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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • Originally posted by SleepyRoots View Post
    Money can be found for so many things, yet some basics are constantly neglected.
    I don't believe I've ever been so frustrated in any job as I was in education. It was humiliating to write that note to parents begging for snacks and classroom supplies like tissues; these were people working two Burger King jobs and fighting to make rent, they were paying out of pocket for extra services for their disabled children. And I couldn't even guarantee their children's safety in my classroom because we were overwhelmed with students who had very, very serious problems (some of whom were inappropriately placed into this class because their parents had threatened to sue otherwise, or the principal just needed somewhere to put them). I finally split the class into three groups who were never in the same room at the same time to cut down on the fighting and bullying.

    But the district still saw fit to gift every teacher with a tote bag! (Note to District: Gay Panda did not want a tote bag. Gay Panda wanted the ten dollars that it was worth to buy crayons and snacks. Gay Panda never once used that ugly tote bag, and doesn't care if some portion of the money in the budget was allocated for teacher gifts. DIVERT IT TO MY NEEDY CLASSROOM.)
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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    • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
      I wish my body would just give me a print-out once a day of what it needs, rather than leaving me to guesswork.
      I shudder to think where that print-out may come out from . . .
      There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

      My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

      The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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      • I'm married to a Scorpio - does that count?

        It's terrible that we can spend so much money on everything but education. We as a country are failing our children big time.

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        • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
          But the district still saw fit to gift every teacher with a tote bag! (Note to District: Gay Panda did not want a tote bag. Gay Panda wanted the ten dollars that it was worth to buy crayons and snacks. Gay Panda never once used that ugly tote bag, and doesn't care if some portion of the money in the budget was allocated for teacher gifts. DIVERT IT TO MY NEEDY CLASSROOM.)
          my high school was always complaining about their low funding; however, they had the money to distribute pens that said "respect" on them to every student . sigh.

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          • Panda - I have several friends who are teachers, one in particular teaches the same type of class you had. I empathize with your pain.I'm glad you got out when you did.
            There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

            My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

            The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

            Comment


            • Dearest Gay Panda,
              I hope things are okay in your magical bamboo forest. I know you've been bracing yourself for some bad news, but I just wanted to say (and I'm sure the Panda Fans are with me) that we love you and your thought-provoking (sometimes barf-inducing) posts and look forward to hearing about your life soon!

              xoxo
              Otter
              Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
              Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
              "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

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              • Originally posted by ottercat View Post
                Dearest Gay Panda,
                I hope things are okay in your magical bamboo forest. I know you've been bracing yourself for some bad news, but I just wanted to say (and I'm sure the Panda Fans are with me) that we love you and your thought-provoking (sometimes barf-inducing) posts and look forward to hearing about your life soon!
                Indeed! Panda, I hope everything's ok. We all miss you! xxxxxx
                Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

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                • Dear Grandpa Simpson,

                  Please do not announce at Grandmother Friend's deathbed that you are bored. This makes Gay Panda want to kick you in the nuts.

                  Sincerely,
                  Gay Panda
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                  • Dear Grandpa Simpson,

                    Also, please do not go through Grandmother Friend's belongings. She is not quite dead yet, and they still belong to her.

                    Sincerely,
                    Gay Panda
                    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                    • Dear Grandpa Simpson,

                      In addition, please do not dump out the trash can hunting for valuables and things that can be donated.

                      Sincerely,
                      Gay Panda
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                      • The Giant Jammie Pants, which bring together my sexy nightwear ensemble to a whole, have been retired.

                        But no! No, you cry! How else are you to picture me but on my half-shell blown to shore by sweet angelic breath, the notes of Toxic riding the sea breeze as I coyly pose in my turtle shirt, Neapolitan bed socks, and those striped Giant Jammie Pants clinging perilously to my hips? To what fantasy now will you cling? Of Megan Fox in leather, curled over the seat of a motorcycle? Pshaw. Of Legolas snapping arrows to bow, his blond tresses trailing over his back? Never. There is nothing in this world more magnificent than Gay Panda in the total fashion clash of my jammies*.

                        Yet nothing can be done about it. Today I stood at my stove making bacon and my Giant Jammie Pants fell off into a puddle about my ankles. I squawked in surprise and realized that I could not retrieve them, because I had just set to sizzle a piece of raw bacon in the skillet. My hands were covered in the greasy slick of raw bacon, bacon from a pig and pig means swine and flu season is right around the corner. So I shuffled over to the sink to decontaminate before I rescued my dignity.

                        Pinning them under my elbow, it occurred to me that it might be time for new pajama pants. Then I thoughtlessly reached for the spatula and they plummeted again. This happened though there has been no change on the scale in quite a while, but I lost another half inch from my waist. Though I’m eating mostly primal, my weight loss has halted. I assume it is stress. Every day I go to Grandmother Friend’s house and sit at her bedside as she fades away, trying not to kill Grandpa Simpson for telling long, boring stories that go absolutely nowhere at all, and telling me that he is bored.

                        It is very inconsiderate that someone else’s death is not all about him, isn’t it? How rude. I suppose I should have commiserated by mentioning that Grandmother Friend’s ill health has negatively impacted my weight loss, and we could have shaken our heads together at how terrible this is. How could you choose NOW to go downhill, Grandmother Friend? Don’t you realize that I’m nowhere near 166? Don’t you care that poor Grandpa Simpson is bored**?

                        Valhalla knows what my body is doing. I didn’t even weigh myself today, and I don’t care. It may be a few more days before she passes, it may be tomorrow, it may be tonight. I’m eating as well as I can under the circumstances and saying to hell with the rest. But the Giant Jammie Pants took a nosedive this morning and I can no longer wear them, so I ordered some new jammie pants and hopefully they will fit. Goodbye, Giant Jammie Pants. I will never look so dead sexy again.
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

                          * If Stacy and Clinton of What Not To Wear were to see me in my jammies, they would weep.

                          ** Gay Panda is putting Grandpa Simpson up for adoption tomorrow to a good home. He is house-trained (I promise) and affectionate (needy) and entertaining (do you like stories?) and self-confident (self-absorbed).
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                          • I would have snapped at Grandpa Simpson a long time ago. That's disgustingly rude and inconsiderate and GAAAAHHHH I would have told him to get the hell out! That's so terrible >.<
                            Something else that's terrible is that I'm going to tell you I'm going through the same thing at the moment, as my remaining gerbil seems to be on his deathbed. I know to most people that doesn't even compare, but I love my animals more than I love my own family. They've my fluffy/scaly children, and I've already had to unexpectantly say goodbye to 2 of them this year. Now Old Man Pickle looks like he's finally going to join his brother. I've been away for a few days and he's held on, but he and pippin were the first pets I bought myself 3 years ago and I don't want to have say goodbye to him ='(
                            So I'm here for you Panda if you wanted someone to talk to. I know I'm not Lady Friend, but I'm here for you. =] xxxx
                            Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

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                            • Just wanted to say how much the Giant Jammie Pants made me laugh, and how much I love your journal. I'm so sorry you are facing this loss. I can't help but be inspired by your panda dignity and humor in a time of crisis.
                              My True Primal Story

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                              • Dear Grandpa Simpson,

                                Is this really the time to comment that Lady Friend is masculine because she drives a big truck?

                                A: It is her work truck.
                                B: She requires a truck to lug around heavy equipment.
                                C: You're a sexist pig.

                                Sincerely,
                                Gay Panda
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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