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  • Originally posted by ottercat View Post
    p.s. If you want to see some epic scoffing, watch "Snow White and the Huntsman" where she makes this weird little buck-toothed face and goes "huhh" for every single emotion: terror! astonishment! consternation! huhh...
    This is the movie that gave me my KS Botox epiphany... the girl has a crap ton of paralytic stuff in her face.
    The scene where she is supposed to be screaming and she ALMOST emotes a crinkle of something near her eyes... /smh.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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    • Pinnacle- stay away from the cookie dough flavor. It sounds like a great idea, but mouthwash tastes better.
      UV- Cake and Chocolate Cake are sooooooo goood !
      Svedka- Orange Cream (or creamsicle, or something)

      I have since rethought my Team Jacob stance. Edward deserves her. Jacob can do so much better. I'm still waiting for Jacob and his infant love to turn on the sparkly freaks and wipe them out- because that's what any self-respecting dhampir/werewolf pairing would do.
      http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

      Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

      And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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      • Gay Panda got the panda thyroid felt up by an eager medical professional last week, and it was every bit as sexy as it sounds.

        In truth I felt somewhat inadequate as a lover while reading 50 Shades of Gray, since my romantic partners have never stumbled across me playing contemplative music on the piano after a soul-shatteringly ecstatic romp in bed, or had to sign a contract bending their will to mine. People do not follow me around the grocery store wanting to scrawl their digits on the back of my paw, or line up outside my bedroom door hoping to get pandaed.

        But on Wednesday I met a man who was absolutely delighted to play naughty doctor to my acquiescent patient, and I submitted my neck to his vile yet titillating caresses.* I was unable to swallow without pain for the rest of the day. He is a rare specimen of endocrinologist who does not assign 100% of his diagnoses on lab values. My personal doctor looks at my lab values and concludes that I am fine, even though I am obviously not fine. I score in the normal to low normal range, ergo I am healthy even if I do not feel healthy at all. I wanted to know why it is that I haven’t been able to lose weight since those long ago antidepressants, am losing more and more hair, and walk around like a very old and tired panda when Gay Panda is not that old and has no reason to be tired. So he felt up my neck lasciviously and did not even have the decency to ask if I had a safeword.**

        Gay Panda has an enlarged thyroid covered in nodules. It is enlarged enough that I have lost the natural gutters that people (and pandas) have in their necks. He did not feel a tumor or think a sonogram was yet necessary, but Gay Panda has nodules on the right and a nodule on the middle and a nodule on the left. He also noticed that my eyebrows are growing sparse, and wants the results of an antibodies test to confirm/deny Hashimoto’s. I will be reporting next Friday to the vampires who dress up in nurse costumes so that they can siphon some of their personal ambrosia in the guise of medical care.

        And we (may) have an answer. I am on Day Three of a tiny dose of Synthroid to see how I react to it. So far I am just very tired, and doing the laundry still feels like climbing Mt. Everest. We will reevaluate in July to see if there is any change. But what was lovely about the appointment was not being blamed for my weight, or told if I just exercised more, the spare pounds would go POOF and people would line up outside my bedroom door hoping to get pandaed.

        He also felt very confident in saying that it was Prozac that caused this weight issue to start with. He’s seen it over and over and over again. I have a lot of awful feelings about that. Antidepressants were pushed on me so hard as a teenager, and I was told when I started gaining weight that it had absolutely nothing to do with the drugs. But those are all feelings for other posts. The Laundry Everest is waiting, and I want to brag to Lady Friend about crossing off the 51st shade on my bucket list. And now that the pain has at last died, I feel only the heady glow of satisfaction at finally having some sort of answer.
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

          * He actually was a doctor, and a consummate professional one at that. I just finished writing the first draft of an erotic romance novella and it put me in a mood to start this post in a completely puerile way.

          ** I do. It is banana thongs. Maybe one day I will have the opportunity to use it.
          JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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          • Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
            I have since rethought my Team Jacob stance. Edward deserves her. Jacob can do so much better.
            Damn you, drssgchic! You have a good point there.
            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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            • Originally posted by ottercat View Post
              Dearest Panda,
              do you know what I universally hate hate HATE about your books?? they END! combine that with being an insomniac and a fast reader and there is much sadness. I realized I was 85% of the way through Runegame and I didn't want it to end so I went back and re-read the first three books and then Runegame. Now I am a sad Otter. I have to know what happens in the next book, but then the whole series will be over! I'm imagining redemption for Saxon through a gory death with her last breath in Noah's arms
              Your posts always make me smile. The Rune series is NOT over with the next book - there are five altogether. Runemaster will be out in November and Runeslade next April. (And they are both very very VERY long.) I also wrote the Earth/Sky novel about the ditz torn between the fallen angel and zombie boyfriends, the first of the romantic supernatural trilogy that Saxon and Bella absolutely loathe. Finished it at one this morning, and I think I lost an IQ point along the way.

              Poor Saxon. She goes from someone I have such sympathy for in Fool/Fly to someone I can't stand in Game/Master.
              JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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              • Oh, and as to my Sip Per Scoff solo drinking game the other night, I made it halfway through the first Twilight movie and passed out on the sofa.
                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                  Your posts always make me smile. The Rune series is NOT over with the next book - there are five altogether. Runemaster will be out in November and Runeslade next April. (And they are both very very VERY long.) I also wrote the Earth/Sky novel about the ditz torn between the fallen angel and zombie boyfriends, the first of the romantic supernatural trilogy that Saxon and Bella absolutely loathe. Finished it at one this morning, and I think I lost an IQ point along the way.

                  Poor Saxon. She goes from someone I have such sympathy for in Fool/Fly to someone I can't stand in Game/Master.
                  Goddammit, I have to wade through two more very long books to find out what happened to Paige?!? Hooray! 2 more very very VERY long books! We'll be watching the skies for the stork to drop off the otter-kit in August so I'll either have many sleepless nights for RuneMaster or I will forget the existence of these things called "books". At least you are a prolific Panda, I am waiting for the "next book" in at least five series, with no end in sight (pointedly raises eyebrows at George R.R. Martin and Jeff Long and and and....). Poor Saxie, so evil, and yet so romantically tragic in a trainwreck sort of way.

                  Is Earth/Sky the erotic novella you mentioned, that would be hilarious! or disgusting? Zombie loooove.

                  Anyway, keep up the awesome writing!!
                  Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                  Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                  "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

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                  • Originally posted by ottercat View Post
                    Goddammit, I have to wade through two more very long books to find out what happened to Paige?!? Hooray! 2 more very very VERY long books! We'll be watching the skies for the stork to drop off the otter-kit in August so I'll either have many sleepless nights for RuneMaster or I will forget the existence of these things called "books". At least you are a prolific Panda, I am waiting for the "next book" in at least five series, with no end in sight (pointedly raises eyebrows at George R.R. Martin and Jeff Long and and and....). Poor Saxie, so evil, and yet so romantically tragic in a trainwreck sort of way.

                    Is Earth/Sky the erotic novella you mentioned, that would be hilarious! or disgusting? Zombie loooove.

                    Anyway, keep up the awesome writing!!
                    Welcome, otter-kit!!! (in August)

                    No, Earth/Sky is not the erotic novella. It's a book-length piece of romantic supernatural YA tripe. As I was trying to make it even more tripe-y while doing the initial notes, I gave all of the fallen angels differently-colored wings with glittering points. THERE. I can't believe that I'm actually intending to write Above/Below and Heaven/Hell, in which Jessa continues to obsess over whether she wants to be with fallen angel Adriel or the zombie Zakia. Lady Friend is in true pain at this series. (She is also in true pain because I made her watch the 'It's Tan Mom' music video.)

                    The erotic novella is called Gifts, and I think that I should release it under a pseudonym since most of the rest of my work is YA. Gifts by Panda Pants-Off, or something along those lines.
                    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                    • Well, whatever the pseudonym is, you have to let us in on it.
                      http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

                      Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

                      And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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                      • I'm seriously thinking that Panda Pants-Off might be the way to go.

                        Writing in the erotic romance genre after growing up in a religious school was very weird indeed.
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • Originally posted by Gay Panda View Post
                          I'm seriously thinking that Panda Pants-Off might be the way to go.

                          Writing in the erotic romance genre after growing up in a religious school was very weird indeed.
                          Is there a "throbbing member"...
                          PLEASE tell me there is at least one "throbbing member"!
                          *giggle*
                          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                            Is there a "throbbing member"...
                            PLEASE tell me there is at least one "throbbing member"!
                            *giggle*
                            Don't forget "turgid"... you've got to use the word "turgid" at least once per "scene"...

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                            • and "tumescent"
                              Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

                              http://primaldog.blogspot.co.uk/

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                              • Oh, Synthroid. You are NOT Panda's friend.
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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