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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • Dear Gay Panda,

    I have just come back from a family gathering (I hesitate to say vacation when introvert me is thrown into a small room with 13 people, even though I was away two weeks), and to such sad news. My heartfelt condolences.

    I am glad to hear that you managed to escape Grandpa Simpson eulogy. I find funerals in general to be a quite trying collection of people talking gravely for hours on end. I much prefer to tune out and have my own memories. They are after all usually much more meaningful to me.


    So the Giant Jammie Pants have gone. Are there before and after pictures? IMO old clothes pictures are some of the most effective ones. Congrats on the small and medium sizes.

    I am afraid socks to me have always been an annoying chore and therefore in a sad state. I have however recently found out why. The standard sock heel seems to be the wrong shape, and the sock will forever be slipping forward and need pulling up again. I have now found a sock shape that stays where it ought to. I do however have to knit them myself. I don't mind the time investment, but a sufficient stash of socks will take a while to build up.

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    • Originally posted by SleepyRoots View Post
      I have just come back from a family gathering (I hesitate to say vacation when introvert me is thrown into a small room with 13 people, even though I was away two weeks), and to such sad news. My heartfelt condolences.

      So the Giant Jammie Pants have gone. Are there before and after pictures?
      A small room with 13 people?! NIGHTMARE. How did you survive? I would have staked out a corner for my sanity.

      No, I didn't take pictures. I'm so horrified at how I look when I'm heavier that I refuse to create photographic evidence of it. I really wish I had taken measurements when I was 231, but I only have records from mid-May when I was about 205ish. Oh well. If I remember correctly, my pants at 231 were for a 38-40" waist, and the Giant Jammie Pants would have fit nicely then. But now I am 29", so that is why they were falling off. What a lovely problem to have!
      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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      • Hurrah Panda!

        Don't forget, what the scale says is comparatively unimportant – after all, your weight isn't branded on your forehead for all to see (thank Valhalla!). Muscle/fat/skeleton of adamantium … your body's specific makeup at any point in time can skew perceived weight loss (or fat loss) results. Far more important is the fact that you're rockin' some hot, new, non-Giant Jammie Pants on your slinky, new non-giant hips.

        Oooh, I can hear the sizzling from here …

        (BTW, in my fluffy little mind the default colour of lipstick was always a lurid, retro, coral kind of pink. Apparently I too was wrong.)
        I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

        Oscar Wilde

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        • It is time.

          The last month has naturally been stressful, and I just did my best to minimize the damage of what I ate. On the days I went to Grandmother Friend’s, I often packed my own primal snacks so as not to give in too regularly to let’s-just-call-in-a-pizza or Grandpa-Simpson-made-challah. Grief most often expresses itself in carbohydrates. It’s what people bring over; it’s what can be easily picked up at the store or delivered. I wasn’t worried about halting my weight loss but making myself feel worse than I already did by eating foods that cause headaches, Ping-Pong blood sugar, and a general feeling of malaise.

          I’m not beating myself up for the non-primal foods that I ate, since sometimes there just weren’t any other options. One night at Grandmother Friend’s house I attacked a bag of Ruffles, even though I’m not a potato chip person. But I refused the soda. I had wonton soup and a fortune cookie but declined the challah. I never had the ice cream offered repeatedly, but indulged in mashed potatoes. I knew that the sugar blast of soda and ice cream would cause the circling of major sad faces on my feelings charts, as well as total OCD meltdown, as evidenced in October by Binge Day. So I said no.

          Overall, I don’t feel that I did too badly. But I am a Very Sensitive Flower at the most minute of offenses, and once I get up the courage to step on the scale today, I will see just how badly I threw myself out of whack. They are just numbers. I did not return to 231 in one month. My clothes still fit fine. But I need to know that number because it hurts, and that keeps me on track. Not knowing the number gave me room the other day to buy a tub of mashed potatoes and a bag of dried mangoes.

          This may not sound egregious, but once I’ve justified those things, I will find a way to justify more. Knowing thyself is good, and it’s just how this panda operates. The slap in the face of that number every morning keeps me from playing games with myself. The reason I haven’t bought mashed potatoes and dried mangoes all along is because I knew that number. I would see them in the store but think no, you were 217 this morning. You were 208. You were 199. You were 193 or 188 or 184.4. You can’t have these things right now.

          Other people don’t need the number, or react to it with defiance and culinary abandon. But for me, that number on the scale is a beautiful behavioral control. I don’t like that number. I don’t want to stay that number. I want to continue on a downward trend. My belly is still doughy and there is extra padding on the backside, but somehow that number is what resolves me.

          When this all started with Grandmother Friend, I was 184.4. I don’t know how much I’ve gained back, but I’m off to check right now. 188 maybe. 192 possibly. 200 would be stretching it. So in a few minutes I will know, and then I can eat the last of the Potato Tub in my fridge for breakfast and go back to how I was eating before.

          Cross your fingers for me.
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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          • Fingers crossed. The numbers really can be a slap in the face. Forgive yourself for everything and feed yourself well!
            My True Primal Story

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            • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
              Other people don’t need the number, or react to it with defiance and culinary abandon. But for me, that number on the scale is a beautiful behavioral control. I don’t like that number. I don’t want to stay that number. I want to continue on a downward trend. My belly is still doughy and there is extra padding on the backside, but somehow that number is what resolves me.
              Oh, I am this exact same way. My ego and self worth are not tied to the number, but often my motivation is. My fingers are crossed for you Gay Panda.
              Last edited by BeckaSki; 11-29-2011, 01:57 PM.
              My Primal Journal

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              • gay panda, i think that forever from now on when i read your writings i'll picture you floating on the shell with the hair with the pjs, covering yourself with the hair (which is a very long wig), sporting a coquettish and knowing expression while toxic is coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once

                because that's already what my mind sees when i read this

                as for the water weight, i foresee it will be less than 10 and will be removed via your bladder in no time at all. it really is a pain seeing the scale go back up tho
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

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                • slap

                  189.6
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                  • Really, not bad considering what a Sensitive Flower you are! I think it will be gone by this weekend.

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                    • you aight, you aight
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

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                      • Originally posted by Sigi View Post
                        (BTW, in my fluffy little mind the default colour of lipstick was always a lurid, retro, coral kind of pink. Apparently I too was wrong.)
                        I remember back in junior high when girls were wearing orange, blue, plum, and black lipstick, so when I hear 'lipstick', I don't think of a specific color at first. It's like 'nail polish', totally meaningless in discerning what color without further description. But in the world of clothing, lipstick means red. And not just any old red, but RED red. And these jammie pants are definitely RED red.
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          gay panda, i think that forever from now on when i read your writings i'll picture you floating on the shell with the hair with the pjs, covering yourself with the hair (which is a very long wig), sporting a coquettish and knowing expression while toxic is coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once
                          ::: practicing coquettish expressions now :::

                          Ah, but perhaps the long hair is real. I might be a Gay Lady Panda. Perhaps I should do a reveal of that at 175 pounds of panda. And a picture at 166 of me in fabulous Renaissance wear.
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                          • Yes, 13 people. You know it's a wide definition of family gathering if you find yourself sitting next to your sister's boyfriend's daughter's boyfriend.

                            I am sure you will recover quickly. Like grimaces and crossed eyes your weight will not be frozen in time for any transgression. I am looking forward to the Renaissance photo! May all well meaning bearers of carbs stay far away from future Ren-Panda.

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                            • Even better, I will Photoshop myself in Renaissance wear onto the half-shell of Sandro Botticelli's The Birth of Venus.
                              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                              • "So every morning, Bare Gay Panda stands on the scale looking Rubenesque."

                                So, I know I'm like way behind on your journal, but I just wanted to point something out about this statement. (Which I almost IM'd to a customer- oops.) Have you seen Rubens' women? I'd send you a link, but, yeah, he was into nudes, and that at work thing. Sure, they had curves- but if you look closely, those were no dough-babies. Those women had muscle. I'm never going to be delicate- and while I've got some flesh to spare- that's not a comparison I'd be sorry to see. The real Rubenesque- not the muscle-less modern version that is. Consider it a complement
                                http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                                Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                                And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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