Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • tsk tsk tsk...

    that saddens me

    but at least i could in good conscience hoard the whole bowl to myself
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • I HAVE NO INPUT BUT I WANTED TO BE INVOLVED IN THE SHOUTING.

      Ok, I'm finished. Continue. *takes back seat*
      Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

      Comment


      • UPDATE:

        Tuesday: 189.6
        Wednesday: 187.8
        Thursday: 187.2
        Friday: 185.8
        Saturday: 184.4

        I have now returned to my lowest point. Wow, that was quick. Go High Fat!
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

        Comment


        • PART ONE: Being cool became important in second grade. In order to qualify, one had to meet strict criteria. A cool kid ran very fast, always had money for Pizza Day, and owned the best toys. A cool kid did not fall off the jungle gym, and if that happened, the cool kid did not cry. A cool kid said funny or snarky things, and if another said something that was not funny or snarky, the cool kid perfected a lip-lifting scoff and cold shoulder.

          Once through the cootie stage, the cool kid became interested in the opposite sex. Not too much, that was uncool, but just enough. The cool kid had tastes in music, and money with which to indulge. The cool kid saw movies rated PG-13 or even R. R! The parents of the cool kid were often cool themselves, athletic and friendly, drove on field trips and brought the best snacks. The coolness of the parents increased the coolness quotient of the kid, and vice versa.

          I was not the slowest runner in my class, but I was nowhere near the front. I did have money for Pizza Day, and some cool toys, but not enough to qualify for cool kid status. I knew better than to cry, but that plus was wiped out by the minus of liking to read more than was cool. As to saying funny or snarky things, I blasted all hopes of coolness by being the kid who spoke in non sequitur. It wasn’t intentional; the conversation had bored me and I’d floated away in my mind to a more interesting topic. Then I finished it off at recess by eating grass and running across the field and into the fence since I was determined to transform into a Pegasus and escape. My parents weren’t cool either, and a friend explained, “I’m not sure we can hang out. My parents like YOU, Young Gay Panda, but they think your parents are WEIRD.” Death knell. No, Young Gay Panda was not cool.

          I never developed any interest in the opposite sex, despite Mother Panda’s reassurances that I was just a late bloomer. Mother Panda was a former cool kid and she knew what was important; it was highly frustrating to her when she asked what brands of shoes the other kids were wearing and I looked at her in total blankness. Their shoes? Why would I look at their shoes? Shoes were shoes. She asked about the brands of their clothes and got the same blank stare. Was I supposed to check their tags? I didn’t enjoy popular music and felt no need to acquire it, and I thought most of the popular television shows were dumb. I made an exception for Baywatch, because I had a crush on one of the lifeguards.

          Then I went to college, not wanting to be the weird one, and just blend* in. I had stopped eating grass and galloping into fences, and learned to keep my mouth shut to stop the flow of non sequitur. To blend, I just had to take bits and pieces of what everyone cool was doing in order to look individual and not like a creepy copycat. Some of the cool people liked the show ER, so I pretended that I liked it. Other cool people had specific music tastes, so I acquired a selection of their most-tolerable albums. They obsessed about the opposite sex and I smiled uncomfortably and said nothing.

          So now you understand why I began smoking. I was sitting outside a coffee shop with the cool people in my dorm, and they were all doing it. Obviously, this was one of those criteria on which I would be judged, so I took one when offered and inhaled. My nostrils flared and my eyes watered (crying is not cool; coughing is not cool; yelling GROSS is not cool) but I puffed and hid the choke and puffed again and passed it on. Success! I had blended.
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

          Comment


          • PART TWO: All told, I took part in six cigarettes by junior year. I never bought a pack; I never bummed one off a friend; I only smoked when it was offered. If I were to add up all the puffs of those six instances of cigarettes, I doubt that I smoked a single one in full. The instances were spread out widely over three years, and yet one day, as I left my horrid Greek Mythology class stressed about finals and papers and tuition and an ill Panda Parent, I suddenly thought I want to smoke.

            I never took a puff again. I didn’t want to be one of the students so addicted that they would leave campus at two in the morning for the 24-hour mini-mart in the next town. Their days were spaced by smoke breaks, their clothes smelled, and under their dorm room windows, the ground was littered with butts. I didn’t want to be that person in the back of someone’s car after a movie, begging the driver to pull over so I could buy a pack. I decided that I would rather be uncool, and that a mere handful of puffs spread out over three years led to fervent desire for more was repellent.

            I haven’t thought about this for ages, but the strength of these food cravings reminded me. This desire for a gigantic bowl of starch is as strong as that one for a cigarette. But I fought that one off, and I am doing my best to fight this one. I have taken part in Periodic Potato Instances all along, but this is the first time I had (fairly large) quantities of them three days in a row, with another instance two days before that. Clearly, this is much more than my body can handle without falling into chaos.

            I don’t want to go potato-free, because that isn’t realistic for me. I will be going out to eat on Sunday, and next week for Lady Friend’s birthday**. Both restaurants have lovely meat dishes that will come with a side of potatoes. But as I don’t want to give these cravings more power, I think the best compromise is that the only potatoes I’ll eat are those from restaurants. I don’t go out that much anyway. But they cannot be in my shopping cart; they cannot come in my house. Not only do they stop the loss, a few too many and my body leaps after them instead of meat as a fuel source.

            They’re potatoes. To crave them so deeply is as bizarre as craving cigarettes after the little that I had. But fortunately, there is no social pressure in my life concerning potatoes. And if there were, age has brought the benefit of no longer caring as much. I’m not cool. I never will be. And that’s okay. Being cool must be exhausting work. I don’t want to edit my journal entries to remove the weirdness just to create a pretense of cool before you. If I did that, this journal would be nearly blank and no one would ever visit it, including myself.

            One day I might lose my gut and saddlebags, my thighs will stop looking like Parthenon columns, and then I will go to Whole Foods and buy mashed potatoes. Armed with this knowledge, it will be the smallest container, and I will have to learn what amount I can handle without gaining weight or triggering the fiercest cravings that I have ever experienced. And since I am nowhere near that weight yet, I’m going to make sure I eat a big steak before I go shopping next. Maybe that will reduce the temptation of floating over to the hot bar and watching potatoes fall into my cart. Maybe I should shop with Lady Friend, and let her yell that the second the potatoes fall into the cart, I have to push it.

            Are potatoes worth imaginary swine flu? I think I just found my own aversion therapy.
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

            Comment


            • UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

              * How successful was I overall at blending in college, you ask? I failed dismally.

              ** How the hell have I kept this journal a secret for so long?! It’s almost Lady Friend’s birthday! Maybe she’ll make her own journal after she learns about mine. If you’re reading this, Lady Friend, start a journal! You can talk about going primal after 20 years of vegetarianism, or how primal cured your farting, or just bitch about how you have to push carts and open doors for Gay Panda all the time. Inquiring minds want to know!
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

              Comment


              • Wow, I can relate to this so well. I was never cool at school either, in fact I was regularly tormented and ended up pretty much a loner. You know those shows where there is a loner and they are dark and mysterious and tough and cool? I was the other kind.

                One outlet I did develop was theatre. On stage I could be whoever I wanted, and even dark and mysterious or tough or cool. One role I had required me to smoke on stage. Of course having never been cool I was never even offered a cigarette at high school, let alone subjected to peer pressure over it. I didn't smoke, and had no interest in it, but smoking for a role could be interesting.

                Since the role required being cool, I had no desire to hack, cough and wheeze on stage, going green around the gills. So I decided that I needed to rehearse. The plan was to buy a pack of cigarettes with my groceries and smoke 1 on non rehearsal days, and 1 during rehearsals. This seemed to work OK, I was doing great and totally in control.

                If my pack ran out it was no problem, I would simply wait until grocery day and then get another packet. Strangely I found that I would run out of other household essentials, such as maybe I suddenly needed to replace the dish brush, or get new oven liners or something, neccesitating a trip to the grocery store. According to the rules in my mind, this was grocery shopping, so smokes are allowed in the cart.

                One day, not long before opening night as the rehearsal schedule was ramping up, as I had a smoke on the way to rehearsal, to make sure I had the timing right for my puffs between lines and other such vital matters, I noticed that my pack was empty. This just simply could not be. I had only bought it 3 days ago. Where can they all have gone?

                I resolved right then to get another packet, and that packet was to last until we opened, then I would get another packet that would last for the season, then no more.

                I was surprised at how easy it was to get hooked on these things, and luckily I realised it early enough to be able to stop.

                Maybe what we need is a quit potato lobby group that is as high profile as the quit smoking lobby?


                Stamp out spuds!

                Good luck, and happy birthday Lady Friend.
                Live. Grow. Flourish.

                My Journal/story is at http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread38948.html

                Comment


                • Fabulous is one of my favorite words, so I had to click on this log. YOU ARE FABULOUS. Make no mistake.

                  I'm not sure how you're handling your social anxiety right now, but I struggle with it too. I used to have OCD tendencies and I could've easily developed OCD, but I've lowered my anxiety much since that time. I still have some social phobias.

                  This may sound stupid, but...sometimes I forget something really crucial. Everyone wants a friend. That's sometimes enough to brave making a new acquaintance.

                  We're the same weight now. Good luck to both of us eh?

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                    I think the best compromise is that the only potatoes Iíll eat are those from restaurants. I donít go out that much anyway. But they cannot be in my shopping cart; they cannot come in my house. Not only do they stop the loss, a few too many and my body leaps after them instead of meat as a fuel source.
                    I think you're on the right strategy there, Panda. For some people, no matter how well-Primal-intentioned, there are some foods that are just not safe to have around the house because they do. not. stop. beckoning until consumed.
                    I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                    Oscar Wilde

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by phreebie View Post
                      You know those shows where there is a loner and they are dark and mysterious and tough and cool? I was the other kind.
                      That cracked me up! You win the Gay Panda Funny Point for the day.

                      Glad you were also able to stop yourself before it became a problem! That was chilling about how you'd find extra reasons to go to the store. Funny how youth programs against smoking made no impact on me; my addicted family members made little impact; what made me stop was three years of observing the smokers in my own peer group. Their desperation when denied a smoke was ridiculous and more than a little alarming. They NEEDED it. And if they did not get it, they fell apart into these obsessed, whining children. NOT COOL.
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by kcarol View Post
                        Fabulous is one of my favorite words, so I had to click on this log. YOU ARE FABULOUS. Make no mistake.

                        I'm not sure how you're handling your social anxiety right now, but I struggle with it too. I used to have OCD tendencies and I could've easily developed OCD, but I've lowered my anxiety much since that time. I still have some social phobias.

                        We're the same weight now. Good luck to both of us eh?
                        I'm so happy you enjoy my journal! I enjoy writing it. (It's also a beautiful procrastination from when I really should be doing other things.)

                        I handle my social anxiety in The Healthy Way: by avoiding many social situations. I also space out my People Days with Non-People Days for recovery. Tomorrow is going to be a People Day, so Monday will be Population One: Gay Panda Day. This helps. I'm taking a vacation later this month that will be full of people, and when it's over, I'll need a vacation from the vacation all on my own.

                        YES! Good luck to both of us! I am so ready to move under 184.4. Go, bodies, go!
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Sigi View Post
                          For some people, no matter how well-Primal-intentioned, there are some foods that are just not safe to have around the house because they do. not. stop. beckoning until consumed.
                          How is it that I can control myself perfectly well with Cadbury Eggs, but not potatoes? I would have expected it to be the other way around.

                          Maybe we should do a poll on Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS: what is your top trouble food?
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                          Comment


                          • I had a similar encounter with smoking. All told, I probably smoked the equivalent of one pack over the course of 5-6 years. I even had my own packs, but never smoked them on my own. I bummed, I gave away, and I threw them out from time to time. I also got to the point of horror when I realized I was thinking "I need a cigarette". I think the last one I had was 4 years ago, and it was black with a gold filter. It was Russian. It had a lovely smell. But I always felt like a terrible person with that acrid smell clinging to me, and now my boyfriend would be quite unhappy with me if I ever picked up the habit again. Self-harm is a struggle for me.

                            My top trouble foods are sugar in most forms & beer. Having good beer in the house...there's some calling to me in the fridge right now! The worst part is I know I won't like the taste nearly as much as I used to. It's more the habit of consuming it from the bottle that I look forward to.
                            Depression Lies

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                              I handle my social anxiety in The Healthy Way: by avoiding many social situations. I also space out my People Days with Non-People Days for recovery. Tomorrow is going to be a People Day, so Monday will be Population One: Gay Panda Day. This helps. I'm taking a vacation later this month that will be full of people, and when it's over, I'll need a vacation from the vacation all on my own.
                              Oh yes, I am so on this wavelength. Long ago I realized that it's important to know your limits. Then you can stretch them if you want, but recognize when it's important not to go too far above and beyond.
                              "If man made it, don't eat it." ..Jack LaLanne
                              "It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are.
                              If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." ..Richard Feynman

                              beachrat's new primal journal

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                                Maybe we should do a poll on Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS: what is your top trouble food?
                                Non-Primal-friendly foods: Too many even to attempt to list. The concept of wheat and carb addiction is one to which I unreservedly subscribe. If there is a loaf of good bread in the house, I will eat every last slice. Quickly, while it's still fresh. Just keep the stuff away from me, please - that's the only way I can handle it. Ditto any custardy/cheesecakey stuff. Lethal.

                                Primal-friendly foods: Fruit. I love fruit, all sorts, but particularly that with a limited season, like summer stone fruits. As I type this, I am working my way through a bowl of cherries which will completely nix this week's weight loss and cause me more digestive distress than is socially desirable, but I just adore the damn things. And I shouldn't bring them into the house, but I do. And I regret it every time. And then I do it again.

                                I can have chocolate galore in the house for weeks on end without casting it a glance. I think there are about four blocks of good chocolate in the pantry right now, but I don't crave them at all. However, if you waggle a sugar banana in my direction ...
                                I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

                                Oscar Wilde

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X