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Do my actual work? or . . .
Pester Lady Friend with Christmas erotica?
Work . . .
Pester . . .
Work . . .
Pester . . .
Kidnapped by The Horny Christmas Elf
Unlucky in love Claire Holly wants just one present for Christmas: a man to spend it with. Being abducted by Santa’s elves wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. Tossed into the back of a sleigh and whisked off to the North Pole, she is surprised to learn that she has just been granted the position of Mrs. Claus . . . and her new husband isn’t Santa Claus but a factory full of horny elves.
Escaping toys, rude reindeer, squeaking beds, and a rampaging snow creature are causing chaos in what should be the happiest time of the year. What the North Pole needs is a very firm hand, and the elves think Claire has what it takes to get everything under control, including them. She isn’t so certain, but one thing is clear: this isn’t going to be a Christmas like any she has had ever before.
you aren't NEARLY as sweet and innocent as you look
i liked it though, in that 'i read playboy for the articles as well as the dirty pictures' kinda way
Well, if you would like more dirty stories about demon hunters, I can make the last two in the series free. Because I have UNTOLD POWER if I can remember my Amazon password (hopefully the computer will remember it for me).
. . . pause to see if Panda or The Computer remembers the password . . .
Point to The Computer!!! Wood should be free tomorrow.
AND I AM SO SWEET AND INNOCENT. I went to religious school for eight years and sat in chapel every single morning!!!
It was very strange to be in The Baby Aisle at Whole Foods this morning when Gay Panda neither has a baby nor one on the way, but Lady Friend needed wipes for Pigpen the Office Kitten. He's a very cute orange-and-white. He stretches up on people's legs to encourage them to pick him up for hugs. He is obsessed with killing fallen leaves, and then strolling around with their corpses trapped in his mighty jaws so that you might notice and praise him. And he is the biggest slob ever. He rolls in everything and steps in everything and then trails it all around Lady Friend's formerly pristine office. So she is going to start cleaning his four little feet with the wipes because he destroys her workplace on a daily basis.
But she never has to worry about murderous leaves again.
I have the pictures. I have the computer. I just do not have the tech spells to put these things together. And I cannot ask Lady Friend, who is gallantly crash-editing a book for me right now, and has offered to crash-edit a second book when she is done.
I have not forgotten, though. She takes adorable pictures of them and is suffering a reduction of her productivity at work because Leaf Ninja wants to loll in her lap, and A Pox On Your House* thinks there is nothing more grand than to loll on her boobs**. I am also suffering a reduction in work productivity because she texts me pictures and videos all the time.
* Poxie has a lot of spots on his tummy. So far they have not proved to be contagious.
** When not lolling on her boobs, Poxie is battling the stuffed Sheep Voldemort he knocked out of her office tree while Leaf Ninja battles greenery.