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Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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  • It has been ten years now, and I have never looked at a cucumber in the same way. Gay Panda has to go grocery shopping today and will yet again look askance at the bin in the produce section.

    Loose Screw was fresh off her second or third divorce, and she had decided it was time to go wild. The husband was out; the kids were grown and gone. Everyone had been having fun in life except her for the last 60 years, and now she could make up for it. Threesomes. Toys. Foursomes. Leatherwear. Bisexuality. Phone sex. Swing clubs. She juggled up to three relationships at a time and transformed her bedroom into a jungle of revolving partners made up of long-term friends and newly-acquainted. It was 50 Shades of Gray for the retirement set.

    Over the Internet she made a new friend to welcome to the jungle. A wealthy and attractive man from Europe, he was the heir to a shipping empire. Flirty conversations ensued over the keyboards, and she invited him over to her house for introductions in the flesh and sexy times. Then she waited for the knock.

    When it came, she opened the door. He stood there with a bright smile and a giant cucumber in his hand. You might be wondering why he had brought a cucumber as a sexual aid when he was fully functional in his nether regions, and let me explain.

    It was not for her.

    Afterwards, they made a salad with it.

    You’re welcome. And now I have to go shopping.
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

    Comment


    • Thank you, GP. I needed that. Wrong as it may have been...

      Comment


      • old news_FABULOUS Experiment

        Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
        UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, and ***)

        * Oh, I misunderstood the term? I know. This is tongue-in-cheek. ☺

        ** Obviously, this does not apply to our friend Roger.

        *** For those of you with a minute to spare, would you take part in a completely scientific study on Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS? I am curious to know at what rate you are losing weight. Are you part of the Revered One Pound A Day Club? Or are you standing forlornly outside the door like Gay Panda, averaging one a week? Maybe you’re losing even more slowly than that, or not at all like Lady Friend (which is why she’s doing Atkins Induction now). How alike or how different are we?
        I started at the beginning of this thread and refuse to skip to the end. Maybe you have your answer, perhaps not.

        I have always had the same issues with losing weight. Until now. my gut was unbalanced since I was seven. Insane docs prescribed a child pennicillan for a year straight. Also lived spitting distance from TMI. My school pics that year show the damage in my first fat pic in a long line of fat pics. Many diets, antidepressants, diet pills, ED's later, I found primal, but not weight loss. Enter Primal Flora and cheap fermented foods after much research. Now I am losing a pound a day eating full fat delicious food.

        Yes. I am allergic to exercise now due to burn out in the past.

        Hope this helps if you don't already know.

        Comment


        • It was not for her.
          Didn't see that one coming.
          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

          B*tch-lite

          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

          Comment


          • Oh Myyyyyy.
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • Ewwwwww

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post


                [ATTACH]12296[/ATTACH]
                well then. WHO'S A BAD ASS?!

                Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                It has been ten years now, and I have never looked at a cucumber in the same way. Gay Panda has to go grocery shopping today and will yet again look askance at the bin in the produce section.

                Loose Screw was fresh off her second or third divorce, and she had decided it was time to go wild. The husband was out; the kids were grown and gone. Everyone had been having fun in life except her for the last 60 years, and now she could make up for it. Threesomes. Toys. Foursomes. Leatherwear. Bisexuality. Phone sex. Swing clubs. She juggled up to three relationships at a time and transformed her bedroom into a jungle of revolving partners made up of long-term friends and newly-acquainted. It was 50 Shades of Gray for the retirement set.

                Over the Internet she made a new friend to welcome to the jungle. A wealthy and attractive man from Europe, he was the heir to a shipping empire. Flirty conversations ensued over the keyboards, and she invited him over to her house for introductions in the flesh and sexy times. Then she waited for the knock.

                When it came, she opened the door. He stood there with a bright smile and a giant cucumber in his hand. You might be wondering why he had brought a cucumber as a sexual aid when he was fully functional in his nether regions, and let me explain.

                It was not for her.

                Afterwards, they made a salad with it.


                You’re welcome. And now I have to go shopping.
                sweet baby jesus
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  When it came, she opened the door. He stood there with a bright smile and a giant cucumber in his hand. You might be wondering why he had brought a cucumber as a sexual aid when he was fully functional in his nether regions, and let me explain.

                  It was not for her.

                  Afterwards, they made a salad with it.

                  You’re welcome. And now I have to go shopping.
                  It really dosent help things that I had a cucumber salad with supper right before I read this.....
                  Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

                  http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

                  Comment


                  • I realize that your acquaintance was out for adventure, but really, ladies, if he shows up and wants you to do him that way, he should really bring the most beautiful strap-on he can find. A cucumber? Really? Spring for the toy, dude. Spring for dinner. I'm not eating a cucumber once it's been in someone's ass. You just can't peel it enough.

                    [/tongue-in-cheek]
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                      I realize that your acquaintance was out for adventure, but really, ladies, if he shows up and wants you to do him that way, he should really bring the most beautiful strap-on he can find. A cucumber? Really? Spring for the toy, dude. Spring for dinner. I'm not eating a cucumber once it's been in someone's ass. You just can't peel it enough.

                      [/tongue-in-cheek]
                      +1!
                      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                      Comment


                      • He could have at least brought two.

                        And is that a five-star, number one ranking I spy? Congratulations, GayPanda!

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                          I...

                          [/tongue-in-cheek]
                          ...because THAT is better?

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by RaeVynn View Post
                            ...because THAT is better?

                            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                            Comment


                            • It is no secret that I did not care for the Twilight series. That's okay. An author can't please everyone, and sparkly vampires who talk about their feelings just isn't my thing. Plenty of other people enjoyed the series tremendously.

                              But what is entirely unfair is the delightful moron who gave Twilight a one-star review on Amazon, stating that he/she had not even read it, but was judging the book entirely on its length. In his/her opinion, no good book is over 300 pages. Since Twilight was longer than that, it proved that the book was bad. So, one star it is.

                              That is insane.
                              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

                              Comment


                              • I tried to read the first book twice and failed both times because I found it so awful... but never went on Amazon and rated it badly.

                                I'm a good person.

                                No book over 300 pages is good?
                                What?
                                The mind BOGGLES!!!

                                I take it this person is never going to bother with actual literature...
                                “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                                ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                                And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                                Comment

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