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  • Originally posted by Griffin View Post
    I don't remember that spell from Harry Potter!
    It was left out of the final version.

    Cadbure Erumpo! (Erumpo is Latin for burst.)
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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    • Originally posted by HeatherJ View Post
      I saw Cabury Screme Eggs at Morrisons yesterday, out for Halloween. I stead of yellow goo inside, it is green! And the foil around the egg is suitably spooky.
      That is FANTASTIC. I am moving to the UK!
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      • Bread Pusher just brought over bread. Sigh. I love you, Bread, and you are the exact kind that I like, white and fluffy and fresh and devoid of nutrition. But you do not love me back. You make me 231 panda pounds, while meat and fruit and the occasional veggie make me 188.4. All my internal Mr. Magazine Times are telling me right now that it won't hurt me to eat you, but Mr. Magazine Time lies. He wants me to be fat just as much as I want me to be normal.

        I feel like I'm back in high school, writhing in the torment of unrequited love. I'm going to make a big buttery rib eye and pretend that the bread is not sitting on my counter. But it is, and my body is clamoring for it right now. This sucks.
        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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        • Toss it out in the yard! 'Cause that is what bread is for: the birds.

          P.S.- Please do move to the UK.

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          • Just think of all the mold spores living in that bread right now. Blecch!
            There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

            My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

            The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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            • PART ONE
              I should have found a hobo last night. But I didn’t.
              I should have torn up the bread and given it to the chickens. But I didn’t do that either.
              I should have thrown it right into the trash. Yet again, I didn’t.

              Yesterday morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I finished dressing, and I caught myself thinking I look okay. This means a lot to me. The blended genetics of the Panda Parents did not create a cub of stunning beauty. While I don’t send dogs yowling down the street, I would never be mistaken for one of the Pretty People. This upset me as a cub, because I really wanted to be.

              By age 19, I had just begun to come to terms that how I looked was how I looked. I was okay. I have a lovely color of hair and interesting eyes, blue with a darker ring of blue outlining them, and my ears don’t match in a way that I like. One is regular, and one has a touch of Vulcan or elf point to it. I had nice muscles from swimming butterfly. I did not belong on a movie screen, but there is consolation that while I could never play the pretty romantic lead, I’d never play the ugly villain either. I was okay, and I could live with that.

              What was going to make the difference for me in the dating ring, I felt, was how I dressed and my personality. I have the stereotypical Scout personality from growing up in a strict religious school. I am helpful and polite and punctual and diligent. I never abandon my cart in the Whole Foods parking lot, and I feed my pets before I feed myself. If you drop the 500 pages of your novel on a windy day, I’ll help you pick up and hang over the guardrail on the overpass trying to reach page 457, even if it contains just five words and a period for the end of a chapter. As to my clothes, I have cultivated a nice wardrobe. So when I go out, I may not blind anyone with my beauty, but I’ve got a nice outfit and I’ll hold the door open for you. This makes up for some of what I lack.

              Six months after concluding at 19 that I looked okay, and instead of saving for plastic surgery, that I would be okay with it, I had gained 70 pounds. That worked up to 94 pounds in a shockingly short amount of time. Suddenly, I didn’t look okay at all. I looked awful. My frame borders small/medium, and I can’t hide my fat as well as someone with a larger frame. The worst is how it bloats up my face, like of the 231 panda pounds, 31 of them reside in my cheeks alone. I don’t have an effervescent personality to distract; snazzy clothes are hard to find for the obese.

              So to look in the mirror yesterday after I pulled on my shirt, and to think okay, surprised me. It’s been many years since I thought that. There’s still a gut, but it’s eleven inches smaller than in May. My waist has condensed four inches, and I was 188.4 on the scale. I was getting dressed because I had to go grocery shopping, and I’d goofed around on MDA for so long that I left late without much breakfast. I hate busy stores, so I try to go early.
              Last edited by Gay Panda; 10-01-2011, 09:42 AM.
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              • PART TWO
                Because I was hungry, the bread at Trader Joe’s tempted me. But I looked okay, I told myself, and that’s huge. I look okay because I stopped eating bread. So I walked on a little sadly, but I look okay was more important. By Whole Foods I was much hungrier, and paused at the cupcake case. But again, I look okay won out, and I went to the meat counter and thought about the swine flu that the cart was giving me. At home I ate a chicken, and stopped thinking about carbohydrates.

                Bread Pusher came over as I was taking the rib eye out of the fridge to broil. It wasn’t the best day and I was stressed. I was overdue for dinner and I hadn’t recognized how hungry I was until then. The bread looked gorgeous, and I fought with myself. Finally, I realized that I was losing the battle, so I told myself that I had to eat the rib eye first, as much of it as I could. And I did that. The bread sat there while I broiled the meat, and it sat there while I ate it. Then I picked up a piece of the bread, tore out some of the soft middle, and swallowed it while hating myself.

                I was full from the rib eye. That kept me from eating more. I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge, and since my primal chickens prefer roast beef to bread, today I’ll put it in the trash. But even that little bit that I ate has had consequences. I have shot up a ridiculous amount on the scale, so much that I can’t even bring myself to type it here. I know that it’s water, and this doesn’t upset me as much as the fact that I caved to the bread after resisting all day long, and being so happy to know that I look okay. I don’t know why I did it. It doesn’t seem like sabotage (that would have been buying a whole loaf at the store), and I never would have eaten any bread at all if Bread Pusher hadn’t brought it over.

                But I’m disappointed in myself. I know better, and I still made a bad decision. I didn’t want to find a hobo at night; my chickens won’t eat it; and throwing it away seems wasteful. Tossing food feels so sinful when other people are hungry. They would have been grateful for what I was chucking. My internal Mr. Magazine Times are cheering, because they won a victory last night. At least I made sure it was a little one. I have nothing but respect for those of you going through primal with family members and housemates who eat conventionally. After last night, I can say with utter surety that Gay Panda is not that strong.
                Last edited by Gay Panda; 10-01-2011, 09:40 AM.
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                • UPDATE: As Gay Panda does not want to be a sore loser, I am currently playing Put A Ring On It on YouTube while I type this. I salute you, internal Mr. Magazine Times in my fat cells. You won, single ladies, fair and square. Well-played.

                  Who ever would have thought this song would one day be Gay Panda's Anthem of Defeat?
                  JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                  • You have done so well for so long, and have made so much progress in that time. One fall off the primal wagon should not be looked at as a defeat, rather than as a reminder of why you changed the foods you eat in the first place. Clearly you can really see how much better off you are without gluten in your system. I doubt that there is one person in here who has not done the same thing at different points, so don't let it totally get to you. I will bet even Mark Sisson has had his moments. Go back to what you have been doing as it has been working for you, and your bread bloat will be gone in a few days.
                    Last edited by newlifejourney; 10-01-2011, 11:59 AM. Reason: i goofed up

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                    • Always room back on the wagon, or sledge as it would be in Grok times. I fell off for a good 2 months & am currently celebrating 1 wk back on. Reminders of what life will be like when primal again:
                      Gay panda will have more energy which can be expended in perfecting rocker-like spin splits move.
                      Gay panda will be able to feel superior to all carb munchers
                      Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd

                      ‘THE FOOD YOU EAT CAN BE THE SAFEST AND MOST POWERFUL FORM OF MEDICINE OR THE SLOWEST RELEASING POISON' - Dr Ann Wigmore.

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                      • Thank you both for leaving kind words here! Messages always cheer up Gay Panda.

                        In thinking about this today, I believe what bothers me most was the unexpectedness. I time my bready indiscretions. Past the magical bamboo forest where Gay Panda lives is a fantastic steakhouse. The meat is almost outdone by the bread. I can't afford to go there often, but when I do, I know that I'm going to eat the bread. I can't fight it there, and I'm not going to try. I just minimize the damage by not asking for seconds.

                        I don't keep bread in the house, and thus avoid temptation. I can't cheat because what would I cheat with? So if I've been irresponsible or stressed and gotten too hungry, I just have to suck it up and wait for the meat to finish cooking. But last night, the bread was there. And I lost control. Just a little, but just enough. But the bloat will go away in a few days, and in the meantime, I need to develop a better coping strategy for Drive-By Breadings.
                        JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                        • you'll just have to tell your bread giving friend some variation of 'no thanks' or else toss it outside for the wildlife as soon as she leaves if you don't want temptation around. you could always tell her you've discovered it gives you a horrible case of ebola
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

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                          • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                            you'll just have to tell your bread giving friend some variation of 'no thanks' or else toss it outside for the wildlife as soon as she leaves if you don't want temptation around. you could always tell her you've discovered it gives you a horrible case of ebola
                            I'm going to have to go with your Option B. As soon as I see bread, it gets tossed out into the yard. I will not allow myself to ponder waste and world hunger. See bread, throw bread. Besides, some raccoon will pick it up, so something will eat it after all.

                            Bread Pusher has never been overweight and just doesn't get it, and she's also forgetful that I'm doing this. She's coming from an innocent (if a little inconsiderate) place. It doesn't matter how many times I remind her, it goes in one ear and out the other. So the burden is on me to chuck it outside, not stare at it on the counter and make deals about when I can eat it.
                            JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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                            • i thought for a second you meant the ebola option

                              i can't lie, i was hoping that would have been it
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

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                              • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                                i thought for a second you meant the ebola option i can't lie, i was hoping that would have been it
                                You win the Gay Panda Funny Point for today.

                                "I'm sorry, gluten gives me Ebola." I am now very tempted to say this to someone.
                                JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!

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