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  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    but a a feel better soon gift to you, i present the biggest fantasy wish fulfillment title of all time

    http://www.amazon.com/Alpha-Billiona...ha+billionaire
    AWESOME. I love that a millionaire is no longer enough. Now the ultimate in man appeal has to be a billionaire!!! (And still be in possession of a wounded little-boy soul like 50 Shades.)

    I should probably read it. It may inspire my own erotica writing. I got a review recently on one of my sexy times stories from someone who marked it down on stars because she liked it but she didn't really know what she liked to read. I'm still puzzling over that one. WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?!?
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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    • it could mean that she felt weird liking it

      what did you write in that erotica you deviant?
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
        it could mean that she felt weird liking it

        what did you write in that erotica you deviant?
        ZOMG, it was actually pretty tame as far as erotica goes!!! It was the story I scribbled down madly last year for that Can You Write And Publish A Book In 8 Hours on Amazon? challenge. (The answer is yes, you can, but you will go mad in the process.) So I came up with a fake author name and wrote a story about two hunters whose job it is to seduce sexy demons and steal their magic spells afterwards. Then I expanded it over the last year into a series of seven sexy novelettes. Everyone is adult and consenting, there's some BDSM in Volume #5 but nothing overboard, and the hunters fall in love with each other by Volume #7 and live happily ever after (still banging demons and making bank doing it).

        Considering what I've seen for sale on Amazon (dinosaur p*rn? BLEGH), that story of mine is G-rated on the erotica scale.
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • you're testing my will power

          demon erotica?

          dinosaur erotica?

          gay panda, you're testing my buy clicking finger
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

          Comment


          • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
            you're testing my will power

            demon erotica?

            dinosaur erotica?

            gay panda, you're testing my buy clicking finger
            Here is an example of the dinosaur erotica. I haven't read it, but the covers on these books are pretty funny. (The reviews are funny, too. Someone was surprised the dinosaur and woman didn't use protection.) Taken by the T-Rex (Dinosaur Erotica) - Kindle edition by Christie Sims, Alara Branwen. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

            And here is my naughty demon erotica. You don't need a buy clicking finger - there is no charge for a story I wrote/edited/published in eight hours. That one is permanently free. Fire (An Elemental Romance Series Book 1) - Kindle edition by Jordan Reece. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
            Last edited by Gay Panda; 09-27-2014, 07:59 PM.
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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            • The reviews are great:

              Accurate and relatable
              It is very uncommon to find accurate depictions of dinosaur on woman sex. If, like me, you have found it increasingly difficult to satisfy your need to recount old times, then this literary masterpiece is for you. No other author has truly been able to both arouse and entice my intense desire to mate with a T-Rex as accurately and successfully as Christie Sims. I would...
              Not Bestiality
              Don't worry, it's not bestiality because she's a dinosaur too. At the end of the book, you learn she's a Mega-Sore-Ass...
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                Here is an example of the dinosaur erotica. I haven't read it, but the covers on these books are pretty funny. (The reviews are funny, too. Someone was surprised the dinosaur and woman didn't use protection.) Taken by the T-Rex (Dinosaur Erotica) - Kindle edition by Christie Sims, Alara Branwen. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.[/url]
                Shoudent have clicked the link... how am I gonna get chia tea out of my keyboard ?(and "that" outta my head?)
                Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

                http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

                Comment


                • Thanks for the story. Better than coffee! And I don't have to put butter in it.
                  My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                  Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

                  Comment


                  • I see your billionaire erotica and raise you a billionaire weredinosaur erotica.

                    Yes, a weredinosaur. This sexy billionaire man has a very big secret indeed. Fifty Shades of Paleontology (Billionaire Dinosaur Erotica) - Kindle edition by Lucy Sparks. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

                    And for a nightcap. Even though it is not yet noon. Tentacles Made Me Gay - Kindle edition by Hunter Fox. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
                    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                      Here is an example of the dinosaur erotica. I haven't read it, but the covers on these books are pretty funny. (The reviews are funny, too. Someone was surprised the dinosaur and woman didn't use protection.) Taken by the T-Rex (Dinosaur Erotica) - Kindle edition by Christie Sims, Alara Branwen. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

                      And here is my naughty demon erotica. You don't need a buy clicking finger - there is no charge for a story I wrote/edited/published in eight hours. That one is permanently free. Fire (An Elemental Romance Series Book 1) - Kindle edition by Jordan Reece. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
                      Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                      The reviews are great:
                      Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                      I see your billionaire erotica and raise you a billionaire weredinosaur erotica.

                      Yes, a weredinosaur. This sexy billionaire man has a very big secret indeed. Fifty Shades of Paleontology (Billionaire Dinosaur Erotica) - Kindle edition by Lucy Sparks. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

                      And for a nightcap. Even though it is not yet noon. Tentacles Made Me Gay - Kindle edition by Hunter Fox. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
                      oh god i cackled

                      i'm still cackling
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

                      Comment


                      • And as the mimicry of morning sickness continues, so does the Primal Fail: breakfast of chicken fried rice.

                        Instead of working (shame on me) I'm cruising Amazon for more weird erotica titles. I can't bring myself to post the link, but I just discovered: "I've Fallen and There's a Tentacle in my Butt". It has a sequel: "I've Fallen and There's a Tentacle in my Butt, Again!!!"

                        "The Horny Minotaur" is outselling all of my books. I don't know how I feel about that.

                        Most of my books are also being outdone by "The Horny Leprechaun" and its sequel.

                        I'm doing a little better than "Red Hot Troll Sex".

                        I don't know what to make of this, so I am going to work with Lady Friend to play with her two new office kittens.
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • I've been trying to come up with a clever way of telling you that I enjoy your writing, your stuff is terrific and I wish there was an unending supply of it, but I'm really not very clever. So - I enjoy your writing, your stuff is terrific and I wish there was an unending supply of it.

                          The fact that you don't outsell "The Horny Leprechaun" is just proof that most people, even those who purchase books, are morons.
                          My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                          Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by The Walrus View Post
                            I've been trying to come up with a clever way of telling you that I enjoy your writing, your stuff is terrific and I wish there was an unending supply of it, but I'm really not very clever. So - I enjoy your writing, your stuff is terrific and I wish there was an unending supply of it.

                            The fact that you don't outsell "The Horny Leprechaun" is just proof that most people, even those who purchase books, are morons.
                            Thank you, Walrus! It always makes me happy when someone enjoys my writing. I really enjoy putting stories together. It's like a jigsaw puzzle.

                            I was checking out what titles outsell mine in the erotica category and wondering if I need to switch my focus, but I just don't think I can pull off a good Wedding Night with Mr. Tentacle story or Kidnapped by the Horny Christmas Elves series.

                            Now that I think about it, I might actually be able to work an angle on that latter one. Lady Friend, who does all my editing, is going to kill me.
                            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                            • Hopefully most people buying books called "help ive fallen & there's a tentacle in my butt" are giving them as gag gifts....
                              If not Im taking it as proof that the human race is doomed
                              Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

                              http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

                              Comment


                              • I dunno, I think there are possibilities in the Horny Christmas Elves. Maybe not so much with Mr. Tentacle.
                                My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                                Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

                                Comment

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