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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • Originally posted by DinoHunter View Post
    Hopefully most people buying books called "help ive fallen & there's a tentacle in my butt" are giving them as gag gifts....
    If not Im taking it as proof that the human race is doomed
    Alas, you are much more optimistic than I!
    My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

    Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    • Originally posted by DinoHunter View Post
      Hopefully most people buying books called "help ive fallen & there's a tentacle in my butt" are giving them as gag gifts....
      If not Im taking it as proof that the human race is doomed
      I hope you meant joke and not where my mind went, which was Gag - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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      • Do my actual work? or . . .
        Pester Lady Friend with Christmas erotica?
        Work . . .
        Pester . . .
        Work . . .
        Pester . . .

        Oh, well.


        Kidnapped by The Horny Christmas Elf

        Unlucky in love Claire Holly wants just one present for Christmas: a man to spend it with. Being abducted by Santa’s elves wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. Tossed into the back of a sleigh and whisked off to the North Pole, she is surprised to learn that she has just been granted the position of Mrs. Claus . . . and her new husband isn’t Santa Claus but a factory full of horny elves.

        Escaping toys, rude reindeer, squeaking beds, and a rampaging snow creature are causing chaos in what should be the happiest time of the year. What the North Pole needs is a very firm hand, and the elves think Claire has what it takes to get everything under control, including them. She isn’t so certain, but one thing is clear: this isn’t going to be a Christmas like any she has had ever before.
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • I am so very tempted to write this story and present it to Lady Friend for her birthday in December.
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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          • sooo

            gay panda

            i read your erotical story

            you aren't NEARLY as sweet and innocent as you look

            i liked it though, in that 'i read playboy for the articles as well as the dirty pictures' kinda way
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
              sooo

              gay panda

              i read your erotical story

              you aren't NEARLY as sweet and innocent as you look

              i liked it though, in that 'i read playboy for the articles as well as the dirty pictures' kinda way
              Well, if you would like more dirty stories about demon hunters, I can make the last two in the series free. Because I have UNTOLD POWER if I can remember my Amazon password (hopefully the computer will remember it for me).

              . . . pause to see if Panda or The Computer remembers the password . . .

              Point to The Computer!!! Wood should be free tomorrow.

              AND I AM SO SWEET AND INNOCENT. I went to religious school for eight years and sat in chapel every single morning!!!
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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              • Primal Fail continues: Corn Flakes, Breakfast of Nauseous Champions!!!

                Seriously, Bydureon, you suck.
                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                • Wedding Night with Mr. Tentacle

                  First she waited for Mr. Right.
                  Then she settled for Mr. Good Enough.
                  What she got was Mr. Tentacle.

                  Nope, I just can't write any more of this blurb. GROSS. I'll stick to the Horny Elf series.
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                  • Hey, thanks for the free stories!

                    Seriously, I think Lady Friend is gonna love the Horny Elves birthday gift.
                    My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                    Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by The Walrus View Post
                      Hey, thanks for the free stories!

                      Seriously, I think Lady Friend is gonna love the Horny Elves birthday gift.
                      You're welcome!

                      I think she's going to yell at me that she is Jewish and pagan, and then I will present her with the sequels Eight Nights of Naughty and A Solstice Spanking.

                      Yeah, I'm forfeiting any gifts this year.
                      JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                      • It's good to think ahead. Actually a series tailored to Jewish pagans is stunningly forward thinking.
                        My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                        Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                        • It was very strange to be in The Baby Aisle at Whole Foods this morning when Gay Panda neither has a baby nor one on the way, but Lady Friend needed wipes for Pigpen the Office Kitten. He's a very cute orange-and-white. He stretches up on people's legs to encourage them to pick him up for hugs. He is obsessed with killing fallen leaves, and then strolling around with their corpses trapped in his mighty jaws so that you might notice and praise him. And he is the biggest slob ever. He rolls in everything and steps in everything and then trails it all around Lady Friend's formerly pristine office. So she is going to start cleaning his four little feet with the wipes because he destroys her workplace on a daily basis.

                          But she never has to worry about murderous leaves again.
                          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                          • Is a picture possible? I need to die of cuteness. Preferably one with Office Kitten actually holding a leaf in his mouth.
                            My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                            Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                            • I have the pictures. I have the computer. I just do not have the tech spells to put these things together. And I cannot ask Lady Friend, who is gallantly crash-editing a book for me right now, and has offered to crash-edit a second book when she is done.

                              I have not forgotten, though. She takes adorable pictures of them and is suffering a reduction of her productivity at work because Leaf Ninja wants to loll in her lap, and A Pox On Your House* thinks there is nothing more grand than to loll on her boobs**. I am also suffering a reduction in work productivity because she texts me pictures and videos all the time.

                              * Poxie has a lot of spots on his tummy. So far they have not proved to be contagious.

                              ** When not lolling on her boobs, Poxie is battling the stuffed Sheep Voldemort he knocked out of her office tree while Leaf Ninja battles greenery.
                              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                              • Behold KITTEHS!!

                                farmcat.jpeg
                                cutie.jpeg
                                fail.jpeg
                                sheepvoldemort.jpeg
                                brothers.jpeg
                                Got Panda? Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and now Pandaloonery!

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