it is there. If there is a formatting weirdness, let me know and I will tell Lady Friend, because she has the magical computer powers to fix them.

      And please forgive me for fooling you about my name.
      Last edited by Gay Panda; 01-29-2012, 10:05 PM.
      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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      • You have no need to ask for forgiveness. We are all hiding parts of ourselves here. I don't imagine there are any drivers licenses out there with the names found in these forums. Certainly none of my papers or cards identify me as Cave Woman.

        What you do need from us is our heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS!!!. I am both thrilled for you on your e-publication and thrilled that I get to read your story! You are a hero and friend to so many of us here. I look forward to reading your story and the continuing saga of Gay Panda. You will always be Gay Panda to us.
        I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. ― Mark Twain

        Writing on the Cave Wall - my Primal Journal

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        • Good luck finding official paperwork for me under Naiad Knight. If I ever publish, I suppose I'll release my name to the web world.
          Congrats, dude, you hit a goal I've been aiming for for quite a while.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
          My Latest Journal

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          • Well, I guess I'm not getting much sleep tonight :P

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            • Dear Sweet Gay Panda...no apologies needed! You are special to us all & will always be Gay Panda to us. Mega congratulations on your e-book!! Can't wait to start reading it!

              My heart hurts for you about missing Primal Coach Kitty. I so understand & will tell you that you will always miss her...but the hurt gets a little easier as time goes on. I still miss my Maggie, following me from room to room, laying beside my chair or at the end of the bed. Well meaning folks say I should get another dog but I am so not ready. I guess I will know when I will be. If ever.

              take care & be easy on yourself!
              Goal: Don't worry be happy!

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              • Already downloaded it and started reading! Don't spend my $4.99 (or whatever chunk of that you get) in one place.

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                • Damn! Fooled us all! I suppose it's now time to confess that you will find no mention of "Sigi" on my driver's licence or credit cards either. Nor do I particularly look like the above kitteh (but how awesome would that be...).

                  Well, you'll always be Gay Panda to me (hmm, I can see that confusing the punters at future SF conventions - where you will no doubt soon be receiving top billing). Congratulations on the release, dear and talented Panda. I wish you every success with it, and look forward to reading it shortly. W00t!!

                  BTW, I do like the cover art.
                  I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                  Oscar Wilde

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                  • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                    But Gay Panda is accustomed to cooking with the kitty peeking around the doorway to watch, and to not have her inquisitive little face there any longer is disconcerting. Primal Coach Kitty was ever hopeful that I might be preparing bacon, and offered up herself most politely as a taste tester.

                    Since the kitty took her leave to The Great Bacon Maker in the sky, it was often too sad to stand at the stove with that empty spot by the kitchen doorway. I resorted to cheese and the half-bag of chocolate chips that have been living in my pantry for longer than I will admit. Then I did not have to stand at the stove and catch myself looking over to the doorway to converse with the kitty.
                    Oh, Panda. I am sad with you. [[[[[hugs]]]]]

                    Hang in there, and be gentle and forgiving of yourself if you do perchance end up face-down in a bowl of potatoes on occasion. It will get better.
                    I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                    Oscar Wilde

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                    • Cave Woman, what a nice first comment to have on my site! Thank you. I am looking forward to my joint Potato Binge Day/Valentine's Day release of the first portion of the book.
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                      • Oooooh congratulations Panda!
                        I regret to admit that Pixie Kitten is nothing more than a nickname and a tattoo on my ankle. People tend to laugh at my real name, as my surname is that of a hobbit, I'm short, and have curly hair. Le sigh.
                        Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

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                        • gay panda i am shocked an appalled that your real name is not gay panda. MY name really is bloodorchid and i feel as tho you are a dastardly fiend for lying to me

                          i'm all ready to start readin

                          and

                          i like your name
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

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                          • Well I am a hockey fan - my name is not hockeyfan either. I just spent my $4.99 and will be reading tonight. Can't wait to start the story!

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                            • I'm so very excited to have your eBook on my kindle app!

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                              • Originally posted by Sigi View Post
                                BTW, I do like the cover art.
                                But would you have liked it better with Beavis and Butthead?
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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